HomeSerendipityChapter 58: Confession

Chapter 58: Confession

Madam Xu leaned against the camphorwood bathtub wall, reminiscing about her maiden days in the inner chambers, completely unaware of Ming Shu’s thoughts behind the screen.

The warm bath water softened her words, stripping away her usual commanding arrogance.

“Wenhui, another lady, and I were the closest of friends, always meeting to play together. Wenhui was the youngest and most vivacious among us three, always laughing, talking, and making us happy, carefree as could be.”

Ming Shu thought that the other lady mentioned must be Wen An’s mother.

Everyone has their time as a daughter, and those years as unmarried young ladies in the inner chambers were perhaps life’s most carefree period – cherished by parents, accompanied by dear friends, five or six years of laughter and play when beauty was at its peak. Looking back after marriage into noble houses, besides lamenting the swift passage of youthful beauty, one had to sigh that time changes not only appearances but hearts as well.

“Back then, Wenhui was open and generous. Many young men in the capital secretly admired her, but she paid them no mind until she met Wei Xian. Over twenty years ago, Wei Xian was just a lowly soldier, not even a proper military official, though he was handsome and skilled in martial arts – proficient with all weapons, quite different from the pampered young lords we usually met.”

Speaking of their first meeting, it was at an autumn banquet over twenty years ago. Wei Xian was just one of the guards responsible for the banquet’s security. However, an incident occurred when some desperados infiltrated and held several ladies hostage, including Du Wenhui and her two close friends. Wei Xian secretly infiltrated their position and risked his life to save them, getting stabbed in the process and nearly losing his life.

“Wei Xian was promoted for this achievement and transferred to the Palace Guard. After that, Wenhui kept finding excuses to appear before him. As her friends, we couldn’t miss Wenhui’s feelings. She had set her heart on Wei Xian, always trying to get close to him openly or secretly, and gradually they became familiar. Wei Xian… though of humble birth, was capable, quick-witted, and quite skillful in his dealings. He was also considerate of Wenhui. At the time, we observed from the sidelines how he attended to her every need and found no fault. Except for one thing – he disliked others approaching Wenhui, especially men. If any man exchanged even a word or two with Wenhui, his face would darken. During that period, two young lords in the capital who had some interaction with Wenhui were secretly retaliated against, likely connected to Wei Xian.”

“This… seems excessive. If it was just normal interaction with proper etiquette, what wrong did Madam Wei do? And how innocent were those young men who spoke with her!” Ming Shu found this disturbing, and connecting it with the bits of information she’d gathered about Wei Xian and Du Wenhui these days, found Wei Xian increasingly peculiar.

“Since even you think so, we felt even more that something was wrong and tried to advise Wenhui to look more carefully,” Madam Xu sighed again. “But what use was it? She wouldn’t listen, and under Wei Xian’s honeyed words, she thought he was deeply in love with her.”

In their youth, with limited experience, Du Wenhui thought a man like Wei Xian acting so jealously must deeply love her. Combined with his passionate vows, Wenhui became convinced of Wei Xian’s deep love. To appease his jealousy, she retreated further and further, no longer speaking with other men. Gradually, she developed to the point where all her actions had to conform to Wei Xian’s preferences, becoming a wooden person who neither laughed nor played.

“But with such a vast difference in social status between Wei Xian and the Du family, this marriage must have been difficult to arrange,” Ming Shu asked.

“Wenhui was determined to marry Wei Xian and wouldn’t listen to anyone. She even had two falling-outs with her parents and attempted suicide twice. Her parents were forced to compromise. However, because of this marriage, her father was so angry at her actions that he almost cut ties with her,” Madam Xu said as she rose from the tub, the water having cooled.

Hearing the water movement, the maid had already run behind the screen to help Madam Xu dress. Ming Shu also stood up, seeing only the slender silhouette of a woman through the screen.

“After marriage, Wei Xian kept her under strict watch, rarely allowing her beyond the second gate. Our chances to meet became increasingly rare, and on the occasional meetings, she appeared haggard and increasingly thin. She didn’t visit her natal home either. Her mother fell ill from missing her and sent several letters without getting to see her. At first, I thought it was because of her break with her father, but later when I finally met her at another family’s banquet, she just sat there dumbly, not talking to anyone. Her former personal maid came to ask for my help in conveying a message to the Du family, requesting her natal family to visit the Wei household. I didn’t know what had happened, and when I asked Wenhui, she kept saying nothing was wrong… but how could that expression be nothing wrong? There were bruises on her wrists, who knows what suffering she endured in the Wei household. Fearing something would happen, I went to tell her mother at the Du house.”

Madam Xu, now dressed, emerged from behind the screen.

Ming Shu saw a beautiful woman with flowing hair slowly extend her hand toward her.

To have given birth to someone like Song Qingzhao, Madam Xu must have been beautiful. Well-maintained over the years, she looked much younger than her peers. Now, without makeup and elaborate hairstyle, wearing only a plain sleeping gown, she appeared gentle and noble, her entire bearing completely different from usual.

Ming Shu stepped forward to take her hand and walked with her to the bedroom.

Madam Xu’s interest in talking had been sparked, and feeling no sleepiness, she pulled Ming Shu to sit by the bed and continued speaking about Du Wenhui.

“Later, the Du family must have sent someone to the Wei household, though I don’t know what was discussed. During that period, when I saw Wenhui, her face had some color and happiness, and Wei Xian was also promoted. However, from that day on, all the people who had come to the Wei household with Wenhui as part of her dowry left one by one. Later, Wenhui became pregnant and had a… she lost her good complexion again, and then when the Du family fell from grace, Wenhui rarely appeared in public. The people you see around Wenhui now, and those in this back courtyard, are all Wei Xian’s people.” Speaking of this, Madam Xu became somewhat angry. “That Mama Lu, even when I speak with Wenhui, she has to watch nearby, never leaving, impossible to send away. It’s truly infuriating – I can’t even have a private conversation with Wenhui.”

She struck the bed as she continued: “That Wei Xian is good at pretending – outside he acts like he cherishes his wife more than anyone, but if he truly cherishes her, how could he imprison her at home like a prisoner? Meanwhile, he’s taken several concubines, even bringing courtesans into the household. Wenhui can’t say a word about it, and she’s become so meek – not a trace of her youthful confidence remains.”

Only those close to Du Wenhui knew these things; outsiders didn’t know how they were deceived by Wei Xian, all thinking he was good. Technically, these were private matters of the Wei household’s inner quarters, not for an outsider to comment on, but over these twenty-some years, watching Du Wenhui gradually become what she is now, how could she not feel angry? Pitying her misfortune, angry at her lack of resistance – this anger had been suppressed for over twenty years, and tonight, for some reason, she didn’t want to hold back anymore and poured everything out like beans from a bamboo tube.

“I see,” Ming Shu said softly, and seeing Madam Xu’s indignant expression, comforted her, “Madam’s deep friendship with the First Madam Wei is truly admirable and enviable.”

“Don’t call me Madam anymore, my maiden name is Xu,” Madam Xu said.

“Aunt Xu,” Ming Shu followed her wishes.

Madam Xu liked her straightforwardness and smiled, saying: “It’s all friendship from our youth. She married into such a family, her natal family fell from grace, her mother passed away, and her father couldn’t care for her – if we sisters didn’t look after her, who knows how she’d be treated in the Wei household? But what we can do is limited, we can only occasionally send invitations. Though she distances herself from us, knowing she’s still alive and well is enough.”

Just like this time – they hadn’t seen Du Wenhui for a long while, all invitations sent to the Wei household were returned, and with the ghost incidents at the Wei house, Madam Xu was worried. That’s why she had entered the Wei household under the pretext of leaving the Duke’s mansion in anger.

“Aunt Xu, it’s Madam Wei’s fortune to have such a devoted friend as you,” Ming Shu said sincerely.

After marriage, which woman doesn’t face a sea of troubles? Friendships from maiden days often fade naturally, and for someone like Madam Xu who married into a noble house with high status, who doesn’t just mind their own business? Yet she still tried every way to help Du Wenhui despite her distance.

Such friendship was truly precious.

Ming Shu both envied and admired it.

“What fortune is there? My family constantly complains that I meddle too much, wanting to ask about this and manage that. Outsiders see my good marriage and mostly envy me, but how do they know that with such a large family, dealing with all the messy affairs, looking after this person without forgetting that one, worrying twelve hours a day – who has it better than whom? It’s like drinking water – only the drinker knows if it’s sweet or bitter. What’s hateful is that after all this worry, my husband and son still resent me,” Madam Xu sighed.

“Don’t be sad, Aunt Xu. Family grudges don’t last overnight; they’ll remember your kindness in their hearts,” Ming Shu comforted her.

“When sons grow up and get wives, they forget their mothers – how would they remember my kindness? He fell in love with a girl from a poor background and thinks I oppose their marriage because I look down on the poor and love wealth, so he’s angry with me. Yes, I was a bit impulsive that day and didn’t clarify the circumstances, letting others sow discord and use me as a tool. I was wrong about that, but I’m his mother – how could I possibly harm him?” Madam Xu grabbed Ming Shu’s hand and sat up straight, saying, “The old saying about matching doors and houses isn’t without reason, though you young people don’t like to hear it. Would it be good if everyone lowered themselves like Wenhui marrying Wei Xian, ending up in such a miserable situation for love? You judge – am I wrong to hope my son marries a daughter-in-law of matching status?”

“…” Ming Shu thought, she must be talking about me. And asking me to judge? What could she judge? The whole thing was a misunderstanding from start to finish – how did she and Song Qingzhao get tied together? This misunderstanding needed to be cleared up sooner or later.

She thought for a moment and said tactfully: “Aunt Xu, your son comes from a noble family, and that ordinary girl – they probably haven’t met many times. There must be some misunderstanding…”

“What misunderstanding? He admitted it himself in front of his parents that he likes that girl! You don’t know my son’s temperament – usually so proud, never taking any girl to heart. As his mother, I’ve practically presented every young lady in Bianjing before him one by one, but he remained unmoved. Yet he treats that girl differently and even opposes me for her sake. Tell me, is this proper… Immortal Xuanqing? Xuanqing?”

Madam Xu was complaining about Song Qingzhao, and after talking for a while, wanted a response, but found the person who had been listening to her prattle had become stiff as wood.

Ming Shu felt both awkward and shocked.

She seemed to have inadvertently heard Song Qingzhao’s feelings.

Song Qingzhao had admitted in front of his parents that he liked her.

This…

Was inconceivable.

————

Who knows how that night passed?

Madam Xu grew tired as she spoke and gradually fell asleep leaning against the headboard. Ming Shu helped the maid lay her down properly before collapsing on the chamber’s daybed to spend the night.

She didn’t sleep very soundly, her mind full of either the Wei family’s chaotic affairs or what Madam Xu had said about Song Qingzhao liking her…

She couldn’t understand – they had barely met a few times, how could someone like Song Qingzhao like her?

What did it feel like to be liked by someone? She didn’t know, just felt somewhat confused.

As dawn approached, she fell into a confused sleep and had a dream.

In the dream, there was the blue-robed youth whose face remained blurry, standing on the lamplight reaching out to her, speaking in an extremely gentle voice.

“I am fond of you, Ming Shu. Marry me.”

Ming Shu covered her wildly beating heart as she awoke from the dream.

It was already bright daylight, and neither Madam Xu nor the maids were in the room. She took several deep breaths to calm her thundering heartbeat, then remembered something else.

“Oh no!” She quickly threw off the covers and got up, not even taking time to wash up before running outside.

She had promised to leave a safety signal for Lu Chang every day at sunrise, but because she had woken up late, she had missed the time.

Running breathlessly to the corner gate, she supported herself against the doorframe to catch her breath.

Across the street, Lu Chang stood leaning against the wall, seeming to have waited for a long time.

Today, he too wore a blue robe.

White wall, blue clothes, as if her dream had reappeared.

Ming Shu knocked her head – what was she thinking? Why was she trying to match every man to her dream?

That was Lu Chang, her brother!

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