After returning to Huan Zhou, Qiao Qingyu became increasingly quiet. Noticing her daughter’s preoccupation, Li Fanghao came home early one evening to have a heart-to-heart talk.
“Be honest with Mom. What’s really on your mind?” Li Fanghao asked as they sat on the old living room sofa, its brown faux leather darkened with age.
Emphasizing her words, Li Fanghao continued, “Stop moping around all day.”
Qingyu knew a direct answer would trigger an emotional outburst from her mother. Glancing at Li Fanghao’s tense face, she reached out and patted her shoulder. “Mom, don’t worry. I’m not thinking about anything troublesome.”
“Look at me,” Li Fanghao insisted, resisting the urge to forcibly turn Qingyu’s head. “The more you beat around the bush, the more it shows you’re hiding something.”
Qingyu understood her mother’s desire for openness. She longed to discuss Qiao Baiyu’s situation, but facing Li Fanghao made her hesitate. Years of accumulated, inexplicable worry and fear prevented her from speaking up.
Li Fanghao’s tone grew stricter. “I’m not a mind reader. You’re grown up now. Learn to communicate with me proactively, understand?”
“I do,” Qingyu replied softly.
Despite her internal struggle, Qingyu couldn’t bring herself to say anything meaningful. She hated her timidity in front of Li Fanghao. Reflecting on this futile conversation later, she felt hypocritical for suppressing her desire to uncover the truth just to maintain her image as a “worry-free” daughter.
At school, Qingyu could be her authentic self without concern for others’ opinions. While Jiang Nian was popular and involved in various activities, Qingyu grew accustomed to solitude, much like her time at Shunyun No. 1 High School. She enjoyed the peace.
Behind the teaching building, the multi-purpose building had a rooftop that was once a popular spot for couples. The school had since surrounded it with tall, barbed wire fencing, claiming it was for safety. The cold, oppressive atmosphere beneath the wire drove away the couples, turning it into a smoking hideout for troublemakers.
Qingyu had visited the rooftop twice before—avoiding the handful of school delinquents was easier than dodging other students.
Both previous visits were on rainy days. On a chilly mid-October afternoon, rain began to fall as school let out. Qingyu, who had just reached the school gate, took out her umbrella and headed back through the teaching building. She climbed the stairs of the multi-purpose building, making her way to the rooftop for the third time.
As expected, the rooftop was deserted. As the rain intensified, Qingyu set down her bulging schoolbag near the wooden door. Umbrella in hand, she stepped into the rain and gazed out through the circular wire fencing.
The city blurred in the rain. Neon lights gradually illuminated, their glow diffused by the water, creating a dreamy beauty.
Whenever Qingyu was alone on the rooftop, her thoughts inevitably drifted to those charred paper scraps. Baiyu’s bright, lively eyes flashed in her mind like sparks, with Qiao Jinrui’s gentle, caring shadow behind her. Then her mind would go blank.
Today was no different. After an indeterminate time, Qingyu realized she had been lost in thought.
The rain had already soaked half of her canvas shoe, the chill seeping into her body and making her shiver. Turning around, she saw two girls by the wooden door who hadn’t been there before. One stood empty-handed while the other held a broom and dustpan, bent over and emptying the contents into Qingyu’s schoolbag.
“Hey!” Qingyu shouted. “What are you doing?!”
The empty-handed girl covered her mouth and laughed, while the one dumping the trash glanced at Qingyu and quickened her actions.
As Qingyu rushed towards them, the laughing girl stepped back nervously, gesturing to her companion. “Deng Cheng, hurry! She’s coming!”
Their panicked expressions made them look as if they’d seen a plague victim. Ignoring this, Qingyu tossed her umbrella aside and raced down the stairs, arms outstretched to block the two girls’ escape.
Now she recognized them. The girl who had been laughing was Su Tian from Class 6, a doll-like beauty who had been getting close to Ming Sheng since the start of the school year.
“Trash belongs in the garbage bin,” Qingyu said sternly. “You’ve gone too far.”
Su Tian looked at her with disdain, pulling Deng Cheng back a few steps. Her condescending attitude stung Qingyu.
“Clean out my schoolbag,” Qingyu demanded.
“Tch,” Deng Cheng pointed her broom at the wooden door. “This is our class’s assigned cleaning area. There was a trash can by the door, but it’s gone. What am I supposed to do?”
“It’s outside,” Qingyu replied calmly. “On the rooftop, in the corner.”
“I didn’t see it,” Deng Cheng insisted aggressively, her eyes flashing with hostility. “There was a schoolbag where the trash can should be, so I dumped the trash in it. Simple as that.”
Su Tian nodded approvingly and added with mock seriousness, “It’s pouring outside. How could we go out to get the trash can?”
“Is it my fault you couldn’t reach the trash can?” Qingyu raised her voice. “That bin is full of cigarette butts. Why don’t you dump the trash in Ming Sheng’s bag? Isn’t he always up there smoking with his friends?”
Su Tian’s expression instantly changed, her eyes widening horrifically as if a beautiful demon had revealed its true form. “Who do you think you are to say Ah Sheng’s name? How dare your filthy mouth even mention him? Let me tell you, if it weren’t for—”
“Clean out my schoolbag,” Qingyu interrupted coldly. “I don’t need you to tell me anything. Even if Ming Sheng did this, I’d make him clean it up too.”
“Shut your dirty mouth!” Su Tian screamed. “Don’t you dare say Ah Sheng’s name again!”
“Ming. Sheng,” Qingyu enunciated clearly, staring into Su Tian’s furious eyes. “Ming. Sheng. Ming. Sheng…”
She sensed Su Tian was about to explode—and found herself oddly anticipating it. She hoped Su Tian would become violent, punch her, or push her down, giving Qingyu a reason to retaliate without restraint.
“Shut! Up!” Su Tian covered her ears and stomped her foot, shrieking.
Suddenly, she spun around and charged towards Qingyu’s schoolbag on the upper floor. She grabbed the open bag and dumped its contents onto the rain-soaked rooftop.
“You…” Qingyu was speechless.
Su Tian sauntered down the stairs, radiating an air of triumph.
“I cleaned out your bag,” she declared haughtily as she passed Qingyu. “It was just dust. The rain will wash it clean.”
That evening, Qingyu returned to Chaoyang New Village much later than usual. She texted Li Fanghao, claiming she’d lost her umbrella and needed to wait out the rain. Staying in the classroom, she spent a long time carefully wiping down her rain-soaked textbooks and exercise papers. Fortunately, first and second-year students didn’t have evening classes, so the classroom was empty as night fell. She could spread her books and papers across several desks, using the ceiling fans to dry them.
Most items were salvageable, but the pale green hardcover book of literary excerpts broke her heart.
Qingyu had a habit of copying down passages she liked. The charred paper fragments left by Baiyu were pasted in the middle of this notebook. Keeping it at home risked Li Fanghao finding it, so she carried it with her in a book she’d never have to show anyone. When Su Tian emptied the schoolbag, the notebook had fallen open to the middle, landing face-down in the rooftop puddles. By the time Qingyu retrieved it, those fragile pages were soaked through.
Thankfully, the writing remained legible. However, the wet papers stuck together and tore easily. As Qingyu tried to separate them, she accidentally ripped one page.
The tear revealed a boy’s name: He Feihai.
Presumably one of Baiyu’s former classmates, from the neighboring He family village. The name seemed oddly familiar, yet Qingyu was certain she’d never heard Baiyu mention it.
Baiyu might have mentioned him and Qingyu hadn’t paid attention. She’d always been indifferent to her sister’s world.
By the time the bell rang for the third evening study period, Qingyu had finished all her homework. She stood up, gathering her books onto her desk and tucking the damp notebook into her bag.
Just then, the back door burst open with a bang.
“Er Hua,” Ye Zilin blustered into the classroom like a whirlwind. “Oh, finished your homework already?”
Qingyu quickly zipped up her bag and glanced out the window. The rain had stopped.
“Hey, don’t be so cold,” Ye Zilin moved to block Qingyu’s path. “I heard Su Tian bullied you today?”
The ceiling fan continued to whir, wafting the lingering cigarette smell from Ye Zilin’s uniform toward Qingyu, making her wrinkle her nose.
“Tiantian told Ah Sheng about it, all pitiful-like,” Ye Zilin said in a frivolous tone, leaning in closer. “But bro knows you’re the one who got wronged. How about…”
“Move,” Qingyu interrupted.
Ye Zilin paused, then grinned lecherously. “You dared to tell Tiantian to dump trash in Ah Sheng’s bag? How brave! But you know, Ah Sheng didn’t move that trash can. He doesn’t even smoke! We don’t dare smoke in front of him! It was me who moved it. Aren’t I environmentally conscious…”
He trailed off as Qingyu looked him straight in the eye.
“Move,” she repeated.
Ye Zilin’s lips curled into an inexplicable smile. Suddenly, he backed away into the aisle, bowing with an exaggerated “after you” gesture.
His fake deference disgusted Qingyu but also gave her a sense of satisfaction and victory.
Looking at the tall, imposing Ye Zilin, she realized he was just a paper tiger.
The glamorous Su Tian was merely a ridiculous germaphobe who saw Qingyu as a weapon of mass destruction, even when she did nothing. So there was no need to fear her either.
Qingyu knew her calm exterior was just a façade. In her conflicts with Su Tian and confrontations with Ye Zilin, she could feel the surging anger in her chest. Yet no matter how intense this anger became, it would automatically recede like an ebbing tide the moment she opened her mouth.
For some reason, after seeing the remnants of Baiyu’s writings, she lost the ability to explode.
Now she cared less about the rumors than before. What do you know? She thought. You call her filthy, dirty and debased, but you have no idea that it was love that lured her down this path of no return.
Overnight, she had come to understand and forgive everything her sister had done.
Su Tian spread the story of how she had “dealt with” Qingyu to anyone who would listen. The incident quickly became a joke throughout the school. Qingyu sensed more overt hostility; many people disliked her cold, expressionless face. Jiang Nian, long accustomed to Qingyu’s aloofness, now felt an urgent frustration towards her: “Su Tian bullied you. You could have told the teachers!”
Qingyu didn’t think teachers could resolve her predicament, though perhaps she was just too cowardly, fearing retaliation from Su Tian or Ming Sheng. However, to her surprise, the disciplinary director, nicknamed “Fatty Huang,” took the initiative to speak with her.
When she arrived at Fatty Huang’s office, she found Su Tian was already there.
“Some students reported a conflict between you two,” Fatty Huang said, making them stand side by side. “Su Tian, you speak first. What happened?”
Su Tian opened her soft, charming mouth and immediately claimed that during last week’s cleaning, Qingyu had deliberately kicked the rooftop trash can into a corner. Qingyu took a deep breath and turned to face her.
“So it’s still my fault, Director Huang,” Su Tian said, her expression sincere and determined. “I was too angry at the time. I shouldn’t have dumped the senior’s books outside.”
Suddenly, she turned to Qingyu: “Senior, I’m sorry!”
Qingyu stared at her, momentarily stunned. Just then, the door opened behind them, and unexpectedly, Ming Sheng appeared.
“You’re actually on time today, boy,” Fatty Huang barked irritably. “Wait outside for now!”
Ming Sheng silently closed the door again. Meanwhile, Su Tian apologized to Qingyu once more, her voice louder and more sincere: “Senior, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to!”
Fatty Huang was the first to be moved: “Alright, Qiao Qingyu. You were at fault first, so you should also apologize to Su Tian. Let’s put this little matter behind us.”
Su Tian waited expectantly. After a long pause, Qingyu finally spoke: “I won’t apologize. I did nothing wrong.”
Fatty Huang frowned: “It takes two to tango. You must both be at fault somehow. Su Tian has apologized twice, and you’re still unmoved? Are you saying you’re completely blameless?”
“I didn’t move the trash can to the rooftop,” Qingyu calmly looked at Fatty Huang. “Even when they dumped garbage in my bag, I didn’t insult them. I did absolutely nothing wrong.”
“No, senior, that’s too much. How could I possibly—” Su Tian began wailing.
“How can you be so self-righteous!” Fatty Huang interrupted Su Tian’s cries. “Then tell me, why did Su Tian touch your bag?”
“She dumped trash into my bag—”
“I didn’t dump it!” Su Tian shouted.
Qingyu glanced at her and rephrased: “She touched my bag because I mentioned Ming Sheng’s name.”
Su Tian was shocked, her face instantly flushing red, lips trembling. Fatty Huang looked between them, puzzled: “So that Ming Sheng boy is involved in this too?”
“I suspected Ming Sheng and his friends had kicked the trash can onto the rooftop, so I told Su Tian to dump the trash in Ming Sheng’s bag,” Qingyu calmly replied. “Su Tian got angry because she likes Ming Sheng and felt I wasn’t worthy of saying his name.”
Fatty Huang blinked, seemingly trying to process this information. Su Tian’s face reddened down to her neck, her eyes filled with resentment and murderous intent as she glared at Qingyu.
Although Su Tian’s crush on Ming Sheng was common knowledge, having it exposed to a teacher was a different matter entirely. Qingyu knew she had once again made an enemy of the school’s popular crowd.
“So,” Qingyu looked up, meeting Fatty Huang and Su Tian’s eyes again, “I won’t apologize.”
With those words, she felt immensely satisfied. Ignoring Fatty Huang’s stare, she turned and strode out.
As she opened the door, Ming Sheng leaned to the side, making way for her to pass.
Only then did Qingyu remember Ming Sheng had been waiting outside the whole time?
As she walked past him, she thought, he must have heard the conversation inside. Reaching the staircase, Qingyu suddenly stopped on impulse.
She felt Ming Sheng’s gaze on her back.
After a moment’s hesitation, she turned around. Contrary to her expectation of Ming Sheng averting his gaze, he was casually leaning against the wall, openly and unabashedly looking at her.
The hallway was dim, making it difficult for Qingyu to discern his expression.
“Hey,” Ming Sheng called out as she turned, his voice still carrying that slightly weary tone, “About that trash can…”
“It wasn’t you who moved it,” Qingyu interrupted him. “I know. I’m sorry.”
For some reason, she recalled that he didn’t smoke. After speaking, she rushed down the stairs, her footsteps echoing loudly, barely masking the thundering of her heart.
Since being labeled as “pitiful, stupid, and truly pathetic” by Ming Sheng at the start of the school year, she hasn’t spoken to him again. Qingyu knew that all her troubles at school stemmed from Ming Sheng’s initial judgment. Strangely, though, her resentment towards him didn’t last long. Unlike others who blatantly avoided her or mocked her, Ming Sheng seemed to treat her as if she were invisible.
Because of Ming Sheng, a group of boys often gathered near Class 5’s entrance. Whenever Qingyu passed by, they would shamelessly joke about her. Among them, Ming Sheng always appeared detached, neither stopping nor joining in. Once or twice, when Qingyu glared back fiercely, she caught a fleeting look of gravity on Ming Sheng’s face.
She recalled Ming Sheng describing Qiao Baiyu as tragic. This alone made her feel he was different from the others.