The next day, by the time the first ray of sunlight fell upon the golden bells of the Hua Family’s magnificent carriage, the glorious tale of Qian Jing’s master Lin Sui’an battling the Greatest Thief Under Heaven Yun Zhong Yue for five hundred rounds and shaving half the Hua estate bald had already made its way into the mouths of every man, woman, and child in the city — and for good measure, it had branched into several different versions.

“Qu Hui, wife of Wu Zhengli, was born into a scholarly household. When her family fell into poverty, she was compelled to marry Wu Zhengli, the Wu Family’s household head, in order to support her family’s livelihood. But this Wu Zhengli was an absolutely worthless creature — he abused his wife day and night until she was barely human, barely ghost. Yun Zhong Yue, though known as the Greatest Thief Under Heaven, is in truth a good-hearted thief of justice. Having stumbled upon Wu Zhengli’s misdeeds by chance, he acted as any righteous soul would and rescued Madam Wu.” Jin Ruo grabbed a piece of white sugar cake and shoved it in his mouth, holding up one finger. “This is version one.”

Hua Yitang swayed with the motion of the carriage, chewing his steamed bun at a leisurely pace. “Pfft — that is obviously made up by Yun Zhong Yue himself.”

“Don’t rush — there is more.” Jin Ruo swallowed his second piece of white sugar cake. “But Yun Zhong Yue is a wandering man of the rivers and lakes — having a woman along for his travels is quite inconvenient. He planned to quietly deliver Madam Wu to Military Advisor Hua’s quarters, only to startle the master of Qian Jing, Lin Sui’an. Two great masters who couldn’t stand the sight of each other immediately set to fighting in a dreadful brawl. Fortunately, when great masters cross blows, they exercise restraint — no one was injured, and Madam Wu was safely delivered to the Hua estate.”

Lin Sui’an’s review: “The plot is mediocre. Not a single interesting detail.”

Ling Zhiyan accepted the Cup of a Hundred Blossoms Tea that Yita passed to him and took a sip. “Setting aside the how, the outcome at least roughly conforms to the facts.”

“Who says no one was injured!” Hua Yitang said through gritted teeth. “Yun Zhong Yue caused half the scholar trees in the Ninety-Nine-Residence Estate to end up like that bare-headed nuisance Chen Fanfan — a tremendous loss!”

Everyone: “……”

Those scholar trees were chopped down by Lady Lin herself, if we recall correctly…

“Version two,” Jin Ruo said, raising a second finger. “Qu Hui and Yun Zhong Yue are in fact a pair of great thieves — one male, one female — roaming the rivers and lakes. They intended to break into the Hua Family’s treasure vault and steal its secret treasure. Unexpectedly, they were caught in the act by the vault’s guardian, Lin Sui’an. Lin Sui’an immediately captured Qu Hui, while Yun Zhong Yue escaped on his own. As the saying goes — though husband and wife are birds perched on the same branch, when disaster strikes each flies its own way —”

Lin Sui’an said, “This version has creativity! It has that rivers-and-lakes spirit!”

Ling Zhiyan said, “What secret treasure does the Hua Family possess?”

Hua Yitang said with great satisfaction, “The Hua Family’s greatest treasure is naturally the celebrated Hua Family Fourth Young Master!”

Ling Zhiyan’s brow gave a single twitch. He decided it was best to simply sit quietly and drink his tea.

Jin Ruo raised a third finger. “Version three: because Madam Wu possesses face-toppling beauty, both the Greatest Thief Under Heaven Yun Zhong Yue and Yi Du’s newly appointed Judicial Military Advisor, Fourth Young Master Hua, fell for her at first sight. Yun Zhong Yue struck first, abducting Madam Wu. Fourth Young Master Hua erupted in fury, and immediately dispatched his subordinates’ foremost expert, the master of Qian Jing, Lin Sui’an, to do battle with Yun Zhong Yue at the banks of Mochou Lake. She gave Yun Zhong Yue a thorough thrashing and brought Madam Wu back. Then the two star-crossed lovers, reunited after long separation, broke down and wept in each other’s arms, tears streaming into Mochou Lake…”

Ling Zhiyan let out an involuntary spray of tea. Hua Yitang crushed the steamed bun in his hand. Lin Sui’an gave a big thumbs up. “This version is the most magnificent of all!”

“All of you, be quiet!” Fang Ke, curled up in the corner catching up on sleep, grumbled, “Another word out of any of you and I’ll chop up your hearts, livers, spleens, lungs, and kidneys and pack them all into the jade glass tank!”

Everyone instantly fell silent, furiously signaling to Yita with their eyes.

Yita had come prepared, offering up the pre-readied Infernal Tea. Fang Ke took a long sip, and his morning foul temper did indeed dissipate somewhat.

Mu Xia, driving the carriage, gave a “Whoa” and brought it to a halt. “Yitang, we have arrived at the prefectural office.”

In all the many days since Hua Yitang’s arrival in Yi Du, he had been buried under one murder case after another, perpetually frazzled and overwhelmed — either burning through the night oil or reporting early to the office by several hours. Today was the first time he had arrived exactly on schedule, just in time for the stream of chief advisors, clerks, officials, subordinates, and officers of the Night Watch reporting in for duty.

Patrol Captain Wu Da spotted Hua Yitang first and immediately stood to attention and saluted. The officers of the Night Watch and the subordinate officials were also well acquainted with Hua Yitang by now, and called out greetings one after another. Wu Zhengli looked somewhat haggard, with two enormous dark circles under his eyes, as though he had not slept all night. He exchanged a perfunctory greeting with the other advisory officials — those of the Personnel and Finance divisions — and then hurried off toward his own office, his retreating figure drooping and dejected, his steps heavy — no different from the overworked and miserable salaried worker of the modern era.

Wu Da followed to the Judicial Office, saying he had important matters to report. He had barely set one foot through the door when he saw Fang Ke pulling the jade glass tank out of a bundle with an expression of deep, undisguised affection, proceeding to clean it inside and out with meticulous care.

Wu Da’s face went green — the exact same shade as the official robe on Hua Yitang’s body.

Hua Yitang settled into his seat behind the writing desk and rapidly flipped through the case files laid out before him. “Patrol Captain Wu, what is your business?”

Wu Da forced himself to look away and cupped his fists in salute. “Reporting to Military Advisor Hua — you previously instructed your subordinate to investigate whether anyone in the Red Fragrance Quarter recognizes Lian Xiaoshuang. Your subordinate and his brothers have conducted inquiries over several days and have finally found some leads.”

Oh! Lin Sui’an thought — it seems the subordinate officials of the prefectural office have finally come to terms with reality and are preparing to offer Hua Yitang their cooperation.

Ling Zhiyan immediately walked over and took a seat just below Hua Yitang.

Hua Yitang lifted his eyes. “Speak.”

“The Red Fragrance Quarter has fifty-seven registered pleasure establishments on file with the authorities — virtually every one keeps courtesans and musicians. However, after we conducted inquiries with Lian Xiaoshuang’s portrait, we found that no one recognized her, which is very strange —” Wu Da furrowed his brow. “Afterward, we tracked down longtime brokers of the Red Fragrance Quarter, and one of them — a broker by the name of Sun Jiupo — recognized the portrait. She said the person in the painting resembled a young girl she had sold some ten years ago.”

Ling Zhiyan said, “Did the young girl have a name?”

Wu Da shook his head. “Too much time has passed — Sun Jiupo could not remember. She only recalled that the little girl at the time had lost all ten fingernails, all of them bloody, and her eyes were blank and empty. She seemed unlikely to fetch a good price.”

Lin Sui’an’s heart lurched. She recalled the scene from Lian Xiaoshuang’s golden finger — bloody fingers digging into the earth, all the nails worn away. Could it be that this was not a hallucination caused by Longshen Fruit, but a scene that had truly existed?

Wu Da said, “Following the trail step by step, we traced the young girl as she was passed through several different households. In the end, she was sold to a foreign entertainers’ house. When that establishment later went under, the dancers and musicians inside were sold on again to the Eternal Daylight Pavilion.”

Hua Yitang narrowed his eyes. “The Eternal Daylight Pavilion where Minina performed?”

Wu Da nodded, his expression somewhat heavy. “After Minina’s death last night, your subordinate felt that something about this case was suspicious and went to the Eternal Daylight Pavilion for inquiries that very night. I learned that before Minina rose to prominence, there had been a pipa player who accompanied her performances year after year — one of tremendous skill. Minina and this pipa player were as close as sisters, living and eating together, and Minina was extremely protective of her. Every time they appeared, Minina required the pipa player to conceal her face behind a veil and a wide-brimmed hat, so very few people ever caught a glimpse of her face.”

Ling Zhiyan said, “Not a single person saw it?”

“And this is the strangest part of all.” Wu Da said, “Two years ago, Minina rose to fame overnight and became the Eternal Daylight Pavilion’s headline performer — but that pipa player suddenly vanished. Afterward, the Eternal Daylight Pavilion’s old proprietor dismissed all the old members of the establishment, and the new proprietor, musicians, and performers who came afterward knew almost nothing of this pipa player — and no one among them had ever seen her face.”

Hua Yitang said, “What of the old proprietor?”

“He passed away six months ago.”

“And the dismissed members?”

“Most were foreign nationals — some returned to their homelands, others disappeared without a trace. Tracking them down would take considerable effort.”

“In other words,” Lin Sui’an said, “if this pipa player is indeed Lian Xiaoshuang, then Minina was the only one who had seen her face and knew her origins.”

Ling Zhiyan said, “But now Minina is dead as well.”

Hua Yitang’s fingers tapped the desk — tap, tap, tap. “Refusing to let anyone see the pipa player’s face, then dismissing all the old members… it is as though someone deliberately wanted to —”

All three said at once: “Erase all trace of the pipa player’s existence.”

Having said it, the three looked at each other — and simultaneously furrowed their brows.

“What progress has been made in investigating the three embroidery shops Lian Xiaoshuang frequented?” Hua Yitang asked again.

“All three are ordinary embroidery shops conducting legitimate business — nothing unusual.” Wu Da said, “We are currently working through the list of regular customers at the shops.”

Hua Yitang nodded and dismissed Wu Da.

“Who knew the subordinates and officers of the Night Watch actually have some use,” Jin Ruo muttered, “At least we don’t have to have our Pure Gate do absolutely everything ourselves.”

Hua Yitang put on a placating smile he might direct at a small child. “The subordinates and Night Watch officers can only look into surface-level matters. For the crucial, hidden leads — naturally, we still rely on our dear little Jin Ruo.”

Jin Ruo made a deeply disgusted face. “Go away, go away — don’t talk to me in that tone of voice. Absolutely revolting.”

Dong, dong, dong, dong — The drum outside rang out. Everyone tensed and rose simultaneously.

Qu Hui had arrived at the prefectural office.

Prefect Chi had spent the entire night plagued by nightmares — the moment he closed his eyes, Minina’s body hanging from the rafters appeared before him. That morning, he had even discovered a clump of fallen hair on his pillow, and found himself thinking involuntarily of the President of the Court of Judicial Review, Chen Yanfan — that gleaming forehead, that tragic hairline. Could it be that he was about to follow in the footsteps of the Court President?

Prefect Chi, full of grievance that only heaven could understand, dragged himself reluctantly out of bed. He had barely managed two mouthfuls of millet congee when the complaint drum of the prefectural office sounded again. He threw down his bowl and rushed to the great hall. When he looked up — he found Judicial Inspector Ling, Military Advisor Hua, and Lady Lin were already there, all of them waiting with expectant eyes for him to convene the session.

These people — did they not sleep or eat at all? This was going to be the death of any ordinary living soul!

Prefect Chi’s heart a pit of gloom known only to the heavens, he could only straighten his official robes, sit upright in the great hall, and bring down the gavel. “Who comes here to file a complaint — bring them in!”

After three rounds of the ceremonial shouts had been called, Wu Da escorted a woman to the hall. At first Prefect Chi thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. He rubbed at his eyelids and looked — the woman was none other than Wu Zhengli’s wife Qu Hui, entirely unharmed. But all manner of earlier evidence had seemed to clearly indicate that she had been killed by Wu Zhengli —

Qu Hui dropped to her knees with a thud, presenting her written petition with both hands outstretched. “This commoner, Qu Hui, has been married to Wu Zhengli for ten years. I have observed proper conduct and managed the household diligently, yet Wu Zhengli is addicted to gambling, a destroyer of family property, and violent in his cruelty. He has inflicted violence upon this commoner day after day, rendering my life a misery worse than death. Today I present myself before this court to seek justice, requesting the Prefect to rule that my marriage with Wu Zhengli be lawfully dissolved, so that from this day forward we shall part ways and have no further connection!”

Having spoken, she kowtowed deeply, her shoulders trembling uncontrollably.

Prefect Chi gestured for an officer to bring the petition forward, read it carefully from beginning to end, clucked his lips once, and drew Hua Yitang and Ling Zhiyan to the side of the desk, lowering his voice. “Military Advisor Hua, Judicial Inspector Ling — what on earth is going on here?”

Hua Yitang said, “Lady Qu was indeed abducted by Yun Zhong Yue.”

Prefect Chi: “Hm?”

Ling Zhiyan said, “Last night, Lady Lin fought Yun Zhong Yue in battle and rescued Lady Qu.”

Prefect Chi: “Oh?”

Hua Yitang said, “The matter has caused quite a stir throughout the city — has Prefect Chi not heard?”

Prefect Chi said, “This… this official has been occupied with pressing duties and had not yet had occasion to inquire… Ah, so that is the situation — good, good! So long as no one has died, all is well!”

Hua Yitang and Ling Zhiyan returned to their seats. Prefect Chi cleared his throat. “Qu Hui, your plight moves this official deeply. What you have requested is also in keeping with the provisions of the Tang Code. This official shall rule today that your marriage to Wu Zhengli be dissolved by compulsory separation. Wu Zhengli is to return all of Qu Hui’s dowry in full — anything missing or deficient must be compensated in silver. In addition, he must pay Qu Hui fifty strings of copper cash in compensation. Someone — have Wu Zhengli sign the dissolution document!”

The attending clerk immediately brought the pre-prepared dissolution document to Wu Zhengli. Wu Zhengli’s eyes swept across it, his eyeballs nearly bulging from their sockets. He began to struggle frantically. “I will not sign! Qu Hui is mine in life, mine in death — she shall never leave me for as long as she lives!”

Wu Da, without ceremony, seized Wu Zhengli’s hand, forcibly pried open his fingers, and pressed them into the seal ink, then stamped a fingerprint firmly onto the dissolution document. The clerk carried the document to Qu Hui. Qu Hui wiped away her tears, did not spare Wu Zhengli a single glance, and pressed her own fingerprint down cleanly.

Wu Zhengli let out a howl of heartbreak, and was slammed back down onto the floor by the guards.

Prefect Chi examined the dissolution document, nodded with satisfaction, and gestured for the clerk to take it away for archiving. “Wu Zhengli, this official reminds you: from this moment forward, Qu Hui has not the slightest connection to you. Should you harass her further, this official will not be lenient! You are to deliver Qu Hui’s dowry and the compensation funds to the Qu Family within three days — is that clear?!”

Wu Zhengli was held down by the guards, chest to the floor, neck craned upward. He said not a word, only glaring at Prefect Chi with reddened eyes.

Prefect Chi let out a sigh. “Master Wu is still in his prime years, and the Wu Family is a noble household of some standing. Return home, reflect on your conduct, and be a better man. As they say — a great man need not fear failing to find a wife.”

Jin Ruo made a strange noise in his throat. Lin Sui’an rolled her eyes straight up to the heavens.

Hua Yitang slanted his gaze at Wu Zhengli and muttered under his breath, “Oh my — a man who cannot perform his marital duties — what is the point of marrying a wife? He might as well enter the palace and become a eunuch — he might still carve out a career for himself, and it would save the trouble of the castration process. Ah — but I have just remembered: today a female Emperor sits upon the throne, and the eunuch system has long since been abolished. What a pity, what a pity — a talent with nowhere to display its worth.”

The Yi Du prefectural office’s great hall was built imposingly broad and wide, with excellent acoustics — Hua Yitang’s words drifted and echoed around the chamber in a leisurely circuit, producing a reverberating effect that lingered long after the sound had faded. Everyone’s expression was, to say the least, somewhat difficult to describe.

Lin Sui’an and Jin Ruo both turned to look at him simultaneously: You are the most cutting one of all!

Wu Zhengli’s neck veins bulged violently. He stared fixedly at the floor, fingernails scraping the ground with sharp cracks — as though he wanted to dig a hole to disappear into.

Prefect Chi gave a dry cough. “In any case — this matter is settled. Wu Zhengli, you may return home —”

“Hold!” Ling Zhiyan suddenly rose to his feet. “There is still another case that remains unresolved for Wu Zhengli — he cannot leave!”

Prefect Chi was taken aback. “Wh— what case?”

Ling Zhiyan’s eyes were dark and piercing as electricity. “The case of the Wu Family’s cloth shop trafficking in Longshen Fruit!”

Skit

Hua Yitang: Here it comes — Ling the Sixth Young Master is about to unleash his fury.

Lin Sui’an: Bring out the melon seeds!