Lin Sui’an was laughing so hard on the inside that her intestines were practically tying themselves in knots.

Mu Xia hung his head and folded his hands, his expression awash with guilt. “Third Young Miss arrived at the residence during the hour of Xu today. At the time, Fourth Young Master, you and the others had all gone to the government office to investigate the case. Third Young Miss said that investigating cases was exhausting work and wanted to host a banquet to reward everyone. Who could have known—”

“Who could have known that she’d get drunk first.” Hua Yitang pressed his fan firmly against his forehead, as though trying to smooth out the furrow between his brows.

Ling Zhiyan: “Hey!”

Fang Ke had retreated to a far corner. Having been kept up past his usual bedtime, his complexion was looking rather dreadful. “Does Hua Family’s Third Young Miss have some kind of strange affliction that no one knows about? Why does she throw herself at whoever she lays eyes on?”

Ita: “Not affliction. Drunk. Bad habit!”

Hua Yitang sighed. “Doctor Fang may not be aware — the moment Third Sister touches alcohol, she flings herself onto people. Once she latches on, she sticks fast and absolutely refuses to let go. Because of this, she even earned herself a nickname among the noble ladies of Yangdu: ‘The Post-Drinking Human Plaster.'”

Ling Zhiyan: “Hey, hey!”

Lin Sui’an remarked with admiration, “Third Young Miss Hua has quite impressive skills — quick and accurate when she launches herself at someone. If you hadn’t reacted so fast, Hua Yitang, I would have nearly been caught too.”

Hua Yitang shook his head helplessly. “Third Sister’s favorite targets are beautiful young ladies and handsome young men. I, Ita, Second Sister, and Mu Xia all got pounced on when we were little. Even now, just thinking about it gives me lingering chills.”

Mu Xia said, “Everyone in the Hua household knows about Third Young Miss’s habit. Whenever Third Young Miss drinks, everyone retreats a safe distance, purely in the interest of self-preservation.”

Ita: “Third Young Miss, should quit drinking.”

Ling Zhiyan: “Hua Yitang!!”

The heavy, sorrowful expression on Hua Yitang’s face vanished in an instant, replaced by gleeful schadenfreude. He snapped his fan open and waved it with cheerful abandon. “Ah, right here! What can I do for you, Sixth Young Master Ling?”

Everyone’s gazes turned in the same direction. They all stuffed their cheeks and fought back their laughter.

Ling Zhiyan stood ramrod straight, his entire body rigid as a stalk of sugarcane. His face was as red as a peach, beads of sweat crowded his forehead like clusters of beans, and the veins along his neck stood out taut and sharp.

Hua Yimeng had her arms locked in a death grip around his neck and her legs coiled around his waist, clinging to him like a koala dangling from a sugarcane stalk. A garbled, wailing sort of sound was coming from her mouth — she seemed to be singing.

In principle, a striking young man and a beautiful young woman pressed together in such a position ought to have carried at least a hint of romantic charm — yet the expressions on both their faces were nothing short of absurd.

Lin Sui’an simply could not hold it in any longer. She burst out laughing.

Hua Yitang: “Hahahahaha!”

Fang Ke, Ita, and Mu Xia all bowed their heads at once, their shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

Ling Zhiyan was about to explode. “Hua Yitang, get your Third Sister off me!”

Hua Yitang circled around Ling Zhiyan once, laughing so hard tears were spilling from his eyes. “Sixth Young Master Ling, it’s not that I won’t help — it’s that there’s simply nothing I can do. Third Sister didn’t earn the nickname ‘Human Plaster’ for nothing. Once she latches onto someone, there is absolutely no getting her off until she sobers up.”

Fang Ke said, “That’s quite the predicament. Third Young Miss Hua drank all the Manbi from Lin Niangzi’s room. She’ll be drunk for at least three or four hours.”

Lin Sui’an: “Wait — what?! The Manbi I had set aside for Qian Jing in my room?!”

Ita counted on his fingers. “Fifteen jars. All gone. Qian Jing, will be angry.”

The jars of Manbi were not large, but their price was outrageous — five gold pieces per jar. Fifteen jars came to seventy-five gold. Lin Sui’an’s laughter died. Her chest ached.

Ling Zhiyan’s fists clenched and unclenched, his jaw tightening and relaxing. “Hua Yitang — are you saying your Third Sister is going to hang off me for an entire night?!”

Hua Yitang replied, “Sixth Young Master, don’t be hasty — allow me to think of a solution.”

Unable to bear the sight any longer, Lin Sui’an stepped forward and gripped Hua Yimeng’s arm, intending to pull her off by force. But at that very moment, Hua Yimeng suddenly whipped her head around and lunged forward with a snap of her teeth. Lin Sui’an was so startled she leapt back, and Hua Yimeng, greatly displeased, tightened her arms in one swift motion — squeezing until Ling Zhiyan’s face went pale.

“Lin Niangzi, don’t even try it!” Mu Xia said urgently. “If you try to force them apart, Third Young Miss will bite!”

With Lin Sui’an’s strength, physically prying the two of them apart would certainly be no great challenge — but there was no guarantee Hua Yimeng and Ling Zhiyan wouldn’t get hurt in the process. Lin Sui’an dared not act rashly and shot Hua Yitang a pointed look.

Hua Yitang tapped his fan against his temple — tap, tap, tap — and circled Ling Zhiyan once more. “At present there is only one option. Third Sister is most afraid of our elder brother. Why don’t I try mimicking Elder Brother’s tone to give her a fright? That might do the trick.”

Ling Zhiyan said through gritted teeth, “Hurry up!”

Hua Yitang cleared his throat, swung his arms, stretched his legs, went through a rather lengthy warm-up, then straightened his spine, gripped his fan tightly, sank his breath into his lower abdomen, and bellowed in a furious voice: “Hua Yimeng! What is the meaning of this?! Release him at once and go to your room to rest!”

Well, it actually worked. Hua Yimeng stopped singing and turned to look at Hua Yitang, her gleaming, liquid eyes sweeping over him once. She smiled — a smile full of languid allure. “Fourth Little Brother, be a good boy and go to sleep. You need your sleep to grow tall.”

With that, she tilted her head and nestled it right back against Ling Zhiyan’s shoulder.

Everyone: “……”

Completely the opposite effect!

The color of Ling Zhiyan’s face right now was a white-tinged red, a red-tinged blue, a blue-tinged purple, a purple-tinged black, a green-tinged, thoroughly outraged shade of humiliated fury. He let out a sudden, sharp shout: “What is the meaning of this?! Get down!”

Hua Yimeng jolted and lifted her head, staring blankly at Ling Zhiyan. Their four eyes met at close range. Ling Zhiyan craned his neck and leaned back slowly, nearly straining his cervical spine, and then — suddenly, Hua Yimeng’s eyes reddened at the rims, and she began to weep with a quiet, mournful air.

Ling Zhiyan felt as though he had been struck by lightning.

“Why are you being so cruel to me…” Hua Yimeng loosened her hands and feet and floated gracefully to the ground, her tear-filled eyes shimmering, her expression one of poignant, delicate sorrow. “How heartless of you—”

With that, she heaved a sigh of operatic proportion, and drifted out of the Autumn Pavilion without a single glance back.

Ling Zhiyan was completely stunned. His expression cycled rapidly — shock, bewilderment, mortified indignation, self-reflection, guilt, a twinge of conscience — until at last he wandered off with a blank, vacant face, stumbling slightly.

Everyone stared, wide-eyed and dumbstruck.

Lin Sui’an: “Had Judicial Inspector Ling met Third Young Miss Hua before?”

Hua Yitang: “Never.”

“But the way Third Young Miss spoke, it sounded as if—”

As if she and the handsome Ling had shared three lifetimes of painful, star-crossed love.

Hua Yitang’s fan went thunk, thunk, thunk against his forehead, beating his own fair, smooth brow red. “Third Sister, I beg of you — please stop stirring up ridiculous entanglements every single time you get drunk!”

Lin Sui’an did not sleep very soundly that night. For one thing, she could not put down the case of Lian Xiaoshuang. For another, she was looking forward to watching the handsome Ling squirm. She drifted in and out of sleep until the third quarter of the hour of Chen, then tumbled out of bed and washed up and headed out the door at top speed.

Hua Yitang adored food above all else, and the three daily meals were the most critical matter in the Hua residence’s entire operation — especially breakfast, which was centered above all on a clear theme and a sense of crisp, refreshing energy. The climate in Yidu was sweltering and damp, with little sunshine and much fog. Eating indoors felt suffocating. Accordingly, Mu Xia had devised a flexible dining plan suited to Yidu’s climate, the most important element of which was selecting a dining location based on the current weather.

The Hua Ninety-Nine Residence was the second largest of all the Hua family’s properties across the country, surpassed only by the main Hua estate in Yangdu. Including the main hall and side halls, it comprised a total of ninety-nine rooms. The grandeur of the main hall went without saying, and the ninety-eight side halls were scattered throughout the estate like stars across the sky — each one scenic and distinct in style, each one vying to outshine the others.

That morning, breakfast was set in the Carved Railing Pavilion on the bank of the Worry-Free Lake. The pavilion lived up to its name — ornate carved railings and jade-like stonework, white columns and green-tiled eaves, one half nestled into the waters of the Worry-Free Lake and the other half hidden among rare and exotic blooms. Drifting morning mist enveloped it on all sides, giving it the air of a celestial dwelling, dreamlike and otherworldly.

It was Lin Sui’an’s first time there, so she had to grab a servant to show her the way. When she arrived and looked around, she realized that the Autumn Pavilion from the night before was only a hundred paces away.

Everyone had already arrived — even Fang Ke was there, cradling a tea bowl with both hands and taking small, careful sips, dark circles under his eyes. Doctor Fang had exceedingly refined tastes and had no patience for Hundred-Blossom Tea, so each day Ita brewed him a separate pot of intensely flavored tea broth. The color varied unpredictably — sometimes orange, sometimes red, sometimes green, sometimes blue, sometimes purple — and the taste encompassed bitter, spicy, sour, sweet, and astringent all at once. The spice formula was Ita’s closely guarded secret. For an ordinary person, one sip was comparable to drinking the Soup of Forgetfulness from the Bridge of Helplessness — sufficient to send one directly to reincarnation.

Lin Sui’an glanced over. Today, Doctor Fang’s tea broth was black, with a layer of white substance floating on the surface that looked somewhat like lard. She silently recited a prayer, picked up her own cup of Hundred-Blossom Tea — amber-clear as a gemstone — and took a sip. Her entire body sighed with contentment.

She had assumed that, being thin-skinned, the handsome Ling would have made his escape to the government office at the crack of dawn. Unexpectedly, Ling Zhiyan was still there, eating away at a steady clip with a furrowed brow, though his expression was one of great internal conflict — as if he wanted to stay but also wanted to flee, and yet couldn’t quite bring himself to flee.

Lin Sui’an looked closely at the dishes set before him and understood immediately. Everything prepared for Ling Zhiyan today was among his most beloved foods — things he ordinarily enjoyed but could never afford. There was Swaying-Light Fine Noodles with imported cane sugar from the south, Celestial Brew made from fresh cow’s milk braised with dove, and Cold Toad Broth, a soup simmered from clams. The sweet was a refreshing Lotus Purple Jade Pearl Cake, and the finale was a fresh lamb soup with flat noodles — rich in carbohydrates, guaranteed to fuel a full day’s energy.

This specially prepared breakfast would cost at least two strings of coins. The famously frugal blood of the Ling clan of Xingyang would not allow him to let it go to waste. Fortunately, everyone tacitly avoided bringing up the previous night’s events, leaving Judicial Inspector Ling a few scraps of dignity intact.

Hua Yitang ate and watched Ling Zhiyan with cheerful amusement, muttering all the while: “Hua always keeps his word. I said I’d fatten you up by five jin, and not a single jin will be spared.”

Lin Sui’an savored a bite of sliced meat with quiet pleasure: Clearly this is an apology for Third Young Miss’s behavior last night — yet he’s too stubborn to admit it, and insists on using such a tedious excuse. Truly a case of what the mouth denies the body cannot hide.

Fang Ke finished a large bowl of tea broth, looking satisfied, and set down his cup. “How is the case progressing?”

Hua Yitang: “The original crime scene and the body disposal site have been located. There are two suspects, both claiming to have alibis. Jin Ruo has already gone to verify them.”

“Where is the original scene?”

“The embroidery room in Lian Xiaoshuang’s residence.”

“Too slow.” Fang Ke’s expression was one of disdain. “What about the investigation into the Peach Blossom Brand?”

Ling Zhiyan: “Today I’ll go look into the files on the Peach Blossom Killer—”

“Good morning, everyone—” Hua Yimeng glided into the Carved Railing Pavilion, her silk wrap shawl trailing behind her like wisps of smoke, the white jade peony sachet at her waist releasing a faint, delicate fragrance.

Ling Zhiyan’s face went white in an instant — then red in the next — as he snatched up a Purple Jade Pearl Cake and fled out the door, not daring to look at Hua Yimeng even once.

Hua Yimeng watched his rapidly receding back with puzzlement. “Who was that just now, the one with the face like a monkey’s backside?!”

Lin Sui’an: “Pfft!”

Hua Yitang propped his fan against his temple. “Sixth Young Master of the Ling clan.”

Hua Yimeng made a sound of realization. “Ah, the sixth son of the Ling clan of Xingyang? I held him as a baby, you know. I remember it was when I was three years old and he had just been born, still wrapped in swaddling clothes—” Hua Yimeng frowned. “But wait, by that time the Hua and Ling families had already fallen out. So how could I possibly have met infant Sixth Young Master Ling—”

Everyone was taken aback.

Good heavens, Lin Sui’an thought. Surely this won’t turn into one of those melodramatic betrothal-in-the-cradle situations?

Hua Yitang muttered under his breath, “Sixth Young Master has suffered enough — being pounced on as a baby was bad enough, but he didn’t escape Third Sister’s clutches even as an adult—”

Hua Yimeng smiled radiantly, her voice as lovely as the sound of celestial music flowing through a winding stream. “Fourth Brother, what are you saying?”

Hua Yitang gave a dry cough and wisely changed the subject. “Third Sister, why have you come to Yidu?”

“Naturally, because of that wretched Hundred-Blossom Tea of yours.” Hua Yimeng produced a packet of tea and tossed it to Ita. Ita opened it, pinched a small amount, and sniffed. His face fell. “This one, a fake!”

Hua Yitang’s eyes lit up. “Oh my, counterfeits appearing already!”

Hua Yimeng rolled her eyes. “Fourth Brother, that expression of yours — ‘delighted that the world is in chaos’ — looks exactly like Elder Brother.”

Lin Sui’an’s internal monologue: Third Young Miss, that eye-rolling expression of yours looks exactly like Hua Yitang.

Hua Yitang: “Is the source of the counterfeit in Yidu?”

Hua Yimeng: “In all likelihood.”

Hua Yitang waved his little fan with satisfaction. “You’ve come at exactly the right time. As Yidu’s Judicial Military Adjutant, searching out counterfeit goods falls squarely within my official duties—”

“Get lost! Don’t you dare meddle!” Hua Yimeng said with disgust. “Every time you get involved, the tiniest, most trivial matter blows up into a catastrophe! I heard you’d only been in Yidu for a few hours yesterday and you’d already stumbled into another case?”

Hua Yitang laughed drily. “I’m just particularly blessed with good fortune.”

Hua Yimeng heaved a long sigh and let her gaze fall meaningfully on Lin Sui’an. “We heard about Fourth Brother’s cases in the Eastern Capital, Guangdu, and Chengxian County in Qingzhou. Throughout it all, we are indebted to Lin Niangzi for watching over him — it is thanks to her that the little wretch managed to keep his life.” She lifted her tea cup. “The entire Hua clan is deeply grateful. Allow me to offer you a cup of tea in lieu of wine, Lin Niangzi — as a token of our thanks!”

Lin Sui’an was overwhelmed and quickly raised her own cup to accept the gesture. “Third Young Miss, you are far too kind. Hua Yitang has helped me greatly as well.”

Hua Yimeng smiled and nodded, then poured another cup and turned to Fang Ke. “Doctor Fang, I would also like to offer you a cup. To have put up with this insufferable little wretch — that could not have been easy. You have worked hard.”

Fang Ke scrambled for his bowl with both hands and said stiffly, “He is indeed insufferable.”

Hua Yimeng raised an eyebrow in surprise — clearly not having anticipated that this was how Fang Ke spoke.

Hua Yitang’s face darkened. Lin Sui’an suppressed a laugh.

Doctor Fang’s sharp tongue never failed to live up to its reputation.

“Though, occasionally,” Fang Ke said, delivering the second half of his sentence with the same bluntness, “he has his reliable moments.”

Hua Yitang snapped his fan open with a crisp sound and began to preen, like a flower that only needs a little sunlight to bloom radiantly.

Hua Yimeng smiled and nodded, then looked around the pavilion. “And where is young Master Jin Ruo?”

“Ah, he went to investigate the case—” Lin Sui’an hadn’t even finished the sentence when Jin Ruo seemed to drop from the sky, rushing in with great energy. He picked up a tea cup and clinked it against Hua Yimeng’s with easygoing camaraderie. “Third Young Miss, you are far too polite. Hua Yitang is still young and inexperienced — being a couple of years older than him, looking out for him is nothing at all.”

Having said his piece, he drained the cup in one go, grabbed two steamed buns, and crammed them both into his mouth, cheeks bulging.

Hua Yitang’s face darkened further. Lin Sui’an worked hard to suppress her laughter.

“Ahem!” Hua Yitang straightened his sleeves and composed himself with an air of authority. “Have the alibis of the Wu brothers been verified?”

“Wu Zhengli’s alibi checks out — on the night of the incident, he was indeed at the home of Fang Eleventh Lady at Hongxiang House,” Jin Ruo said with his mouth still full. “However, Fang Eleventh Lady’s establishment isn’t an ordinary brothel — it’s an underground gambling den. That night, Wu Zhengli and a crowd of his disreputable friends gambled through the entire night without stopping. At least five or six croupiers can vouch for him.”

Lin Sui’an’s brow furrowed: In other words, Wu Zhengli is a gambler.

Hua Yitang gave a contemptuous snort. “Once a man steps foot in a gambling den, he forgets his own father and mother. If Wu Zhengli truly is a gambler, then not a single word out of his mouth can be trusted.”

Lin Sui’an: “What about Wu Zhengqing?”

“The only people who can vouch for Wu Zhengqing are the clerks at the government office — I’m not in a good position to make inquiries.” Jin Ruo stuffed another steamed bun into his mouth. “We’ll have to rely on Adjutant Hua for that.”

Hua Yitang smiled faintly. “Judicial Inspector Ling has already gone. We need only wait for word.”

Lin Sui’an nodded. “Mu Xia, please prepare a gift for me — I need to call on the Yidu branch hall of the Pure Gate.”

Mu Xia: “Yes, Lin Niangzi.”

“Jin Ruo, come with me.”

“Sure thing, Master.” Jin Ruo picked up an entire plateful of steamed buns and tipped them into his robe.

Hua Yitang grew immediately anxious. “I’m coming too.”

“You can’t.” Fang Ke took hold of Hua Yitang. “I want to take a look at Lian Xiaoshuang’s embroidery room, and you’re the Judicial Military Adjutant — take me there.”

Hua Yitang: “Eh?”

“Move it!”

“Wait, hold on — hey, hey, hey, Doctor Fang, don’t grab my sleeve! This outfit is made from Hua Shiyouji fabric — it’s expensive AND delicate AND fragile, one careless moment and it’ll tear!”

The group swept out in a flurry of motion. Hua Yimeng was left sitting with an empty tea cup, a vague sense of desolation settling over her.

“Ita, Fourth Brother has grown up.”

“Mm.”

“Fourth Brother has so many friends now.”

“Mm.”

“Fourth Brother looks very happy.”

“Mm.”

“Yet something about that Sixth Young Master Ling is not quite right — his gaze is evasive, his manner suspicious. He’s clearly guilty of something!”

“And to think, Elder Brother always said not to be fooled by the Ling clan of Xingyang just because they look honest with their thick brows and big eyes — they’re rotten to the core on the inside! Oh dear, my Fourth Brother is so pure and guileless — I pray he is never deceived by that scheming man from the Ling clan!”

Ita had a thousand cutting remarks bottled up inside and not nearly enough command of the Tang tongue to say a single one. Left with no outlet for his suppressed exasperation, he stirred it all into the thick, gloopy tea broth:

Thick-browed, big-eyed Sixth Young Master Ling really is a good man!

Side Story

Ling Zhiyan: Achoo, achoo, achoo! Strange — could it be that I caught a chill from the nightmare last night?