Days of trudging through the frozen, snowy terrain — even with boots made of thick yak hide — had not been enough to keep out the damp and bone-deep cold.
Her feet had begun developing chilblains many days earlier, and by the time she had arrived here, they had swollen to the point that the simple act of pushing her feet into her shoes each morning had become its own ordeal.
He took hold of her foot once again.
Such intimacy made her uncomfortable.
She tried to draw her foot back, but could not.
“Don’t move,” he said, not looking at her, his gaze still resting on her foot, the motion of his hands applying the medicine uninterrupted.
The yak-oil lamp’s flame was a deep orange, casting a hazy warmth across his face. The man’s brows were lowered; his face seemed draped in a warmth she had not recognized in him before.
The awkwardness and astonishment from his sudden appearance slowly faded.
She gradually lay back down, watching as he applied the medicine for her — finishing one foot, moving to the other. When both feet were done, he did not stop; he continued, cupping her feet in his palms, slowly kneading them.
Neither of them spoke. A quiet stillness settled over the small tent.
Outside, a sudden gust of wind swept past, accompanied by a strange and low moaning sound. The tent flap was blown outward, and the small flame on the yak-oil lamp flickered.
The man’s face shifted between light and shadow.
“How did you come to be here?”
Mu Fulan suddenly came back to herself, speaking with some haste, breaking the tent’s silence.
“Is Xi’er alone over there? Will something happen to him?”
She followed with another question.
Xie Changgeng paused the motion of his hands and looked up at her.
“He was still so small! I hoped that before you left, you had already made proper arrangements for him!”
“I brought him along.”
He finally said, slowly.
Mu Fulan was startled. She pulled her foot back from his hands in one motion and sat up sharply.
“In weather like this, in a place like this — you actually brought him here too?”
She made no effort to conceal the reproach in her voice.
“Yes.”
He nodded.
“This child is far braver than you imagine — you need not worry so much about him. We encountered a bit of trouble along the way, and he actually helped me enormously. He is in Jincheng right now; when you return, you will be able to see him.”
He spoke unhurriedly, as though carrying the weight of a deep and steady strength.
“He could not stop thinking about you and wanted very much to see you — he wanted to come and bring you back himself.”
Mu Fulan slowly let out a breath and steadied herself. “Thank you. My feet are fine now.”
Xie Changgeng set the ointment aside.
“Tomorrow morning when you get up, apply another layer over the frostbitten areas yourself — and remember to knead it in afterward, it helps the medicine take effect.”
“I know. You must be tired yourself — go rest.”
He did not move. After a moment of silence, he said abruptly: “Mu Shi, are you not going to ask why I am here?”
Mu Fulan’s heart gave a slight start. She looked up at him.
“Is it that the elder chief has taken a turn for the worse?”
Xie Changgeng fixed his gaze on her face, the tension showing.
“The elder chief has indeed fallen unconscious again. I naturally hope he pulls through, but speaking plainly — even if he cannot hold on until you return, it would not greatly affect the larger situation.”
That the elder chief would fall unconscious again was something Mu Fulan had already anticipated. Before she left, she had also given instructions to the military physician filling in for her on how to stabilize and preserve his life, in order to wait for her return as best they could.
She said: “Then why did you come?”
“I have sent my mother home. Going forward, she will no longer press me to take Qi Lingfeng as a consort.”
He said this with some abruptness.
Mu Fulan was momentarily taken aback. She held his gaze for a moment and said vaguely: “I hope your mother will not be too greatly disappointed…”
“She is very disappointed, but she has accepted it.” He cut her off.
Mu Fulan did not speak further. She turned her head and said: “You should go rest — I am also very tired, and tomorrow we will need to rise early…”
Her voice suddenly stopped.
Xie Changgeng reached out and gently cupped her chin, turning her face back toward him.
“Mu Shi, the reason I am here is the same as Xi’er’s reason.”
“I missed you. I was worried about you. So I came — I wanted to bring you back sooner.”
He held her gaze and said quietly.
Mu Fulan went rigid.
The small tent suddenly felt even more confining than before, and only the sound of breathing was clearly audible.
He continued: “You should still remember how Xi’er came to Hexi. At the time of the earthquake in the Three Miao territory, I forcibly took him along. I am no upright gentleman — at the time it was out of spite, to coerce you into submission. But what you do not know is that I had already left. The reason I turned back that day was not, at its heart, to make things difficult for you again. I could not let you go. I knew you were set on saving people, and I feared you would be in danger in the earthquake.”
He paused and hesitated for a moment, as though finally making up his mind, and continued: “Now that I have come here to bring you back, there are some things I may as well say directly.”
“Mu Shi, every time you and I have shared a bed, I imagine you were only going through the motions — or even suffering through it. But do you know what I was thinking in those same moments?”
Mu Fulan said nothing.
He went on of his own accord: “Every time, seeing you hold yourself like that, I could not help but think — if the positions were reversed, if it were that other man with you instead, how would you be? Why should I need to do this — make it so that neither of us gets any satisfaction? I was truly tying my own hands. The more you were like that, the less I wanted to let you have your way… Why should I compete with a man who is dead? I thought about how much contentment he had been able to bring you — and I wanted to do the same, to bring you even greater contentment.”
He laughed at himself wryly, gazing at her.
“Mu Shi — would you say I am hopelessly foolish?”
Mu Fulan’s heart was pounding, her face burning.
She stared at the man before her and felt her breathing grow difficult as well.
He too seemed a little unsteady in his breathing. He slowly let out a breath, as though calming himself.
“After this, do not take those medicines that harm your body anymore…”
He finally said.
“And you can be assured — I will treat Xi’er as though he were my own child, and I will raise him well. When he has grown, I will not treat him badly.”
He slowly leaned toward her.
Their foreheads were nearly touching.
“Be a little kinder to me.”
He said softly, his voice low and husky, almost a murmur, circling at her ear in the small tent.
Mu Fulan lost all response. Until the man’s straight and slightly cool nose gently brushed across her cheek, and his dry, rough lips pressed affectionately against her soft ones — and then, all at once, she shuddered.
In a flash, her mind was filled with the vision of her wedding night — that very first night.
That man too had treated her with such tenderness, not hiding for a moment how much he cherished her in his arms.
Tenderness always stirs the heart. But the love between a man and a woman is like flowers reflected in a mirror, like the moon in a river — beautiful and utterly beyond grasp.
Her face turned away sharply, pulling back from his lips.
“Xie Lang,” she said, “I am grateful for everything you have done for me, including what you promised me that night.”
She steadied herself and slowly turned her face back, meeting his gaze.
“Tomorrow, when we return to Jincheng, I will finish preparing the medicine and set out for home as soon as possible. There should still be hope of saving the elder chief.”
Xie Changgeng’s figure went still.
The amber light continued to fall across his face, yet the warmth was gone — his expression half-lit, half-shadowed.
After a long silence, he said through clenched teeth, one word at a time: “That man — what was it about him? What did you love in him?”
Mu Fulan looked into those dark, tired, bloodshot eyes and said: “It has nothing to do with anyone else. I simply cannot bear the weight of your kindness toward me.”
He was silent as stone. Finally, he slowly stood up, turned away, and walked to the tent entrance. He reached out his hand, and was about to lift the flap when his hand stopped. He slowly turned his head back and stared at the woman behind him — this woman whose heart was harder and colder than stone.
Even stone, given enough time, could be warmed. But what this heart was made of, he truly did not know.
“Mu Shi, consider everything I said just now as though it was never spoken.”
With that, he lifted the tent flap and left.
A gust of wild wind rushed in with his departure, sweeping into the tent and extinguishing the dim lamp on the low table in a single breath.
The tent plunged into complete darkness.
Mu Fulan sat in the pitch black, her eyes slowly growing hot.
Before the tears could fall, she raised her hand and swiftly pressed her fingers to her eyes, wiping them away.
……
Upon returning to Jincheng, Mu Fulan met with Xi’er, and without pausing to rest, worked through the night to process the medicinal herbs.
The next day, she went to look for Xi’er, only to learn that Xie Changgeng had taken him out. She waited for a long while, and when neither of them returned, she went to look for them.
Jincheng was an isolated outpost city beyond the frontier, small in area — walking from the eastern end of the city to the western end was no more than a few li.
She searched until she reached the city gate, where a soldier told her that the Military Governor had just returned from outside the city with the young lord on horseback, and that both of them were now up on the city wall tower.
She followed the broad, heavy stone steps up to the city wall and saw, atop the tall watchtower ahead, two figures standing — one tall, one small.
Xie Changgeng had lifted Xi’er up and let him stand on the battlements, and the two of them were in conversation.
That day, the snowstorms that had raged for many days had finally stopped. Sunlight poured down over Jincheng’s four walls, over the wild expanse beyond, and over the distant mountain range whose peaks were layered in eternal, never-melting snow.
“Lord Xie, why is this place called Jincheng — ‘Golden City’? Does it have a great deal of gold?”
Mu Fulan heard Xi’er asking.
Xie Changgeng broke into a laugh and said: “In the summer, when the snow here has all melted and the sun shines down — if you stand on the snow peak and look down, the city seems to be paved in gold, magnificent beyond measure. That is why it was named Jincheng.”
Xi’er let out a gasp of wonder: “I would so love to see that!”
Xie Changgeng said: “As long as we can hold the city, this place will always be ours. Whenever you want to come and see it, you can.”
“Then you must hold it, Lord Xie!” Xi’er cheered.
Xie Changgeng smiled and nodded. Then, as if sensing something, he suddenly turned his head. His gaze landed on her, took her in for a moment, and he said something quietly to the child beside him, then lifted him down.
“Mother! You came!”
Xi’er ran toward Mu Fulan, eyes bright with delight, and grabbed her hand.
“Lord Xie took me riding outside just now. The outside is so vast! I did not realize this was not yet the edge of the world! Lord Xie said that going west, if you keep walking, there are so many more places still!”
Mu Fulan had been about to slip away quietly, but when she saw that he had noticed her, she gave up on the idea. She smiled and exchanged a few words with Xi’er, then looked up at him and said: “The medicine is prepared. We can set out for home.”
Xie Changgeng gave a cool nod, turned, and left.
……
The return journey went smoothly.
Mu Fulan, together with Xi’er and under Xie Changgeng’s escort, made it safely back to Guzang without incident. That same day, with no time to rest, she rushed to the Ma River valley.
The elder chief was barely clinging to life, breathing his last. The tribal people had been waiting with desperate longing — when they saw her return, they welcomed her like a divine figure, wild with relief and joy.
Mu Fulan poured all her efforts into it, and through the power of the rare medicinal herbs, brought the man back to consciousness, then gradually treated him over a number of days. The remaining poison in the elder chief’s body was completely expelled, and his condition improved day by day.
Another month passed, and the bitter depths of winter began to recede. The early spring of another year arrived quietly.
One morning, just before dawn, Mu Fulan boarded a horse carriage with Xi’er and her maidservants, under the escort of Liang Tuan and his group, and departed from the Military Governor’s residence.
The carriage made its way through the still-deserted streets and arrived at the city gate.
The gate officer had already received orders and opened the gate early. Leading the gate guards, he stood in two straight lines on either side, solemnly seeing the party off as the carriage exited the city.
The carriage passed through the arched city gate and rolled southward along the post road, where the snow had not yet fully melted, rumbling on its way.
Xi’er sat beside her without a word.
Since learning of the impending departure several days earlier, he had barely spoken.
Mu Fulan smiled gently: “Little Dragon Horse can now handle long distances. Do not worry — once it travels with us to the south, it will be very happy there.”
Xi’er nodded: “I know.”
He hesitated, then asked: “Mother, is Lord Xie in the Ma River valley right now?”
Mu Fulan murmured a response.
The Ma River valley should be quite lively today.
Not only had the elder chief recovered, but the garrison town that had been named Wuan was progressing well — the main building had been roofed just days earlier. And the son of the former Jiaocheng magistrate Xu Ke, along with the tribal girl, had heard news of the peace between the two sides and plucked up their courage to return. They had found Xie Changgeng and knelt before him, begging him to preside over their wedding.
Xu Ke had beaten his son soundly, and then had no choice but to accept it. The girl’s family was naturally willing as well, now that things stood as they were. The wedding was today. The presiding figures were to be Xie Changgeng and the elder chief.
He had set out yesterday for the Ma River valley.
“Did you not already say your farewell to Lord Xie yesterday?”
Xi’er closed his mouth and said nothing more.
The carriage traveled several li, gradually leaving the city behind.
Mu Fulan gathered her son into her arms and said softly: “You were up early. If you are tired, sleep.”
Xi’er gave a sound of assent, rested against her, closed his eyes, and lay still without a word — as though he had fallen asleep.
The sky had grown bright, and the sun was nearly up.
Mu Fulan motioned to the maidservant to lower the curtain, so the morning sun’s reflection off the snow would not dazzle their eyes.
The maidservant rose and had just gently lowered the curtain when, all of a sudden, from outside the carriage, Liang Tuan’s voice came: “Princess, the Military Governor is here!”
Xi’er, who had seemed to be fast asleep, snapped his eyes open in an instant, wriggled out from Mu Fulan’s arms, flew to the carriage window, yanked back the curtain, and poked his head out to look.
“Lord Xie!”
He waved his arm with all his might — half his body nearly leaning out — shouting at the top of his lungs, his voice brimming with joy.
Mu Fulan reached out to steady Xi’er and ordered the carriage to stop. She also looked out.
In the morning light, at the far edge of her sight, across the snow-covered plain, she saw a single horse galloping at full speed, surrounded by a group of riders, coming from the direction of the city toward them.
The rider at the front was none other than Xie Changgeng.
Before he even drew close, Xi’er had already turned back to Mu Fulan, his eyes full of hope: “Mother, may I get down and go to Lord Xie?”
Mu Fulan had been about to shake her head. But faced with the child’s eagerly expectant, joyful gaze, the word “no” simply would not come.
She hesitated a moment, then slowly nodded.
Xi’er broke into a smile, scrambled out of the carriage in a hurry, and without waiting to be lifted down, somehow managed to jump straight to the ground. He tumbled when he landed, scrambled back up from the ground in an instant, and ran toward the fast-approaching horse.
Xie Changgeng reached them in the blink of an eye and reined in.
“Lord Xie! Did you not have something to do — did you not go to the Ma River valley?”
Xi’er stopped in front of the horse’s head, catching his breath, and looked up to ask.
Xie Changgeng smiled broadly and said: “I suddenly remembered — there is something I still need to give you.”
He swung down from the horse and unhitched the sword at his waist.
“Xi’er, this sword was made for Lord Xie by his father when Lord Xie was ten years old — he spent a full year’s salary to commission the finest craftsmen to forge it as a gift. Back then, Lord Xie would be up before the fifth watch every day — once he had finished reading, he would practice sword forms with it. The sword is nothing precious, but it has been at Lord Xie’s side all these years. Now that you are leaving, I am passing it on to you. When you grow up, read well and practice diligently with the sword — will you do that?”
As Xie Changgeng spoke and was about to hand the sword over, he suddenly heard a voice say: “No.”
He paused, looked up, and saw the woman had come down from the carriage and was striding toward him. She reached out and pulled Xi’er behind her.
Her gaze was fixed hard upon the sword in his hand, as though it were something she found deeply repulsive.
In that instant, Xie Changgeng had a hazy recollection of something from long ago — in that residence in the capital, on that night when he first laid eyes on her, she had seemed to stare in the same way at this very sword hanging above the bed.
Her expression then had been identical to the one she wore at this moment.
Mu Fulan slowly lifted her eyes to the man before her and said: “This was left by your late father — it is far too precious a thing. I cannot take it from you. I thank you on Xi’er’s behalf for your kind gesture, but please keep it.”
Though those were the words she spoke, Xie Changgeng understood perfectly that she plainly detested the parting gift he had intended to give the child.
The atmosphere congealed at once, carrying a trace of awkwardness.
The hand holding the sword hovered in midair for a moment, then slowly lowered.
“Mother! I want it!”
A child’s voice rang out at that moment.
Xi’er pulled free from Mu Fulan’s grip and ran to stand before Xie Changgeng. “Thank you, Lord Xie! I will take good care of it — and when I am a little older and can use it, I will train and practice sword forms with it!”
He finished speaking, bowed to Xie Changgeng with formal correctness, and then held up both hands to receive the sword.
Xie Changgeng laughed heartily and placed the sword into the child’s two small hands.
He lifted the child from the ground, carried him to the front of the carriage, set him inside, gave his small head a fond pat with one large hand, said a quiet word to Liang Tuan — “see them safely home” — then turned and walked away.
He strode past Mu Fulan where she still stood, without glancing at her, swung himself onto his horse of his own accord, wheeled the horse around, and in the company of his attendants, galloped away as swiftly as he had come — his figure vanishing quickly into the snowy expanse.