HomeRebornChapter 42: Gunsmoke

Chapter 42: Gunsmoke

In the midterm exams, Qing Yu made it into the top hundred of her grade for the first time, which both surprised and excited her. What made her uncomfortable was that Ming Sheng had fallen behind her again, barely hanging onto the hundredth place, with his class ranking right after hers.

In the three tests since the semester began, Ming Sheng’s grades had been like a roller coaster. This wasn’t the problem – the problem was that Qing Yu seemed more concerned about it than he was. Remembering Ming Sheng’s pale, desperate face when he said he could never meet his parent’s expectations, she imagined Wen Qiuxin’s cold stare upon seeing Ming Sheng’s grades, feeling the torment he might be enduring. But at the same time, she felt she was overthinking it and began criticizing her excessive empathy.

“I just don’t like seeing my name ranked next to his,” she thought. “It only invites gossip.”

In reality, Ye Zilin hadn’t said anything this time, and others seemed not to notice.

Qing Yu reminded herself that no matter how strict other parents were, they couldn’t compare to Li Fanghao. Ming Sheng had been spoiled since childhood and was probably willful and self-centered with his parents too. He lived so freely. Among all the children in the world oppressed by their parents, he was the one who least needed sympathy.

Events proved she had indeed worried too much. On the last day of April, during the parent-teacher conference, Ming Sheng’s mother appeared at school after lunch. Accompanied by the principal, vice principal, and academic director, she walked from the administration building through the teaching building to the library, finally stopping at a temporary long table set up in the library lobby. Unable to refuse the repeated invitations from the principal and vice principal, she picked up a brush and left a line of poetry.

Coming out of the reading room, Qing Yu heard the commotion and peered over the second-floor railing, just in time to witness Ming Yu’s graceful, confident brushwork. “Wind turns white waves into thousand petals, geese dot the blue sky like a line of characters.” That kind of free-spirited elegance mesmerized her. After she finished, scattered applause rose from below, and Qing Yu suddenly realized she would be late for class if she didn’t hurry back.

It was the conversation she caught while passing these adults that convinced her that her worry about Ming Sheng was nothing but unnecessary self-indulgence.

“Sheng didn’t do well this time, but it won’t affect his application to American schools. Scores are just one factor,” Ming Yu told the principal. “His father and I told him to relax, and participate in more activities, not just focus on tests.”

“Yes, yes, after all, his SAT scores are already very high,” the principal smiled. “Don’t worry, he’s very active and has a great attitude. As for grades, with his ability, they’ll improve quickly.”

Qing Yu felt utterly ridiculous. The principal was right – compared to the return-to-school exam, this poor performance seemed to have no impact on Ming Sheng. Look at what he did after the midterm results came out – confidently accepting interviews from the school newspaper and television station, letting others push Su Tian towards him, and even signing up for the school arts festival, reportedly for a piano solo. When Chen Shen curiously asked why someone who had performed abroad with the Municipal Youth Orchestra would condescend to participate in a school arts festival, he replied that he wanted to leave memories before going abroad.

Heh, going abroad – yes, in the end, emotions were just seasoning to him. Wang Mumu was both wrong and right – his passionate singing at the KTV didn’t mean anything, and his heartfelt confession was at most just an immature impulse of a playboy’s youth.

On the day of the parent-teacher conference, during the last self-study period before school ended, Qing Yu was inexplicably compelled to organize her already neat desk drawer. She spent a few minutes quickly flipping through her books one by one, and when she reached the last set of completed practice tests, a thin envelope fluttered to the ground like a snowflake.

Picking it up, the Shun Yun No.1 High School logo on the envelope made Qing Yu’s heart pound, filled with a post-traumatic fear – another letter from He Kai, written who knows when if Li Fanghao discovered it, the consequences would be unthinkable.

Besides Ming Sheng, who else would repeatedly meddle with He Kai’s letters? After being rejected, he took pleasure in tormenting her as revenge. Childish and despicable.

The bell had just rung, and since Qing Yu didn’t have classroom duty on Fridays, she had to reach the school gate within ten minutes, where Li Fanghao was waiting to take her home. After freezing for several seconds holding the envelope, her hand began moving again. She quickly packed her bag, clutching the letter directly in her hand as she hurried downstairs.

She decided not to cross the assembly square that faced the school gate directly from the teaching building, but instead to go behind the teaching building, passing the tennis courts and volleyball courts, around the administration building, and out the side gate. The route was longer but would avoid Li Fanghao’s possible watching gaze.

She couldn’t be late, so Qing Yu walked very quickly.

As soon as she left the teaching building, she began opening the envelope while walking. The letter wasn’t long, just one thin page with large blank spaces at the top and bottom, the deep blue writing in the middle appearing sincere in its extreme neatness. “How are you, Qing Yu,” Qing Yu read silently while walking rapidly, “You’re not well, are you?”

“I must have scared you, which is why you didn’t reply to my letter at the end of last semester. Forget that letter, pretend I never said anything. After you finish your college entrance exam too, I’ll formally, properly say it all again, and then you can give me your answer, okay?”

She had reached the tennis courts. Qing Yu slowed her steps slightly, steadying her breathing.

“I saw about your family in the newspaper,” she picked up speed again, starting to read the second paragraph. “Although many people think you shouldn’t have done that, I think you’re an absolute warrior, completely overturning my previous impression of you. Only someone with such a heart could write such spirited characters. I admire this side of you very, very much.”

Past the tennis courts and into the administration building’s back garden, Qing Yu began reading the final paragraph.

“Senior year is already torturous, without you here it’s even more like a prison. Fortunately, I remember your smiling face. I hope the students at No.2 High understand you and treat you gently. I hope you can smile more, you’re especially moving when you smile.”

The last two characters were “He Kai.” Qing Yu stopped walking, finding herself standing in the corridor leading from the back garden to the bicycle shed, above her head was a dreamlike expanse of light purple – the lush wisteria was in full, gorgeous bloom.

She put away the letter, collected herself, and continued walking quickly across the fallen wisteria petals on the ground.

“Hey!”

Ming Sheng’s voice made her brake again.

She didn’t know where he had emerged from, alone, hands in his pockets, leisurely circling to her side. Qing Yu didn’t look at him and took two small steps forward, but he took one big step back, blocking her path.

“Aren’t you bored?” Qing Yu glared at him angrily, waving the letter in her hand. “Why did you intercept my letter again?”

Ming Sheng shrugged lazily: “I didn’t.”

“Specifically hiding it where I couldn’t see,” Qing Yu took a deep breath in anger. “If I hadn’t checked my desk, my mom would have found it tonight at the parent-teacher conference! Are you trying to ruin me?”

“I put it on your desk as soon as I got it, you’re just slow.”

Sophistry. Qing Yu turned her head away, about to walk again, but Ming Sheng blocked her once more.

“March 6, 2009, I found this letter while reading the newspaper and put it on your desk that day, stuck it in the practice test book right in the middle of your desk, on the page after where you had opened it,” Ming Sheng recited as if from memory. “I thought you’d find it, but who knew when you came back from the library the bell had already rung, and you just closed the book and stuffed it in the drawer right away, I was anxious for you.”

The class subscription newspapers that Guan Lan collected daily were indeed often read by Ming Sheng first, so what he said was probably true.

“You remember it clearly.”

“Of course, you love the library,” Ming Sheng smiled shamelessly. “I even remember it was twelve degrees that day, with a gentle breeze, and you were wearing a moon-white turtleneck sweater under your uniform.”

How could he use such flowery words?

“It’s the one you wore when you came to my house…”

“I know.” Qing Yu glared at him.

Ming Sheng just smiled at her, his expression gradually becoming serious.

“Last Saturday, I went to Shun Yun No.1 High,” he began, his tone casual. “Your alma mater is strict, even having school-wide self-study on Saturdays.”

Qing Yu immediately became alert: “Why did you go to Shun Yun No.1 High?”

“To find He Kai.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry, I went alone,” Ming Sheng had a bitter smile at the corner of his eyes. “Didn’t do anything, just apologized to him in person.”

Qing Yu responded with a slow “oh,” and then lowered her eyes.

“Back to the day this letter arrived,” Ming Sheng shrugged, his tone drifting again. “Did you know you smiled at the podium that day?”

Seeing Qing Yu’s confused expression, he continued, adding weight to his voice so it no longer sounded frivolous: “Teacher Sun had you write a sentence from your essay on the blackboard, and praised your writing and handwriting in front of everyone.”

With his reminder, Qing Yu remembered – yes, that had happened. But since Teacher Sun hadn’t chosen her for the city writing competition later, she hadn’t dwelled on the praise.

“After the wild wind dispersed, the rain grew vertically, the city as solemn as dreams.”

Ming Sheng recited the sentence she had written on the blackboard, synchronized with Qing Yu’s silent recitation. He stopped speaking, seemingly waiting for her reaction, his gaze deep and burning.

“Teacher Sun praised several people that day,” Qing Yu’s eyelashes fluttered uncontrollably twice before she quickly regained composure. “Gao Chi, Deng Meixi, Jiang Nian, Wang Haoran, and…”

“Well, I only remember yours.”

Unbearable. Qing Yu moved, almost knocking Ming Sheng over as she fled from this emotionally charged wisteria tunnel.

If there was any positive outcome from being intercepted by Ming Sheng, it was that when Qing Yu saw Li Fanghao that day, her troubled mind unhesitatingly threw away the letter in her hand. Later, when she tried to recall the letter’s contents, her thoughts were incomplete, constantly interrupted by Ming Sheng’s words, unable to concentrate. Ming Sheng, who had originally jumped directly from the tree to stand between her and He Kai, was undoubtedly a forceful intruder – even in her mind, he was as domineering as in reality. He had long since made his intentions clear through his actions and words – he wanted to stand in front, making her see him, not He Kai.

Qing Yu decided to write back to He Kai, telling him she hadn’t received his previous letter, to prevent his anxiety and misunderstanding. She couldn’t write at home, and the classroom was too chaotic, so after May Day, she spread out paper in the library reading room. While considering how to begin, she suddenly felt grateful she hadn’t seen that earlier letter, as it meant she had no burden, no regrets, and her relationship with He Kai remained as pure and straightforward as before.

But this didn’t mean Ming Sheng was right to throw away the letter, she reminded herself, there was no need to feel inexplicable gratitude toward him.

In her reply to He Kai, she lightly described her life in Huan Zhou. “Thank you for affirming my actions,” she wrote, “although now I’m not as certain as before that what I did was right. Every coin has two sides, and I caused irreparable harm to my family – that’s a fact.”

At the end of the letter, she tactfully asked He Kai not to write again.

“You must have seen my family’s pain… After my sister’s tragic experience, my mom went to another extreme, watching me constantly, and checking everything I had. Anything involving boys appearing around me would break her psychological defenses. Though my current life isn’t free, it’s stable and peaceful, and I’m content. With the college entrance exam approaching, everything else must give way – don’t let writing back to me interfere with your studies. Wishing you success in advance on your exam!”

After finishing, she read it through once, satisfied with her politeness and courtesy, but her thoughts inevitably turned to Ming Sheng. In front of Wang Mumu, she had denied saying anything to hurt Ming Sheng, but deep down, she knew how hurtful her words in the tree had been. She wondered if his increased activity this semester had anything to do with her harsh words.

Look, the arrogant, domineering, stubborn person you looked down on, how popular I am.

But why fall into such speculation? Qing Yu questioned herself while walking back to the teaching building. Why must she think everything Ming Sheng did was related to her?

Today she finished writing and returned to the classroom early, fifteen minutes before class. At the stairway corner, she heard an argument from the corridor above, seemingly between Su Tian and Deng Meixi, Guan Lan, and others.

“The poetry recitation and piano solo have been combined into one program, Teacher Miao already agreed, who are you to say no?” Deng Meixi’s voice had the same tone as when she had questioned Qing Yu about why she had prevented Ming Sheng from playing basketball.

“Right, Deng Meixi won first prize in the city recitation competition and was on TV. Who else but her could form a program with Ming Sheng’s piano solo?” Guan Lan supported this.

“I said it’s over time, your poetry recitation was added later, why should yours stay and our aerobics be removed?” Su Tian protested loudly. “Don’t you understand first come, first served, senior?”

“Listen to the teacher’s arrangements. If you think it’s unfair, go talk to the teacher yourself!” Deng Meixi’s voice grew louder.

“You make it sound like the teacher forced you to perform with Ming Sheng, when you actively reported the program to the teacher, all that Youth Day morality talk just to please her, that’s why she replaced us!”

War was about to break out. Qing Yu hugged the wall as she passed them, wishing she could become invisible in this gunsmoke, quickly hiding in the classroom.

She wondered if they would still argue so inelegantly if Ming Sheng were present. Events proved her guess right – not long after, Ming Sheng returned and dismissed Su Tian with just a few words.

Deng Meixi had won, she thought, feeling both the excitement of watching the drama unfold and the pain of disappointment – after English recitation and karaoke, this was the third time Ming Sheng had actively chosen Deng Meixi.

Before afternoon PE class, Qing Yu first ran to the small shop beside the administration building to buy stamps, then hurried to the school gate hoping to drop the letter for He Kai in the mailbox across the street. The security guard asked for her pass, which she couldn’t produce. Despite her pleading, the guard wouldn’t let her out. The bell rang, so she had to put the letter in her uniform pants pocket and run to the field for PE class. After class, she tried begging the guard again but was still refused.

She felt somewhat dejected, turning to see Ming Sheng, Chen Shen, and others swaggering across the assembly square, each drenched in sweat and holding a can of cola. As they passed by her, Ming Sheng glanced at her casually while drinking his cola, with a victorious attitude, as if laughing at her predicament.

Qing Yu turned again and, before the guard could react, ran straight out the school gate. Amid the guard’s loud shouts, she sprinted across the road and solemnly pushed her letter into the mailbox.

When she returned, she found Ming Sheng and his friends stopped at the side of the school gate, as if specifically waiting for her. As she passed them, her gaze swept across Ming Sheng’s stern face, catching his obvious frustration, and in her heart, surprisingly, joy of victory ignited.

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