The Dragon King stroked his long beard and smiled. Ye Tian’s expression was very unpleasant. Rong Chen Zi pressed his lips together, his face expressionless. He Bang swept in like the wind, reaching out to grab the food off the octopuses’ heads. The octopuses neither dodged nor flinched. Ye Tian grabbed He Bang first: “You haven’t washed your hands yet!”
She hesitated briefly, then finally wiped both hands on Ye Tian’s clothes, let out a happy cry, and began to eat.
Ye Tian sighed and turned to look at Rong Chen Zi. The Dragon King watched He Bang wolfing down her food with a genial smile: “He Pan, you have done very well this time. Your injuries are more or less healed now. Thank the Daoist Master for his care, and come back to the Eastern Sea with this king.” He straightened his posture and spoke formally, with great decorum: “Naturally, the Eastern Sea will remember Qingxu Monastery’s kindness in treating and nursing one of our Eastern Sea officials. All expenses incurred and the like, this king will send someone to deliver them shortly. We are most grateful to the Daoist Master and to all present.”
He folded his hands in a bow of courtesy and moved to take He Bang’s hand.
He Bang found the food he had brought quite delicious, and her favorable impression of him had grown considerably. She had no intention of pulling away. Yet the Dragon King did not manage to touch He Bang’s hand — Rong Chen Zi stepped in and blocked him. The Dragon King feigned puzzlement: “Daoist Master, what is the meaning of this?”
Rong Chen Zi pulled He Bang over and pressed her against his chest. He dared not say anything like “as long as she does not consent, no one shall take her away” — who could say whether she would consent or not? The one in his arms was still only a little girl of six or seven years, with the flower-bud bun hairstyle Ye Tian had made for her, two bright pearls dangling at her ears. Her small face was rosy and soft, her eyes round and liquid as if they could speak.
Rong Chen Zi was by nature forthright and principled. Now with a small girl in his arms, he felt somewhat conflicted within — yet his stance was resolute: “I’m afraid the Dragon King will not have his wish today.” Ye Tian ran over and took He Bang from him, wiping her mouth with a silk handkerchief. Rong Chen Zi’s expression was grave: “She is already this humble Daoist’s person. Wherever I am, she shall be. No one should entertain any designs of taking her away.”
The Dragon King had not expected him to be so firm: “Daoist Master is a man of reason. This king has come to bring back an official under his command — this is entirely proper and natural…”
Before he could finish, Rong Chen Zi cut him off: “Your Majesty need say no more. There is not the slightest room for negotiation on this matter. Please take your leave.”
The Dragon King had no intention of leaving just like that. His smile did not diminish: “But if the Daoist Master wishes to forcibly detain someone of the Eastern Sea, that would be rather disrespectful toward this king. Whether she stays or goes, neither you nor I can decide — we must still ask He Pan herself what she wishes.”
He Bang was in Ye Tian’s arms, still stuffing food into her mouth, her two cheeks puffed up like steamed buns. Everyone in the room looked at her. She glanced at Ye Tian, then at the sea cucumber, and finally at Rong Chen Zi. Rong Chen Zi met her gaze, his eyes severe. She did not dare look at him any longer and buried her head back in Ye Tian’s arms. After a long silence, she said, very softly: “I want to go back to the water.”
Ye Tian masked her barely audible words with a cough, and said in a loud voice: “As you can see, she is still just a child. How can she know whether her own decision is correct? If she is truly to decide for herself, it must wait until she is a little older!”
The Dragon King appeared to deliberate for a moment. Rong Chen Zi held a divine rank in the Heavenly Court no lower than his own, so he could not actually come to blows with him: “Very well. Then this king shall come to receive her once her powers are fully restored.”
He Bang cast a lingering, reluctant gaze at… the octopuses behind him. The Dragon King smiled faintly: “There are many, many sea cucumbers in the sea. Once you return, there will be plenty to eat.” Ye Tian immediately patted the He Bang in her arms on the head: “Qingzhen is cooking right now, and it will certainly taste better than sea cucumber. Come, let’s go and see!”
She scooped up He Bang and walked off to the dining hall without looking back.
The Dragon King departed with his entourage from the Eastern Sea. Rong Chen Zi stood where he was. Those words He Bang had spoken just now — he had heard them.
She wanted to go back to the water.
Dinner was eaten in the dining hall. He Bang sat between Ye Tian and Rong Chen Zi. He was someone who rarely smiled by nature, and in ordinary times the larger He Bang had skin thick as a fortress wall, so one never really noticed. Now that He Bang was small again, she was rather afraid of him. She leaned against Ye Tian, doing her best not to even let the hem of her clothes touch Rong Chen Zi. Rong Chen Zi, for his part, was trying to be as kind to her as he could. He sighed quietly and used the serving chopsticks to pick up a sea urchin ball for her.
He did not ordinarily eat meat or fish, and previously everything in the dining hall had been vegetarian. Now, for the sake of accommodating this river clam, special dishes had been prepared separately. She ate with her head down, seeming to know that Rong Chen Zi had heard her, and not daring to look at him. But Rong Chen Zi had no intention of simply letting it go: “In Qingxu Monastery… has everyone treated you badly?”
He Bang paused in the middle of a sea urchin ball and quietly nodded. Rong Chen Zi’s expression cooled: “Have you been unhappy here?”
He Bang shook her head. He spoke in a measured, unhurried tone: “Then why do you want to go to the Eastern Sea?”
He Bang kept her head bowed. She had been stuck on half a dumpling for quite a while. Just as Rong Chen Zi was about to speak again, Ye Tian hurriedly stepped in: “Senior Brother! At least let her finish eating first!” She stood up and switched seats with He Bang. He Bang quietly began to sniffle and cry. Ye Tian immediately placed more food in front of her and coaxed her gently: “Don’t cry, don’t cry. He didn’t scold you. He’s the bad one, and we won’t pay him any attention. Come on — have another piece of fish…”
That evening, He Bang clung to Ye Tian. Rong Chen Zi was also weighed down with troubled thoughts: “You will lead tonight’s evening prayers.”
Ye Tian looked at He Bang behind her, thinking it would be good to give the two of them more time together, and agreed with a nod. He Bang was still clutching at her robe hem; that pitiful, wretched little look softened something in Ye Tian’s heart without her even knowing why, and even the dislike she had once held for her vanished completely. Ye Tian crouched down in front of He Bang and raised her hand to wipe the soup from the corner of her mouth: “Let Senior Brother keep you company for a while. Be a good girl.”
He Bang was not quite willing, but Rong Chen Zi simply bent down and scooped her up, carrying her back to his room without another word.
Back in the bedroom, He Bang sat on the bed, her gaze uneasy. Rong Chen Zi also felt somewhat at a loss. How does one face a child of six or seven years? What should be said between the two of them? What should be done? He did not know. In the past when they were together, it was always she who took the initiative — she would want something, and he would then consider whether to give it. Now she no longer knew what she wanted, and he found that he did not know what he ought to do either.
Rong Chen Zi stood before the bed. He Bang sat in the middle of it with her head hanging low — his disciples often had this same reaction when they had done something wrong: apprehension, fear. But was this what he wished for?
He remained silent for a long while, and He Bang finally fell asleep. Her eyelashes were long; her lips were tender and full. Settled and still, she looked like an exquisite porcelain doll. Rong Chen Zi had a mind to kiss her, but she was truly too young — so small that he could not bring himself to overstep propriety. He could only pull the blanket over her. Then, from beneath her lashes, clear bright drops of water welled up like morning dew: “I want to go back to the water.”
A sudden pang shot through Rong Chen Zi’s heart: “Don’t go back.” He kissed He Bang on the forehead. “I love you. Don’t go back.”
As if the lamplight were disturbing her sleep, she burrowed into Rong Chen Zi’s arms and pushed her head into the crook of his elbow, murmuring in a voice thick with the haziness of sleep: “You don’t love me. You only love Ye Tian.”
The voice was extremely soft, still clouded with the blurring of half-sleep — yet Rong Chen Zi heard it clearly. He did not sleep the entire night.
With the lamp extinguished, the silence around him was complete. Darkness always invites too much thinking. He thought of many things. From their first meeting last September, to the estrangement that existed between them now. That day when he had discovered her sleeping inside the crystal shell in the Sea Sovereign’s palace — even though the beauty before him was arresting, he had barely given her a second glance. Later, at the monastery, though he had made various accommodations for her, it was nothing more than the dictates of hospitality toward a guest. And when the first physical intimacy arose between them, even his indulgence and care for her had been no more than the weight of a man’s sense of responsibility.
She had betrayed him — a hidden arrow entering his body. He had been angry, yes, but who could honestly say there was not also a faint, thin thread of relief?
He was a Daoist. Half his life had been spent in cultivation and spiritual practice, his heart set on the Dao. Had he ever truly wished to have someone stir the dead calm waters of his existence?
And yet the two of them always seemed bound by ties that could not be severed. After so many twists and turns, he had been fortunate enough to find her again after losing her — and yet, reflecting carefully on it now, he realized he had no idea at all how to love.
He reached out and gently touched He Bang’s little cheek. She slept deeply and sweetly, completely unaware.
The next day, when He Bang woke, she found that Rong Chen Zi was still there beside her, holding an ancient scroll in his hands. She opened her eyes wide in surprise — ordinarily at this hour, Rong Chen Zi would be leading his disciples in morning prayers. Noticing she was awake, Rong Chen Zi set the book down: “Get up.”
He lifted He Bang down from the bed. Attendant disciples brought in hot water. Previously, Rong Chen Zi had had Qingxuan put away all of He Bang’s things — but Qingxuan had been foresighted enough to keep them stored away rather than discarding them. Now they came in useful again. Rong Chen Zi placed He Bang in a wooden basin and let her revert to her river clam form. Since her injury, Rong Chen Zi had not given her a proper bath out of worry she would sneak water to drink, only wiping her down with a damp cloth. Now that her injury had improved, a little water would not matter, and so he filled the wooden basin with water and let her soak.
He Bang quite enjoyed bathing. She crawled happily around in the basin while Rong Chen Zi scrubbed her with a loofah: “All right, hurry up and finish so you can eat breakfast.”
His voice was slightly softer than usual, without his customary severity. He Bang soaked up half the water in the basin and then spat it all back out, overjoyed. She finally spoke to him: “Is Daoist Master not doing morning prayers?”
Rong Chen Zi pinched her shell to stop her drinking the bath water: “I moved morning prayers up by two quarters of an hour.” He said it evenly.
After playing in the water for a while with her, Qingxuan brought over food. Rong Chen Zi, as always, had plain congee with simple side dishes; He Bang’s portion was considerably more generous — just the pastries alone came in six varieties. He Bang bent her head down and ate furiously, then after a while looked up at Rong Chen Zi. Rong Chen Zi gave her head a pat and said nothing.
He Bang noticed that Rong Chen Zi’s free time had begun to increase. He moved morning prayers up by two quarters of an hour, so when he returned, He Bang would still be sleeping — and the first thing she saw upon opening her eyes was him. At midday, he received pilgrims during her afternoon nap. Almost all of his remaining time was spent accompanying He Bang. She was growing, and her shell was constantly itchy, so she frequently reverted to clam form and crawled around rubbing her shell against things. Rong Chen Zi was often the one helping her scratch her shell, and when she wanted to clamp onto toys, he would play along with her. Gradually, He Bang no longer felt as averse to him as before.
To all appearances the monastery had not changed much — but if one had to name some difference… perhaps it was that all the young disciples noticed their master’s voice had grown quieter, and his temperament considerably less severe. In the past, when teaching any Daoist technique or swordsmanship, he would demonstrate it once, and the slightest sign of laziness would earn a sharp reprimand. Now, if there were anything unclear, he would actually explain it patiently.