HomeNian Xiang SiChapter 91: Help! Help!!

Chapter 91: Help! Help!!

The next day, before dawn had even broken, Rong Chen Zi opened his eyes to find He Bang already staring at him with her dark, glistening eyes — he had no idea how long she had been watching. In the past, whenever there had been activity during the night, she would sleep until the sun was high in the sky. Rong Chen Zi rose and dressed, and after a long while he pulled He Bang upright, his voice solemn as a vow: “If we are ever separated again after this, I will kill you before I leave.”

He Bang closed her eyes and fell asleep shortly after.

Having only just recovered, Rong Chen Zi inevitably had to test his disciples in both martial arts and Daoist cultivation, and on top of that there were guests arriving from every direction — he had many close friends, and entertaining them all was genuinely exhausting.

That evening, Ye Tian prepared a great deal of food, and Qingxu performed her own culinary magic, filling the table to overflowing. All the young Daoist disciples gathered in the dining hall. Qingxu Temple, long silent, rang once again with laughter and cheer. During the banquet, Yuyan Zhenren sat at the head of the table, Rong Chen Zi to his right, and He Bang naturally sat beside Rong Chen Zi.

“How does the true Qi flow within your body?” Yuyan Zhenren asked, his expression warm and gentle, the sickly pallor on his face somewhat diminished.

“Thank you for your concern, Zhenren. All is well,” Rong Chen Zi replied respectfully, and Yuyan Zhenren relaxed: “You must be careful in all your actions going forward — never again be so careless.”

Rong Chen Zi naturally agreed, but Ye Tian had already picked up some food for Yuyan Zhenren with her chopsticks: “Zhenren, can we please not talk about these things at the dinner table?”

Yuyan Zhenren smiled as well: “Let us all just eat.”

The young disciples inevitably toasted Rong Chen Zi with tea in lieu of wine, and as he kept responding to them one after another, He Bang grew increasingly displeased. She picked up a couple of bites of food with her chopsticks, found it tasteless, sat for a while longer, then simply got up and headed back to her room.

The room was perfectly quiet. He Bang lay sprawled on Rong Chen Zi’s bed for a while, tossing and turning, unable to sleep. In a fit of irritation she climbed up, ran back to the secret chamber, and settled herself on the ivory bed.

She had no idea how much time passed before she drifted off into a vague and hazy sleep.

Before her was the back mountain of Lingxia, and He Bang stumbled forward, grumbling under her breath: “Knowing full well that someone doesn’t like to walk, whoever is making me trudge through a stretch even in a dream is absolutely terrible!”

A laugh rang out ahead of her, clear and bright: “Child, come here.”

He Bang was thoroughly displeased but grumbled her way forward nonetheless. Ahead was a large rocky outcrop, with a few small dishes set out on the stone. Sitting across from her was an old man with white hair and a white beard, a kind and benevolent face, dressed in Daoist robes, with a horsetail whisk resting against his arm. He Bang hadn’t even sat down before she grabbed her chopsticks with one hand — but before she could take a bite, she noticed Yuyan Zhenren also stumbling his way over from across the way.

“Old friend, are you well?” The white-bearded elder greeted Yuyan Zhenren and invited him to sit. He Bang suddenly had a flash of insight: “You wouldn’t happen to be Rong Chen Zi’s master — the one called Zixin, would you?”

The white-bearded elder smiled with warm gentleness: “Truly a brilliantly clever child.”

He Bang could never withstand flattery, and immediately warmed toward the old man: “This old man’s eyes aren’t bad at all — of course I’m the cleverest.”

“This poor Daoist’s gifts extend well beyond good eyes,” the white-bearded elder replied mildly, picking up some food for her with his chopsticks. He Bang tasted it and smacked her lips: “Your food is delicious too. Oh, oh, oh, oh — I heard you died long ago?”

The white-bearded elder nodded with a smile. He Bang’s face fell with regret: “What a pity. The Heavenly Dao is unjust — those who shouldn’t die are the ones who go.” Then she slanted her eyes toward Yuyan Zhenren and continued muttering, “While those who should die somehow keep on living.”

Yuyan Zhenren was so incensed he nearly spat blood. Zixin Daozhang raised a hand to stop him: “Child, when Rong Chen Zi woke up, were you happy?”

He Bang tilted her head: “Of course I should be happy,” then she thought about it a moment, quite puzzled, “but for some reason I’m also a little unhappy. Old man, why is it that Zhiguan has so many people who care about him? So many people who treat him well?”

The white-bearded elder picked up more food for her: “Because this is his Dao. He is a righteous god, destined to be born to uphold the order of the Heavenly Dao. His Dao is to show benevolence and virtue to the world, to save and deliver all living beings. And you, child — what is your Dao?”

He Bang chewed on the end of her chopsticks, furrowing her brow in thought for a long time: “I don’t know. What is my Dao?”

The elder patted her head with affection: “After four or five thousand years of thinking, you still haven’t found it?”

He Bang shook her head: “Before, I only wanted to live, and to eat all sorts of delicious food. When Zhiguan’s soul was being consumed by the dragon energy in the imperial tomb, I wanted him to live. Now that he’s alive, should I just go back to eating lots of good food?”

Yuyan Zhenren was so furious his teeth ached: “Are you a pig?! All you think about is eating, eating, eating!”

He Bang exploded in fury: “You miserable old man, if you dare call me names again I’ll hit you!!”

The white-bearded elder stopped Yuyan Zhenren and gave He Bang another piece of tofu skin. He Bang ate the tofu skin and instantly became much more docile. With a casual wave of his hand, a pot of tea appeared on the rock along with three bamboo cups. He rose and poured the tea: “Child, when a person is lost, there are two choices. One is to simply pick a direction and start walking. The other is to follow someone who knows the way.”

He Bang seemed to understand a little: “You mean I should follow someone who knows the way?”

The elder handed her the tea, his voice warm: “At the very least, you won’t go wrong, isn’t that right?”

He Bang nodded, but was still a little vexed: “But there are so many people who care about him — doesn’t that mean I’m not important at all?”

Yuyan Zhenren felt that communicating with this woman was utterly beyond reason: “All you have in your heart are these petty affections. You carry within you the Spirit Essence of Celestial Wind and Celestial Water, and you have even been fortunate enough to attain immortality — yet where is even a trace of an immortal’s breadth of heart?”

“Pfft!” He Bang spat a mouthful of tea leaves right in his face. “Stop trying to lecture me with that nonsense you use to fool people. You talk endlessly about an immortal’s breadth of heart — isn’t it simply because I was born a demon that you look down on me? Hmm? Or perhaps you have feelings for Zhiguan yourself, and want to kill me so you can have him all to yourself?”

Yuyan Zhenren was ready to spit blood again. The elder refilled He Bang’s tea: “He has only you in his heart, yet he has many people in his. You feel that is unfair, don’t you?”

He Bang pouted. The elder smiled like warm sunlight: “Child, look up. There is only one sun in the sky, and that single sun must shine upon countless people. Yet every single person beneath the sun can still feel its warmth.”

He Bang, for once, engaged her mind and thought for a moment, then repeated softly: “Follow someone who knows the way…”

The elder stroked his fine and neatly arranged beard: “That person will lead you carefully along the most correct path.”

He Bang lowered her head and went back to eating: “Old man, your tofu skin really is delicious!”

The elder patted her head again: “The attendant boy under this old one’s tutelage is the most skilled at making this wonderful tofu skin. Come, have another piece…”

When the tofu skin was finished, He Bang woke up. Of the three people gathered around the rock, only two remained. Yuyan Zhenren was still fuming: “Old friend!”

Zixin Daozhang smiled like a clear moon and a gentle breeze: “She knows nothing of propriety, and she truly acts without scruple — but she is a demon of four thousand years. How many hardships has she endured? More decisive than Rong Chen Zi, more resourceful than Shaoqin, more resilient and spirited than little Ye Tian. Old friend — she is a good child, too.”


The following morning, in the dining hall.

He Bang was drinking the fresh shrimp and crab roe congee that Yubone had made when she suddenly remembered something: “Zhiguan, I dreamed of your master last night!”

Rong Chen Zi added a piece of stir-fried sweet potato to her bowl: “What did Master say?”

He Bang chewed on the end of her chopsticks, furrowed her brow in thought for a long while, and then had a sudden flash of insight: “Oh, I remember now!! Your master said that he has an attendant boy who is best at making wonderful tofu skin!!”

At the head of the table, Yuyan Zhenren swayed to one side — and with a great thud, both he and his chair toppled straight over backward.


After Rong Chen Zi had fully recovered, Qingxu Temple returned to its former spirit. Zhuang Shaoqin, overjoyed, rushed back and spent an entire night talking with Rong Chen Zi by candlelight, then wasted no time in kicking the Daoist sect’s great burden squarely back to Rong Chen Zi.

He Wei also came to treat Qingxu Temple as his permanent residence. Since Rong Chen Zi saw him leading the Sounding Serpent Clan, it was inevitable that he would have to teach the young man some skills. He Wei was eager to learn, and followed Qingxuan and the others day after day to practice the Dao and study its arts. He Bang figured that Rong Chen Zi was teaching the others anyway, so she simply kicked Yubone into the mix as well.

Rong Chen Zi’s life at the temple settled into a very fixed routine. Every day, before dawn, he rose, led the disciples in morning devotions, then carried He Bang to eat breakfast after the devotions were done. After breakfast, Qingxu Temple opened its gates to receive worshippers.

Rong Chen Zi would either receive guests, or read, practice calligraphy, spar with his sword, and perform divinations. Meanwhile, the great He Bang would either play with Qingxuan, Qingsu, Ye Tian, and He Wei, or play with the little cats and dogs in the temple, or else amuse herself with the flowers and plants and mountains and streams of the back mountain.

After the midday meal, Rong Chen Zi led the disciples in noon devotions. He Bang generally slept.

Come afternoon, Rong Chen Zi taught the disciples the scriptures, musical instruments, how to identify common medicinal herbs, and the basics of medicine. When He Bang woke up, she would continue playing; when she was having a particularly wonderful time, her silver-bell laughter could be heard throughout half of Qingxu Temple.

By evening, after supper, Rong Chen Zi led the disciples in evening devotions. He Bang had played herself tired by then, and Yubone would help polish her shell. After her shell was polished she would play with Rong Chen Zi, and after playing she would sleep.

Yuyan Zhenren had long held considerable objections to this pig-like existence, but bearing in mind Zixin Daozhang’s entreaties, he simply turned a blind eye and couldn’t be bothered to interfere.

After half a month, once Yuyan Zhenren was satisfied that Rong Chen Zi had truly recovered, he set off and returned to his grotto heaven. Rong Chen Zi still regularly brought his disciples down the mountain, driving out demons and catching evil spirits for the nearby villagers, and the local people still came to Qingxu Temple seeking medicine whenever they had ailments.

That spring festival, a rare heavy snowfall descended upon Lingxia Mountain. After Qingxuan and Qingsu led their fellow disciples in pasting up the couplets, He Bang was beside herself with delight. She built an enormous snowman on the back mountain and had a snowball fight with Qingxuan and the others.

Rong Chen Zi was a serious person who minded his dignified bearing, and naturally took no part. He sat to one side brewing tea. He Bang, Ye Tian, and Yubone — the three girls as a team — pelted every single young Daoist disciple until they were covered head to toe in snow. He Wei had his three-eyed serpents haul a great load of fireworks and firecrackers up the mountain, and seeing them all having a snowball fight all over the mountain, his tail began to itch. He coiled his tail around a large snowball and hurled it with full force. Such is the sudden misfortune that can befall even a serpent — the snowball landed squarely on He Bang’s head with a thud.

He Bang was caught off guard in this ambush and exploded in fury, chasing after him and pelting him relentlessly until he was howling and fleeing with his head in his coils.

Rong Chen Zi made no move to stop their fooling around and simply kept his head down reading his book. Once He Bang had pelted He Wei into kneeling and begging for mercy, she was finally satisfied. She looked up, saw Rong Chen Zi off to the side brewing tea and reading, and without warning came bounding and skipping over: “Zhiguan!”

She had not yet arrived when a snowball flew over first. Rong Chen Zi brushed it away with the sleeve of his robe, his tone carrying a mild reproach: “Stop fooling around.”

He Bang flung herself into his arms like a little swallow returning to its nest, burying her head against him with a vigorous nuzzle, the rabbit fur collar warm and soft against his neck: “Zhiguan, come play with us.”

Rong Chen Zi took a sip of tea and turned the pages of the Daoist scripture in his hand: “Neither elder nor younger, neither proper nor seemly. What sort of conduct is this.”

He Bang grabbed a fistful of snow and without warning stuffed it down the back of his collar, laughing with sly delight. Rong Chen Zi, worried the brazier might burn her, leaned to one side and pinned her down into the snow, refusing to let her make another move: “If you keep misbehaving, don’t think I won’t spank you, hmm?”

He Bang squirmed left and right beneath him, but her strength was far too little — she was like an ant trying to shake a tree. Afraid Rong Chen Zi would stuff snow down her clothes in retaliation, she immediately started wailing fake tears, crying and shouting: “Help! Help!!”

Worried that melted snow would soak into her clothes and leave his hand ice-cold, Rong Chen Zi simply slipped his hand inside her collar to warm it instead. He Bang thrashed her legs in a panic: “Tiantian! Tiantian, help!”

Ye Tian hurried over, then saw the two of them tangled together in the snow — only He Bang’s little pair of feet visible, kicking and scrabbling from beneath Rong Chen Zi. Her face turned red instantly, and she fled with Yubone. Even He Wei, dense as he was, knew to give them a wide berth. Who in the world was actually going to come and save her?


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