Dear ladies, handsome gentlemen, and fellow demon colleagues with magnificent horns, gorgeous scaled skin, and rainbow-colored seven-hued eyes,

After a long period of sleepless nights and painstaking effort, my lower part of “A Destined Grudging Couple” has finally been completed successfully. Here, I want to especially thank Mr. Xin Xiong for his wholehearted assistance. Without him tirelessly helping me organize my thoughts again and again, allowing me to touch the hem of the divine muse’s robes in despair, everyone wouldn’t be able to see a brand new lower part of “Grudging Couple” today.

Additionally, I want to thank many others, such as Brother Tao Guoguo who often tears up my scripts, making me rediscover my feelings, and Miss Yinglian who recently strongly demanded I change the male and female leads into a bear demon and lotus spirit, as well as Mr. Si Lan who torments my spirit daily with harsh words, and—the source of inspiration for the entire story, Miss Xin Mei.

Without all of you destroying and tormenting me spiritually and physically, there would be no brand new “A Destined Grudging Couple” today! And no reborn Master Zhao who has surpassed himself!

I still have so much more to say…

“—Shut up, old fool!”

A bag of melon seed shells covered Master Zhao’s head, followed by loquat pits, watermelon rinds, teacups, straw shoes and such flying onto the stage. Master Zhao rolled backstage with a bruised and swollen face. The lanterns on stage extinguished one by one, and the puppet Xiao Mei with painted eyebrows and graceful demeanor floated into view.

Before her eyes were rolling white waves—in the previous part, Xiao Mei, heartbroken by the General, intended to jump into the river to end her life.

Before jumping into the river, she first had to strike a proper pose, swaying her sleeves and tottering as she spun twice, then facing the towering white waves, she sang a mournful love poem in heartbroken despair.

“Qianqiao, I’ll wait for you beneath a thousand fathoms—when water comes, I’ll wait for you in the water. When fire comes, I’ll wait for you in the ashes…”

With a sweep of her long sleeves covering her devastatingly beautiful face, her exquisite figure traced a poignant arc through the air—she jumped! (Xin Mei turned back and spat out melon seed shells: A female lead who chatters endlessly before dying and still doesn’t forget to strike a pose—nine times out of ten, she won’t succeed in dying.)

At the critical moment, suddenly the melodious cry of birds of paradise came from the horizon. Golden light flickered, and an indescribably handsome young man flew through the air, spinning once in mid-air, then again, reaching out to catch the suicidal Xiao Mei in his arms, continuing to spin like a top as he landed on the shore. (Lu Qianqiao crushed a walnut: Who bought the new puppet?! Who allowed you to make the Great Monk so beautiful?!)

“Miss, life is short—timely pleasure is what matters. Nothing sad in this world is worth ending your life over.”

The Great Monk lovingly brushed the hair from her forehead.

Xiao Mei in his arms stared blankly at his divine countenance, her heart racing, dazed and confused: “There’s actually such a devastatingly handsome man in this world…”

Her dazed expression caused the Great Monk to smile charmingly, lowering his head until their noses almost touched.

“Do you like what you see?” he asked.

(Xin Mei: Actually, he must be very ugly, right? That’s why he wears so many masks on his face, unwilling to face his true self—self-deception to this extent.)

Xiao Mei was startled back to her senses by his bold action, blushing shyly as she struggled desperately: “Let me go! Let me go!”

The Great Monk laughed heartily, restraining her thrashing body: “I am a monk devoted to cultivation, willing to listen to the sorrows in your heart. Come, come, let’s go to my carriage and talk.”

Without allowing resistance, he forcibly carried her onto a magnificent carriage.

Under the Great Monk’s half-coercive, half-tender offensive, Xiao Mei quickly revealed her heartache. The Great Monk couldn’t help but feel surprised and delighted—this was truly finding what he sought without effort. It turned out the Great Monk’s Fox Clan and the General’s War Ghost Clan had feuded for generations. Having been unable to find a breakthrough, now that the General’s woman had fallen into his hands, this was absolutely a heaven-sent opportunity.

The Great Monk harbored ulterior motives, treating Xiao Mei with utmost gentleness and care—personally arranging her hair, tying her clothes, placing flowers in her hair—such old tropes needn’t be mentioned. Once, when Xiao Mei fell ill and the doctor said there was no cure unless blessed by divine blood, the Great Monk unhesitatingly slit his wrist and bled a whole basin, which she drank and bathed in, finally pulling Xiao Mei back from the underworld. (Lu Qianqiao: Keep an eye on Master Zhao. If the Fox Clan people see this play someday, he’ll lose his life.)

Xiao Mei gradually sank into the Great Monk’s tender affection, and her heart devoted to the General finally began to waver. One day, the fox immortal and gossip immortal who heard that Xiao Mei had been abandoned by the General came searching for her, bringing news that broke Xiao Mei’s heart. It turned out the General, following his mother’s arrangements, would marry a certain War Ghost noble lady today—(Stage perspective switches to the General’s bridal chamber)

In the festively decorated, entirely red bridal chamber, the General was drinking ceremonial wine with his new bride. Voiceover: [Finally reached this step. Mother used Xiao Mei’s life to force me—I had no choice but to abandon my most beloved woman and marry a strange War Ghost. Hate me! Xiao Mei! I’d rather you hate me with every fiber of your being than forget me! To continue the perfect War Ghost bloodline, we cannot be so selfish… Though my body belongs to a strange War Ghost, my soul will forever be with you!]

Lifting the bride’s veil, in wild joy, he pushed her down and tore off her wedding dress… Candlelight swayed red, passion overturned, the General ravished his new bride a hundred times, oh a hundred times. A thousand li away, a peach blossom at Xiao Mei’s bedside quietly withered. (Lu Qianqiao: So in this play, I remain in a constant state of ravishing?)

The perspective switches again. Learning that the General had married someone new, Xiao Mei was struck down once more. In the middle of the night, wearing only a thin silk garment, half-drunk and half-dejected, she floated up to a high platform, once again spinning and sweeping her sleeves, preparing to jump from the building.

The Great Monk, pursuing closely behind, rescued her again, even clashing with the fox immortal and gossip immortal who came upon hearing the news. For a moment, white light flashed chaotically as the three fought desperately in mid-air. (Xin Mei: Besides being struck by lightning, does Lord Meishan have any other special abilities?)

The Great Monk was indeed formidable—fighting against multiple opponents, he beat the fox immortal and gossip immortal into torn rags, but was also severely wounded himself, barely breathing. Xiao Mei, with complex feelings, carefully tended to him. In the process of caring and being cared for, an affair developed.

“Marry me—I can give you a proper, honorable status! Forget that heartless General. If you can’t forget him, I’ll bring his head to bury your lingering fragile emotions.”

The Great Monk gripped Xiao Mei’s hand tightly, making a lifelong vow.

“I will love you for life, never leaving, never abandoning, never letting you be sad.”

Xiao Mei was torn with indecision. The Great Monk had no patience to wait longer, so—the lights dimmed, and a live performance of forceful conquest began.

“No! I don’t want this! If you… if you continue like this, I’ll scream for help!” Xiao Mei struggled desperately with feigned resistance.

“Go ahead and scream! Everyone here belongs to me—you can scream your throat raw and no one will come save you!”

The Great Monk tore her clothes.

Xiao Mei shed two lines of helpless, desperate tears, watching helplessly as her clothes became flying rags.

(Xin Mei: Why doesn’t she actually scream her throat raw?)

The Great Monk was well-versed in such matters, using his body to clearly demonstrate what meant three shallow and one deep, nine shallow and one deep, Guanyin sitting on lotus, embracing the moon in arms… such varied techniques. Xiao Mei transformed from resistance to submission, tearfully climaxing a hundred times, oh a hundred times, finally completely conquered from body to soul. (Lu Qianqiao: Am I overthinking this? Master Zhao really isn’t mocking me…?)

Xiao Mei, determined to forget the past, agreed to marry the Great Monk. The General, a thousand li away, somehow heard this news and flew into a rage for his beauty. Voiceover: [She lives as my person, dies as my ghost! I’d rather she hate me than let another man have her!]

The war between the Fox Clan and War Ghost Clan thus began. Fighting for that devastatingly beautiful woman, both sides battled fiercely with blood and flesh flying, countless casualties. (Master Zhao roared backstage: No more chicken blood! Quick! Splash out the prepared cinnabar! Cinnabar, cinnabar! Whoever uses chicken blood can go kill themselves!)

Xiao Mei was deeply saddened. Voiceover: [Ah, what a sinfully heavy woman I am! So many innocent people died because of me—how can I bear this burden? I shouldn’t have been born in this world. Without me, you wouldn’t slaughter each other. Yes, if only I didn’t exist! This time I must end it all! Definitely!]

Xiao Mei alone rushed to the war’s front lines, where two men were fighting to the death. Not having seen the General for many days, the moment she laid eyes on him, she shed tears of heartbroken despair mixed with wild joy and longing.

The General said: “Xiao Mei! I’ve already left bloodline descendants for the War Ghost Clan! From now on I’m free—come with me!”

The Great Monk said: “You’re already my wife—come home with me!”

Xiao Mei swallowed bitter tears, tearfully walking to the Great Monk’s side, turning back to smile at the General with devastating beauty: “Qianqiao, everything between us is over. You always made me wait for you, but now I’m tired and can’t wait anymore. Please let me go.”

With that, she supported the Great Monk and turned to leave.

In shocked fury, the General swung his long whip toward the emotionally stirred, completely unguarded Great Monk. Xiao Mei threw herself forward to shield him—the merciless whip severed her spine. Like a drifting small white flower, she spun many times in the wind with magical, phantom-like grace, finally landing on the ground with touching pathos.

“No—!”

The heartbroken voices of both men rang out simultaneously.

Crying filled the audience below—this climactic scene was Master Zhao’s masterpiece. He quietly poked his head out from backstage to see the General and Xin Mei’s reactions, only to discover the two center seats in the front row were actually empty!

Master Zhao turned pale with shock, grabbing a nearby demon: “Where’s the General?! When did he leave?”

The demon wiped tears while sobbing: “He left when blood flowed like rivers.”

Could this play have displeased the General again?! Master Zhao felt uneasy.

The two people causing his unease were huddled in the empty kitchen—Lu Qianqiao kneading dough in a basin while Xin Mei used the kneaded dough to make dumplings, both with flour-covered hands.

“It’s okay not to watch the ending?”

Lu Qianqiao felt somewhat ashamed. He hadn’t eaten much this morning, and his stomach had growled once, which Xin Mei happened to hear. She then forcibly dragged him to the kitchen to make food. He knew she loved watching puppet shows and often forgot to eat when reaching exciting parts.

“Too noisy—nothing worth watching.”

Xin Mei smiled as she shaped dough into a little white rabbit, holding it up to him proudly: “Look! Isn’t it pretty? I’ll steam this for you to eat.”

He smiled, hesitating a moment before also pinching off some dough to shape with effort, creating a tiger to give her: “Then this one’s for you.”

Xin Mei frowned, staring at it for a long time before saying: “This… turtle? Loach? Eh, quite… unique.”

“…”

Lu Qianqiao silently mashed up that pitiful tiger.

Xin Mei wiped her face, getting another bit of flour on it. Lu Qianqiao used his sleeve to wipe it off, but only made it whiter. Just as he was wondering whether to wash his hands, suddenly thunderous gongs, drums, and clanging sounds erupted from the distant stage—probably reaching the climax. Waves of crying from the demons occasionally drifted over.

She giggled: “It’s so noisy outside—good thing we hid away.”

With that, she rubbed flour all over her hands, then clapped them together with a “smack” around his face. The two messy faces looked at each other for a moment before she burst into laughter.

“Mischievous.”

Lu Qianqiao’s lips curved upward as he flicked her forehead.

Outside the noise continued—people fighting, crying, laughing, making a ruckus. But none of this had anything to do with them anymore. Let the outside world be chaotic—love, hate, passion, resentment, tribal conflicts, fallen kingdoms and ruined families—none compared to the momentary joy of dumplings they made together being cooked in the pot.

Those were other people’s stories now, nothing to do with them, nothing to do with the Imperial Tomb.

“…Xin Mei, you’ve already eaten thirty dumplings.”

“I’m still not full.”

“…We only made thirty total.”

“Uh…”

“Continue making them?”

“Sure, let’s continue. This time you eat first.”

…

Master Zhao, hiding outside the window, let out a long breath and wiped cold sweat from his forehead. Suddenly struck by inspiration—decided! He’d immediately start writing the lower-lower part of “A Destined Grudging Couple”!

A love affair and bloody case triggered by a single dumpling!