Upon reaching the back hall, Fu Chun wiped the sweat from his forehead: “My dear ancestor, you truly do have some nerve.”

Though he had not understood all the nuances of what had passed between them, in the space of three days, the emperor had been made to lose his composure twice. For that, Fu Chun had nothing but respect for Xie Yuzhang’s abilities.

Xie Yuzhang felt exhausted in her heart: “Serving beside the emperor is like serving beside a tiger.”

Fu Chun felt the same sentiment deeply.

Xie Yuzhang said: “Bring me some water. Just speaking a few sentences with him is enough to leave one’s throat parched — truly.”

Fu Chun had someone bring a warm drink — a preparation made by simmering red dates and various dried fruits together. Xie Yuzhang took a sip and sighed: “This is the old palace recipe.”

Fu Chun said: “Many of the old staff in the imperial kitchens are still there. During the years of war and turmoil, their section suffered the least, and many survived.”

Xie Yuzhang said: “Indeed — everyone needs to drink water and eat, even Huang Yungong could not subsist on wind and morning dew.”

Mentioning old acquaintances, Xie Yuzhang recalled something else she had in mind and said: “I have a matter I would like to entrust to you.”

Fu Chun said: “Your Highness, there is no need to speak of entrusting anything — Your Highness need only command.”

Xie Yuzhang let out a sigh and said: “Do you remember Fu Kang?”

Fu Chun understood at once, and let out a long sigh: “It is not that I am unwilling to handle this for Your Highness, only that Your Highness should not hold out much hope. Ah… Your Highness was not there to see it with your own eyes — at that time, ah…”

“I know.” Xie Yuzhang said quietly with grief, “But one cannot simply give up without even trying. The old survivors from that time, the soldiers who carried the bodies out of the palace, the ones responsible for the burial… she was a princess after all — her dress was different from others’, and her age certainly was not that of a palace consort. Ask around, all of them. Even if someone could tell me with certainty that she died, that she was buried — or even burned — I could accept it. I could set my heart at rest, burn some paper money for her, and know she has somewhere to go.”

Fu Chun immediately produced two tears: “This servant will do his utmost.”

In his heart, he could not help but think of the roommate he had strangled to death in the night of fire and flames — thinking he ought to burn some paper money for that fellow too, or better yet find a few monks to perform a rite of deliverance, have him reincarnate quickly and be done with it, so that his own heart could be at peace.

Xie Yuzhang drew a small embroidered pouch from her sleeve to give to Fu Chun. Fu Chun firmly refused.

Xie Yuzhang gave a lovely smile and tucked the pouch away again, saying: “Truly — look at me. You are no longer what you once were.”

Fu Chun kept saying “I would not dare” and “Your Highness is teasing me,” but his eyes were lit with a pride he could not conceal.

A man without roots was still a man. Xie Yuzhang was genuinely very skilled at handling men.

This time the wait stretched on for quite a long while.

Fu Chun settled her in comfortably with tea and pastries to hand, then returned to the front hall. The emperor was still in a temper, and at times like this Fu Chun had to press forward into the difficulty — only by doing so could others be made to appreciate all the more his own indispensability and standing.

Xie Yuzhang took in her surroundings. She suddenly became aware of how foreign Li Gu felt to her — across both lifetimes, she had in truth never once entered his personal life.

And now Li Gu’s personal life lay here before her, thrown open for her to survey.

Compared to when her father had occupied this place, the furnishings and decorations inside were far simpler — many of the gauze curtains had been removed, and there were no longer so many incense burners or decorative pieces. Though it was far less elegantly appointed and ornate than it had been then, the rooms had become high-ceilinged, spacious, and bright, and altogether much more refreshing.

On the wall hung not a painting of flowers, birds, bamboo, or rocks, but a great map of the realm, giving the chamber an additional quality of cold, hard, iron-blooded resolve.

The tea set on the sitting couch and table was of a bamboo-green secret-glaze porcelain, the teacups a full size larger than ordinary cups.

Imagining Li Gu drinking great unrefined gulps from such cups, Xie Yuzhang pressed her fist against the tip of her nose to conceal her smile.

Suddenly footsteps sounded, and Xie Yuzhang quickly rose to her feet. But the person who entered laughed: “My, it is Princess Yongning.”

The man was tall and powerfully built, a fine specimen of martial vigor, and reasonably good-looking, though there was something between his brows that gave one the impression of a person who was not entirely serious. Xie Yuzhang relaxed, and with a smile called out: “Seventh Elder Brother.”

Li Weifeng was rather fond of Xie Yuzhang addressing him this way — it felt warm and familiar, after all they were old acquaintances. Back in the day, the young men of Yunjing had all looked down their noses at others, yet only Xie Yuzhang had treated him and Shiyi Lang with genuine courtesy, and had also entrusted Yang Huaishen with looking out for them.

They were small gestures, yet they had left their mark on a person’s heart — a thread of goodwill born of old kindness.

“I knew you would come today — didn’t catch sight of you, asked around, and indeed here you are.” He smiled as he climbed onto the couch and sat across from Xie Yuzhang, picked up the bamboo-green secret-glaze teapot and poured himself a bowl first, drank a mouthful and said: “What is this? It is cloyingly sweet!”

Even as he said so, he continued to drink it down in great unrefined gulps, draining the bowl.

He set down his cup, noticed Xie Yuzhang pressing her lips together in amusement, and asked: “How have these past couple of days been? Back in Yunjing for the first time — is there anything you are finding difficult to adjust to? If there is, tell our emperor.”

He waggled his eyebrows with a grin, wearing the expression of a knowing confidant who was in on some private matter.

Xie Yuzhang had not known him in her previous life, and in this one had spent no more than half a day in his company total — she was truly not familiar with him. Based only on the illustrious reputation she had heard of him in her previous life, she would never have imagined he was the sort of person who smiled and joked so readily.

Without changing her expression, she said: “His Majesty is benevolent and magnanimous — I have nothing amiss at all. Being able to return to Yunjing, everything I see is splendid, everything I breathe is fragrant. How could I find it difficult to adjust?”

Hearing her say this, Li Weifeng thought of her eight years on the steppe. He had spent many years himself on the Hexi border — how could he not know what life was like there? He felt a wave of genuine feeling, and no longer felt like teasing her. Scratching his head, he said: “Well… anyway. If you have anything, just find Shiyi Lang.”

When he had been teasing her just moments ago he had called him “the emperor,” but now, quite naturally, the name “Shiyi Lang” came out instead. Xie Yuzhang recalled what she had heard in her previous life about the relationship between Li Weifeng and Li Gu, and thought: so the rumors were true.

Li Weifeng asked: “You’ve only been back three days — haven’t had a chance to go to Xie Family Village yet, I imagine?”

Xie Yuzhang felt a jolt inwardly, and said: “Seventh Elder Brother, how did you come to think of Xie Family Village?”

Li Weifeng said: “I oversaw the construction of that village.”

This was the first time Xie Yuzhang had heard this. She immediately relaxed and said: “I see.” She added casually: “His Majesty treats the former dynasty’s imperial family with great care — the breadth of an emperor’s heart and mind, truly inspiring.”

Li Weifeng thought: so flattering the emperor is a special talent of the Xie women.

He looked Xie Yuzhang over carefully.

Xie Yuzhang smiled and asked: “What is it?”

Li Weifeng said: “You and your cousin — there is some resemblance, and yet some difference.”

Xie Yuzhang was silent for a moment, and asked: “Which cousin of mine?”

Li Weifeng said: “Her former title was Princess of Kangle Commandery. Her father was formerly enfeoffed as Prince Shou.”

Xie Yuzhang was silent for even longer, then asked: “Where is Kangle elder sister now?”

Li Weifeng said: “She is naturally in Xie Family Village — where else would she be?”

Xie Yuzhang’s shoulders relaxed, and she asked with curiosity: “How does Seventh Elder Brother come to know my elder sister? Even having overseen the construction of the village, there ought to be no cause to become acquainted with the women inside.”

There was no way Li Weifeng could tell Xie Yuzhang: “Because I thought she looked like you, so I took her into the palace and prepared to give her to Shiyi Lang.”

If he could, he would gladly erase this piece of disgraceful history entirely.

Yet at the time — as someone who knew about the matter between Li Gu and Xie Yuzhang — upon encountering a young woman who resembled Xie Yuzhang so closely, the most correct and appropriate thing he could have done was to bring her at once before Li Gu.

In this world, everyone must do what was fitting to the seat they occupied.

Only now, looking back on it, the emotions that came welling up were a complex and indescribable blend of bitter and sweet.

Li Weifeng said: “You don’t know how much of a bond there is between her and me — the steward of my household right now is the very same steward who used to manage her family’s affairs.”

Xie Yuzhang said in surprise: “Is that so?”

Li Weifeng added: “When you have the chance, go and pay her a visit. I think she must miss you quite a bit. From what I can see, she worries a great deal about the members of your clan — and honestly, with her health being what it is, what is the point in worrying so much about others? Wouldn’t it be better to just let people live as they will? Nothing is as important as herself.”

Xie Yuzhang’s eyes went wide in disbelief.

On the journey back to the Central Plains, learning that Zhang Fen had married Li Weifeng had already been enough to astonish her. Now, from Li Weifeng’s words, it was obvious that he had feelings that were different when it came to Xie Baohua, a.k.a. Princess of Kangle.

How had this lucky star managed to entangle himself with two of the emperor’s women at the same time?

Xie Yuzhang carefully asked: “Seventh Elder Brother and my elder sister…?”

Li Weifeng rubbed the back of his neck and said: “Ah, she and I are pretty close. Well, not exactly that close. Hmm, it is fine, I suppose.” Then he picked up the cup again and raised it to drink.

He could not even get a clear sentence out! Xie Yuzhang simply asked outright: “Has my elder sister given herself to Seventh Elder Brother?”

Li Weifeng turned his head and — pfff — a mouthful of water spat straight onto the floor!

“Cough cough, you — cough — you, this young woman…” Li Weifeng, a rough-and-tumble sort of person, did not even know what to say. Xie Yuzhang looked so delicate and refined, so crystallinely lovely and unworldly — by no stretch of the imagination should she be someone capable of saying something so blunt.

Yet Xie Yuzhang, having grown up on the steppe witnessing the straightforward confessions between men and women and their blazing, tinder-dry passions, had long since become utterly unmoved by such matters. She saw nothing unusual in it, and simply kept her gaze fixed on Li Weifeng.

Li Weifeng waved his hand: “Don’t talk nonsense. She is an unmarried young woman. Though she is getting on in years, she still hasn’t married.”

Xie Yuzhang let out a long, slow breath of relief.

Li Weifeng paused, and then felt a flicker of dissatisfaction: “Yongning, what do you mean by that?”

Xie Yuzhang said: “I hold no objection to Seventh Elder Brother personally. It is only that I heard from Second Elder Brother about your happy news long ago. Your honored wife and I have known each other since childhood. The Zhang Family has been illustrious for four generations — reaching your honored wife, it is already the fifth. Their roots run deep in Yunjing, and she is truly well-matched to Seventh Elder Brother in every way, the most compatible of partners.”

As for my poor, frail elder sister Dahu — please take yourself far away from her. May Zhang Fen never come anywhere near her!

In the former life, it was precisely because someone like Zhang Fen had presided over the rear palace that her beloved Dahu elder sister had been ground down until her lamp ran dry and she had passed away so young!

At the mention of Zhang Fen, Li Weifeng couldn’t even be bothered to speak.

Since the repeated failures in their marital bed, Zhang Fen no longer even made any fuss demanding that he come home — she had sent two sturdy-bottomed maidservants, clearly good childbearing material, to Li Weifeng’s outside residence, telling Li Weifeng to hurry up and produce a son for her to raise.

But if Li Weifeng were not trying to produce a legitimate heir, why would he have gone on suffering defeat after defeat against Zhang Fen, yet persevered defeat after defeat? He immediately sent both maidservants back!

The two of them became even more estranged after the incident. His father-in-law came to mediate several times, to no avail at all — not only was his son-in-law impossible to manage, but so was his daughter — and in exasperation he simply gave up managing them.

With no elders pressuring them, Li Weifeng and Zhang Fen were each set free in a way. Everyone lived as they pleased, and it was quite pleasant.

Only in the dead of night, when he thought of the person in Xie Family Village, would he wake in a state of blankness, with a feeling on his heart that he could not put into words.

In this life, what does one actually want?

Why is it that with power and authority in hand and the emperor’s favor bestowed — one still feels so little joy?

—