1. Please state your name.
Little Yu: (Cold face, silent)
Little Meng: Meng Tinghui. (Looking at the questioner) You dare to ask the Emperor’s name?
Parent: … (Apparently this person hasn’t learned from the bloody lesson of interviewing Huanxi last time)
2. How old are you?
Little Yu: Twenty-eight.
Little Meng: Twenty-two.
Parent: Why isn’t there a generation gap between you two?
3. What is your gender?
Little Yu: …
Little Meng: …
Parent: …
4. How would you describe your personality?
Little Yu: (Continues with cold silence)
Little Meng: The opposite of his.
Parent: So what is his personality?
Little Meng: The opposite of mine.
Parent: …
5. How would you describe your partner’s personality?
Little Yu: (Somewhat annoyed, his right hand habitually reaches for memorials on the desk)
Little Meng: (Glances at Little Yu, then turns to the questioner) Do you have fresher questions? If not, you may leave the hall.
Parent: … (These two are giving me face, still willing to sit here. I’m moved to tears)
6. When and where did you two first meet?
Little Yu: Rainy night. Ruined temple.
Little Meng: On a rainy night of the Yi-hai day in the tenth month of autumn in the 14th year of Qiande, at a ruined temple five li east of Chongzhou City in Northern Chao’an.
Parent: (Picking fingers) It was actually on the night of Ding-mao day in the third month of spring in the 6th year of Qiande, at a celebration banquet at the Marquis Zheng’s mansion in the capital… Little Meng, you were just born then and don’t remember, so you’ve been deceived by Little Yu.
7. What was your first impression of each other?
Little Yu: Disheveled, couldn’t tell if male or female.
Little Meng: Life-saving benefactor.
Parent: (Still picking fingers) Little Yu, you thought that baby girl in swaddling clothes was cute back then, and even agreed to let her be your Crown Prince’s consort… Of course, Little Meng, you still don’t remember.
8. What do you like about your partner?
Little Yu: (Finally puts down the memorial in hand, raising eyebrows and looking intently) Wholeheartedly devoted.
Little Meng: (Smiles slightly) Single-minded.
Parent: (Wiping tears)
9. What do you dislike about your partner?
Little Yu: Always thinking about me in everything.
Little Meng: Never thinking about himself in anything.
Parent: You two are hard to please…
10. Do you think you are compatible with your partner?
Little Yu: …
Little Meng: (Blinks) What does this question mean?
Parent: (With black lines over head) Actually, I don’t understand the question either. Can someone enlighten me…
11. How do you address your partner?
Little Yu: Meng Tinghui.
Little Meng: Your Highness… Your Majesty… You.
Parent: I must clarify, it’s not that I don’t give them intimate nicknames, it’s just that whatever I come up with sounds awkward… >O<
12. How do you wish to be addressed by your partner?
Little Yu: You.
Little Meng: Meng Tinghui.
Parent: Hahahahaha, I’m brilliant!
13. If you were to compare your partner to an animal, what would it be?
Little Yu: …
Little Meng: … Dragon.
Parent: Asking the Emperor this kind of question is really… Little Meng, you most want to say “beast,” right? Wahaha.
14. If you were to give a gift to your partner, what would it be?
Little Yu: (Expressionless) I will give her whatever she wants. Including myself.
Little Meng: (Secretly glancing at Little Yu) Myself.
Parent: Let me count, Little Yu, you’ve given Little Meng small wooden boxes, earrings, paintings… carriages, houses, name, profit… and the position of Empress, territories… and yourself… Little Meng, you seem to have only given yourself… You two are the couple with the greatest wealth gap in history, tsk tsk.
15. Then what gift would you like to receive?
Little Yu: (Still expressionless) Her.
Little Meng: (Still secretly glancing at Little Yu, fidgeting with her clothes) Nothing else.
Parent: …
16. Do you have any complaints about your partner? What are they usually about?
Little Yu: Too considerate of me.
Little Meng: (Deep in thought, silent)
Parent: The Emperor is perfect and invincible.
17. What are your flaws?
Little Yu: (Reaches for memorials again)
Little Meng: Too many to list.
Parent: I’ve already said the Emperor is perfect and invincible… (Even if there are flaws, I won’t tell you, hmph)
18. What are your partner’s flaws?
Little Yu: (Opens a memorial and starts reading)
Little Meng: You should leave the hall now.
Parent: Hey, whoever you are, you have no tact. Change the question quickly.
19. What does your partner do that displeases you?
Little Yu: (Looking up) Thinking of me, but hiding things from me.
Little Meng: Things that ruin his reputation.
Parent: Little Meng, you’re overthinking… >O<
20. What do you do that displeases your partner?
Little Yu: (Lowers eyes to look at memorials again)
Little Meng: … Hiding things from him.
Parent: I dare say, Little Meng, you’re the person in this world who fears the crime of deceiving the Emperor the least… >O<
21. What stage has your relationship reached?
Little Yu: Emperor and Empress.
Little Meng: (Still fidgeting with clothes) Husband and wife.
Parent: Aha, Little Meng, you’re embarrassed… Little Yu, don’t just sit there showing off your authority, be more approachable, will you?
22. Where was your first date?
Little Yu: Eastern Palace.
Little Meng: Night market.
Parent: You two have such different perceptions of your first date…! Indeed, women are romantic and men are beasts. (Crowd: Who says that’s indeed the case? Parent: Me.)
23. What was the atmosphere like then?
Little Yu: (Face changes slightly, but remains silent)
Little Meng: It felt a bit unreal.
Parent: Wahaha, Little Yu, you must be thinking of the dirty thoughts in your head back then… Wahahahahaha.
24. How far did you go at that time?
Little Yu: (Continues silence)
Little Meng: Ruler and subject.
Parent: (Continues laughing wildly)
25. Where do you often go for dates?
Little Yu: Xihua Palace.
Little Meng: … Xihua Palace.
Parent: Well, CC girl once said: Tonight in Xihua Palace, Xihua Palace… Ahem.
26. What preparations do you make for your partner’s birthday?
Little Yu: …
Little Meng: …
Parent: Do we need to ask this question? Everyone knows, no need to make it explicit. … >O<
27. Who confessed first?
Little Yu: She did.
Little Meng: … He did.
Parent: (Black lines) Little Meng, although you didn’t say it out loud back then, wasn’t your “taboo name” a confession? Compared to that, Little Yu’s confession in the West Mountain hot spring was much more straightforward and dominating.
28. How much do you like your partner?
Little Yu: When I love, the empire and the world bear witness.
Little Meng: Willing to give my life.
Parent: (Shrugs) Classic lines, I’m so talented, tsk tsk.
29. So, do you love your partner?
Little Yu: (Raises an eyebrow, reaches for another memorial)
Little Meng: (Moves imperceptibly closer to Little Yu)
Parent: The Emperor and Empress’s private words won’t be told to you, only I, the parent, can hear them, wahaha.
30. What does your partner say that makes you feel helpless?
Little Yu: What she says when drunk.
Little Meng: He’s not the type to threaten people with words.
Parent: Nodding, he’s always been the type to threaten with actions… So Little Yu, you haven’t let Little Meng drink for many years… >O<
31. If you suspect your partner is being unfaithful, what would you do?
Little Yu: Impossible.
Little Meng: Don’t know.
Little Yu: (Frowns and glances at Little Meng)
Little Meng: (Quickly speaks up, determined tone) He would never be unfaithful.
Parent: Wahahahahahaha.
32. Can you forgive your partner for being unfaithful?
Little Yu: (Slightly impatient) I already said it’s impossible.
Little Meng: Yes, absolutely impossible.
Parent: Little Meng, you’re obedient… >O<
33. What would you do if your partner is more than an hour late for a date?
Little Yu: Continue reviewing memorials and wait for her.
Little Meng: Go to sleep first.
Parent: You two are so rational… >O<… But anyway, your date locations are either Xihua Palace or Ruisi Hall, not much to fuss about.
35. What expression of your partner is sexy?
Little Yu: (Closes the memorial forcefully, his eyes darkening slightly, looking at Little Meng)
Little Meng: (Pretends to look down)
Parent: I know what Little Yu wants to do most right now is to carry Little Meng back to Xihua Palace… Wahaha.
36. When together, when does your heart beat fastest?
Little Yu: When she’s looking at me attentively.
Little Meng: (Thinks for a long time, face slightly red) When in bed.
Parent: Well, the heart beats fastest during exercise, that’s science.
38. When do you feel happiest?
Little Yu: Just having her by my side makes me happy.
Little Meng: (Face still red) Still in bed.
Parent: I can understand, only in bed do you feel like you completely possess him, right? Haha, hahaha.
39. Have you ever quarreled?
Little Yu: (Fingers caressing the edge of a memorial)
Little Meng: Yes.
Parent: Let me recall… Your quarrels don’t count as true quarrels, do they?
40. What do you quarrel about?
Little Yu: (Gaze turns cold, not wanting to continue this topic)
Little Meng: Forgotten.
Parent: Little Meng, you cooperate with your Emperor… >O<
41. How do you make up afterward?
Little Yu: …
Little Meng: Already said I’ve forgotten.
Parent: I know, but I dare not say. (Secretly whispering to others: Have you forgotten how their first time happened? Yes, that time… Wahaha.)
42. If reincarnated, would you still want to be lovers?
Little Yu: Yes.
Little Meng: Yes.
Parent: Anyway, I won’t write about your next life… >O<
43. When do you feel loved?
Little Yu: Always.
Little Meng: Always.
Parent: I always feel this question makes me think sideways… Your answers make me think even more sideways…
44. How do you express your love?
Little Yu: Fulfilling her wishes.
Little Meng: Willing to do anything for him.
Parent: Little Yu, you heard that, right? You can try new locations and new methods in the future… I’ll have new material to write about… >O< (Crowd: Someyan, you’re WS!)
45. When would you think “he/she doesn’t love me anymore”?
Little Yu: …
Little Meng: …
Parent: The questioner wants to be executed.
46. What flower do you think suits your partner?
Little Yu: (Getting impatient again)
Little Meng: No flower suits him.
Parent: I don’t know many flowers… >O<
47. Do you keep secrets from each other?
Little Yu: (Expressionless, silent)
Little Meng: No.
Parent: Tsk tsk, actually Little Yu has several small secrets he hasn’t told you, but you’ll know eventually, wahaha. (Crowd: When will we know? Parent: You’ll know in the epilogue and extras… >O<)
48. Where does your sense of inferiority come from?
Little Yu: …
Little Meng: In the past, it was because of the vast difference in status and position, but not anymore.
Parent: Little Meng, from the moment you were born, you were destined to be his woman, nothing to feel inferior about! As for the Emperor, I doubt if you can understand the word “inferiority”… >O<
49. Is your relationship public or secret?
Little Yu: …
Little Meng: …
Parent: (Asking kindly) Do you think the relationship between Emperor and Empress is public or secret?
50. Do you think your love for each other can last forever?
Little Yu: (Silent for a moment, suddenly pulls Little Meng up and walks toward the back of the hall)
Little Meng: (No time to answer before being embraced away)
Parent: (Summarizing seriously) So love isn’t about talking, it’s about doing. (Crowd: Someyan, can you be any more WS? Little Yu pulled Little Meng away because he couldn’t stand these mushy questions! Parent: I’m wronged…)
51. Are you the top or the bottom?
Little Yu: …
Little Meng: …
Parent: Isn’t this question too difficult for ancient people?
52. How was this decided?
Little Yu: …
Little Meng: …
Parent: Of course, it was decided by the universe-level brilliant parent, me!
53. Are you satisfied with the current situation?
Little Yu: …
Little Meng: …
Parent: Very satisfied!
54. Where was your first time?
Little Yu: …
Little Meng: …
Parent: (Seeing these two still confused, finally has a conscience and sidles over to whisper an explanation to Little Meng, then quickly retreats)
Little Meng: (Sudden realization, leans over to whisper something to Little Yu)
Little Yu: (Eyebrow twitches slightly, face calm) Eastern Palace.
Little Meng: (Face red) Eastern Palace.
Parent: (Wiping sweat, I was scared, so afraid the Emperor would lose his temper… >O<)
55. How did it feel at that time?
Little Yu: (Deep in thought for a long time, corner of mouth twitches, silent)
Little Meng: A bit painful, but very satisfied.
Parent: Looking at Little Yu’s expression, it’s clear he was also extremely satisfied… >O<
56. What did your partner look like at that time?
Little Yu: Enticing.
Little Meng: Dominating.
Parent: Ladies, it was from that first time you all learned that Little Yu has a uniform fetish!
57. What was the first thing you said the morning after your first night?
Little Yu: …
Little Meng: …
Parent: Hey, hey, this questioner is so tactless, specifically asking things people don’t want to talk about. They didn’t even have a morning after their first night…
58. How many times per week do you have intimate relations?
Little Yu: (Raises eyebrow, silent)
Little Meng: That… depends on how busy he is with state affairs.
Parent: Right, when he’s not busy, he goes to Xihua Palace to “Xihua Palace,” and when he’s busy, you go to Ruisi Hall to “Xihua Palace,” everyone understands.
59. In your opinion, what’s the ideal frequency per week?
Little Yu: (Continues raising eyebrow, silent)
Little Meng: That… still depends on how busy he is with state affairs.
Parent: On this question, the Emperor’s ability in this area is beyond question.
60. So, what kind of intimate relations do you have?
Little Yu: All kinds.
Little Meng: Don’t remember.
Parent: Little Meng, you’re pretending to be proper… Little Yu, those four words are really… tsk tsk.
61. Where are you most sensitive?
Little Yu: …
Little Meng: Earlobe.
Little Yu: (Turns to look at Little Meng) Your entire body is sensitive.
Little Meng: (Face suddenly red, turns angrily to questioner) His neck is most sensitive.
Little Yu: …
Parent: Little Yu, don’t you know women are scary… The Emperor’s privacy has been exposed, wahahahaha.
62. Where is your partner most sensitive?
Little Yu: (Stares coldly at questioner)
Little Meng: (Looks down at the floor)
Parent: Wiping sweat. Let’s move to the next question quickly.
63. Describe your partner during intimate moments in one phrase?
Little Yu: Very beautiful.
Little Meng: (Face red again) Unstoppably fierce.
Parent: I’m blushing too…
64. To be honest, do you enjoy intimate relations?
Little Yu: (Calmly nods once)
Little Meng: (Nods along)
Parent: Who doesn’t like it?!
65. Where do you usually have intimate relations?
Little Yu: Many places.
Little Meng: Xihua Palace.
Parent: Actually, it’s many places within Xihua Palace… >O<
66. Where would you like to try having intimate relations?
Little Yu: On the throne.
Little Meng: (Face red, speechless)
Parent: This is… so dominating!
Little Yu: I was just answering for her.
Little Meng: (Glares at Parent in embarrassment)
Parent: (Pretends not to see, looking down and twisting fingers) Anyway, everyone knows what kind of person you are, Little Meng, no need to pretend anymore…
67. Do you shower before or after intimate relations?
Little Yu: Depends on the situation.
Little Meng: Both.
Parent: They often do it while showering… >O<
68. Do you have any rules during intimate moments?
Little Yu: Not in front of palace servants.
Little Meng: Not if it would delay court sessions.
Parent: Tsk.
69. Have you had intimate relations with anyone other than your partner?
Little Yu: (Quickly scans around, notices he’s not carrying his sword, immediately displeased)
Little Meng: No. (Glances at Little Yu, then turns to a palace servant) Who moved the Emperor’s long sword? Bring it here immediately.
Parent: (Shudders)
70. What do you think of the idea “If you can’t have their heart, at least have their body”?
Little Yu: Agree.
Little Meng: Agree.
Parent: You two are truly compatible!
71. If your partner were assaulted by thugs, what would you do?
Little Yu: (Looking increasingly displeased, coldly shouts at the servant preparing to fetch the sword) Where is my sword?
Little Meng: No one in the world has the courage or ability to assault him.
Parent: The Emperor is so scary… >O<
72. Do you feel embarrassed before or after intimate relations?
Little Yu: No.
Little Meng: No.
Parent: I do! (Crowd: No one asked you! Parent: I mean, I feel embarrassed when writing about it… Crowd: Someyan, stop pretending…)
73. If a good friend said to you, “I’m lonely, just for tonight, please…” and requested intimate relations, what would you do?
Little Yu: (Looking completely impatient) When will that sword arrive?
Little Meng: (Turns to urge the palace servant) Hurry up, do you all want to be penalized? How many times have I said, the Emperor’s bows, swords, and armor must not be carelessly stored?
Parent: … So this question was just imperiously ignored?
74. Do you think you’re good at intimate relations?
Little Yu: Yes.
Little Meng: Yes.
Parent: Two people who don’t know modesty, (wiggling) although everyone knows you’re both good at it, you should still pretend a little bit…
75. What about your partner?
Little Yu: Good.
Little Meng: Good.
Parent: (Continues wiggling)
76. What do you want your partner to say during intimate moments?
Little Yu: Nothing at all.
Little Meng: Same as above.
Parent: You’re both lying! You two have so many variations…>O<
77. Which expression of your partner do you prefer during intimate moments?
Little Yu: When she’s so comfortable, she can’t speak.
Little Meng: (Face red, looks at Little Yu)
Little Yu: (Looks back at Little Meng)
Little Meng: (Turns away) He looks good with any expression.
Little Yu: (Softly laughs)
Parent: (Rubbing eyes hard) Emperor, did you just laugh… >O<
78. Do you think intimate relations with someone other than your partner are acceptable?
Little Yu: No.
Little Meng: No.
Parent: (With a WS expression) Little Yu, shall I expose what happened when you were twelve years old to Little Meng…
79. Are you interested in?
Little Yu: (Narrows eyes thinking, looks at Little Meng)
Little Meng: (Pretends to be angry) How dare you!
Parent: Actually, you two have already tried it, right? Doesn’t that uniform bondage time in the carriage behind the Di mansion count… >O<
80. If your partner suddenly stopped desiring you physically, what would you do?
Little Yu: Impossible.
Little Meng: (Face red, glares at Little Yu)
Little Yu: (Calmly turns pages of the memorial)
Little Meng: (Bites lip) He also wouldn’t stop.
Little Yu: (Continues calmly turning pages)
Parent: I have nothing to say…
81. What’s your view on assault?
Little Yu: (Gaze instantly fierce, sees palace servant returning with sword, glances at questioner)
Little Meng: Worse than beasts. (Sidles closer to Little Yu, smiling) I mentioned earlier about the gifts needed for the Grand Tutor’s birthday, but you haven’t approved them yet.
Little Yu: (Face softens) Do as you wish with that matter.
Parent: … Please don’t ask such life-threatening questions anymore (trembling)
82. What’s the most painful thing about intimate relations?
Little Yu: Nothing.
Little Meng: Nothing.
Parent: The whole universe knows you two enjoy this activity… but please show some restraint, Emperor and Empress… >O<
83. So far, what location for intimate relations has made you most excited or anxious?
Little Yu: (Looks sideways at Little Meng) Horseback.
Little Meng: (Face red enough to bleed) Too many.
Parent: (Shocked) Horseback? When did this happen? You two confess to me truthfully! (Blinking very WS-ly) Don’t tell me it was on Qingyun’s back? Qingyun didn’t get angry and throw you both off… >O<
84. Has the bottom ever actively seduced the top?
Little Yu: Yes.
Little Meng: (Hesitates a moment)
Parent: Little Meng, why are you hesitating? Don’t tell me you think you’re the top… >O<
Little Meng: (Glares at Parent, face red) Yes.
Little Yu: (Corner of mouth passes an almost imperceptible smile)
Parent: Tsk, although Empress, you are indeed quite dominant in some situations, the Emperor is still the ultimate top!
85. What was the top’s expression at that time?
Little Yu: (Expressionless)
Little Meng: (Looks at Little Yu) Just like now.
Parent: But usually after the Emperor’s expressionless face comes a storm of action… >O<
86. Has the top ever been forceful?
Little Yu: No.
Little Meng: Yes!
Parent: There is… huh?
Little Yu: (Calmly looks at Little Meng) When was that?
Little Meng: (Twisting fingers) Just yes.
Parent: Hey, hey, Little Meng, the kind you enjoy doesn’t count… That’s role-playing at most… >O<
87. What was the bottom’s reaction at that time?
Little Yu: Pretending to resist.
Little Meng: It wasn’t pretend!
Parent: It wasn’t… huh?
Little Yu: (Still calmly looking at Little Meng) Then we won’t do it anymore?
Little Meng: (Still twisting fingers)…
Little Yu: (Smiles slightly, reaches over to untangle Little Meng’s increasingly knotted fingers) The Empress is shy in front of others. Change the question.
Parent: Little Meng, your Emperor indulges you too much… I’m so envious… >O<
88. What is your ideal intimate partner?
Little Yu: The Empress.
Little Meng: … Him.
Parent: You two are most harmonious in this aspect!
89. Does your current partner meet your ideal?
Little Yu: Yes.
Little Meng: Yes.
Parent: How could two beasts not meet each other’s ideals… (Gets beaten by crowd)
90. Have you used toys during intimate moments?
Little Yu: Yes.
Little Meng: Yes.
Parent: Do you know that readers often complain that I never give you two a scene dedicated to toys?
91. When was your first time?
Little Yu: … (Reaches across for sword)
Little Meng: Nineteen years old.
Parent: Emperor, violence can’t cover up facts… >O<
92. Was your first partner your current lover?
Little Yu: … (Smoothly draws sword from sheath)
Little Meng: Yes. (Looks sideways at Little Yu, reaches to point at sword hilt) Last time I specially wrapped some silk around this sword hilt, does it feel better in your hand?
Little Yu: (Raises eyebrow, lowers eyes, hand holding sword moves slightly)
Parent: Emperor, you’ve been so busy lately, you haven’t noticed the Empress’s thoughtfulness; you really should be reproached… >O<
Little Yu: (Glares fiercely at Parent, drops sword, grabs Little Meng’s hand instead)
Little Meng: (Smiles)
Parent: Emperor, I’m not afraid of your glares… I wasn’t even afraid of your father, much less you… >O<
93. Where do you like being kissed most?
Little Yu: All over.
Little Meng: All over.
Parent: I’m blushing!
94. Where do you like to kiss your partner most?
Little Yu: Back.
Little Meng: Lips.
Parent: I also want to kiss the Emperor’s lips… Covers face and runs away at light speed.
95. What best pleases your partner during intimate moments?
Little Yu: Being dominant.
Little Meng: Being compliant.
Parent: You two have such heavy tastes… >O<
96. What do you think about during intimate moments?
Little Yu: Her.
Little Meng: Him.
Parent: Aren’t they asking about things other than your partner… >O<
97. How many times in one night?
Little Yu: As appropriate.
Little Meng: As appropriate.
Parent: Let me translate: “as appropriate” means depending on how busy the Emperor is with state affairs… When not busy, they can go all night without sleeping… >O<
98. During intimate moments, do you undress yourself or does your partner help?
Little Yu: Both.
Little Meng: He does.
Parent: You two generally don’t call it undressing, it’s more like tearing, pulling… >O<
99. What are intimate relations to you?
Little Yu: …
Little Meng: …
Parent: … This question is too profound, I can’t write it!
100. Please say something to your lover.
Little Yu: (Says nothing, directly picks up Little Meng and carries her toward Xihua Palace)
Little Meng: (Struggles slightly, then obediently hooks arms around Little Yu’s neck and buries head in laughter)
Parent: I said last time, love isn’t about saying it, it’s about showing it… >O< (Crowd: Someyan, you are too WS!)