On the day before school started, Qiao Qingyu walked out through the thin plywood door, thanks to the spare key provided by Qiao Jinyu. Ming Sheng’s face suddenly appeared in her mind, and all the words she had rehearsed countless times in her heart became jumbled the moment she stepped out—the urge to “just disappear” returned. She borrowed Qiao Jinyu’s phone and very carefully handed her ID card to Qiao Jinyu, to prevent herself from suddenly yielding to the temptation of “running away.”
“Mom went to buy me new shoes. I’ll wait for you to come back and lock the door,” Qiao Jinyu anxiously instructed, “Sister, no matter what, you must return before four o’clock.”
“Definitely.”
Without lifting her eyelids, Qiao Qingyu typed “I’ll wait for you at the camphor tree, don’t reply to this message” and signed her name before quickly pressing that all-too-familiar number.
Qiao Jinyu watched her every move: “Sister, is there nothing between you and Ming Sheng?”
“Nothing. Don’t ask again.”
As she spoke, she had already deleted the trace of the sent message. After returning the phone to Qiao Jinyu, she put on her wool hat, wrapped a long scarf around her nose and mouth, and hurried out the door.
The ever-lush branches and leaves of the old camphor tree provided a natural hiding place; Qiao Qingyu couldn’t imagine anywhere more suitable nearby. Today was a misty, cloudy day, with few people on the riverside path. Throwing her long scarf over the lowest branch, Qiao Qingyu climbed the tree more easily than last time. Then she climbed up to higher branches until she could peek her head out through a small cluster of green leaves while standing. The view was more expansive from up high; now the open iron gate at the end of the path was right under her eyes. If Ming Sheng appeared there, she would know immediately.
While waiting in the tree, memories of “accidentally meeting” Ming Sheng under this tree half a year ago flooded her mind. At that time, neither she nor He Kai had noticed him at all. Perhaps he had been hiding in the densest foliage up high, just like she was today? Perhaps he had already spotted her and He Kai at the iron gate, just like she was watching now, and deliberately teased the two awkward people below?
Her memory continued to drift backward, remembering how she had snuck out of the residential area and happened to meet Ming Sheng’s father looking for him everywhere. Even Boss Feng’s wife didn’t know where he was.
The curtains at his home were always drawn, probably to resist people like Boss Feng’s wife who took pleasure in peeping into others’ lives.
This ancient camphor tree wasn’t the perfect hiding place—it couldn’t shelter from rain or shield from the scorching summer heat. If he wasn’t free even after returning to Chaoyang New Village, why not simply find somewhere else? She didn’t believe he couldn’t find a better place.
So, this tree must truly hold special meaning for him.
Just as she was lost in thought, Ming Sheng’s tall, thin figure appeared at the end of the path.
A lead-gray hoodie covered his head as he walked with wind-like speed. Qiao Qingyu suddenly felt unsteady and quickly crouched down to stabilize herself. By the time Ming Sheng reached the tree, she had changed her position, learning from his previous example, leaning against the trunk and sitting on the sturdy branch.
Ming Sheng climbed the tree in a few quick moves, stopping on a branch to her lower right, leaning against the trunk while standing, his head just reaching the level of Qiao Qingyu’s dangling calves. She looked down, their eyes met, and she quietly held her breath.
Ming Sheng was the first to look away.
“I can’t believe you managed to come out,” he broke the silence with a tone of disbelief mixed with satisfaction. “And you look completely unharmed.”
In the latter sentence, Qiao Qingyu heard confusion.
“I saw your grandfather hit you,” Ming Sheng looked up at her again.
The hysterical scene when she first returned home was Qiao Qingyu’s lifelong shame. Ming Sheng had witnessed that moment—the very thing she had most hoped would never happen had ultimately occurred. Qiao Qingyu felt her dignity crumble.
“Your mother sealed your windows, yet you still won’t run away?”
The mention of Li Fanghao made Qiao Qingyu feel even more ashamed.
“A few days ago, my mom came looking for you and said some excessive things… She’s just like that, gets easily excited, you shouldn’t… I…”
“It’s nothing, I just found it kind of funny, like protesting too much,” Ming Sheng interrupted stammering. “If your mom hadn’t come looking for me, I wouldn’t have known you kept that note I casually wrote.”
Qiao Qingyu’s face grew hot: “That doesn’t mean anything.”
Ming Sheng smiled with pressed lips, a glint of craftiness in his eyes: “You even snuck out to meet me.”
“That doesn’t mean anything either,” Qiao Qingyu suddenly felt very flustered and annoyed. “Stop overthinking.”
“I’m not overthinking.”
His light, almost playful tone dissolved Qiao Qingyu’s anger. The air inexplicably became ambiguous. Qiao Qingyu’s body stiffened as she pressed against the tree trunk as if clinging to her rationality.
“I have no other reason for seeing you,” she declared righteously. “Phone calls leave records, letters can be kept—those are all traces I can’t tolerate. A face-to-face conversation is not only formal but also preserved by memory alone. If one wishes, it can be denied and forgotten with a turn of the head… That’s what I want.”
To her lower right, Ming Sheng’s straight profile was covered in shadow.
Taking a quiet breath, Qiao Qingyu continued: “I’m very grateful for all your help… but between us, nothing has happened, nothing is happening, and nothing will ever happen.”
After a few seconds, Ming Sheng turned his head to the other side: “I don’t understand.”
What’s not to understand? Qiao Qingyu grew agitated: “I’m not someone qualified to pursue freedom. I can’t live as freely as you do. If you want to find a girlfriend, go find someone else. I can’t and won’t date early. Besides, I won’t let a relationship with no future ruin my life.”
“A relationship with no future?”
“After high school, you’ll go to America, I’ll stay in China. Our lives are on two different paths that should never intersect.”
“What does that matter?” Ming Sheng turned back to study Qiao Qingyu’s face. “During Spring Festival when I was in New York, didn’t I still do what you asked? When you were wandering in the cemetery with a high fever, I was the one who brought you back.”
“But…” Qiao Qingyu paused, “Anyway, the further you stay from me, the better. Just like last semester, ignore me, treat me like a stranger…”
“I never ignored you last semester…”
“Your affection is a heavy burden to me! Without it, my life would be much easier!”
Ming Sheng fell silent.
“I’ve disliked you from the very beginning,” Qiao Qingyu finally spoke the words she had rehearsed many times. “I thought you were terrifying from the start, bullying someone you didn’t even know so recklessly. Now I think you’re arrogant, domineering, and stubborn. You’ve been spoiled since childhood, proud and conceited, taking yourself too seriously. No matter how miserable my situation is, I would never like you.”
Her original plan was to leave after saying this, but now Ming Sheng occupied the branch below that she needed to pass, so she had to remain motionless. The effect of her words was obvious—Ming Sheng was frozen, like a sculpture.
The air stagnated, pressing so hard that Qiao Qingyu could hardly breathe. After a long while, she realized she had held back tears. With a self-destructive fervor, she spoke again: “I’d rather you hate me. Let’s hate each other and not interfere with each other.”
“You,” Ming Sheng moved his head slightly, his voice showing rare timidity, “you’ve always held a grudge about me teasing He Kai, haven’t you?”
“I didn’t mean to break his hand, just wanted someone to scare him a bit,” Ming Sheng continued, full of dejection. “But I understand there’s no point in making excuses. Some things, once I casually start them, I can’t control the ending. Like,” he exhaled quickly, “like the rumors about you.”
“Qiao Qingyu,” he raised his head, his expression solemn, “I’m very sorry.”
His seriousness made Qiao Qingyu nervous. Those sincere dark eyes looking at her were filled with infinite regret. She was deeply moved, her heart fluctuating too much to speak.
“It’s fine if you don’t accept me, but, Qiao Qingyu,” he withdrew his gaze, looking toward the river, “don’t hate me.”
“I hate you because what you did to Senior He Kai wasn’t simple teasing,” Qiao Qingyu slowly began, feeling her heart being torn to pieces, “but unprovoked, malicious bullying. You treated me the same way, arbitrarily taking my letter, throwing someone else’s letter to me into the river right in front of me… and then saying you like me. This isn’t love, it’s possession. So to me, your confession is worthless.”
Ming Sheng suddenly clutched his chest and crouched down. After half a minute, still half-crouching, he let out a long sigh, straightened up again, and turned to Qiao Qingyu with lifeless eyes: “If that’s the case, then there’s nothing more to say.”
“The last thing I want to say is, thank you for helping me so much.”
Ming Sheng gave a bitter smile: “That’s all meaningless talk.”
It was over. It seemed Ming Sheng had given up hope. Qiao Qingyu wanted to free herself, to leave this tree. But Ming Sheng remained motionless.
“If there were two choices,” he suddenly looked up, his gaze profound, “freedom but dying soon, or imprisonment but living a long life, what would you choose?”
Qiao Qingyu naturally associated this with her situation. Just as she was about to answer that she had already made her choice, Ming Sheng spoke again: “I always thought you were like me, but now I know we’re very different.”
“You’d choose the first option?”
“Yes,” Ming Sheng exhaled deeply, “Like my grandfather, rather die than live without freedom. Although, I wish he had chosen the second option back then.”
Qiao Qingyu looked at Ming Sheng with confusion.
“Before, my grandfather was sick, covered in tubes after entering the hospital, never without the ventilator. He was always an optimistic person; when he was lucid, he would laugh and tell me he had finally become a ‘robot’ from the future world. I was in ninth grade then, about to take the high school entrance exam. My father thought I was wasting time running to the hospital, so he promised to bring my grandfather home after my exam, along with all the machines keeping him alive, so I could focus on the test. He had just become the hospital director, so I believed him completely and did as he said. But the day after my exam, when I returned home, my mother told me grandfather was gone.”
He gazed into the distance, his voice growing heavier: “Later I learned that my father had turned off those machines. He told me it was his grandfather’s own choice. Being full of tubes was painful, and his lucid moments were getting shorter; better to end his life while he could still smile. I didn’t believe him because I had promised my grandfather I would get into No. 2 High School. My grandfather’s grandfather was among the first students when No. 2 was founded, and both my grandfather and father graduated from there, so he had a special connection to it. Even if grandfather didn’t want to live in pain, I couldn’t believe he would leave before seeing me enter No. 2.”
He paused, seemingly adjusting his breathing, then quickly continued: “Under my constant questioning, my father finally admitted that choosing to let grandfather go without my knowledge was his decision. Grandfather had given him the authority to decide whether and when to go, and he deliberately did it while I was busy with exams and oblivious, to spare me the pain of a forced farewell. He said this was a decision between him and grandfather, he had ensured grandfather’s passing was peaceful, and all I needed to do was accept the result.”
“I couldn’t accept it,” Ming Sheng paused again, then continued, “For a long time, I couldn’t even agree with grandfather’s thinking, even resented him for not taking our promise to heart. Looking back now, Grandfather was always someone with a rich spiritual world who loved freedom; he definitely wouldn’t have wanted to live as an empty shell without self-awareness. Later, I specially wore my No. 2 High School uniform to visit his grave at Anling Cemetery, as a way of fulfilling our promise. But I can never forgive my father for making decisions on his own, depriving me of the chance to properly say goodbye; I hate how he treated me like a fragile child as if I could not cope. Grandfather’s illness, grandfather’s death—such important matters—he concealed the truth from me with the ridiculous excuse of ‘entrance exams.’ I will never forgive him for that.”
The word “concealment” touched a painful spot in Qiao Qingyu’s heart, and she suddenly felt she and Ming Sheng were kindred spirits in their suffering. The difference was that she didn’t have Ming Sheng’s courage to directly question her father, nor could she express her anger through long-term rebellion as Ming Sheng did.
“Your,” after Ming Sheng finished speaking and fell into silence, she felt she had to say something, “your grandfather had a big influence on you, right?”
“My mother is a painter who became famous young. They say in my first few years after birth, I clung to her every day, preventing her from focusing on creating, but she couldn’t abandon me, leading to increasing depression; my father was too busy with work, best at making cold demands, so grandfather took me to Chaoyang New Village for elementary school, to take care of me,” Ming Sheng’s voice was full of melancholy, “Without grandfather, in that house that couldn’t tolerate a speck of dust, I probably would have committed suicide long ago.”
The word “suicide” coming from Ming Sheng’s mouth slightly startled Qiao Qingyu.
“What my grandfather did was probably suicide too, just letting my father decide the timing,” Ming Sheng gazed into the distance with sorrow, then suddenly looked up, his arrow-like gaze piercing Qiao Qingyu’s heart: “Would you?”
“What?” Qiao Qingyu was suddenly confused.
“Just…” Ming Sheng hesitated, “Just, using the most extreme method to completely escape this prison of a world.”
He meant suicide. Why suddenly ask this? Just because she chose not to resist, did he think she would forever remain self-destructive? Or in his eyes, was her well-like life just a waste of existence, without any meaning?
“I’m not that weak,” Qiao Qingyu sounded clear and firm, “Life is quite a long process, I won’t allow myself to dwell only in present pain.”
Ming Sheng smiled quickly: “Except for my parents and me, everyone thinks my grandfather died naturally from illness. I never thought I would tell anyone about this, but,” he paused, “except you. Do you know why I suddenly told you this secret?”
“Why?”
“School starts tomorrow.”
“Hm?”
“This is what I care about most, what I fear others knowing most.”
Qiao Qingyu still didn’t understand.
“I once used your sister’s situation as a weapon to threaten you,” Ming Sheng half-crouched, preparing to climb down, “Now, you also have a weapon to threaten me.”
Qiao Qingyu froze. By the time she came to her senses, Ming Sheng had disappeared below. She carefully climbed down the tree, making several attempts at the lowest branch, about one and a half person-height from the ground. When her arms were tightly hugging the branch, her dangling legs awkwardly and desperately seeking support against the trunk, Ming Sheng appeared from nowhere and caught her legs in one swift motion.
Qiao Qingyu cried out in surprise, and to steady her upper body, unconsciously wrapped her arms around Ming Sheng’s head. She lay stiffly on Ming Sheng’s shoulder for more than ten seconds—Ming Sheng walked back and forth several steps, seemingly looking for a convenient foothold, and finally stepped outside the railing before setting down a blushing Qiao Qingyu. Then, ignoring her extreme confusion, he stepped back inside the railing, pulled his lead-gray hoodie over his head, imperiously pointed to the protected tree sign beside him, chin slightly raised, looking at her arrogantly: “This is my tree. From now on, don’t dare take half a step in here.”
How did he suddenly become a different person? However, being unreasonable was probably his true nature. Qiao Qingyu was both embarrassed and angry, unwilling to back down, she glared back at him fiercely before turning away without looking back.
And so, they would return to their separate paths.