The blue cloth curtain was suddenly pulled aside, bringing with it a cool breeze. The misty white fog dispersed, clearly revealing the profile of the handsome man behind the curtain. He was stern yet elegant, his full head of black, supple hair tied back with a jewel-studded band, naturally draped over his smooth shoulders. The faint glow from the nearby brazier cast upon his exposed skin, reflecting a golden hue.
His sword-like lips curled up as he formed a knowing yet playful smile at the corner of his mouth, turning slightly: “Just slipped while walking… Cang Cang, Min Min, why is there blood on your chests?”
No answer came from across the room. They watched as a drop of water slid down from his fog-dampened temple, trailing past his long, slanting eyebrows, his smiling eyes, his cliff-like cheeks, then dripping onto his muscled chest. The droplet glinted once, sliding down his broad, firm chest like a small stream persistently continuing downward. Further down, past the flat, warm abdomen, was another breathtaking body.
In his arms, he held a naked young man. The man was unconscious, his bloodless thin lips pressed tightly together, his eyelashes as long as butterfly wings resting peacefully together, his brow elegant and naturally relaxed, his long hair not tied up but falling slightly disheveled in the handsome man’s arms.
His body was tall and slender, appearing somewhat thin, his skin rather pale, emanating a warm luster in the firelight. If the handsome man was a golden chalice, then he was a piece of white jade.
A gentleman is like jade – jade’s radiance neither dazzles nor enchants, yet no matter how brilliant the jewels surrounding it, jade always emits a gentle, subtle glow, radiating its own modest yet undeniable brilliance.
Therefore, suddenly seeing such a naked male body, your heart would quietly fill with an inexplicable serenity, as if gazing so impolitely at a naked man was not only not sinful, but rather as refined as sharing wine while admiring flowers or engaging in scholarly discourse between fishermen and woodcutters.
…
Kumol was facing Min Jia and me, looking at us with a smile.
Min Jia had long since covered her nose, eyes wide, standing like a statue.
I came to my senses first, chuckling as I turned to grab Min Jia and look at her seriously: “Min Jia, doesn’t Xiao Bai look good naked?”
Min Jia nodded repeatedly.
“Min Jia, I’m letting you see my husband naked – aren’t I being so good to you?” I continued asking.
Min Jia kept nodding, her eyes still staring straight ahead.
“Well, now that you’ve seen enough, let’s go.” I covered her eyes with my hand and dragged her toward the curtain.
Li Mingshang spoke up: “Since you’re already here, stay and help.”
Min Jia and I obediently turned back, heads lowered, walking to Li Mingshang’s side.
“Min Jia, tend to the fire – not too big, not too small. Young lady, take a blanket and wait on the side,” Li Mingshang instructed.
We hurried over. Standing by the wooden tub, I saw Xiao Huan’s hair still loose on his shoulders, so I pulled a jade hairpin from my head and gathered his hair into a bun.
While fixing his hair, I touched the skin of his neck – it was warm. The corners of my lips lifted unconsciously.
Kumol looked up at me: “Cang Cang, your arrow wound hasn’t healed, and you don’t look well. You should go rest first.”
I shook my head with a smile: “I’m fine here.”
He smiled back and said nothing more.
The treatment took quite some time, but just being able to watch him, even though he was unconscious now, made me feel like I was in a dream, not wanting to miss a single moment.
After the medicinal bath, Li Mingshang took out silver needles and cleared all of Xiao Huan’s acupoints before finally sighing with relief: “The brat’s life is saved.”
Hearing these words, I relaxed slightly but then noticed a new scar on his chest. Though small and already scabbed over, it still looked stark against his chest.
Seeing that I had noticed the scar, Kumol spoke up: “That’s from when Xiao Bai rushed to shield you after seeing the dart hit your chest.”
My hands trembled as if stung by something.
Although I hadn’t seen clearly at the time if he hadn’t rushed to embrace me, how could Xiao Huan have failed to dodge such a simple dart?
Yet even then, when he held me, I still wanted to push him away.
Sighing softly, Kumol smiled: “Cang Cang, if you want to cry, you can wait until Xiao Bai wakes up to cry for him to see.”
I shifted my gaze to Xiao Huan’s face – he was still sleeping peacefully, his pale face still showing no hint of color.
I grew still, bending down to kiss his colorless thin lips.
Regardless of who was watching, I simply quietly felt his body warmth, and then a tear slid from my eye, falling onto his cheek.
Kumol said nothing. Min Jia had already left. Li Mingshang silently packed up his medicine box, flicking his shoulder: “This took some effort. I’ll have to get my fee from this kid when he’s back” – said as he picked up his medicine box and walked out.
He left as quickly as he had come.
“Master Li! It’s the middle of the night – how will you get back?” I called after him, but he had already lifted the tent flap, his figure quickly vanishing into the darkness.
“If Master Li wants to sneak into the main camp alone, I doubt anyone could stop him,” Kumol suddenly remarked.
“Does Master Li know martial arts too?” I wondered as Li Mingshang had never displayed any martial arts skills in front of others.
Kumol smiled: “This Imperial Physician’s skills are no less than Master Gui’s.”
He paused after mentioning Gui Wuchang: “He disappeared after wounding you… Taking you hostage among the Imperial Guards, using your life to threaten Xiao Bai – that wasn’t done on my orders. He’s a capable man, I’ve always wanted to recruit him, but now that he’s hurt you, next time I see him, I’ll likely have to kill him.”
I nodded noncommittally. Mentioning Gui Wuchang always gave me a strange feeling.
When he took me from the capital that day, he had plenty of opportunities to kill me or use me for many things, but he seemed to only bring me to the Jurchen camp, then never interfered again.
And those two darts… My wounds weren’t severe. Though the darts struck what appeared to be vital points, they cleverly missed my heart. The reason I was unconscious for several days was partly due to the mild fever after being wounded, but also because Xiao Huan, fearing my injuries might worsen, had included many calming ingredients in my medicine.
Given Gui Wuchang’s abilities, if he truly wanted me dead, would he have been so perfunctory?
But unable to make sense of it after a while, I just smiled at Kumol without voicing my doubts.
After all the activity, I started feeling dizzy and turned to walk back to the bed to lie down.
Before I could take a step, Kumol had already reached out to lift me by the waist, carrying me to the bed and laying me down.
I smiled at him: “Thank you, Kumol.”
After experiencing life and death together, Kumol and I seemed to have grown closer, so even calling him by name now didn’t feel inappropriate.
“You would never say thank you to him for carrying you, would you?” Kumol suddenly said, smiling, “Such polite words are only said to people who aren’t close. With the closest people, there’s no need to say them.”
I looked up at him and suddenly noticed a trace of what seemed like sorrow between the brows of this usually cold and sharp man.
I raised my eyes, looking at him earnestly: “Kumol, no matter what, I failed to honor your feelings… At that moment, I truly wanted to be with you…”
“Cang Cang…” Kumol interrupted me, smiling faintly, “When he no longer needs you, you can come with me, but if he dies, you would follow him… Even if you remained alive, your heart would die with him, isn’t that right?”
He was too perceptive. I suddenly found myself speechless, and the tent fell into dead silence.
Kumol placed his hand on my cheek: “If you truly love someone, go after them. Once you’ve caught them, don’t let go again. Don’t say thank you to me while thinking in your heart that you’ve failed Kumol. I just want to remember that there was a man called Kumol who also loved you, though perhaps not as much as him. But I’ve helped you two be together, so you must be happy without hesitation. Remember that, Cang Cang?”
I nodded, and a large hot tear fell on his hand. Holding his hand, I leaned on his shoulder, crying and smiling: “Thank you…”
Kumol patted my back gently, sighing: “Could it be I’ve spent too long with the Han people? How have I become so sentimental?”
“Brother, Cang Cang, you…” Min Jia had returned at some point, staring wide-eyed at Kumol and me, then at the unconscious Xiao Huan.
I quickly pushed Kumol away, somewhat embarrassed: “It’s not what you think…”
Kumol shot her a fierce glare: “You troublesome girl, couldn’t you have come back later?”
After all this commotion, Kumol had the large tent divided into two rooms, setting aside a small room for Xiao Huan’s recovery.
The Northeast was not short of precious medicines like tiger bone and deer antler. Kumol had people continuously bring supplies. After two days, though Xiao Huan still hadn’t awakened, his breathing had become stronger and his skin showed some color.
I watched over him every day, as if trying to make up for lost time, finding myself unable to look away from his sleeping face for reasons I couldn’t explain.
That day, I had just finished giving him his medicine and was about to rest my head on the edge of the bed when I accidentally pressed on his hand.
Feeling his fingers twitch slightly under my face, I quickly moved away. Still not quite understanding what had happened, I paused before raising my head to see his eyelashes flutter and his brows furrow as he opened his eyes.
I dared not speak, watching him intently.
He coughed very lightly, his brows furrowing deeper, the look in his deep pupils somewhat unfocused, his voice very soft: “Too… bitter…”
I nodded: “The medicine Master Li prescribed for you is certainly bitter.”
He coughed a few more times, actually closing his eyes again, mumbling: “Then I’d rather stay unconscious…”
I gripped his hand tightly: “No! If you dare go back to sleep, I’ll cry for you to see!”
Only then did he open his eyes again: “Cang Cang?”
That gentle call had been absent for over a year. I held his hand against my cheek, smiling at him: “I’ve already cried several times during these days you’ve been unconscious. If you want me to cry more, you can go back to sleep.”
He still seemed unable to comprehend the scene before him, quite surprised: “You’re here?”
“Yes, I’m here.” I leaned down to kiss his thin lips lightly, “Brother Xiao, you’re finally awake, thank goodness.”
Those deep pupils of his surged and flickered for a moment. After a while, he smiled at me: “I’m fine, don’t worry… Empress.”
I raised my eyebrows at him: “Can’t you see clearly? We’re still in the Jurchen camp, so you’re no longer Emperor, and I’m not Empress… you’re just a male consort.” After saying this, I realized my joke was a bit mean and couldn’t help laughing, “But I’ve already told Kumol that from now on you’re my exclusive male consort, and he’s not allowed to compete with me for you!”
He was stunned again, finally realizing I was joking, but still looking incredulous as he turned his head to cough lightly: “In that case… I should thank my lady…”
His coughing made his breathing somewhat rapid. I knew it was because the previous poisoning had damaged his heart and lungs, so I quickly supported him to sit up halfway, letting him lean on my shoulder.
Holding his body, I turned my head to kiss his cheek lightly, trying to sound casual: “So we don’t need to worry about Emperor and Empress titles anymore, we can just stay together forever like this, alright, Brother Xiao?”
However casually I tried to say it, a tear still silently fell from the corner of my eye. I raised my hand to wipe it away, and turned to look at him, trying my best to smile: “Life is so short, I don’t want to deceive myself anymore, nor do I want to watch you leave again while I can do nothing… Brother Xiao, only now do I dare admit that you’re still the one I love most – is it too late?”
He just silently looked at me, closed his eyes, and then opened them again, pushing me away slightly as he leaned forward to spit blood onto the edge of the bed.
I held him, gently stroking his back, feeling his body warm while my heart turned ice-cold: for more than a year, for such a long time, I had left him behind like this, never caring, never asking.
His slightly cool hand covered the back of mine. Still coughing lightly, he raised his head and smiled at me: “Don’t worry… it’s just stagnant blood…”
I nodded, using a handkerchief to wipe the blood from the corner of his lips, helping him lean against the headboard.
He smiled slightly, lowering his eyes, releasing my hand, seeming to consider before saying: “Cang Cang… if you feel you owe me anything, I was just doing what I could… there’s no need to mind too much.”
He still didn’t believe… I had always spoken so resolutely, saying I loved Xian Xue, making a hundred-year promise with Kumol in front of him.
He said he was just doing what he could, but would anyone do so much they’d stake their own life?
I smiled, taking his hand and gently placing it on my chest, looking up at him: “Have I never told you, Brother Xiao… if you were gone, I would follow you.”
When I saw him unconscious, I truly understood everything—even though there were still so many unresolved matters between us: Master’s death, Xian Xue’s death, and his confrontation with my father.
But what did these matter? If he truly killed Master and Xian Xue, then I could accompany him to the endless hell after death, facing mountains of knives and seas of fire. Even if he and Father must ultimately rise and fall in opposition, I could still follow him to the yellow springs.
I no longer sought peace of conscience, no longer sought personal freedom, I only wanted to be with him, even if it meant instant immolation, never to return from calamity.
“I love you most…” I smiled at him, for the first time since Master’s death looking straight into his eyes without concealment, holding nothing back, “Brother Xiao, this time, I won’t just be saying it.”
After a long while, his body finally moved slightly, his expression suddenly showing a moment of revelation: “Cang Cang…”
I smiled, leaning forward to embrace him, resting my head on his shoulder: “Please don’t doubt me anymore, alright? Brother Xiao… let’s never separate again.” All around was quiet, the lamp wick on the table crackling in the flame.
The arms around me gradually tightened, Xiao Huan’s voice for the first time sounding like sleep-talking, ethereal and distant: “Alright, let’s never separate again.”
Lying in his embrace, I thought of something and paused, asking: “Brother Xiao… when you first woke up, you were talking about bitterness, weren’t you? You still hate taking medicine?”
He suddenly coughed lightly several times, giving a very soft “mm” in response.
I knew it… Back when we traveled the jianghu together, he had taken medicine in front of me once. If the palace people had seen his expression then, they would have been stunned.
Since then I knew that the perfect, sometimes almost immortal-like Xiao Yunzong Young Master… now His Majesty the Great Wu De You Emperor, brilliant and invincible, had one fatal weakness—he feared bitterness.
“Tok tok,” the sound of a knife handle striking the tent suddenly came through, followed by a familiar voice: “Save the heart-to-heart for when you get home, this is still my place.”
I turned to see Kumol standing at the tent entrance with his sword, wearing an ambiguous smile.
I casually picked up one of Xiao Huan’s shoes and threw it at him: “How can you ruin the mood like this!”
“Oh? I thought I was quite fitting for the scene?” Kumol said while smiling at Xiao Huan, “You can’t trust a woman’s vows… Xiao Bai, while treating you we’ve already had intimate contact, I’ve seen what I should see, touched what I should touch, you might as well come with me instead.”
Xiao Huan calmly looked at me: “Cang Cang, help me throw the other shoe at him too.”
After staying in Kumol’s camp for several days of treatment, Xiao Huan finally improved somewhat.
After waking, he coughed up stagnant blood twice more. Though it looked serious, it was a sign his body was gradually recovering. After a few days, except for occasional coughing, he was much better.
This day we sat in the tent with Min Jia and Kumol, the four of us feasting on venison and drinking wine.
The deer was caught by Min Jia while patrolling outside the camp. These days both sides had ceased hostilities, with no more fighting, and wild animals had begun moving about again.
While chatting idly, Min Jia suddenly spoke up: “Cang Cang, why don’t you stay and be my sister-in-law? I can see you’re quite attached to my brother, weren’t you embracing him that day when Xiao Bai was unconscious? If you stay as my sister-in-law, I can see you every day.”
This girl brings up exactly what she shouldn’t! I had just gotten Xiao Huan to stop minding about my former lifetime promise with Kumol, and she brought it up again!
“Embracing Kumol?” Xiao Huan, who was wearing a loose robe and drinking wine in a nearby chair, turned his wine cup, asking casually.
“Being my wife would be nice,” Kumol, sitting in the chair beside Xiao Huan, spoke lazily, “Since Xiao Bai won’t be with me no matter what, I’m heartbroken. Having his wife by my side would at least somewhat comfort my yearning.”
“That can comfort yearning…” I twitched my lips, not knowing whether to cry or laugh.
“Saying that makes me sad, if it weren’t for having to look after the empire and people, I’d want to stay by your side forever too.” Xiao Huan sighed, picking up Kumol’s thread.
“Never mind, we’re fated but not destined in this life. Knowing you would grieve for me is enough.” Kumol also sighed.
Min Jia looked up at her brother, then at me and Xiao Huan: “Cang Cang, now I’m confused, among you three, who likes whom?”
“Well,” I was still twitching my lips, caught between laughter and tears, “who knows.”
These days every night, Kumol would come to see Xiao Huan, and after arriving would find some reason to send me away, and then they would talk inside about who knows what for an hour or two.
Whenever I asked, they would both just smile without speaking, and would say extremely ambiguous things in front of me. Could these two be turning their act into reality, actually developing those kinds of feelings… Every time I thought about it, I got a headache.
Then thinking of those women in the palace, it was better not to return, but after returning I would definitely have to continue fighting with them like dragons and tigers… no, like phoenixes and simurghs. The road ahead was long; to have Xiao Huan to myself, I would need to keep working at it.
Thinking of this, I slammed my wine cup on the table, stood up rolling my sleeves while looking at Kumol: “I can’t take it anymore! Let’s have a fair duel, if you win Xiao Bai is yours, if I win he’s mine!”
“You want to fight me for a man?” Kumol looked at me somewhat surprised, his face barely containing laughter, “Xiao Bai, this girl wants to fight me for you.”
Xiao Huan let out a laugh, and Kumol started guffawing.
I looked at them in bewilderment.
Min Jia looked at them, then at me: “Cang Cang, my brother and Xiao Bai don’t like men, they only like women, they’re just joking with you, couldn’t you tell?”
I looked at Min Jia somewhat embarrassed, but insisted: “What… I knew that… I was joking too.”
Over there, Kumol and Xiao Huan laughed even harder.
Now I’d made a fool of myself, I’d been played again by these two old foxes.
No matter how happy the days were, the time for farewell still came.
When Xiao Huan’s health improved further, Kumol notified Qi Chengliang inside Shanhai Pass to come to receive Xiao Huan.
I didn’t know what agreement he had made with Xiao Huan, but it was very likely during those long talks they had in the tent, which had given them an understanding.
Sending us to the edge of the camp, Kumol smiled and said to Xiao Huan: “Withdraw troops in three days?”
Xiao Huan nodded: “A ruler’s word is his bond.”
Kumol smiled: “I’ll trust you this once.”
Outside the Jurchen camp stood Great Wu soldiers in rows of black armor. Their leader wore a red cape, the red tassel on his helmet dancing in the wind. Seeing Xiao Huan emerge, he dismounted and knelt on one knee: “Your subject Qi Chengliang humbly welcomes Your Majesty.”
Before the stern and inviolable army, I quietly reached out to hold Xiao Huan’s hand. He squeezed my hand back, stepping forward with a smile: “General Qi, please rise.”
Qi Chengliang rose after giving thanks. He was a man of few words. Soldiers quickly led forward two horses. I looked at the two horses, still not releasing Xiao Huan’s hand.
Understanding my meaning, he smiled and said to Qi Chengliang: “One is enough.”
As the horse was brought over, Xiao Huan mounted first, then reached out to me, smiling: “Satisfied?”
I took his hand and mounted. Xiao Huan held the reins and gently squeezed the horse’s flanks. The steed walked forward unhurriedly, with Qi Chengliang following.
Sitting sideways on the horse, holding Xiao Huan’s waist, I rested my head against his collar and said softly: “Brother Xiao, I’ve seen Qi Chengliang at my home, he’s my father’s student and often visited him.”
He nodded, smiling: “I know all this.”
I paused, then quietly tightened my arms, holding Xiao Huan closer.
Even though I was prepared, when facing it, it felt entirely different.
It was laughable—I was the Empress of Great Wu, yet why did I feel the whole world was against Xiao Huan and me being together?
We had gone quite far, but could still see that Kumol and Min Jia hadn’t returned, instead remaining mounted at the edge of the camp, watching us leave.
I tugged at Xiao Huan’s sleeve: “Great Wu and Kumol… are preparing for peace?” What’s this about withdrawing troops?
He smiled, not concealing anything from me: “Yes, Kumol has agreed to peace talks, and can also agree to continue acknowledging Great Wu’s suzerainty, but demands that north of Shanhai Pass be designated as territory belonging to the Jin Kingdom.”
This war had severely depleted both countries. Kumol didn’t have the strength to invade the Central Plains for now, and it would be difficult for Great Wu to completely defeat him. Being able to achieve temporary stability like this, with peace between the two countries, wasn’t a bad thing.
As Xiao Huan spoke, he suddenly smiled: “Kumol is really something, actually saying he could acknowledge me as sovereign but not my son, and that when I die one day, he would definitely raise troops again.”
“Then you’ll just have to compete with him in living until you both have long white beards.” I smiled, waving a final farewell toward Kumol and Min Jia’s figures, now barely visible.
There was some sadness of parting in my heart, but I knew that however magnificent the scenery beyond the Great Wall, Great Wu was my final destination.
Inside the pass, Shi Yan’s face was weathered, his usually expressionless face showing undisguised mixed joy and sorrow.
He came forward to bow, his hands somewhat trembling: “Your Majesty.”
Xiao Huan helped me dismount, smiling at him: “You’ve all had a difficult few days.”
Shi Yan suddenly reddened around the eyes, clasping his fist again in salute.
Xiao Huan smiled at him, taking my hand as we climbed the steps to enter the building.
Shanhai Pass’s buildings covered dozens of acres. Besides the military camp, there were many pavilions. For Xiao Huan’s visit, his temporary quarters were arranged in a small building at the center of the fortress.
We walked in together. Inside the door, thick wool carpets were laid out, with a man-high golden qilin beast in the center of the carpet, its mouth emitting wisps of fragrance—extremely pure, yet with a hint of cloying sweetness.
I felt something was slightly strange—Xiao Huan didn’t particularly like using incense, and if he did, it would be ambergris. This kind of heavy, powdery fragrance certainly wasn’t to his taste.
Walking with Xiao Huan past the purple sandalwood screen inlaid with black jade landscapes, we entered the inner chamber. It too was furnished entirely with purple sandalwood tables and chairs. In the crystal vases on the tables were several freshly cut winter plum branches, their subtle fragrance permeating the room.
As Xiao Huan sat down, a palace maid brought in a bowl of pre-Qingming Dragon Well tea.
Returning with him this time, I noticed that besides Shi Yan, no one else called me “Empress,” not even Qi Chengliang when he came to the Jurchen camp to receive Xiao Huan. Thinking back, the official proclamation hadn’t mentioned a word about the Empress being held captive by enemies.
After the palace maid left, I sat beside Xiao Huan, hugging his waist, and smiled: “Brother Xiao, did you have the Imperial Guard suppress news of my absence from the palace?”
He paused, then put his arm around my shoulders and smiled: “Yes, I had the palace announce that the Empress was slightly ill and recuperating… Whether or not you want to return, news of your abduction getting out wouldn’t be good.”
I held him, not knowing what to say. His considerations for me were always so thorough.
Looking up at him from below, the tea’s steam passed across his face, gathering into a mist that hazily veiled his features.
I reached through that layer of mist, hooking my arms around his neck and resting my head on his shoulder: “Brother Xiao… no matter what, I just want to be with you.”
He said nothing more, just tightened his arm around my shoulders.
Shi Yan’s hesitant voice broke the room’s tranquility from the doorway: “Your Majesty, someone seeks an audience.”
Xiao Huan nodded, his hand not moving from my shoulder, so I also continued resting against him, not moving.
Shi Yan hesitated, then added: “It’s the Dragon Guard General.”
“Don’t talk to me about announcements! Get out of my way!” A familiar, slightly hoarse voice suddenly came through.
I quickly looked up. The young man appearing in the doorway wore a black cape, his features handsome but his expression carrying deep mockery and coldness—it was my brother.
Shi Yan stepped back, gripping his sword hilt.
My brother smiled slightly, but killing intent gathered between his brows: “What, Commander Shi wants to cross swords with me?”
“Shi Yan, you may leave first.” Xiao Huan released my shoulder, standing to smile at my brother, “Jueding, it’s been a long time.”
Shi Yan bowed and left, closing the door.
My brother sneered: “Don’t act so familiar, I don’t recall being that close with Your Majesty.”
My brother loved wandering the jianghu, and since his youth rarely stayed in the capital. Though in recent years he held the honorary title of Dragon Guard General, leading father’s retainers, he still roamed as a knight-errant most of the time. Back then, he and Xiao Huan had been good friends, able to share wine jugs on rooftops, passing them back and forth until dawn.
Xiao Huan smiled slightly, lifting the corner of his mouth, but said nothing.
My brother seemed unwilling to stay in this room a moment longer, immediately extending his hand to me: “Cang Cang, come back to the capital with me.”
I stood up hesitantly, looking at Xiao Huan. He smiled: “Cang Cang, it’s good for you to return to the capital first. I still need to stay here to handle some matters.”
Thinking that if he was still concealing news of my disappearance, it would indeed be inconvenient for me to stay. Though reluctant, I nodded: “Your health has only just improved, don’t push yourself too hard.”
He smiled, then suddenly pulled me into his embrace.
My body stiffened for a moment, my face immediately reddening—this was the first time he had embraced me on his initiative. After hesitating briefly, I also hugged him back. His robes carried a faint, sun-like fresh scent.
He whispered in my ear: “Don’t worry, we’ll see each other again soon.”
I nodded. I should be happy—he had embraced me of his own accord, comforting me by saying we’d meet again soon. But for some reason, my eyes started stinging.
He released me, smiling and nodding: “Cang Cang, take care.”
My brother had been turning his head away without speaking the whole time. Now he grabbed my sleeve, turning to walk outside. At the doorway, he suddenly paused, not looking back: “Xiao Huan, if I could, I would like to kill you.”
After saying this, my brother pulled me straight out the door.
My brother had come prepared—a carriage waited not far away. He had me sit inside, then fell silent for a moment before smiling: “When I got the news and rushed here from southern Yunnan, he had already gone to the Jurchen camp to rescue you. In the end, he was the one who saved you.”
I looked up at my brother: “Brother, I love him. I can’t deceive myself—if he died, I would die too. When I hold him, I can’t think of anything else.”
My brother looked at me quietly, his gaze gradually becoming deep and sorrowful. He reached out to ruffle my hair: “Little fuzzy head, if you love him then love him.”
He didn’t say much more to me. He had always jokingly called me “little fuzzy head” and liked to tease me. Like Xiao Huan, he would rush to me regardless of the consequences when I was in danger. Even though he hadn’t forgiven Master’s death and still hated Xiao Huan, he still said to me: “If you love him, then love him.”
I smiled at him, nodding vigorously: “Alright.”
My brother smiled, withdrawing his hand and lowering the carriage curtain.
The journey back to the capital took a whole day.
It was pitch dark when we reached the capital. My brother showed his pass to have the city guards open the gates.
The carriage entered through the North Gate, passing through Xuanwu Gate to deliver me to the palace. When we passed along Xuanwu Street, we were very close to the Prime Minister’s residence. My brother asked hesitantly: “Cang Cang, do you want to go home to see Father?”
I thought for a moment, then shook my head: “No.”
“Cang Cang,” my brother was silent for a long while before saying, “since you entered the palace, Father has missed you quite a lot.”
I was quiet for a moment, then smiled: “I still won’t go back.”
My brother didn’t continue, just smiled at me: “I’ll escort you back to the palace.”
The forbidden palace seemed even more deep and quiet at night. The city didn’t allow lights after dark, and everything around was pitch black. My brother held a lantern and led me, going in through Xuanwu Gate, passing through Shunzhen Gate, crossing the Imperial Garden, until we reached the front hall of Chuxiu Palace, where Xiao Shan was already waiting with palace maids.
This was the forbidden area of the inner palace, so my brother couldn’t enter further. He said to me: “Get some rest early, I’ll go now.”
I nodded, asking: “Are you going home?”
My brother paused, then shook his head: “No, back to southern Yunnan.”
He urged me to go home, yet he wouldn’t return for years.
I smiled, telling him: “Be careful on your journey.”
“You’ve grown up, even saying ‘be careful’ now.” My brother suddenly pressed down on my head and ruffled it hard, “I can rest easy now that my little fuzzy head can take care of herself.”
I covered my head and glared at him: “Who are you calling little fuzzy head? Young punk acting all mature.”
My brother just smiled again, saying nothing as he turned and left. I watched the dim palace lantern in his hand disappear behind the wall.
“Little fuzzy head” and “young punk”—these were what Father often called my brother and me. Whenever he saw us doing something outrageous, he would scold us like this, exasperated yet indulgent.
Now we had both grown up—I was Empress, and my brother was an imperially appointed General. When Father saw us, would he still call us those names?
Xiao Shan came forward, full of joy but not daring to speak loudly: “My lady, you’re finally back! Was that the young master just now? When he heard news of your disappearance, he rushed back to the capital from southern Yunnan without rest for days and nights, then immediately went to Shanhai Pass. How could he leave again without even coming in to rest?”
“Let’s talk inside.” I saw Jiao Yan standing timidly behind Xiao Shan, and walked over to pat her shoulder, “Have you lost weight? Why aren’t you eating properly at home? Come back inside with us.”
Jiao Yan nodded quickly, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes with her fingers as she followed us back to the inner hall.
Back in the hall, Jiao Yan knelt before me, her voice choked: “This servant knows her crime is unforgivable… It’s wonderful that the Empress has returned. His Majesty told me he would bring my lady back, and I knew His Majesty would keep his word.”
I took a sip of tea. I didn’t blame her at all. Ying was her master, and she was just an unworldly young girl—that day must have frightened her badly too.
I smiled, not mentioning that day’s events, and asked her: “Jiao Yan, didn’t you hate the Emperor? How come you’re calling him ‘His Majesty’ now?”
Jiao Yan’s face reddened slightly as she lowered her head: “I only learned later that His Majesty is very kind. Even though my master wounded him, he didn’t kill her. When he saw I was worried about the Empress, he told me he would bring my lady back. He’s a good person, so gentle—I don’t hate him anymore.”
This young girl’s love and hate were still so simple, coming and going as easily as words.
I smiled, then thinking of Xing Yiyong’s death, asked: “How did Noble Consort De die?”
Hearing this, Jiao Yan frowned: “That bad woman? Her father committed treason and was beheaded, so of course she met a bad end too. That day after my lady left, she was arrested by the Imperial Guard. She asked His Majesty if he would forgive her, but when His Majesty said nothing, she pulled out a small knife and took her own life.”
I remembered the almost brutal despair I had seen in Xing Yiyong’s eyes that day and sighed.
I had never hated Xing Yiyong. She was just another pitiful woman trapped in the forbidden palace, whose husband didn’t love her—her days must have been very painful. Husband? Thinking of this word, I paused. Xiao Huan was my husband, but he was also the husband of all the consorts in the inner palace, including Du Tingxin, Xing Yiyong, and Wu Liangming. I had never thought about being with both Kumol and Xiao Huan, so had Xiao Huan ever thought about being with both me and the other consorts?
Something rustled twice in my heart.
I continued asking Jiao Yan: “You just said your master wounded His Majesty—how was he wounded? Was it serious?”
Jiao Yan said: “That day when master first saw His Majesty, she told him the Empress had already been taken away. Later when they fought, His Majesty seemed somewhat disturbed—the master said his technique was all confused. Then His Majesty was wounded by master’s poison incense, but later the master was still subdued by His Majesty.”
“His Majesty’s expression was frightening then. I truly thought he would kill my master, but who would have thought His Majesty still let her go, saying if she wanted to kill him she should come at him directly—why involve you, Empress?”
Jiao Yan’s face showed confusion as she spoke, seeming still immersed in that day’s memories: “After master wounded him, His Majesty kept coughing. When he spoke, his face was frighteningly pale. I never imagined I could see such a sorrowful expression on a man’s face… as if it would have been much better if he had been the one taken instead. So later when His Majesty said he would bring my lady back, I felt he would certainly achieve it even at the cost of his own life.”
So Xiao Huan had been poisoned before going to Shanhai Pass. No wonder his condition had been so poor. As I thought about it, I grew angry: “No wonder Master Li said he was being too reckless. When he returns, I must scold him!”
Jiao Yan started: “What did my lady say?”
“Nothing,” I quickly covered up.
Nearby, Xiao Shan looked at me with concern, “My lady, the wind and sand were harsh on your journey. Would you like a bath to relieve your fatigue?”
I agreed: “Yes.” And stopped talking with Jiao Yan.
After I returned to the capital, all the news from the front was good. The peace negotiations went smoothly, with Kumol accepting the title of Prince of Bohai bestowed by Great Wu, and the Jin Kingdom submitting to Great Wu.
With the clouds of war dispersed, everyone in the palace was jubilant. Regarding the peace process, there were even rumors saying His Majesty had entered the enemy camp alone, and Kumol had been awed by the imperial majesty, swearing allegiance before his tent.
I found it amusing to think that while entering the enemy camp alone was true, it wasn’t imperial majesty that had done the convincing—seduction would be more accurate.
Today news came that the army had broken camp and begun their journey, expected to reach Great Wu’s gates by noon tomorrow. The outer court and inner palace were bustling with preparations for the army’s triumphant return ceremony.
A feast would be laid out before the Hall of Supreme Harmony as usual to entertain the officials and generals. The palace eunuchs and female officials in charge were all busy. Xiao Shan, who was both Chuxiu Palace’s headmaid and a clothing official in charge of the Imperial Wardrobe, was especially busy.
The Empress Dowager couldn’t handle everything, so she dragged me out from sleeping in the palace where I had been hiding under the excuse of poor health.
Sitting in the Palace of Benevolent Tranquility, one moment someone would come to tell me how much red silk was in storage for decorating the three main halls, how much more needed to be purchased, requesting the Empress’s vermilion seal to withdraw funds from the inner treasury.
The next moment someone would come saying this was the menu for tomorrow’s feast for the censorate officials, requesting the Empress’s final approval.
Then someone else would come saying the imperial orchestra was already rehearsing before the Hall of Supreme Harmony, requesting the Empress to come inspect…
By evening after such a day, I could barely hold up any more, so I made an excuse for a headache and returned to Chuxiu Palace.
I hadn’t even had time for dinner before collapsing fully clothed on the bed, listening to the increasingly urgent north wind outside the window after nightfall, falling into a drowsy half-sleep.
Just as I was sleeping deeply, a pair of somewhat cold hands gently covered my face, and a familiar voice called: “Cang Cang.”
I quickly opened my eyes. In the dim candlelight, Xiao Huan was half-crouching by the bed, smiling at me.
Without time to think of anything else, I grabbed his hands: “Brother Xiao? Weren’t you supposed to return tomorrow?”
He smiled: “Great Wu’s Emperor will arrive tomorrow. I came back tonight to see you first.”
Only then did I notice he was wearing the black uniform of the Gu Xing Camp guards, his face somewhat dusty—he must have changed clothes and ridden back without stopping.
I got up, pulling him to sit on the bed. Though his hands were still somewhat cool, they were much better than a few days ago. I asked: “How are you feeling? Are you better?”
He smiled and nodded: “After so many days of recovery, I’m much better.”
“So you felt fine riding in the cold wind?” I looked at him with concern, then asked, “What about Kumol and Min Jia? Have they returned to Jianzhou?”
He smiled: “I knew you’d be thinking of them. They broke camp and left the day before we started back.” He paused, then smiled again: “That Kumol… insisted I include Bai Chifan’s deeds in the edict conferring his title, saying it was because of this person that he was willing to make peace.”
I shook my head in wonder: “It seems Kumol still can’t forget Xiao Bai. He’ll probably pine for him his whole life.”
He was caught between laughter and tears: “How come you’re making these jokes too?”
“Weren’t you two enjoying them?” I made a face at him, holding his hand, “Brother Xiao, you’ve rushed back—you haven’t eaten yet, have you? I’ll have some food sent over, and warm up some bamboo leaf wine.” Seeing him smile, I added, “How about that? Suddenly feeling I’m a good wife?”
He smiled and nodded: “A little bit.”
“What do you mean a little bit?” I laughed, raising my arms to embrace him tightly, resting my head on his shoulder, “Brother Xiao, it’s wonderful that you came back to see me first.”
He held me too, gently patting my shoulder, saying nothing.
His poison had been controlled—the body I was holding now was warm, unlike a few days ago when no matter how thick his clothes were, the body inside felt cold.
Yes, as long as he was still alive, as long as I could still hold him, why did I need to think about anything else?
In Kumol’s camp when he wasn’t even breathing, holding his cold body, I thought that if he could just say one more word, if he could just smile once more, I wouldn’t mind dying right then. Now he was alive, his body was warm—why did I need to think about anything else?
But an invisible little insect was biting in my heart, rustling away, and I couldn’t find it.
“Empress…” Jiao Yan’s startled cry came from the hall door.
I quickly looked up to see her standing frozen at the door with her hand over her mouth, the gold-inlaid enamel tray in her hands falling to the ground, the fragrant pears rolling everywhere.
She stammered: “A… a man…”
I found it amusing and held Xiao Huan tighter: “Yes, a man. Your Empress is going to commit adultery today, so you keep watch at the door.”
Jiao Yan stood there with wide eyes, the young girl completely stunned.
Xiao Huan couldn’t bear to watch, turning his head to smile at her: “Jiao Yan, it’s me.”
Recognizing Xiao Huan’s voice, Jiao Yan ran a few steps closer, and upon seeing his face clearly, quickly knelt: “So it’s Your Majesty. You scared this servant to death.”
I laughed: “It’s just a man—how can that frighten you so much?”
“That’s not it,” Jiao Yan raised her head to argue earnestly with me, “Before, if my lady wanted to have an affair, I would have helped keep watch. But now I know how well His Majesty treats my lady—if my future love could treat me half as well as His Majesty treats my lady, I would be content. So if my lady were to wrong His Majesty now, how heartbroken would he be?”
Jiao Yan had always been clever with words. Hearing these statements, I kept clicking my tongue, turning to look at Xiao Huan: “How did you work your charm? Even my people have been won over?”
He smiled, lowering his head to tell Jiao Yan: “You may rise. Thank you for your concern, but you can’t tell anyone you saw me here.”
Jiao Yan’s cheeks were red as apples as she stood up, nodding vigorously: “Your Majesty can rest assured, this servant would die before speaking of it.”
I laughed again: “Silly girl, there’s no need for talk of dying.” Then I instructed her, “Go tell the kitchen to prepare some nourishing dishes, preferably light ones, and warm up some bamboo leaf wine.”
Jiao Yan accepted the order and left. Soon the kitchen sent several carefully prepared dishes, and the warm bamboo leaf wine came with a small stove.
Though he was much better, Xiao Huan still coughed lightly a few times. I handed him the prepared ginseng soup and asked: “Brother Xiao, will you stay here tonight?”
He took the bowl of soup and smiled: “I need to return to the relay station.”
“Couldn’t you just join the army’s entry tomorrow?” Having finally seen him again, I didn’t want to part even for a moment. “Couldn’t you leave the city again in the morning? Why rush back and forth?”
He smiled but said nothing.
I knew that once he had decided something, he wouldn’t explain much and would be hard to change, so I just smiled: “Alright then, at least stay to finish eating with me.”
He still left in the end, not long after finishing the meal, preparing to depart.
I silently followed him to the door, handing him the black cape he had worn when he arrived.
Standing at the bottom of the steps, he smiled at me: “Cang Cang, the wind is strong at night. Go back inside.”
I smiled at him: “Brother Xiao, see you tomorrow.”
He smiled too, his black figure quickly vanishing into the pitch-dark night.
I looked up—the forbidden palace’s sky in the twelfth month was covered with clouds, no starlight visible, appearing somewhat gloomy.
The rustling sound in my heart sounded twice, then disappeared.
At noon on the ninth day of the twelfth month in the eighth year of De You, the victorious imperial army passed through the Great Wu Gate, crossed the moat, and wound its way from Chengcheng Gate into the forbidden palace.
After the eighty-one ceremonial cannons outside Wu Gate fired in sequence, the Emperor, wearing military dress, appeared on the imperial road riding a completely black steed.
The civil and military officials waiting on both sides of the imperial road performed the three kneelings and nine kowtows, then together with the imperial army, surrounded the imperial procession, entering the city in order through the small gates on either side of Wu Gate.
The palace women waited on the inner side of the Jinshui Bridge, all bowing down when they saw the Emperor’s figure on horseback in the distance.
While everyone’s heads were lowered, I secretly looked up, wanting to see how Xiao Huan looked in armor, but instead caught sight of a carriage passing through the side gate by Wu Gate.
It was an imperial carriage, carrying a consort—being allowed to pass Wu Gate without dismounting was an extremely honorable privilege.
I suddenly remembered that Imperial Noble Consort Du Tingxin wasn’t in the welcoming group.
Not only that, in all the days since my return, I had never seen her in the inner palace—she had accompanied the campaign.
I didn’t want to let myself guess wildly, but thoughts ran unbidden through my mind: Du Tingxin had accompanied the campaign, she had been in Shanhai Pass city all along. When Xiao Huan and I were in Kumol’s tent, she was in Shanhai Pass City just a few miles away. When we returned to Shanhai Pass, that cloying incense in the room was hers. When I returned to the inner palace, she was with Xiao Huan establishing the peace treaty with Kumol. Last night when Xiao Huan rushed to return in the night, it was because she was waiting for him in the army camp.
The “rustle rustle rustle” in my heart grew louder and louder, filling my ears. I finally understood what that biting insect was.
The drums and gongs of the grand music, the calls of the palace eunuchs clearing the way, all receded beneath this sound as I slowly stood straight. Xiao Huan rode slowly across the white marble bridge from the far end.
As I had imagined, armor suited him well.
In the noon sunlight, the golden armor and the steed wrapped in golden armor all emanated a golden glow. In the center of the glow, his features were clear, like a god descending slowly from auspicious clouds.
Gui Wuchang was right—some people are born to be revered.
As the steed drew closer, the young emperor’s features became clearer.
But I began to wonder: was this resplendent rider the same young man who would smile at me in the autumn wind of Jiangnan? That young man whose gentleness I thought belonged only to me?
Xiao Huan’s black pupils met my gaze. He saw my breach of etiquette, but there was no surprise in his eyes. He didn’t smile either, just looked at me quietly, his gaze containing a faint gentleness.
Behind me was a sea of prostrate people, behind him was another sea of prostrate people. Looking into his eyes, I suddenly felt he was on some distant, unknown shore across the river.