After returning to Huan Zhou, Qiao Qingyu grew increasingly withdrawn. Seeing her lost in thought, Li Fanghao came home early one evening specifically to have a heart-to-heart talk with her.
“Tell Mom honestly, what are you thinking about?”
They sat on the old sofa in the living room, the brown artificial leather beneath them blackened with age.
“Tell Mom honestly,” Li Fanghao emphasized, “Stop moping around all day.”
Speaking directly would surely trigger an emotional earthquake in Li Fanghao. Looking at her mother’s tense face, Qiao Qingyu reached out and touched her shoulder: “Mom, don’t worry, I’m not thinking about anything messy.”
“Look at me,” Li Fanghao wanted nothing more than to turn Qiao Qingyu’s head toward her, “Look at me, I told you to be honest, the more you beat around the bush, the more it shows you’re hiding something.”
Qiao Qingyu knew Li Fanghao just didn’t want her daughter to have secrets. She also imagined being able to have an open conversation with her mother about Qiao Baiyu, but whenever she faced Li Fanghao, she would lose her nerve. That baseless worry and fear accumulated since childhood was the reason she couldn’t bring herself to speak up.
Li Fanghao’s tone grew increasingly severe: “Mom isn’t a mindreader, and you’re grown up now. You need to learn to communicate with Mom actively about anything that’s bothering you, understand?”
“I understand.”
After all that preparation, she still couldn’t bring herself to say anything. Qiao Qingyu hated her timidity in front of Li Fanghao. Thinking back on this meaningless conversation later, she felt hypocritical—to maintain her image as the “worry-free” child in her mother’s eyes, she had forcefully suppressed her desire to seek the truth.
At school, where Qiao Qingyu didn’t have to watch others’ expressions or care about their opinions, she could be her true self. Jiang Nian was popular with many friends and actively involved in various activities, and over time, Qiao Qingyu grew accustomed to being alone—just like at Shunyun First High School. She quite enjoyed this tranquility.
The rooftop of the multi-purpose building behind the teaching building had once been a popular spot for couples, but the school had later surrounded it with tall barbed wire, claiming it was for safety to prevent students from falling. The rooftop beneath the iron barbs looked cold and oppressive, scaring away the couples and becoming a smoking spot for the school’s troublemakers.
Qiao Qingyu had been to the rooftop twice—there were only so many troublemakers at school, and avoiding them was much simpler than avoiding other students.
Both times had been on rainy days. One day in mid-October, when autumn was in full swing, rain began to fall as school let out. Qiao Qingyu, who had just reached the school gate, took out her umbrella from her bag, opened it, turned back through the teaching building, entered the multi-purpose building, and climbed the stairs, heading to the rooftop for the third time.
As she expected, there wasn’t a soul on the rooftop. The rain grew heavier, and Qiao Qingyu set down her bulging schoolbag by the wooden door, then stepped into the rain with her umbrella, gazing outward through the circles of barbed wire.
The city was blurred in the rain curtain. The gradually brightening neon lights soaked in the water, their halos spreading, creating a dreamy beauty.
Whenever she was alone on the rooftop, Qiao Qingyu’s thoughts would involuntarily drift to those few charred pieces of paper. Qiao Baiyu’s bright, lively eyes flashed like sparks in her mind, with Qiao Jinrui’s gentle, caring shadow behind her. Then her thoughts would freeze, her mind going blank.
Today was no different; Qiao Qingyu only realized she had been spacing out after who knows how long.
The rain had already soaked half of her canvas shoes, the coldness invading her feet and creeping into her body, making her shiver. Turning around, Qiao Qingyu saw two girls by the wooden door who had appeared at some point—one standing empty-handed, the other holding a broom and dustpan, bent over emptying the dustpan’s contents into Qiao Qingyu’s schoolbag.
“Hey!” Qiao Qingyu shouted, “What are you doing?!”
The standing girl covered her mouth and laughed, while the one dumping trash glanced at Qiao Qingyu and quickened her dumping motion.
Seeing Qiao Qingyu rushing over, the laughing girl nervously stepped backward, waving to the other girl: “Deng Cheng, hurry, she’s coming!”
That expression of avoidance was like seeing a plague god. Qiao Qingyu didn’t care anymore, threw her umbrella aside, ran downstairs with thundering steps, and stretched out both arms to block the two who were trying to escape.
Now she could see clearly that the girl who had been covering her mouth laughing was Su Tian from Class 6 of the first year, doll-like and delicate, who had been getting close to Ming Sheng since the start of school.
“Trash should go in the trash can,” Qiao Qingyu said seriously, “You’ve gone too far.”
Su Tian looked at her contemptuously, pulling Deng Cheng back two steps, her condescending attitude stinging Qiao Qingyu.
“Clean my schoolbag.”
“Hmph,” Deng Cheng pointed at the wooden door with her broom, “This is our class’s cleaning area, there was a trash can by the door, but it’s gone, what am I supposed to do?”
“It’s outside,” Qiao Qingyu said calmly, “On the rooftop, in the corner.”
“I didn’t see it,” Deng Cheng was aggressive, her eyes flashing threateningly, “There was a schoolbag where the trash can be, so I dumped it in the schoolbag, simple as that.”
Su Tian nodded approvingly beside her, adding earnestly: “It’s raining so hard outside, how could we go out to get the trash can?”
“Is it my fault you couldn’t get to the trash can?” Qiao Qingyu couldn’t help raising her voice, “That trash can is full of cigarette butts, why don’t you dump the trash in Ming Sheng’s bag? Isn’t he the one always bringing people to smoke on the rooftop?”
As if hitting a switch, Su Tian’s face changed instantly, her big eyes bulging horrifyingly, like a beautiful demon revealing its hideous true form: “Who are you to even mention Ah Sheng’s name? How dare that filthy mouth of yours speak Ah Sheng’s name? Let me tell you, if it weren’t for…”
“Clean my schoolbag,” Qiao Qingyu coldly interrupted Su Tian, “I don’t need you to tell me anything. Let me tell you, even if Ming Sheng did something like this, I would make him clean my schoolbag too.”
“Shut your dirty mouth!” Su Tian roared, “Dare to say Ah Sheng’s name again?”
“Ming-Sheng,” Qiao Qingyu stared into Su Tian’s furious eyes, enunciating each syllable, “Ming-Sheng, Ming-Sheng, Ming-Sheng…”
She felt Su Tian was about to explode—and strangely, she found herself looking forward to it. She hoped Su Tian would be more violent, directly punch her or push her down, giving her a reason to retaliate without restraint.
“Shut! Up!” Su Tian covered her ears and screamed, stamping her feet.
Suddenly she turned and rushed upstairs to Qiao Qingyu’s schoolbag, grabbed the open bag, and dumped everything inside onto the rain-washed rooftop.
“You…” Qiao Qingyu lost her voice.
Su Tian walked downstairs refreshed, with the air of a victor.
“I cleaned your bag,” as she passed by Qiao Qingyu, she said haughtily, “It was just dust I dumped in there, the heavy rain will wash it clean.”
That day, Qiao Qingyu returned to Chaoyang New Village very late. She sent a message to Li Fanghao saying she had lost her umbrella and needed to wait out the rain, then stayed in the classroom, spending a long time carefully wiping her rain-soaked textbooks and exercise papers. Fortunately, first and second-year students didn’t have evening self-study, so the classroom was empty at night, allowing her to spread her books and papers across multiple desks, turning on the whirring ceiling fan to blow them dry.
Everything else didn’t matter much, but the light green hardcover book of literature excerpts made her heartache.
Qiao Qingyu had a habit of copying down excerpts when reading. Those few charred pages left by Qiao Baiyu had been pasted in the middle section of her excerpt book. Keeping them at home would risk Li Fanghao finding them, so they could only be kept in a notebook she carried with her but never had to show anyone. When Su Tian dumped the schoolbag, the excerpt book in the middle automatically opened to the center, falling straight into the rooftop’s rainwater. By the time Qiao Qingyu picked up the book, those few remaining pages were completely soaked through.
Fortunately, the writing remained clear. But the wet pages stuck together and were fragile; when Qiao Qingyu tried to separate them, she accidentally tore one.
The tear went through a boy’s name: He Feihai.
Presumably a former classmate of Qiao Baiyu’s, someone from He Family Village next to Nan Qiao Village. Perhaps because the name was so common, Qiao Qingyu found it unusually familiar. However, after thinking for a long while, she was certain she had never heard this name from Qiao Baiyu’s mouth.
It was also possible that Qiao Baiyu had mentioned it but she hadn’t paid attention. She had always been indifferent to her sister’s world.
The third-year students had three evening self-study periods, and by the time the bell rang for the third period, Qiao Qingyu had finished all her homework. She stood up, gathered her books onto her desk, and put the half-wet excerpt book into her school bag.
Just then, the back door was thrown open with a bang.
“Er Hua,” Ye Zilin burst into the classroom like a whirlwind, “Oh, finished your homework?”
Qiao Qingyu quickly zipped up her schoolbag and turned to look out the window—the rain had stopped.
“Hey, don’t be so cold,” Ye Zilin moved closer, blocking Qiao Qingyu’s path to the door, “Heard you got bullied by Su Tian today?”
The ceiling fan was still whirring, and the lingering cigarette smell from Ye Zilin’s uniform drifted into Qiao Qingyu’s nose, making her wrinkle her brow.
“Tiantian told Ah Sheng about it, all pitiful-like,” Ye Zilin said flippantly, moving even closer, “But, big brother knows you’re the one who was wronged, so why don’t…”
“Move.”
Ye Zilin was stunned, then smiled suggestively: “You dared to tell Tiantian to dump the trash in Ah Sheng’s bag, how brave of you! But that trash can wasn’t moved by Ah Sheng, don’t you know he doesn’t smoke? We don’t even dare smoke in front of him! It was Big Brother who moved it there, aren’t I environmentally conscious…”
He stopped as Qiao Qingyu raised her eyes to stare directly at him.
“Move.”
Ye Zilin’s lips curved into an inexplicable smile, and then he quickly backed into the aisle, bowing in an exaggerated “after you” gesture.
His affected reverence made Qiao Qingyu feel both disgusted and somewhat satisfied, with a hint of victory.
Looking at the big and intimidating Ye Zilin, he was just a paper tiger.
The bright and beautiful Su Tian was a ridiculous germaphobe; even if Qiao Qingyu did nothing, she was like a weapon of mass destruction in Su Tian’s eyes, so there was no need to fear her.
Calmness was just her facade, Qiao Qingyu knew this. In her confrontations with Su Tian and standoff with Ye Zilin, she could feel the surging anger in her chest, but no matter how turbulent this anger became, it would automatically recede like an ebbing tide whenever she opened her mouth.
For some reason, after seeing the charred papers Qiao Baiyu left behind, she had lost the power to explode.
Now she didn’t mind the rumors as much as before. What do you all know, she thought. You call her filthy, dirty, and cheap, but none of you know that what led her down this path of no return was love.
Overnight, she had understood and forgiven everything her sister had done-
Su Tian told everyone about how she had “dealt with” Qiao Qingyu and the incident quickly spread throughout the school as a joke. Qiao Qingyu felt more obvious malice; many people couldn’t stand her cold, expressionless face. Jiang Nian was long used to Qiao Qingyu’s cold responses, and now showed a kind of urgent frustration toward her: “Su Tian bullied you, you could have told the teachers!”
Qiao Qingyu felt teachers couldn’t resolve her predicament, though perhaps she was just being cowardly, afraid of retaliation from Su Tian or Ming Sheng. However, unexpectedly, the disciplinary director, nicknamed “Fatty Huang,” actively sought her out.
When she arrived at Fatty Huang’s office, she found Su Tian was there too.
“Some students reported that there’s a conflict between you two,” Fatty Huang had them stand side by side, “Su Tian, you speak first, what happened?”
Su Tian opened her soft, appealing mouth and immediately said that last week during cleaning duty, Qiao Qingyu had deliberately kicked the rooftop trash can into the corner. Qiao Qingyu took a deep breath and turned to look at her.
“So it’s still my fault, Director Huang,” Su Tian’s expression was sincere and determined, “I was too angry then, I shouldn’t have dumped senior’s books outside.”
Then she suddenly turned to Qiao Qingyu: “Senior, I’m sorry!”
Qiao Qingyu stared at her blankly, unable to react for a moment. Just then, the door opened behind them, and unexpectedly, Ming Sheng appeared in the doorway.
“You’re actually on time today,” Fatty Huang barked irritably, “Wait outside first!”
Ming Sheng silently closed the door again. Meanwhile, Su Tian apologized to Qiao Qingyu again, her voice louder and more sincere: “Senior, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!”
Fatty Huang was moved first: “Alright, Qiao Qingyu, you were wrong first, you should also apologize to Su Tian, and we can put this little matter behind us.”
Su Tian waited. After a long moment, Qiao Qingyu finally spoke: “I won’t apologize. I did nothing wrong.”
Fatty Huang frowned: “It takes two to tango, you must both be at fault. Su Tian has apologized twice, and you’re still unmoved? Are you saying you did absolutely nothing wrong, huh?!”
“I didn’t put the trash can on the rooftop,” Qiao Qingyu calmly looked at Fatty Huang, “Even when they dumped trash in my schoolbag, I didn’t curse at them. I did nothing wrong.”
“No, senior, that’s too much, how could I possibly…”
“Why are you so self-righteous!” Fatty Huang interrupted the wailing Su Tian, “Then tell me, why did Su Tian touch your schoolbag?”
“She dumped trash into my bag…”
“I didn’t dump it!” Su Tian shouted.
Qiao Qingyu glanced at her and corrected herself: “She touched my bag because I mentioned Ming Sheng’s name.”
Su Tian was shocked, her face instantly turning crimson, lips trembling. Fatty Huang looked between them puzzled: “That kid Ming Sheng is involved in this too?”
“I suspected the trash can was kicked to the rooftop by Ming Sheng and his group, so I told Su Tian to dump the trash in Ming Sheng’s bag,” Qiao Qingyu replied calmly, “And Su Tian got angry because she likes Ming Sheng and thought I wasn’t worthy of saying those two syllables.”
Fatty Huang blinked, seemingly trying hard to digest this statement. Su Tian’s blush spread to her neck, her eyes filled with resentment and murderous intent as she looked at Qiao Qingyu.
Although everyone knew Su Tian liked Ming Sheng, bringing it up in front of a teacher was another matter entirely. Qiao Qingyu knew she had once again made an enemy of the school’s popular figures.
“Therefore,” Qiao Qingyu looked up again at Fatty Huang and Su Tian, “I won’t apologize.”
After saying this, she felt immensely satisfied, ignoring Fatty Huang’s expression as she turned and strode away.
As she opened the door, Ming Sheng leaned to the side, effectively making way for her.
Only then did Qiao Qingyu remember Ming Sheng had been waiting outside the door.
Passing under Ming Sheng’s gaze, she thought, he must have heard the conversation inside. Walking with large strides to the stairwell, for some inexplicable reason, Qiao Qingyu suddenly stopped.
She felt Ming Sheng’s gaze fixed on her back.
After a moment’s hesitation, she turned around. Contrary to her imagination of Ming Sheng averting his gaze, he was casually leaning against the wall, looking at her openly and unabashedly.
The corridor was dimly lit, and Qiao Qingyu couldn’t make out his expression.
“Hey,” seeing her turn back, Ming Sheng called out, still in that slightly languid tone, “That trash can…”
“It wasn’t you who moved it,” Qiao Qingyu interrupted him, “I know. I’m sorry.”
She inexplicably thought of how he didn’t smoke. After speaking, she ran downstairs, her footsteps thundering, barely covering the pounding of her heart.
Since being declared “both pitiful and stupid, truly tragic” by Ming Sheng at the start of school, she seemed to have never spoken to him again. Everything she endured at school had started with Ming Sheng, Qiao Qingyu knew this, but strangely, her resentment toward Ming Sheng hadn’t lasted long. Unlike others’ blatant avoidance or mockery, Ming Sheng seemed to treat her as if she were invisible.
Because of Ming Sheng, there was often a group of boys gathered around Class 5’s door, and they would joke about Qiao Qingyu without restraint when she passed by. Ming Sheng, always in the crowd, maintained an air of detachment, neither stopping nor joining in. Once or twice, when Qiao Qingyu glared back fiercely, she unexpectedly caught a fleeting gravity in Ming Sheng’s expression.
She thought again of Ming Sheng saying Qiao Baiyu was tragic. Just for that, she felt Ming Sheng was different from the others.