The woman patted Shen Ruoxi on the shoulder. “Ruo Xi, this is not an order I am giving you — it comes from above. We are both women; I have no desire to make things difficult for you. But since we have entered this line of work, our lives have long since ceased to belong to us. You have your ties, and I have my own burdens. Neither of us has ever been truly free. What is more, the poison in our bodies has yet to be neutralized. As long as we remain here, we must obey the orders from above. The cost of resistance is more than we can bear.”

The reasoning the woman set out was something Shen Ruoxi understood perfectly. She could not resist — this was a fate she could not escape.

~

After leaving the hospital, Xie Yan did not return to his own residence. Instead, he went to the apartment building belonging to Hong Jie.

When Hong Jie saw him, she was surprised yet not entirely unprepared. She said nothing and simply handed Xie Yan the string of keys that Shen Ruoxi had returned to her.

The place where Shen Ruoxi had stayed had long since been tidied to spotless cleanliness, but her clothes still hung neatly in the wardrobe. She had left in a great hurry, taking only a few personal belongings. Even with her gone, her presence lingered in every corner of the room.

Xie Yan sat on the edge of the bed and reached out to light a cigarette.

His hand had not yet recovered, so he had to use his left hand to press the lighter. Even this simple motion took him several attempts before the cigarette was lit.

Xie Yan took a long drag, then exhaled slowly, watching a smoke ring drift upward.

In the past, he had never known what it felt like to miss someone. Only now did he discover that when a person leaves, they take with them more than just themselves — they leave behind a vast hollow in the heart, a place where the wind seems to blow straight through with a cold, empty howl.

He could not help lying back on the bed, staring up at the white ceiling. But when he lay down, even the pillow was saturated with her scent.

Just as Xie Yan was steeped in restless irritation, he caught sight of a painting on the wall. Driven by a sudden instinct, he swiftly pulled himself up from the bed.

This painting had hung there for years without ever being moved.

He had wanted to throw it away on several occasions, yet had always stopped himself in some inexplicable way — telling himself it was only a painting.

Xie Yan lifted the painting from the wall and turned it over. On the back were the private thoughts he had hidden there years ago. There he had drawn his family, with their names written beneath each figure.

Now he noticed that the small figures’ hands had all been linked together, and someone had playfully drawn a large smiling face, with a row of small characters written alongside: In the next life, we shall still be family!

In the next life, we shall still be family!

Xie Yan suddenly pressed the painting face-down and looked away. A ring of red rose in the corners of his eyes.

When he had painted this, the thought in his heart had been: if there is a next life, he will surely be together with them again — he will still be their little fourth son, and they will still be a family.

But will there be a next life?

Shen Ruoxi — do you think there will be a next life?

Just then, someone knocked at the door.

He composed himself, restored his expression to its usual coolness, and said evenly, “Who is it?”

There was no answer from outside, and the knocking did not come again.

He could have taken it for someone knocking on the wrong door, or for a child playing a prank — but he suddenly strode toward the entrance and threw the door open.

The person standing in the doorway seemed to freeze for a moment upon seeing him. Then, very quickly, she curved her lips and flashed a smile that was not quite a smile. “So you are here.”

Xie Yan’s pupils dilated sharply, and he nearly growled the words out: “Why haven’t you left?”

“I forgot something.” Shen Ruoxi said. “I’ll just get it and go.”

“What thing is more important than your life?” Xie Yan seized her wrist in his grip. “Dai Jing will expose your identity soon. If you don’t run, what awaits you will be an utterly wretched fate. Do you know how the intelligence bureau treats spies? Do you know what happens to women who fall into their hands?”

“I know.” Shen Ruoxi looked at him steadily. “I knew it from the moment I entered this work. I even witnessed it with my own eyes.”

Xie Yan drew in a deep breath. “What did you forget? Take it and leave quickly — I’ll have Gui Shou escort you. No matter what, you must leave Shun Cheng today.”

Shen Ruoxi only looked at him, saying nothing.

“Shen Ruoxi, are you deaf? Take your things and get out of here — do you hear me?…”

Before Xie Yan could finish, he went completely still, because Shen Ruoxi had already wound her arms around his neck, and her soft lips had found his.

She kissed him, trying to learn from how he did it — trying to coax his lips apart. When she found she could not manage it no matter how hard she tried, she felt a moment of frustration.

But she did not give up. She pressed on with greater effort, until he was won over, and he shifted from passive to active.

Xie Yan pulled her into his arms and kicked the door shut.

The two of them soon became entangled, warming each other, burning together — with a fierce intensity that made it feel like the end of the world, or as though the next moment would be the last.

After some time had passed, Xie Yan propped himself up on one arm, looking down at her. Her eyes were hazy, her lips glistened and moist, like a field of rice freshly nourished by spring rain.

She was utterly exhausted, yet she still lifted her gaze to meet his, searching for her own reflection in the depths of his dark eyes.

“Shen Ruoxi, you said you forgot something important…”

“I forgot to say goodbye to you.” Shen Ruoxi looked at him and then slowly raised her hand to gently caress his face. “Xie Yan, I really have brought this upon myself.”

Xie Yan’s gaze became complex. The fist resting by her side gradually clenched.

“If I had never exploited you from the start, had never deliberately gone out of my way to provoke you, perhaps I would still be able to walk away from all of this unscathed.” Shen Ruoxi gave a bitter laugh. “You are my reckoning, Xie Yan — a fate I cannot escape, a tribulation I cannot overcome.”

“Shen Ruoxi, what do you mean?” Xie Yan seemed to wring the words out from between his teeth.

“Nothing.” Shen Ruoxi shook her head. “Xie Yan, have you ever loved anyone?”

Xie Yan said nothing.

“Have you? Have you ever been in love?” she persisted, continuing to press him.

Xie Yan said, “What counts as love?”

Shen Ruoxi thought for a moment. “To be honest, I don’t really know what counts as love either. That’s why I’m asking you.”

“Nonsense — how would I know if you’re asking me?”

“But you’ve had so many women before…”

“Playing a part, and physical need — do you understand?” Xie Yan snorted coldly. “They were nothing more than convenient instruments, all of them.”

Those women — he couldn’t even remember a single name. Even when they used every trick they knew to please him and tried to linger at his side a little longer, his interest in them would be entirely worn away within a matter of days.

“And me?” Shen Ruoxi asked sincerely.

The question actually gave Xie Yan pause. But he only thought for a moment before saying, “You’re different from them.”

“How are you different?”

Yes — how were they different?

Xie Yan could not come up with an answer for a moment, so he said stubbornly, “You’re just different. That’s all.”

Shen Ruoxi laughed. “Every time you run out of logic, you say that.”

“As if you know me so well.”

“That’s true — I don’t know you at all. You always surprise me. You clearly could have killed me, yet you turned back to save me. You knew we were enemies, yet you chose to let me go…” She rested her hand on his still-bandaged right hand. “Xie Yan, was it worth it? Crippling your hand for someone like me.”

Xie Yan snorted. “One hand is still enough to satisfy you!”

Shen Ruoxi stared at him. “…”

She suddenly had the distinct feeling she was playing a lute for an ox.

“Xie Yan.”

“Mm?”

“Take care of yourself from now on. Don’t drink so much. Don’t smoke so much. Keep yourself in check in your personal life too. Always bring Mu Bai when you go out. Don’t trust anyone easily. Don’t touch food or drink given to you by others…”

Xie Yan suddenly fixed her with a sharp look and seized her shoulder with one hand. “Shen Ruoxi, what are you saying all of this for?”

“You fool.” Shen Ruoxi caressed his face, her eyes gradually growing wet. “You trust me so easily? I bait you, and you take the hook? Xie Yan, if I wanted to harm you, you would already be dead right now.”

Xie Yan stared at her, and repeated once more: “Shen Ruoxi — what do you mean?”

“Nothing. Just reminding you that from here on, be careful about everything. The organization will not easily give up on eliminating you. Your existence is an enormous threat to them. They only want you dead… so take care of yourself. Stop trusting others — especially women.”

“Shen Ruoxi, they told you to come kill me, didn’t they?” Xie Yan said urgently. “Your latest mission is to kill me — isn’t it?”

Shen Ruoxi only looked at him with gentle eyes and said nothing. But her silence was the best answer there was.

“I know you are an expert in poisons. The death of Qiao Da Hu — that was your doing, wasn’t it?”

Shen Ruoxi did not deny it.

“Poisoning me would be effortless for you… yet I haven’t eaten anything you gave me.” Xie Yan finished speaking, then his expression abruptly darkened. “You hid the poison in your mouth!”

Shen Ruoxi smiled. “So — don’t trust anyone. Especially women.”

“Shen Ruoxi… what are you trying to do?”

Shen Ruoxi shook her head. “Xie Yan, I have no regrets about meeting you. Thank you for the memories you gave me. If there is a next life… let us not meet again.”

“Shen…” Xie Yan had barely spoken one syllable when his vision suddenly blurred and his body lurched sideways.

Shen Ruoxi sat up from the bed. Her soft palm gently caressed his face, and the tenderness in her eyes seemed to overflow like warm flowing water.

Xie Yan strained to see her clearly, but his vision grew hazier with every passing moment. All strength drained from his body — he could not speak, could not even move a finger.

Shen Ruoxi bent down and pressed a light kiss to his forehead, then stepped away, unable to tear herself from him.

“Thank you, Xie Yan.”

“Goodbye, Xie Yan.”

Don’t go, Shen Ruoxi. Don’t go. Please don’t go — I’m begging you. Please don’t go… Shen Ruoxi.

Xie Yan’s throat felt raw as if he were screaming it, yet not a single sound escaped. He had never felt so powerless in his life. The sensation of fighting desperately to hold on while being utterly unable to act was driving him to the edge of madness.

But that anguish could only torment him for a moment before the darkness swept in like a tide and pulled him swiftly under.

—