Lin Yingtao left, saying “I’ll pour some water for you to drink.” Jiang Qiaoxi lowered his head, stroking the cat in his hands. This kitten had seen him before and meowed softly upon seeing him, making one reluctant to part with it.
Lin Yingtao’s bedroom was indeed much neater than when she was young. Jiang Qiaoxi looked up, and at first glance, the four walls were clean, without wallpaper, unlike when they were young in Qunshan where cartoon stickers and celebrity posters were everywhere.
Lin Yingtao’s bed wasn’t big, with the quilt folded into a plump square. Jiang Qiaoxi’s hand wasn’t very comfortable, so he let the kitten jump onto the bedsheet.
Behind was a desk. Apart from a lamp and a miscellaneous box, there were just some books piled up messily. Jiang Qiaoxi’s mind was still chaotic and agitated as if a woman’s piercing scream accompanied by crying might burst out at any moment. He saw a thick notebook placed on Lin Yingtao’s desk, with a cover he seemed to have seen before – a group of pink rabbits living with pink and white elephants. There was a pen stuck in the notebook, and Jiang Qiaoxi casually opened it with his bandaged hand.
“I never want to think of Jiang Qiaoxi again!”
A sentence suddenly appeared before his eyes.
“Jiang Qiaoxi kissed me. November 1, 2006.”
Jiang Qiaoxi instantly closed the notebook. At that moment, the door behind him opened, and Lin Yingtao came in carrying two bottles of red cola. The aroma of hotpot wafted in from outside, and Jiang Zheng’s low voice could be heard: “I’ve been to so many construction sites since, but I’ve never eaten jujube steamed buns better than Juan’s…”
Lin Yingtao pushed the door closed with her back, smiling as if Uncle Jiang’s praise of her mother’s cooking skills made her proud too. She didn’t notice the change in Jiang Qiaoxi’s expression, handed him a can of cola, then sat on the edge of the bed and opened her own.
Snow-white foam bubbled up, and she immediately lowered her head to take a sip, her expression full of satisfaction. She still loved sweet soda as much as when she was little.
Yet unlike when she was young, she no longer exaggerated in front of Jiang Qiaoxi, whining “Cola tastes so good.”
Jiang Qiaoxi looked up, silently watching her.
Why, he couldn’t help but wonder. Why, every time “Jiang Qiaoxi” hurt her, could he so quickly receive almost selfless feedback from her?
Lin Qile’s cherry-like eyes suddenly met Jiang Qiaoxi’s gaze fixed on her.
“I’ll open it for you,” she said.
She thought Jiang Qiaoxi’s hand was injured, so he couldn’t even open a can of cola.
“Why don’t you have those posters on your wall anymore?” Jiang Qiaoxi suddenly asked.
Lin Qile also looked up.
“They were torn by the workers when we moved,” she said, handing the cola back to him. “I didn’t buy new ones after that.”
“Why didn’t you buy new ones?” Jiang Qiaoxi asked.
Lin Qile pouted slightly. “I was so focused on studying, I forgot,” she said. “Besides, I don’t have any celebrities I particularly like anymore…”
The little girl who used to cry about math problems being too hard and beg for his homework to copy had become a “good student” who could get into the provincial experimental school. What kind of changes had occurred in Lin Qile, for Jiang Qiaoxi…
Lin’s mother pushed open the door from outside, bringing another bowl that looked like she had just prepared some more hotpot ingredients. She brought it over: “Why aren’t you two eating yet? It’s going to get cold!”
Jiang Qiaoxi suddenly lowered his head, feeling ashamed even in front of Aunt Juan.
Lin Qile took the bowl from her mother, saying softly, “Jiang Qiaoxi’s hand is bandaged, give him a spoon.”
“Oh, alright, I’ll go get one,” Lin’s mother said.
“No need, Auntie,” Jiang Qiaoxi quickly raised his head and said, “I’m fine.”
Lin’s mother left. The two young ones sat together eating the prepared hotpot dishes.
“What’s wrong?” Lin Qile asked tentatively.
Jiang Qiaoxi lowered his head, holding the bowl with his injured hand and using chopsticks in the other to pick up a slippery fish ball.
“Are your parents… unhappy again?” Lin Qile asked.
“They’re never happy,” Jiang Qiaoxi said.
Lin Qile said, “But didn’t you do well in the exam?”
“What’s the use of doing well in exams.”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe when I’m thirty or forty,” Jiang Qiaoxi looked up, his eyes showing a rare moist gleam, “they’ll still think I’m lacking here and there, not as good as my brother who might not have died, never able to make them fully satisfied.”
He had a face that drew people to gaze at him.
Lin Qile was stunned for a moment, put down her bowl and chopsticks, and nervously said, “Do you want to read some manga…”
She walked around Jiang Qiaoxi, crouched down to the lower shelf of the bookcase, and searched hard: “Du Shang bought it last time and left it here, they all like to read it.”
A crumpled manga book called “Pirate Luffy” was stuffed into Jiang Qiaoxi’s hands.
Jiang Qiaoxi put down his bowl and chopsticks, took it, and casually flipped through it. The text in this manga was very small and the printing was poor.
“Du Shang and Yu Qiao cried their eyes out reading this!” Lin Qile said seriously.
Jiang Qiaoxi said, “Then why give it to me to read?”
Lin Qile stood in front of him, suddenly smiling: “Du Shang said when you’re feeling down, reading this can make you cry and forget everything!”
Jiang Qiaoxi was silent for a moment.
“Yingtao,” he swallowed and looked up, “have you cried many times?”
Lin Qile clutched her pajama pants, suddenly not knowing how to answer.
Lin’s mother pushed open the door from outside, catching the two children, one standing and one sitting, in a moment when neither was speaking. She said softly, “Qiaoxi, have you finished eating?”
Jiang Zheng put on his coat and walked to the door of Lin Qile’s bedroom. He frowned, peering through the door crack to see Lin Haifeng’s daughter standing there, while his son Jiang Qiaoxi sat in her chair, giving off an air of taking over as the host.
“I’m leaving first,” he said to those inside, tucking his cigarettes into his pocket. “You finish your meal and help your uncle and aunt clean up the table before you leave.”
Jiang Zheng went down the stairs, lighting a cigarette and holding it in his mouth. He still hadn’t received a text from Liang Hongfei. After so many years of marriage, he knew exactly when Liang Hongfei would burst out with what kind of curses she would call when she would text.
For some reason, he had a bad feeling.
When he reached the bottom of Building 23, Jiang Zheng still had the newly lit cigarette in his mouth. He opened the door to the stairwell, where there was no light. He sniffed.
He quickly stubbed out his cigarette and grabbed the handrail to go upstairs. Jiang Zheng entered the house and turned to look at the kitchen. “Liang Hongfei!” he called out. His wife was lying flat on the living room sofa, motionless.
Liang Hongfei’s long hair was scattered on her shoulders, the front of her cashmere sweater was covered in tear stains, and her wrinkled eyes were tightly closed. Jiang Zheng walked forward, feeling the world spinning. He grabbed the woman’s arms, struggling to drag her out of the living room, out of the house, and down the stairs from the fourth floor to the third floor.
“Liang Hongfei,” he shook her shoulders hysterically, “Xiao Fei… Xiao Fei!!”
Everyone at school had heard.
Jiang Qiaoxi, the national award winner in the math olympiad, admitted to Tsinghua University, had entered the national training team shortlist. He was the only such figure from the entire Experimental School, and with his talent, he could even become a world champion.
“But for some reason, he no longer wants to touch the math olympiad.”
For many days, he hadn’t come to school. There were rumors that something had happened in his family. Others said that school leaders and leaders from the city and provincial education departments had all gone to his home, taking turns to work on Jiang Qiaoxi’s ideological thinking.
Geniuses are always willful and stubborn. In the eyes of others, it’s too easy for them to get what they want. That’s why they give up so easily.
Lin Qile was still working on her physics paper during the break. After finishing the last question, she put down her pen, finally feeling able to breathe a sigh of relief. She unscrewed her water bottle to drink, her head aching badly, her temples throbbing. She thought about checking the answers and correcting mistakes during the last self-study class.
Qin Yeyun ran upstairs to find her. Lin Qile went out, and the two girls walked through the campus together, passing through the square with Confucius’ statue, and strolling past the small white building.
Qin Yeyun played with her braided pigtail and said, “I heard Jiang Qiaoxi’s mother is paralyzed.”
Lin Qile’s face changed: “What? Don’t scare me!”
Qin Yeyun lowered her voice: “It’s true, I heard it from someone who came to buy things at my house.”
Lin Qile felt a surge of anxiety. She entered the school supermarket with Qin Yeyun. Qin Yeyun flipped through newly arrived magazines on the bookshelf outside, “Cool Light Music” or “Xinlei Story 100”. Qin Yeyun spent most of her pocket money on these, and of course, she would also buy a copy of “Contemporary Sports” or even the latest issue of “Sports Weekly” to give to Yu Qiao in advance.
Lin Qile took out her phone from her pocket. She stood outside the supermarket and sent a text message.
After a while, her father replied.
“Qiaoxi’s mother is fine, she’s already been discharged and is back home. Yingtao, there have been a lot of rumors in the headquarters recently. Don’t listen to them, and especially don’t spread them. It’s not good for Qiaoxi’s family.”
Lin Qile suddenly felt relieved.
This was just another “rumor” after all.
One day in late November, Jiang Qiaoxi suddenly came to school. The class was in session when he entered through the back door, not making much noise. He put down his backpack, pulled out the chair, and sat down.
Lin Qile was listening to the lesson at the front when Yu Qiao kicked her chair from behind. She turned around.
Jiang Qiaoxi’s desk was clean, with only a conspicuous water bottle on it. Jiang Qiaoxi sat in his chair for a while, staring at the bottle. He picked it up, unscrewed it, and steam rose from the water inside.
Jiang Qiaoxi lowered his head, gently blew on it, and took a big sip.
As soon as class ended, before Fei Linge could stand up, the class sports representative Yu Qiao suddenly left his seat and came straight to Jiang Qiaoxi’s desk.
Jiang Qiaoxi had always been studying for competitions, so his desk was in the last row, and he had no deskmate. Yu Qiao pulled up a chair and sat in front of him.
“How did you come this morning?” Yu Qiao asked.
Jiang Qiaoxi blinked, seeing that Cai Fangyuan had also come over. “I took a taxi,” he said.
Yu Qiao laughed.
“You’ve never taken a bus before, have you?”
Jiang Qiaoxi also smiled: “I was in a hurry this morning.”
Fei Linge had already found it inconceivable when he heard that Jiang Qiaoxi had given up the precious opportunity to enter the national training team – after all, he and Jiang Qiaoxi had been in competition classes together since elementary school, countless winters and summers, countless days and nights, working so hard until now.
Now, he watched as Jiang Qiaoxi chatted and laughed softly with Yu Qiao, someone he hardly ever talked to in class.
“Then let’s go home together after school!” Cai Fangyuan suggested, standing by Jiang Qiaoxi’s desk.
Jiang Qiaoxi hesitated: “I have something to do today.”
“What is it?” Yu Qiao frowned.
“I need to… go to the bookstore,” Jiang Qiaoxi said.
The largest Xinhua Bookstore in the provincial capital was located on the pedestrian street in the city center. Lin Qile, carrying her backpack, threw away her empty milk tea. She and Qin Yeyun ran at the front, while Yu Qiao and the other boys walked behind.
Du Shang was among the group, looking a bit awkward. Unlike Cai Fangyuan and Yu Qiao, he couldn’t say a word to Jiang Qiaoxi.
“What are you doing? Let’s go,” Yu Qiao kept turning back to urge him.
Qin Yeyun wanted to browse the youth romance novels on the first floor, while Yu Qiao and Jiang Qiaoxi went upstairs to buy reference books and study materials.
Lin Qile stayed downstairs with Qin Yeyun. She picked up a copy of “Summer of Bubbles” to look at, then put it back down. Qin Yeyun mentioned that a novel was very popular among the girls in the liberal arts class recently, read on electronic dictionaries: “It’s called ‘Phoenix in the Nine Heavens’! The bookstore doesn’t seem to have it, do you want to read it? I can send it to you!”
Lin Qile was a bit distracted. She leaned against the bookshelf, surrounded by a dazzling array of books, but she only wanted to quickly go upstairs.
Yu Qiao sat cross-legged in the aisle, flipping through a newly published thick hardcover color atlas of World War II military aircraft. As soon as Qin Yeyun came upstairs, she immediately darted to Yu Qiao’s side, sitting next to him to tease him.
Lin Qile searched for that person’s shadow above the numerous bookshelves.
He was very tall and easy to find.
Jiang Qiaoxi occasionally took books down from the shelves, flipped through the contents for a moment, and then put them back. Cai Fangyuan said from the side, “You just need to buy some SAT books, right? Do you need to study for TOEFL?”
Jiang Qiaoxi said softly, “Just taking a look.” He took another book down from the shelf, his fingers just opening it.
Through the gap behind the book, Lin Yingtao was looking up at him with her big eyes, standing on tiptoe on the opposite side, watching him at some point.
Cai Fangyuan noticed that Jiang Qiaoxi had stopped looking at the book and was looking up at the bookshelf. Jiang Qiaoxi suddenly smiled, not looking like a math genius at all.
Du Shang sat cross-legged in the aisle, resting his face on his hand, listening to Qin Yeyun pestering Yu Qiao with boredom. Then he saw Cai Fangyuan walking towards him with a look of despair, rolling his eyes dramatically.
Jiang Qiaoxi bought quite a few books, some in his backpack and some in a bag. He wanted to go back to school first, perhaps not wanting to take the books home. Sitting in the last row of the bus, he said, “You guys go back first.”
Yu Qiao sat beside him and said, “Let’s go together. We’re heading the same way anyway.”
Jiang Qiaoxi pushed open the classroom door and turned on the lights. He returned to his desk and took out stacks of books and papers from the drawer. Rolls of paper filled with mathematical solutions wrapped around textbooks like a bundle soaked with blood and sweat. Among these materials was a black-covered novel.
“Beneath the Wheel.”
Jiang Qiaoxi lowered his head, took out this book, placed it on top of the textbooks, and casually opened the cover.
He remembered that he had never finished reading this book. A photograph was tucked inside, serving as a bookmark.
It was 1996, and six-year-old Jiang Qiaoxi had won a gold medal in the provincial primary school Olympic Mathematics Competition. His mother, overcome with joy, hugged the then-innocent Jiang Qiaoxi and took this cheek-to-cheek photograph on the award podium.
Jiang Qiaoxi threw all the papers and textbooks into the trash bin in the corner of the classroom, then took out his newly purchased books from the bag and placed them in his drawer.
He turned off the lights, and the classroom suddenly darkened. As Jiang Qiaoxi left the classroom, he saw Yu Qiao and the others waiting for him at the stairway. Qin Yeyun was showing Lin Qile her newly bought novel, titled “Youth is an Invalid Letter.” Jiang Qiaoxi walked up to Lin Qile, glanced down at her, and they descended the stairs together.
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Our Generation – Chapter Notes:
“One Piece”: A Japanese manga series written and illustrated by Eiichiro Oda, serialized in Weekly Shōnen Jump since 1997.
“Cool Light Music”: A Japanese and Korean entertainment magazine, priced at 10 yuan, which ceased publication on March 25, 2013.
“Xinlei Story100”: A youth literature magazine, priced at 8.8 yuan, which ceased publication in June 2013.
“Summer of Foam”: A romance novel by writer Ming Xiaoxi, published by New World Press in 2006.
“Phoenix in the Nine Heavens”: A boys’ love novel by writer Feng Nong, published by Wei Xiang Culture in 2004. Qin Yeyun’s use of a digital assistant to read the text file is a limitation of the era; don’t follow her example.
“Beneath the Wheel”: An educational novel by German author Hermann Hesse, with strong pessimistic overtones. The title comes from the headmaster’s warning to the young protagonist, Hans Giebenrath, to study hard lest he be crushed beneath the wheel.
“Youth is an Invalid Letter”: A long youth novel by writer Luo Luo, first published in February 2005.