Ling Jingshu gave a nod, then spoke in a low and careful voice. “This must not be rushed. Everything must be planned before any move is made. It must look entirely like an accident — completely unconnected to you. Even if Li Shi suspects you when it happens, there must be nothing that can be traced back to you.”

Just like A’Xiao’s “accident” all those years ago.

Ling Ting understood without needing it spelled out and agreed with a nod.

The two spoke in hushed voices, working through certain details and the means by which they would communicate in the future. It was not until past the third watch that Ling Ting finally departed.

Ling Jingshu released a quiet breath, and every expression faded from her face.

A small and young life — in the not-too-distant future, it would be extinguished. The one to act would be Ling Ting, but the true architect of it was her… Before Ling Ting, she had been composed and betrayed nothing. But inside, she had been trembling all along.

Yet the moment she thought of Ling Xiao, killed without cause in her past life — and of Bai Yu — and of Li Shi’s cruelty and ruthlessness — that faint flicker of hesitation and doubt in Ling Jingshu’s heart was crushed down at once.

When Li Shi had moved against Ling Xiao, who had been only eight years old, had she ever hesitated or gone soft? When she later struck against sixteen-year-old Ling Xiao, had she ever wavered or faltered?

Bai Yu had suffered every form of torment and humiliation after being married into the Li Family, and she had died — that too must have been carried out at Li Shi’s direction.

A tooth for a tooth. Blood for blood.

The gentle and tender Ling Jingshu of that former life was long dead. The one who had been reborn had come to seek vengeance — and she would have to steel her heart to do it. First she would place her piece on the board to deal with Li Shi and her son. In time she would need to destroy the Lu Family. Then she would need to deal with Princess Changping…

Even if her hands were stained with blood, even if she descended into the depths of the underworld after death — it would all be worth it.

“Miss, why does your face look so pale?” Bai Yu’s voice broke through Ling Jingshu’s thoughts.

In the soft candlelight, Ling Jingshu’s expression was heavy and sunken, her delicate face drained of color — a sight that struck unease into the heart.

Ling Jingshu came back to herself and curved the corner of her lips. “It is nothing. I was just turning something over in my mind, and it unsettled me a little.” She paused, then lowered her voice to a murmur almost to herself. “Bai Yu, I am a little afraid.”

Bai Yu startled and leaned closer at once. “Miss is afraid of what?”

She was inwardly afraid of her own changing self. Afraid that in pursuit of vengeance she would become someone willing to do anything — become someone unrecognizable, someone she could not bear to look at…

All those words surged to the edge of her lips, on the very verge of spilling out. But when she saw Bai Yu’s face full of concern, they retreated back down of their own accord.

These shadows — she would carry them alone. Why let Bai Yu share in the confusion and distress?

“I have never traveled far from home in all my life.” Ling Jingshu quickly found a respectable excuse. “Knowing that we set off tomorrow morning, I find I cannot quite settle my heart.”

Bai Yu was sharp and perceptive enough to hear the deflection and the insincerity behind Ling Jingshu’s words. But since Ling Jingshu did not wish to speak of it, she would not press — and she followed Ling Jingshu’s lead instead. “That is so. Just thinking of going somewhere so far away, this servant’s heart is not quite at ease either! But at least we will be traveling with the First Master’s household to the dock and boarding an official vessel, so there will be people to see to things along the way. That is some comfort.”

Then she smiled. “It is already late into the night, Miss. It would be best to rest early. Tomorrow we must be up before dawn!”

Ling Jingshu gave a quiet sound of assent.

After changing her clothing and lying down, Bai Yu thoughtfully left one candelabra burning and extinguished the other, carrying the remaining light over to a corner of the room. That single point of light chased away the darkness from the room — but it could not chase away the darkness within Ling Jingshu’s heart.

She lay with her eyes closed for a long while before the edges of sleep finally began to blur.

In her dreams, she was back in the last night of her old life.

“Here is three yards of white silk — a gift from the palace.” Ling Shi’s eyes gleamed with vicious pleasure as she bent down and looked at her, kneeling on the ground. “Consider yourself fortunate. This is a secret decree handed down by the Empress Dowager herself — and white silk she sent with her own hands.”

Lu An stood at Ling Shi’s side. In his eyes was a faint, reluctant trace of longing.

But this was a secret decree that had come directly from Empress Dowager Xu — a decree that demanded Ling Jingshu’s life. Even if he had every ounce of boldness such feelings required, he did not dare now to protect Ling Jingshu’s life.

Her face was ashen, her heart full of bitter resentment. Her eyes burned with hatred and refusal. “What have I ever done wrong? Why are you treating me this way?”

“You erred in being A’Hong’s Yuanpei — his first and legal wife.” Ling Shi’s laugh was cold. “And what exalted status does Princess Changping hold? She has chosen A’Hong as her Prince Consort — that is fortune enough to last him several lifetimes. A princess of her standing naturally cannot bear the reputation of stealing another woman’s husband. Only once you have ‘died suddenly’ can A’Hong become her Prince Consort.”

“Ling Jingshu — accept your fate.”

No. She would never accept this fate.

Several older servant women pinned her down. She struggled with all her strength. Ling Shi, tired of waiting, simply took up the white silk and wound it around her throat, pulling it tight with deliberate force — and strangled her to death where she knelt…

Ling Jingshu startled awake from the nightmare, working hard to steady her chaotic heartbeat and breathing. She turned to face the inner wall and forced herself back toward sleep.

In a haze, she slipped into another dream.

“A’Xiao, A’Xiao — wake up.” Eight-year-old Ling Jingshu sat at the edge of the bed, leaning over the small and motionless form of her brother Ling Xiao, his face bloodless and still. Tears fell like broken pearls, one after another, never stopping.

But no matter how she called, young Ling Xiao lay without moving.

The image shifted rapidly. Ling Xiao’s head and eyes were wrapped in layer after layer of white bandaging. The physician carefully removed the cloth layer by layer. Ling Xiao’s lovely eyes were shrouded in a mist that would not lift, and he said in a lost and bewildered voice, “A’Shu, I cannot see. I cannot see anymore… What am I to do?”

Ling Xiao’s low and listless voice echoed on and on.

“A’Shu, I will never be able to read again.”

“A’Shu, our cousins call me a blind cripple behind my back.”

“A’Shu, I cannot do anything at all. I am like a useless person…”

No, A’Xiao. You are not useless. In my heart, you are the finest and most remarkable young man beneath all of heaven. I never even had the chance to see you one last time before we were parted by death forever. It was all Li Shi’s doing…

“Miss, Miss.” A familiar hand came to brush the tears from her face, a voice filled with aching tenderness and concern.

Ling Jingshu opened her eyes. Bai Yu’s familiar face filled her vision. “Miss, you had another nightmare. Your face is covered in tears. This servant heard you speaking in your sleep as well.”

Ling Jingshu instinctively asked, “What did I say?”

Bai Yu hesitated briefly, then spoke the truth. “This servant only heard you calling for the young master again and again, and saying you would avenge him.”

A tremor ran through Ling Jingshu’s heart. She said at once, “I had a nightmare — I dreamed that someone had harmed A’Xiao.”

It was a perfectly reasonable explanation.

Bai Yu gave a barely perceptible exhale of relief and said with a reassuring smile, “It was only a dream — it is not real. The sky is almost light, Miss. Perhaps it would be better to rise now. Before long, we will need to take our leave of the master, the mistress, and the old matriarch.”

Ling Jingshu steadied herself and agreed.

Once she had risen and dressed, Ling Xiao arrived with a face full of delight. The moment he stepped through the door, he called out eagerly, “A’Shu, have you had breakfast yet? Come quickly — once we have eaten, we can go and bid farewell to Grandmother.”

And then with a bright and happy laugh: “I have never in my life traveled far from home or ridden an official vessel! I wonder whether I will be prone to seasickness.”

His smile was more radiant than sunshine — and it swept away every last shadow from Ling Jingshu’s heart.

Ling Jingshu found herself smiling in return. “The first consort’s household is sure to have medicine for seasickness. Let us take some before we board.”

Ling Xiao nodded eagerly, then sighed with a small note of regret. “What a pity I cannot see — I will miss all the scenery along the way.”

A quiet ache rose in Ling Jingshu’s heart, though her voice remained gentle and full of comfort. “I will describe it all to you as we go. And once your eyes are healed, you can look at whatever you wish.”

Will he truly have the day when he sees the light again?

The thought alone was enough to make Ling Xiao tremble with anticipation. His eagerness for the journey to the capital was barely contained — written all over his face for anyone to see.

Ling Jingshu gazed at him, and the last trace of darkness in her heart dissolved away entirely.

May the divine physician Wei’s skill be as extraordinary as his name, and may he restore A’Xiao’s sight. So long as A’Xiao can see again, she would gladly do anything asked of her.

All the shadow and all the sin — she would shoulder every bit of it herself.