I was the second prince of Chen Guo. That night, I requested to lead our finest fighters into Linnan City under cover of darkness, to coordinate with our agents planted inside and take the city from within and without.
That night, we stumbled by mistake into the Changle Tavern, and there we captured someone precious to Prince Pingnan — and that was how I first saw her.
She unraveled our whole plan and killed one of our best men herself. When Prince Pingnan gave the order to shoot everyone down together, she chose to die alongside her own people rather than surrender! That kind of courage — I couldn’t help but admire it.
Perhaps it was simply fate. I watched her reach up and loosen the cloth binding her hair, letting it slide down like silk past her waist, right there in front of me. Her eyes glinted, staring me down without flinching.
She was a woman! I had never encountered a woman of such fierce spirit. There was something wild in her eyes too, and I found myself unable to look away.
Then, as she slowly shed her black outer robe, and the thin silk beneath fluttered in the wind for just an instant, my heart began to race wildly. She smiled radiantly — like a spirit of the mountains, like a phantom of the night itself.
It must have been my fate, my ruin. I, always known for my iron will and ruthlessness, lost myself for a moment over this slender figure with her robes dancing in the wind. I closed my eyes deliberately, trying to shake off the spell she’d cast over me. And in that single instant of distraction, I heard the twang of a bowstring — our plan had failed, I’d lost one of my men, and I fled Linnan City alone.
From that day on, I carried a bone-deep hatred for Liu Jue, yet I also found myself, unbidden, recalling those bright, clear eyes and the allure in her smile. But I warned myself — to be so bewitched by beauty was a mistake I could not allow myself to make twice. I threw myself into pleasure and indulgence, forcing myself not to send scouts to seek word of her. After the battle at Linnan City, I trained my troops harder than ever, hoping that one day I might defeat Liu Jue and swallow Ning Guo whole. That, I told myself, was what it meant to be a true man.
When Prince Li ascended the throne, I requested to serve as envoy, bearing lavish gifts to offer congratulations. Seeing Ning Guo’s vast, fertile lands stretching for a thousand li, ambition burned in me — one day, I would fold all of it into Chen Guo’s territory. I went to Wind City and drank and made merry with envoys from the other kingdoms, gathering intelligence from Chen Guo’s spies. At the night banquet in Ning’s palace, the moment I laid eyes on Liu Jue, I thought of her again.
Prince Pingnan was insufferably arrogant. Several times I held my temper, but he kept provoking me further. Had we not been in Ning’s palace, where my rank demanded restraint, I might well have drawn my sword on him right there at court.
But after the banquet, astonishing news reached me — Liu Jue had stormed into the palace and taken the Chancellor’s third daughter away with him. I laughed aloud, and decided to stay in Ning Guo and watch Prince Li and Prince Pingnan tear each other apart, sitting back to watch the tigers fight.
I never expected that the woman Prince Li himself favored would also be the Chancellor’s third daughter. What kind of woman was she? I had people look into it, and strangely enough, every rumor claimed the Chancellor’s third daughter was thoroughly unremarkable. Could she not be the woman I’d seen that night? If she truly was as plain and ordinary as the rumors claimed, why would she hold both Prince Li and Prince Pingnan so utterly captive? My curiosity burned fiercely.
Prince Li, without so much as a flicker of expression, began provoking me deliberately — seeming almost to fan the flames between Prince Pingnan and me. What was his purpose in this? Was he perhaps not the mild, refined prince he appeared to be on the surface?
I sensed keenly that this third daughter of the Chancellor’s was very likely the key figure who could plunge Ning Guo into chaos. I sent word by carrier pigeon, instructing Chen Guo’s agents to watch Liu Jue and the Chancellor’s third daughter closely. If we could seize them both before anyone else, then whether Liu Jue turned against the throne or not, they would make an excellent piece to use against Prince Li.
Yet within half a month, Prince Pingnan suddenly returned to Wind City. Prince Li named the Chancellor’s third daughter a princess and announced her marriage to Prince Pingnan, to take place within the month, holding a grand banquet in her honor.
A feeling struck me suddenly — she would be her. Only a woman like that spirit I’d seen could hold both Prince Li and Prince Pingnan so hopelessly captivated.
I understood the brilliance of Prince Li’s move — it avoided open conflict with Prince Anqing’s household while also securing Liu Jue’s unwavering loyalty. What I wanted most now was to see this newly titled princess with my own eyes, to confirm the answer I’d carried hidden in my chest for so long.
The answer came swiftly. The moment she approached alongside the Empress, my eyes saw nothing else. At Linnan City I’d only caught a fleeting glimpse and remembered her radiant smile toward me — but here, at court, dressed in resplendent robes, her noble beauty set my heart pounding. She looked at nothing and no one; everything around her seemed beneath her notice. Though not born of royal blood, she carried herself with a royal disdain that only the highborn usually possessed. She smiled at me when I deliberately went to pay my respects. And in that very moment, I caught a flash of something deep and meaningful in Prince Li’s eyes.
She didn’t linger long before leaving with the Empress. Her long trailing skirts made each step seem to bloom like a lotus flower. Long after she’d gone, the ministers and envoys were still lost in thought over her beauty. A princess so beautiful was enough to stir the most primal desire for possession in any man. If Prince Li truly meant to give her up, why put her on display at all? A pang of reluctance struck me — reluctance to watch her fall victim to Prince Li’s scheming. My hatred for Liu Jue deepened further. Had she been my betrothed, I would have hidden her beauty away and let that ordinary rumor about her stand forever.
Thinking of how, within a month, she would be married to Liu Jue, pain and jealousy consumed my every thought.
I needed no further provocation from Prince Li — I already wanted Liu Jue dead. But I couldn’t put Chen Guo at risk for the sake of one woman alone. Countless thoughts churned in my mind, until at last I resolved to face Liu Jue in battle, if only to vent the rage boiling in my chest.
She’d changed into a guard’s uniform and came out to greet us at the tent. I strode toward her, and for one dizzying instant I imagined she was walking toward me. But her gaze never once touched me — her shining eyes were fixed on Liu Jue alone.
“These past days the palace has been in an uproar preparing for Princess Qingluo’s wedding, and I haven’t been able to properly attend to you, Prince. Allow me this cup, as a farewell.” Prince Li asked, with studied casualness, when I planned to depart. I understood his intent perfectly well. Could he possibly want me to take Qingluo away with me? I didn’t dare. I wanted to abduct her — but I didn’t dare.
Heaven, it seemed, chose to favor me once more. Prince Anqing’s son Liu Jian planned to make his move during the princess’s wedding, and word arrived that Chen Guo and Xia Guo’s combined forces would strike Ning Guo from the south, while Qi Guo massed troops at the western border. With no more reason to hold back, I laid my plans through the night, jubilant, resolved to seize her amid the chaos.
When chaos erupted in the golden hall, I slipped away quietly. I sensed Prince Li’s gaze sweep over me, lingering — yet he made no move to call me back. I nearly laughed. So be it, then — I would grant Prince Li exactly what he wished. He surely believed this would give him righteous cause to declare war. If he knew that Chen Guo and Xia Guo’s combined forces would have attacked Ning Guo regardless of any provocation from him, would he regret it? I doubted it — because he didn’t want to, didn’t want to watch the woman he loved actually marry Prince Pingnan.
Taking Qingluo was easy. I thought wickedly to myself — once Prince Pingnan learned of all this, with Prince Anqing and his son’s strength behind him, how would Prince Li manage to hold his ground?
She finally came down from the clouds, out of the dream, and stood beside me — lively, playful, mischievous. I never knew she could be so vibrant. At first I’d only been dazzled, stunned by her beauty — but once I’d taken her, her true nature showed itself without any pretense, and it captivated me completely.
She was determined to escape — as if that were even possible. At first I didn’t take it seriously; on the boat she tried twice, and each time I caught her and brought her back, Qingluo would lift her chin haughtily, wearing an expression as if nothing at all had happened. Utterly endearing.
But her escape attempts grew more inventive by the day. The moment I left her alone even briefly, I’d spot the Black Robes’ signal fireworks somewhere, which gave me endless headaches. I hated her enough to grind my teeth, yet looking into her eyes, I could never bring myself to be harsh with her. I had always been the one to drive others to madness — never once had I met my match, until her.
Moving through the mountain forests, she never gave me a single moment’s rest. I had a hundred ways I could have made her suffer for it, yet again and again my heart softened and let her have her way.
Her smug little expressions left me both charmed and exasperated. Even sick, she never forgot to send up a signal — it left me both tender and furious at once. I who had always stood tall and proud, looking down on the world, found myself somehow content to be “tormented” by her.
So this was what it meant to fall for someone. No conditions attached — only the desire to protect her, to hold her carefully, hoping only that some small corner of her heart might, someday, hold a place for me.
I broke with my elder brother over her. Watching her vanish into the night, our border fortress fell to Liu Jue’s assault. Furious, regretful, and in anguish all at once, I swore that if I caught her again, I would use her as a hostage without mercy. But when I unexpectedly found her again in Yilong City, my heart held nothing but joy. Once we reached the mountain stronghold, I remembered my vow, remembered how Liu Jue had swept through Chen Guo’s cities day and night, taking my father captive by force — the hatred of a fallen kingdom reminded me I couldn’t afford to soften toward her.
The mountain nights were peaceful and still. Faintly, I heard her scream from the dungeon below. I couldn’t tell if I’d truly heard it or only imagined it. I raced toward the dungeon, and without waiting for the key, smashed the door open and rushed inside. The sight of a snake hunting rats made gooseflesh rise instantly along my arms.
She was curled up by the doorway, still screaming, the sound piercing straight through my heart like a blade. I carried her back to my chambers, consumed with self-reproach. Whatever hatred burned between us, I found I still couldn’t bear to see her suffer.
“Second Prince, Liu Jue has surrounded Black Wind Stronghold completely. As long as Princess Qingluo remains in our hands, we can surely force his army to retreat — we might even threaten him into signing a truce, forcing Ning’s army to withdraw from Xia Guo!” Cangxie’s exquisite face twisted with cold cruelty.
Use her as a hostage? I said nothing, my silence heavy.
“Second Prince, I intend to poison her. If Ning’s forces attack the stronghold, we push her out onto the gate to face them. Even if Liu Jue doesn’t care and takes the stronghold anyway, I’ll make certain he only gets back a princess consumed by deadly poison. I hear Prince Li and Prince Pingnan both treasure her like a jewel — let them watch the woman they love die in agony before their eyes, helpless to save her, and regret ever raising arms against my Xia Guo!”
“No!” The word burst from me before I could stop it. My face darkened. “What kind of man resorts to such tricks against a woman? If it comes to blades on an open battlefield, each side relying on their own strength, life and death as fate decides — even if Chu Nan loses that fight, I’d have no complaint. Using her as a hostage to frighten Liu Jue, to keep him from storming the stronghold and force his retreat — that much I can accept. But poisoning her besides? That, I will not permit!”
Cangxie gave a cold laugh. “Second Prince, this is no time for tenderness toward a woman. Don’t forget — Chen Guo has already fallen. You’ve thrown in your lot with Xia Guo. This is my territory now!”
Fury rose in me. “Chen Guo has fallen, but Chu Nan still stands. I take my leave!” My homeland, my kingdom — I would gather my own forces and rise again myself. To live under another’s roof, and be treated this way besides — that was not something Chu Nan would ever accept.
That night, I gathered twenty of my death-sworn followers and set out with Qingluo, meaning to leave. Cangxie brought troops to surround us completely. “Second Prince, if you no longer wish to remain allied with Xia Guo, you’re free to go — Cangxie will not stop you. But Princess Qingluo — her, you cannot take!”
“Ha! What a joke. You think you can tell Chu Nan who he may or may not take with him?” I couldn’t leave Qingluo in his hands. I took her hand and murmured low, “Stay close to me and break through with me!”
“There are too many of them!”
Warmth flooded my chest — she was actually worried for me! A surge of reckless spirit rose in me, and with a long battle cry I drew my sword and cut a path through the encirclement alongside my sworn men.
Those twenty men were loyal to Chen Guo, loyal to me alone. Not one of them questioned my decision. They shielded me and Qingluo and fought our way clear of Black Wind Stronghold.
I had once had twenty loyal men beside me — now there was only her. I held her hand tightly as black miasma rose from the valley floor below. My strength gave out; I breathed in the poisonous vapor, my chest tightening with nausea, and darkness swallowed my vision as I collapsed. I never let go of her hand. If I could die beside her in these mountain forests, I told myself, I would have no regrets.
A sweet, fragrant liquid slowly cleared my clouded mind. When I opened my eyes, my mouth was pressed to her fingers, drinking from them. I caught her hand and studied it — so her blood could dissolve the miasma’s poison? A tiny cut marked her fingertip, and I teased her, “So stingy — just a little nick on the fingertip?”
She blushed and turned her face away. Tenderness swept through me — she hadn’t fled while I lay unconscious, but had saved me instead. That alone was enough.
Chen Guo had fallen. My father and the nobility of Chen Guo weren’t slaughtered by Ning’s army — my father was named a marquis instead, made a vassal of Ning Guo. He was old and frail now, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I became the Marquis of Chen myself. The thought nearly made me laugh. Marquis of Chen? Once I held that title, that would mark the beginning of Ning Guo’s downfall! All I had to do was hand Qingluo over, return obediently, and wait to become Marquis — trading momentary submission for time to recover, and there would be hope of restoring my kingdom. And yet I found I didn’t want to. My heart was a tangle of contradictions — I couldn’t bear to give up Qingluo.
I fled with her through the mountain forests. Every night, holding her close, I wished the hours would pass more slowly, wished she wouldn’t wake too soon.
Drinking the blood from her cut finger, I told myself: let her go. But another voice inside me said: keep her a little longer, it does no harm to look at her a while more.
Liu Jue came after us with his army. I sat calmly on the mountain, unafraid, because she was beside me. Watching her look so cheerfully unconcerned only angered me further, and I gripped her throat, telling her I meant to kill her.
Qingluo’s expression stayed serene. Eyes closed, she said calmly, “You won’t hurt me.”
My heart went cold with sorrow. She was right — I wouldn’t hurt her. Despite having taken her by force, I had never been this gentle, this careful with anyone in my life. Yet Liu Jue had destroyed my kingdom, killed my elder brother — and here I was, treating her so tenderly. I truly couldn’t forgive myself for it! I cut her off harshly — speaking as much to convince myself as to answer her.
“You’re wrong. I’ve regretted it for a long time now — regretted not obeying my brother’s order to take you hostage from the start. If I hadn’t wanted to let you go that night… If I’d been at Huai City, I never would have retreated in such haste and abandoned that strategic stronghold, letting Liu Jue seize my city’s natural defenses! Now that I’ve taken you away, I’m only waiting for today — waiting for Liu Jue to climb this mountain alone, so I can hold you hostage, make him hesitate, and cut him down with my own blade! I won’t hurt you — only because even at my most ruthless, Chu Nan wouldn’t stoop to killing a defenseless woman! Today, you’ll watch Liu Jue die before your very eyes!”
I struck her acupoints, unwilling to hear her clear voice any longer — it would only soften my resolve again.
Liu Jue climbed the mountain slowly, utterly at ease. I stole a glance at Qingluo — her eyes truly held nothing but him. From the moment he’d appeared, her gaze had locked onto him alone.
My heart felt like a drifting cloud over the mountains, with nowhere to settle. I threatened Liu Jue with Qingluo’s life; he said he’d rather I called in archers to shoot her down cleanly than drag this out.
How could such calculation escape me? Only a fool would fail to see the feeling between him and Qingluo. I feigned a strike, and sure enough, Liu Jue surrendered.
Part of me had desperately hoped he wouldn’t care about Qingluo at all — that way, I’d have had reason to disregard her feelings and carry her far away. But he gave me no such chance.
Consumed with grief and fury, I struck at Liu Jue. However formidable his skill, I found the opening I needed. I knew that with this one stroke, if it didn’t kill him, it would leave him gravely wounded.
I glanced triumphantly toward Qingluo. Her eyes were filled with terror, grief, and fear. The only person who had ever held her heart was Liu Jue — if I killed him now… I closed my eyes, and my strike slowed, just slightly. Between masters of our caliber, even the smallest hesitation could not go unpunished. I knew my own chest would meet Liu Jue’s blade in return.
In the instant my eyes closed, I seemed to see Qingluo again, robes fluttering in the night, smiling brilliantly. A sharp pain slowly spread through my whole body, and I collapsed, my sword falling from my hand.
The sky tilted faintly. From the corner of my eye I caught the sight of two figures locked tightly in an embrace. She’d grown so thin these past days, following me — at night, holding her close, I sometimes felt that one tightening grip could have choked the life from her. Even in the forest at night, countless times I’d held her close as she slept, keeping her warm against the cold. But in the end, it was Liu Jue’s arms she truly wanted.
A mountain breeze drifted past, and my heart, in that instant, grew calm. An empire’s ambitions, a beauty’s dream… I thought of Chen Guo’s gentle rivers and misty lands. Since childhood I’d been heaven’s favored son — yet for her sake, I’d willingly given up my kingdom’s restoration, given up my very life.
If I didn’t die, my elder brother would resent me — though he’d always envied me, he’d never once tried to harm me. My father, now a marquis, would blame me too — he was aging now, and among his sons, only I had the strength to rally Chen Guo’s forces again. If I lived, this blow would kill the one she loved. If I died, everything would be settled.
Dimly, I felt warm tears falling on my face. I forced my eyes open. That beautiful face that had always taken my breath away was so close now. Was she crying for me? I remembered all our days together, our endless quarrels. Every morning she woke in my arms, she’d spare no effort mocking and needling me, and knowing she couldn’t beat me, she’d still throw those clumsy little punches at me in fury. I smiled faintly.
“Thank you.” Her voice was still as lovely as ever. I couldn’t lift my hand, but the tears falling from her face felt like her hand reaching out to hold mine.
My strength was fading fast. Through it all, I’d never once told her that I had, in truth, long since fallen in love with her. Looking at her tear-streaked, jade-fair face, a wave of tenderness and longing rose in me.
“My princess… go home. You — you truly are beautiful… that night… I could… never forget… your smile…”
With the last of my strength, I finally told her what was in my heart. Her tears burned into my chest — perhaps not even the broth of forgetting on the road to the underworld could wash away the mark she’d left on my soul. In my next life, I would surely find her again — however she might appear, the moment she did, my heart would burn warm once more.
I don’t regret taking her. I don’t regret giving up my kingdom’s restoration, giving up my life, for her sake.
Perhaps this was simply how fate meant it to be.