That evening, after dinner, the Princess Consort led Yun Pan to inspect the gifts being prepared for the following day’s return visit to her family home.
Six carrying poles of gifts, all trimmed with red satin. The Princess Consort counted through them one by one: “Tea cakes, geese, mutton, fruits, colored silks, goose eggs, and two crocks of oil and honey — not a single item missing. Since Youzhou is too far to return to, the ceremony will take place at the Duke of Shuguo’s household instead. But I’m not sure what arrangements your father has made — if he is absent tomorrow, there will be no way to send these things to Youzhou either. That would be awkward.”
Yun Pan said: “Mother need not worry. Everything was settled with Father in advance. Youzhou is so far — it was agreed that the return visit ceremony would be handled here. Father is in the capital at the moment, so things can be arranged more directly. It was decided that first we would make the return visit, and then he would go up to Youzhou and hold a dinner there for the relatives and friends who couldn’t make the journey to the capital for the wedding.”
The Princess Consort nodded. “Very good. I was only afraid of having failed to think of something — of treating your father too poorly. After all, we are the principal family of the bride.” With that settled, she made no further fuss, reviewed everything once more to confirm it was complete, and then moved with Yun Pan to the outer room.
After dinner, the maidservants brought two cups of fragrant drink. The Princess Consort pointed to the round-backed chair beside her. “My dear child, sit down and talk with me.”
Yun Pan said yes, and inwardly sensed what was coming. Surely the Princess Consort was about to say something important.
Sure enough, the Princess Consort turned toward her and said: “I didn’t bring Hui Cun along — just the two of us, speaking frankly as mother and daughter-in-law. You have been in the manor two days now. What do you think of Ji Fu?”
Yun Pan considered carefully and said: “His Grace is of noble character and commands deep admiration.”
The Princess Consort was briefly taken aback, and then laughed. “Between husband and wife, what is there to admire or not admire — that sort of talk would make people laugh. I know my own son. His temperament is the most even-tempered of anyone, and he thinks everything through carefully. I am not boasting as his mother — his character truly is fine.”
Yun Pan smiled and agreed. “I had wondered before how someone with His Grace’s background could have developed such a genuinely courteous nature. But after meeting Grandmother and Mother, I understood — it is entirely because Grandmother and Mother have taught him so well, and because the household’s character is upright and pure.”
This was a thorough and well-aimed compliment to the Princess Consort’s vanity, and that mother-in-law enjoyed it thoroughly.
But once enjoyed, things still had to be said. Princess Consort Liang sighed deeply: “Ji Fu’s father has been gone for several years now. His greatest regret was not living to see his son marry. I suffered real anguish over Ji Fu’s marriage, and now at last it has been settled. I have done right by his father’s spirit in heaven.” She then looked at Yun Pan with warmth that grew ever warmer. “Si Si — about the matter of the two of you properly observing the rites — this cannot be delayed. It is the height of your newlywed days; it should be a time like honey and sugar. Yet it seems the gentleman-in-the-bedchamber is also a gentleman-in-the-bed. If this keeps up, I will have no hope of a grandchild, and I will have nothing to say to Grandmother either.”
Yun Pan’s face burned. She did not know how to answer and could only lower her head and say yes.
“You need not be embarrassed. All people in the world pass through this. Without that one thing, there is no such thing as husband and wife, and two hearts cannot truly draw together.” The Princess Consort spoke, then grimaced slightly with her own discomfort. “Ah — it is I who am being bold, speaking to you of such things. A mother-in-law saying this to you — it truly is presumptuous. I hope you do not think ill of me. I simply felt that you are both reserved by nature, and since I cannot very well say it to Ji Fu, I have had to speak to you plainly as mother to child. You are a decisive girl — surely you need no prompting. Am I right?”
There was nothing Yun Pan could do. She lowered her head further and further, fumbling: “Mother has gone to such trouble — it is my fault, truly. I have taken Mother’s words to heart. Tonight I will… I will… I will see that…”
She was too mortified to go on. The Princess Consort had received the answer she wanted, and laughed: “Wonderful, wonderful. With that settled, what more could I ask? The hour is late and you have been exhausted all day — go and rest! Go on.” She turned to the maidservant at her side. “Chun Ling, see Madam back to the Prolong the Day courtyard.”
The maidservant called Chun Ling came forward, bowed in acknowledgment, and led the way. Outside, Qin Dan was already waiting and came forward to take over, accompanying Yun Pan back along the covered walkway to the front courtyard.
When she returned, Li Chenjian had already finished washing up. He was walking through the bedchamber in his sky-blue sleeping robe, turned and glanced back at her, and asked calmly: “Did Mother want something?”
Yun Pan said no. “Just checking over the gifts for tomorrow’s return visit.”
The truth was she was still a little ill at ease. Her eyes darted away from his, and she hurriedly turned and went into the side room to change her clothes.
He watched her back as she went, standing still for a moment. Outside, the rain had stopped. Occasionally one could hear drops of accumulated water falling from the eaves, landing with a soft, intermittent sound.
The bamboo curtain hung low before the arched window. On the writing table before it, a single stick of incense burned, its tip a point of glowing red. The thin thread of smoke stretched upward in fitful, drifting lines, and the air carried the scent of damp earth mingled with burning agalwood, sketching out the fresh and particular quality of an evening after rain.
The last of the evening light faded away, faded away altogether, and where the oil lamp could not reach, the night drew itself up high.
He walked slowly toward the bed step. Almost without meaning to, he caught sight of the kerchief under the pillow, and reached out a fingertip to touch its corner.
Yun Pan, after washing, came back to the bedchamber and found him already lying down. He was tall and slender, and with one leg propped up, his posture was especially relaxed and unhurried.
She walked toward the bed under his gaze and felt considerably flustered. But in his eyes, something like a gentle, hazy mist was rising; those refined brows and long lashes — looking at them made Yun Pan’s heart stir.
He moved to one side to make room for her. She had always slept on the inner side, and had just been thinking how she was going to climb past him — when she had barely crouched down to touch the edge of the bed and a pair of steady, strong arms encircled her, turning her lightly with a single smooth motion to her usual place.
He propped himself above her, and looked directly into her eyes. “Today you’ve been to the palace and heard what the Empress Dowager had to say. What is your thinking? Do you intend to live your life together with me from now on — or would you like a little more time to consider carefully?”
A person can wear many different faces. By day he was a composed and gracious gentleman, dignified to behold. In the bedchamber, he kept something more feral, and had a certain authority that was entirely a man’s.
And yet for all the closeness — he did not seem, in truth, to be as emotionally open as he appeared on the surface. Even now, with the two of them so near that she could feel his breath against her, Yun Pan still felt he was beyond reach, beautiful from a distance. Everything was done in accordance with propriety; he was warm, but there was little in the way of solid, substantive feeling. Sometimes the people who appeared most tender were in fact the most unfathomable.
Fine. She did not need to understand him too deeply either. Most husbands and wives in the world spent a whole lifetime like this — just like her mother and father, who had once been willing to live and die for each other, and in the end, what had any of it amounted to?
The heights bring their own decline — that is the law of heaven. Without great heights, there can be no great fall. Yun Pan felt that her marriage, lived out just like this, in plain and quiet simplicity, would also be quite all right.
So she said, in a composed voice: “I have already become His Grace’s wife. For the moment, I have no thoughts of separation.”
This was already a clear statement of her position — that at least for now, she did not regret marrying him.
The mist in his eyes grew thicker. Beneath the sweep of those long, dark lashes, he was like a still, deep pool.
He said: “Very good,” and lowered his head to kiss her lips, slowly, tenderly, drawing out her soul.
At the very least, he was a fine man — steady, cultivated, and… immovable as bedrock.
Yun Pan raised her hand, through that thin layer of sky-blue fabric, and placed it on his back. Her mind was scattered with half-formed thoughts: this is the one, then — however one compares, he is the most beyond reproach of any possible husband.
The warmth of breath condensed between them, steaming through the fabric, dizzying in the heat. He shed his sleeping robe and let it fall from the bed. Yun Pan’s fingers traced slowly up along the line of his side, and came to rest on a round scar on his back.
This was the wound from the cold arrow he had taken years ago. She pressed her fingertip gently to it — even now there remained a small, shallow depression.
His breathing deepened in her ear, and he called her name softly: “Si Si…”
She said: “Hmm?”
The pillow shifted faintly. The wedding kerchief was drawn out from beneath it.
She closed her eyes, heart thudding, and her brows drew together. The pain came and then a sudden, deflated feeling settled over her. What does a woman marry for, after all — just to endure a suffering that cannot be spoken of?
Yet the one thing that could be said to console her was that he was truly considerate — he was not the kind of man to simply press ahead and care only for his own satisfaction. When he heard her let out a soft, muffled sound, he stopped and asked her: “Does it hurt very much?”
Yun Pan nodded, and looked at him through blurred, teary eyes. His cheek had just broken into a thin sheen of perspiration, the moisture lending his complexion the quality of fine satin. Perhaps because his emotions were not in their usual state of composure, his eyes looked all the more deep and dark and heavy with intent, as if they could steal a person’s soul.
She turned her face away in embarrassment. “I have lost my composure again.”
He followed and pressed a kiss to the small, soft patch of skin just below her ear. “You have never once lost composure. You have done wonderfully throughout. It’s only that — I have heard from others — the first time is very painful.”
She looked over at him. “Does it hurt for His Grace as well?”
He laughed despite himself. “I am a man. Men do not feel pain.” What a man did feel was emotions too large to govern, and in this moment he felt that he would gladly give his life into her keeping. He had not known until today what it was to take a wife. His whole heart was full of joy, and for one brief instant he had not even feared death.
What a pity that she seemed very displeased. That wrinkled little brow, those unhappy eyes — she looked somewhat forlorn.
“Let us stop here for tonight, shall we?” he said, his voice low. “I am already very content. Let you rest now.”
But if they stopped here entirely — would all the effort be for nothing?
Yun Pan said: “I studied the bridal guide. Has His Grace truly reached the height of happiness?”
She was sometimes genuinely as naive as a child. He was torn between amusement and helplessness. If he said he had truly reached the height of happiness — it seemed… there was perhaps still a small degree remaining.
She saw that he gave no answer. She shifted slightly. “His Grace…”
That one soft call — tender, and carrying a faint note of a spoiled girl’s coaxing — landed squarely in his heart, unstoppable.
He was arrested for a moment. The perspiration at his temples spread like a small tide. Yun Pan watched his brow furrow, then his expression shift all at once — and then, like a puppet with its strings cut, he sank forward in exhaustion. Their damp skin pressed together, and on this night of the sixth month, the heat was close to burning.
The slender, soft toes peeking out from beneath the quilt curled in. Yun Pan’s mouth felt strangely parched. After a long while, he finally raised his head. Their eyes met. His gaze was as deep and boundless as a sea. Just as she was feeling uncertain, he lifted his fingers and brushed aside the hair from her face, then let his fingertips travel all the way down the length of her arm until he found her hand, and interlaced his fingers with hers.
Like this — the great rite was complete.
Yun Pan was so exhausted she could barely keep her eyes open. She thought to herself that she hadn’t really done anything, yet somehow she felt as if she had carried stones — her hands and feet too heavy to lift. Afterward she fell into a muddled sleep, sinking deep and dreamless through the whole night.
When morning came, birdsong drifted in from the courtyard, accompanied by the sound of a maidservant rolling up the bamboo curtains in the outer room. She blinked open her eyes. The daylight was already full and bright — another new and living day in the human world.
The person beside her was sleeping soundly. She did not wake him, and crept quietly out of bed. The night had left some lingering discomfort, and even walking was a little awkward, but she straightened her back and composed herself — to avoid giving anyone anything to laugh about, she would appear as though everything was perfectly ordinary.
Mingke and Ruolan came forward to help her wash and dress. Qin Dan moved the food table to one side. Nanny Yao placed a bowl of pearl and jade congee on it, then asked in a low voice: “Madam, last night…”
Yun Pan’s face flushed. She folded the kerchief — neat and square — and placed it in Nanny Yao’s hands. Nanny Yao opened and looked at it. There was a small spot, deep rose-red, the mark of a girl come of age.
Nanny Yao was overjoyed. She led the maidservants in giving Yun Pan their blessings, and said with a warm and relieved smile: “This is well — at last your servant can account for herself to Madam’s aunt.” Happily she placed the kerchief in a small box, talking all the while: “Your servant will go right now to offer the Princess Consort her congratulations.” And with that she was off, brisk and quick, out of the upper room.
The three maidservants were all still unmarried girls. They all exchanged a glance with each other, a little shy.
Yun Pan could only feign the ease of experience. “When you all marry someday, you will have a moment like this too. Be open about it. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.”
But her own face burned scarlet, and in the end she could not finish what she was saying. She raised both hands and covered her face.
This time it was Qin Dan and the others who consoled her: “It is as it should be. You have left your home and are a Duchess now — to follow propriety in all things is nothing to be ashamed of.”
Ruolan swept Yun Pan’s hair up into a high bun, combing each strand into smooth perfection with a fine-toothed comb, and chattered cheerfully: “Today, let us do a high court bun, and then put on the gold comb and the flower-hair ornaments — that is the proper dignity and distinction of a Duchess. When the Madam of the western household sees Madam, she will know that all is well and be so happy.”
Yun Pan looked at herself in the mirror, and at last let out a long, slow breath.
As she had said to the others — a married woman passes through this door, every one of them, unless one intends to keep one’s purity and scheme toward a separation. As for herself — though she had no particular special feeling for the Duke of Weiguo, at least she did not dislike him. The elders in this manor were kind, and her young sister-in-law was warm and affectionate. There was no reason not to build a life here for the long term. Since that was so, she had fulfilled her duty as a wife — and now she no longer owed anything to the Duke of Weiguo.
The person in the inner bedchamber had finally risen as well. A man’s washing and dressing is not as intricate as a woman’s; though he woke later than she did, he was fully dressed before her.
When Yun Pan came out of the dressing room, he was already waiting at the door. Seeing her dressed in her full attire, a flash of admiration lit his eyes — though his expression remained composed and self-possessed as ever, with that same contained manner. He smiled and said: “Grandmother has given word — no need to pay respects this morning. When the front is ready, we will set out.”
Yun Pan gave a small nod. They stood side by side beneath the corridor eaves, waiting for word from the outer gate.
Perhaps because of the intimacy of the night before, both of them were a little awkward now. Li Chenjian was not the kind of man to be insufferably presumptuous — just because she had given herself to him, he would not immediately become glib and take outrageous liberties.
In his mind, a wife was someone to be cherished and respected. She had come to one’s house as a guest, not as one’s blood — all the more reason to be careful and never presumptuous.
The night before had brought rain, and everything in the courtyard had been washed clean, as though the people around him too had been made fresh and new. He stole a quiet look at her. She stood upright, head lifted, young as she was — she had already displayed the air and bearing of a proper mistress of the household.
Nanny Yao’s husband, He Song, had come to the manor as an accompanying attendant and now waited just outside the inner gate at Nanny Yao’s direction, handling the affairs of the outer side. He reported at the courtyard gate that the carriages and horses were all prepared, and asked His Grace and Madam to come out.
Li Chenjian said: “Let us go.” He held out his hand for her to steady herself. Once they were settled in the carriage, he asked in a low voice: “How are you feeling now? Still sore?”
Her heart gave a jump. Yun Pan’s face flushed crimson again. She murmured: “It doesn’t hurt anymore. Thank you for His Grace’s concern.”
He leaned back against the carriage lining, his purple round-collar long robe lending him a refined, scholarly air. He turned the ring on his finger and smiled: “We are husband and wife. Madam is too formal — it makes things feel distant.”
He had a point. Now that she thought back — the two of them addressing each other as “Your Grace” and “Madam” every time, even after sharing a bed, somehow never felt as though their hearts had moved any closer.
Yun Pan answered readily enough: “From now on let us be easy with each other.” Then she asked him: “Yesterday I spoke with the elders about opening a shop. Has His Grace heard? It was just a thought I had — I acted on it quickly, perhaps too quickly, and it may need more careful consideration. I wonder if His Grace has any thoughts about it.”
Li Chenjian had of course already heard. While she went with the Princess Consort to the other courtyard to check the return-visit gifts, the Senior Madam had mentioned the matter to him.
Two simple sentences were enough for him to understand her purpose in opening the shop. Yesterday’s visit to the palace must have made a considerable impression on this young woman. She had begun to try to cultivate connections within the circle of noble ladies. She had a fine foundation for it: that walnut in every pair of hands had given her a small degree of renown in the aristocratic world. Everyone in the capital knew by now that the Duchess of Weiguo had a pair of skilled hands and a mind of seven apertures and exquisite ingenuity. Riding this favorable wind, opening a shop was only natural — even setting aside whether it was meant to help him accomplish great things, simply cultivating good relations with noble ladies and wives was in itself the achievement of a capable partner at home.
Now she came to ask his thoughts. Naturally he would not throw cold water on her. He said: “When you open your shop, I will bring in the business. I heard from my elder brother that a number of our cousins all admire your craftsmanship greatly. They are princesses with the most discerning of tastes — if they are pleased, your shop is certain to thrive.”
This was a pleasant surprise beyond her expectations. Although she had already won over Senior Madam Hu and Princess Consort Liang, having his genuine support also made her very glad.
“What Mother passed down to me was mostly gold, silver, currency drafts, and properties. When I was still at home, I had been wanting to open a wine house or a money house, a pawnshop or a lending shop — but it was not possible, bound as I was by the rules for unmarried women.” She pressed her hands to her knees and smiled. “Now that I have left home, there are things I couldn’t say then that I can say now, and things I couldn’t do then that I can do now.”
“Come to think of it — leaving home isn’t such a bad thing, is it?” he said, with just a little teasing in his tone.
Yun Pan laughed, her eyes curving. “Exactly right.”
He nodded. “I know Madam is someone who acts with caution, so you should feel free to pursue what you wish to do. There is only one thing: be on guard against others — once you doubt someone, do not continue to use them. Beyond that, there is nothing else. If in the future you need my help in any way, do not hesitate. Just say the word.”
With those words from him, everything had a firm foundation beneath it — like that time they first met in Youzhou, when even with a bamboo curtain between them, one felt something solid and trustworthy about him. Now she could rely on him openly and above all suspicion. To have a great tree at one’s back and rest in its shade — that truly was a most agreeable thing.
Yun Pan smiled and looked out the window. The carriage rolled steadily on, all the way to the Duke of Shuguo’s residence, arriving at the gate in roughly the time it takes two sticks of incense to burn.
Her uncle and aunt, along with her father, had received word and were already waiting outside the gate. Seeing them descend from the carriage, each one lit up with a smile.
Li Chenjian and Yun Pan made their bows to each one in turn. The aunt took Yun Pan’s hand and looked her over again and again, carefully and thoroughly, then said: “My Si Si — you are visibly a grown woman now. Your mother in heaven must be so happy looking down at you.” She beckoned warmly. “Come, come — don’t stand out here. How hot it is. Come inside and rest.”
And so the whole party moved into the front hall. The manservants carrying the return-visit gifts followed with the poles behind them.
While the men sat together drinking tea, Madam Ming drew Yun Pan over to the small flower hall on the eastern side. The two of them settled on cushioned seats, and Madam Ming asked with deep feeling: “How does the husband treat you? After two days together, you must have some sense of who he is.”
Yun Pan smiled gently. “He is a principled gentleman — a man of noble character. He has not been anything but good to me.”
Madam Ming exhaled in relief. Then came the women’s private talk, and she lowered her voice: “Is the husband tender? That matter between the two of you — is it harmonious?”
That same question again. Even though it came from her aunt’s genuine concern, it was still terribly difficult to answer. And yet she could hardly refuse to answer at all, so she lowered her head shyly and twisted her fingers together, saying: “His Grace is very considerate. Everything is well. Please do not worry, Aunt.”
Madam Ming looked at that small, embarrassed expression and knew that the young couple were genuinely happy together. She covered her mouth and laughed softly: “Earlier I had some worries because they said he was in poor health. But when the day after the wedding the congratulatory note arrived from the manor, I knew I had been worrying needlessly.”
Yun Pan, still a young bride, squirmed and fussed any time bedroom matters were raised, and turned the subject aside, asking her aunt: “Is my cousin in the Zilan Courtyard? Does she know I’m coming back today?”
Madam Ming said: “The third-day return visit — she knows, certainly. Only this girl, I don’t know what’s gotten into her lately, she has been behaving as if bewitched — she has not left her courtyard in three full days. That day I had planned to bring Nian Zi over to meet her, and she absolutely refused to open her door. She made a scene and embarrassed me terribly.”
Yun Pan listened, and felt a creeping unease. “Let me go and see A’Jie.” And with that she took her leave from the small flower hall and made her way along the wooden walkway toward the Zilan Courtyard.