In the eyes of the newly ascended spirit ghosts, Lord Meishan was a fairly steady and reliable master. Aside from occasionally having fits, getting drunk and crying out some unknown person’s name, he was quite good the rest of the time—at least he could be described as proud as a lean plum blossom.

Basically, Meishan was a master the newly ascended spirit ghosts could be proud of. Though Meishan Residence couldn’t compare to those great sects, visitors seeking his services came in an endless stream daily, most asking him to investigate various secrets.

Lord Meishan didn’t accept gold, silver, pearls, or jade for his services—visitors could only succeed by defeating him in drinking capacity. Except for having to drag out a pile of thoroughly drunk visitors every day, the daily life at Meishan Residence was quite peaceful and tranquil.

This peace and tranquility ended on a certain dusk.

It was a gorgeous dusk with forests dyed in layers of color and fire clouds blazing. A massive and ugly pelican silently landed on the wooden bridge blooming with red and white flowers, startling the gatekeeper spirit ghost so much his jaw dropped.

A young lady jumped down from the pelican’s back, wearing a light purple silk dress. She was tall and slender with elegant bearing—an exceptionally beautiful woman. The gatekeeper spirit ghosts changed shifts yearly, so no one recognized her. Seeing her walking toward the gate with a smile, they had no choice but to stop her.

“It’s getting late. If the young lady has business, please come early tomorrow.”

The beauty smiled slightly and handed over a large food box: “Then please trouble yourself to take this food box to Lord Meishan. I haven’t come to see the old gentleman for two or three years. The box contains two or three years’ worth of moon cakes, rice dumplings, pastries, and steamed buns that I owe him. Tell him to eat slowly—I’ll come see him again when I have time.”

She said two or three years—could she be an old acquaintance of Lord Meishan?

The spirit ghosts didn’t dare be negligent; someone had already gone in to report. At that time, Lord Meishan had just finished drinking with the last visitor and was refreshingly rinsing his mouth with tea while instructing the spirit ghosts to throw out the drunkard, saying disdainfully: “These useless things can’t even drink two jars of wine yet dare come seek my help. Strip them all naked and throw them out to teach them a lesson.”

Seeing the gatekeeper spirit ghost holding a huge food box and standing dazed at the door, he frowned.

“You’re not properly guarding the gate—what are you doing hugging that broken box?”

With that, he walked over and casually lifted the box lid. Inside were several rows of quite nice-looking steamed buns and pastries arranged neatly. He grabbed a vegetable bun and stuffed it in his mouth, beaming with joy as he praised: “Tastes good! Who sent this?”

“Oh, a beautiful woman. She said she hasn’t seen you for two or three years, so she’s making up for all the steamed buns, rice dumplings, moon cakes and such from those two or three years…”

The half-eaten vegetable bun fell to the ground with a “plop.” Lord Meishan became flustered and panic-stricken, first snatching that huge food box, then picking up the vegetable bun. With nowhere to put it and in desperation, he could only balance the food box on his head and run wildly to the main gate without his feet touching the ground.

In the evening sunset’s afterglow, his beloved young lady whom he hadn’t seen for so long hadn’t left yet. Just like when she first visited Meishan Residence years ago, she was leaning against the wooden bridge’s railing, watching the carp blowing bubbles below.

Lord Meishan’s tears poured forth like a tide, instantly soaking his clothes.

“Lord Meishan!”

Xin Mei waved at him in a friendly manner and walked over with a smile. She was much more composed than when she was in her teens, no longer running and jumping around, but that carefree, sweet smile on her face hadn’t changed at all. No matter how chaotic the outside world became, Xin Mei remained Xin Mei—a carefree and refreshing little melody in troubled times.

“You’ve gotten thin again, just skin and bones. I heard many places are at war now, with grain and supplies extremely expensive. Even the Gossip Immortal can’t get enough to eat?”

She looked him up and down, and wherever her gaze fell, Lord Meishan would shake like a sieve.

“The things in that food box are meant to be eaten.” Seeing him treating the food box with reverence, balancing it on his head, Xin Mei couldn’t help but blink sympathetically. These times were too difficult—a few steamed buns and moon cakes made him so happy he wanted to worship them. “How about I help you cook some meals?”

“Good… good…”

Lord Meishan’s voice sounded like a chicken with its neck being strangled—thin and shrill. His whole body was stiff, balancing the food box and shaking with each step as he led Xin Mei inside, tears streaming all the way.

Xin Mei comforted him: “Don’t rush, don’t cry, I’ll cook right away.”

…

The gatekeeper spirit ghosts carefully helped their dropped jaws back up. They heard there was a rather senior spirit ghost in Meishan Residence who specialized in sweeping and tending the bamboo grove. They decided to find time tonight to ask him about this matter properly.

The kitchen was still the same kitchen, the tofu was still the same tofu. Xin Mei rolled up her sleeves, washed her hands, picked up the kitchen knife, and turned back to ask: “Lord Meishan, do you still want to eat Tofu Meishan?”

Lord Meishan trembled all over: “Can… can… can I eat… eat Tofu Xin Mei?”

Ah, all these years of training had indeed been useful—he could finally say such bold words! Lord Meishan shyly covered his face.

Xin Mei replied without hesitation: “Sure.”

…Dear heavens! This absolutely wasn’t a dream, was it? It wasn’t, was it?! If this was a dream, then let him never wake up for his entire life!

As it turned out, Xin Mei made four tofu sculptures that day: Tofu Meishan, Tofu Xin Mei, Tofu Fu Jiuyun, and Tofu Zhen Hongsheng. Lord Meishan watched numbly as she wielded her chopsticks like flying dancers, quick-eyed and swift-handed, ruthlessly grabbing three heads and putting them in his bowl while saying: “Lord Meishan, these are the heads of you and your friends, for you to eat.”

…How enchanting.

He gritted his teeth and gnawed the other two men’s heads to pieces, constantly glancing at Tofu Xin Mei from the corner of his eye. He wanted to reach out with his chopsticks but felt somewhat embarrassed. No matter which part he ate, it made his heart race, as if he were really taking liberties with her.

While he hesitated and dawdled, that tofu was eaten up by Xin Mei herself. Lord Meishan turned away to wipe away his tears of deep regret.

“I haven’t been out wandering for a long time—I didn’t know the outside world had changed so much. When I went to Chongling Valley today, even Brother Dahu had become a steward and gotten married.”

After all, he was the first man who caught her eye. Learning he had married, Xin Mei felt somewhat regretful—what a beauty of a man…

“Brother Dahu said the Fox Immortal is in secluded cultivation and won’t come out for this lifetime. Is that true?”

Lord Meishan was stunned: “When immortals go into seclusion, it’s at least a hundred years, at most several hundred years. How could he not come out for a lifetime?”

Xin Mei’s face fell: “After a hundred years, I’ll long be dead.”

So “not coming out for this lifetime” referred to her lifetime.

After all these years, Lord Meishan seemed to suddenly realize that his beloved young lady was a mortal while he was an immortal. Several hundred years to him were like a white horse passing a crevice—just a blink of an eye. To her, she might have been reincarnated several lifetimes.

He swallowed the tofu with difficulty and hastily declared his feelings: “Little… little Mei, even if you become white-haired and wrinkled, I’ll still like you!”

Xin Mei was deeply moved: “Lord Meishan… you’re truly a good person. I want to be good friends with you in my next life too!”

“Good… good friends…?”

“And good friends in the life after next too!”

“Uh, good… good…”

Struck by both the friend card and the good person card until tears streamed down his face, Lord Meishan could only bury his head and eat voraciously. This enchanting yet painful meal once again made his belly round as a ball, leaving him groaning in pain as he collapsed in his chair.

Xin Mei familiarly went outside to bathe and change clothes in the hot springs. When she returned, he had already put on loose outer robes to cover his belly and struck his most handsome and elegant pose, leaning rakishly under the crabapple tree with a jade flute in his hand, long hair flowing and robes fluttering as he looked up at the moon.

“Little Mei, since you’re here, make yourself at home. You can stay at Meishan Residence as long as you want.”

He gave the jade flute a graceful twirl and smiled dashingly at her: “Please don’t be polite.”

Xin Mei smiled slightly: “Alright then, I’ll stay for a while.”

…Huh? So smoothly? So smooth that Lord Meishan himself felt something was off. Speaking of which, Little Mei had visited Meishan Residence a few times before, but each time she either left immediately after delivering things or came with that terrifying War Ghost General. What was different this time?

He rolled his eyes and probed tentatively: “That… the General, how is he lately?”

Xin Mei’s face instantly darkened, her voice flat: “Oh, how could he not be fine.”

Looking at her expression, it seemed the two had quarreled. Lord Meishan was immediately overjoyed, the jade flute in his hand spinning like a windmill as he quickly changed the subject: “Tonight’s moonlight is so wonderful, and the long night stretches endlessly with no desire for sleep. Little Mei, why don’t we chat about life ideals and such?”

“Let’s talk tomorrow—I’m tired. Lord Meishan should also remember to sleep early. I’ll make you breakfast tomorrow morning.”

Xin Mei waved at him and turned to enter the guest room.

Lord Meishan couldn’t suppress his excitement, lifting his robes as he ran wildly and jumped about. Whenever he encountered a spirit ghost, he would shout: “Did you hear that? She’s going to make me breakfast! Breakfast!”

“Waking up to the fragrance of food in the morning—that’s a privilege only a husband can enjoy!”

“Little Mei is going to personally make me breakfast—!”

Several spirit ghosts hiding in the bamboo grove and secretly gossiping poked their heads out to look: “Master seems to have gone crazy.”

The most senior spirit ghost picked his nose with complete composure: “Don’t mind him—he’ll be crying and running away in a few days. Let’s continue talking about his tearful unrequited love history…”

That night, Lord Meishan had the happiest dream of his life. He dreamed he took Xin Mei as his disciple and taught her cultivation methods, so he never again had to fear the vast gulf between mortals and immortals. The two spent day and night together, gradually developing feelings, finally performing a earth-shaking forbidden master-disciple romance before all the gods and demons of heaven.