Lin Shuang said with her mouth that she didn’t mind, but her thoughts had begun taking a twisted turn.

“So — do you think I’m prettier than Lanting? Better figured? More to your taste?” She sat astride him, gaze burning as she stared at the person before her. “You don’t like the gentle, refined lady type — you like this type, me?”

Zhou Zheng felt a faint headache coming on: “There’s no comparison to be made here.”

“How is there no comparison?” Lin Shuang frowned, fingertip jabbing hard into his chest. “No comparison, no choice.”

Left hanging by her, neither up nor down, his eyes glistened faintly with moisture, pleading for her to just give him a straight answer: “I do have preferences… Shuangshuang, I like you…”

Lin Shuang’s temper flared right up, brows arching high, a mocking laugh escaping her. “Didn’t expect it, Teacher Zhou — you look so honest, yet you’re actually quite picky, quite opinionated, aren’t you.”

These days, where were there any honest men left, really.

Zhou Zheng caught the dangerous edge in her tone and obediently shut his mouth.

Her interest had faded entirely, yet one hand still wandered over his body; listening to his ragged breathing, a question occurred to her: “You two dated for so long — how come you never slept together?”

His body stiffened; he saw the sly look on her face, her eyes glinting with a smile, unsure whether she was joking or serious, but his instincts told him this was a deadly question.

“Answer me.” Lin Shuang gave a half-smile.

“What is there to say…”

Lin Shuang pinched him hard on the body: “What, Lanting can talk about it with me openly and easily, and you can’t? Do you think you’re some kind of especially upright, especially pure and innocent person?”

He propped himself up from the pillow, wrapping an arm around her waist, carefully: “Lanting and I were only trying to get along — that was the first time I’d ever really dated a woman, everything took things slow, I never had that kind of thought.”

Zhou Zheng heard Lin Shuang let out a snort of laughter, light as air. “So you think there’s no need to take it slow with me? I crook a finger and you come running along to sleep with me without a second thought — how dare you have that kind of thought about me?”

The man pressed his lips tightly together.

She let out a scoff, her interest thoroughly gone, got out of bed, threw on a robe, and went to the balcony with a pack of cigarettes to smoke.

Zhou Zheng couldn’t understand it — how had what was originally such a simple relationship turned into something he had to tiptoe around like he had something to feel guilty about.

He silently put on his pajamas and stood beside her on the balcony as she smoked.

Lin Shuang herself found it strange too — how had the mood suddenly shifted like that.

She didn’t actually mind a bland old love story, and it wasn’t as if she’d loved someone to the point of tears for anyone else to witness either, but right now she genuinely felt annoyed — a sense of being led around by the nose. Xie Xiaomeng had been like this, and now Lanting too.

One lectured her on morality, the other talked to her about feelings.

Actually, none of what they said had anything to do with her at all — why not go find Zhou Zheng instead, why come to her.

“What did Lanting say to you?” Zhou Zheng asked her.

Lin Shuang leaned on the windowsill, breathing out smoke.

Zhou Zheng took a deep breath and began explaining himself.

“Back when I was in school, I was busy studying and working part-time jobs, didn’t have much contact with girls back then. After graduation, I came back to teach, and everyone around me kept talking about dating and marriage — right around then I happened to meet Lanting, and we got along well chatting, she’s the understanding, considerate type, we’d talk about all kinds of random topics sometimes. Everyone around us kept pushing us to get together, and I thought back then… maybe I should start dating someone, maybe Lanting would suit me, so… I asked her if she wanted to try being together.”

“We really did date for a while, several months or so. Back then Zhang Fan and I were still living in the teachers’ apartments, and when we had free time we all liked to go out together, but at that time I was teaching and doing my grad studies at the same time, genuinely very busy, and the time I actually spent alone with Lanting was very little. I didn’t really know how to date or spend time with someone properly either — when we had time, we’d talk about work and life, things going on at school, and occasionally I’d accompany her out shopping. Lanting really was very good to me… she knew I was tight on money, so whenever we ate out she’d pick mid-range places, I’d cover the bill, and she’d buy the movie tickets — never willing to spend more of my money than that… but honestly… after a while, it started to weigh on me, I wasn’t really comfortable with things going that way.”

“You’ve got a bit too much vanity for a man with no money, don’t you — wanting a woman to spend her own money on you and all.” Lin Shuang mocked him around her cigarette.

Zhou Zheng didn’t take the bait: “Her family knew about me — they didn’t object outright, just set marrying into the family as a condition. I understood it — I was just a country kid, no parents, dirt poor, and Lanting was so innocent, her family genuinely wanted to protect her, but at that time… I backed off outright. Partly it really was because of the wide gap between our families, and partly, I didn’t want to get dragged into all those complicated troubles.”

“When we broke up, I was honest with Lanting and apologized — that our relationship and feelings were more like friendship, and combined with the family issues interfering, it really wasn’t suitable for us to be together, and she said she understood too. Xiaomeng would occasionally take a jab at me out of nowhere — she’s always been proud and strong-willed, I know she was angry. I was the one who suggested dating in the first place, I wasn’t good enough for Lanting by her family’s standards, and I was the one who initiated the breakup too — the fault was on me. But that was all so long ago now — after we broke up, neither Lanting nor I ever reached out to the other, there’s no lingering unfinished business between us, the relationship back then never got to the point of being especially deep or intense either. The two of us parted openly and peacefully, and I never thought that much of it.”

Lin Shuang shot him a sideways glance: “You stinking man, heartless and ungrateful.”

Zhou Zheng frowned slightly.

Men were more practical and materialistic than women — she wasn’t holding him to some strict moral standard, couldn’t really say Zhou Zheng had done anything wrong there. In matters of the heart, one is willing to give and the other willing to receive — and besides, none of this had anything to do with her either; there was no need to let herself get worked up over Lanting’s words.

Lin Shuang stubbed out her cigarette and turned back to the bedroom to change clothes.

“Where are you going?” Zhou Zheng asked her.

“Home.” She tied her belt, head down, matter-of-fact.

Zhou Zheng’s face went a bit dark, watching her put on clothing piece by piece, and he grabbed the coat she’d tossed onto the sofa.

“What, not letting me leave?” Lin Shuang arched a brow.

Zhou Zheng really wasn’t going to let her leave: “It’s too late. Stay.”

“I don’t want to sleep with you tonight.” A trace of resentment lingered between her brows.

She didn’t want to talk feelings with Zhou Zheng, didn’t want to talk about reality, ideals, material things, and even less did she want new loves and old ones held up for comparison.

The moment other people got involved, everything turned sticky, troublesome, a whole mess.

Living in the moment for pleasure didn’t come with all this hassle.

“You sleep in the bed, I’ll sleep on the sofa.” Zhou Zheng hung her coat back in the closet.

That night Zhou Zheng took a pillow and slept on the sofa. Lin Shuang woke up in the middle of the night to see him sitting on the rug, hugging his laptop, absorbed in something.

His expression was very focused, and he hadn’t noticed her waking up; the screen’s glow lit up his features with a rarely seen sharp edge, the line of his jaw cut deep. She blinked, and realized she’d already grown used to that face, could even recall every single expression of his.

She rolled over, back turned to him.

Zhou Zheng, hearing the sound, looked up, came over and tucked the blanket in around her, stroked her hair, and bent down to press a gentle kiss to her.

Zhou Zheng called Lanting, and after finishing class went to her elementary school, arranging to meet her.

Back in the day, he’d been busier than her, and it was usually she who went to find him at Beiquan High School; there’d been a time or two when he’d waited for her outside her elementary school gates instead.

“What brings you here?” Lanting smiled. “Something you need?”

“There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” He rubbed his nose. “Shuangshuang told me she ran into you at dance class.”

“Yes, quite the coincidence.” She smiled. “Our two classes are scheduled at the same time — I often hear her taking calls from you in the lounge after class.”

“It’s not her calling me.” Zhou Zheng pressed his lips together. “It was me, right after my evening study supervision ended, calling to remind her to grab a taxi home early, and that after exercising she should get some proper nutrition in her — there’s white fungus soup stewed at home waiting, tell her not to forget to drink it when she gets home.”

Lanting’s smile froze on her face.

“Lanting, these past couple of years, have you not met anyone you liked?”

“No…”

“Sometimes fate is unpredictable, but you’ll definitely meet someone.” Zhou Zheng smiled. “I’ll give you my good luck.”

“Is that so…” Lanting lowered her eyes. “You and Miss Lin are so loving with each other — you must really like her.”

“Mm.” He nodded. “I really like her. Actually, I was the one who pursued her too… I stayed by her side for a long while, she turned me down many times, and only in the end did she nod yes.”

“Congratulations.” Lanting forced out the words stiffly.

“I hope you find someone you love soon too.”

Her heart ached with a bitter sourness; she gathered her courage: “Zhou Zheng, if my family hadn’t objected, hadn’t brought up all those messy demands — would you have broken up with me?”

“Maybe not — we got along well, both of us are fairly quiet, calm people… but maybe I still would have, since the relationship never got to that point, and there was still quite a gap between us.”

Zhou Zheng paused: “Actually, if I’d known it would end that way, I should have thought it through more carefully from the start — I shouldn’t have gotten together with you in the first place. I was a bit reckless back then. I’m sorry.”

“Then what about you and Miss Lin? Isn’t the gap between you two just as big?” Lanting couldn’t understand, and turned the question back on him. “She’s a completely different kind of person from you — maybe she’s just, just playing around, maybe she doesn’t take it seriously at all — can you two really have a future? In the end, you’ll have nothing left…”

“Whether there’s a future or not… that’s not up to me. It’s all up to what Shuangshuang decides.” He gave a wry smile. “As long as she’s happy, whatever the outcome, I’ll accept it, and beyond that, I’ve never given it much thought.”

“Zhou Zheng, I always thought you were a very rational person.”

“Is that so?” He smiled. “You think I’m rational?”

“Before… you did everything with such method, such planning — clear intentions, a clear goal, everything arranged ahead of time.”

“That was probably the old me. These days I don’t really plan anything — I just follow along wherever Shuangshuang leads, living in the moment, that’s enough.”

“Is Miss Lin… really that good?”

“She’s beautiful, incredibly alluring, and also very straightforward and lovable.” A besotted light shone in his eyes. “She brings me so much happiness — I’m captivated by her every smile and frown, and no matter how much I do, I only hope for one more glance from her — even if she glares at me coldly, I’d take it gladly. I’d give up everything, just to stay by her side.”

“I want her set high above me, and I’ll gladly look up at her light forever.”

Lanting stared blankly at Zhou Zheng, feeling that the man in front of her was a total stranger.

The Zhou Zheng she remembered wasn’t like this — he was a teacher and mentor to his students, a refined gentleman, measured and composed, cool-headed and clear-eyed, responsible and attentive to his family, dismissive of her parents’ overbearing demands, keeping himself principled and untouched by scandal for years.

She had loved that quality in him — restrained and understated, gentle on the outside, resilient within.

Not this — humble yet naive, shrinking yet swelling all at once, a man overreaching himself with no sense of proportion, standing before her now.

She didn’t even understand where this fervor of his had come from — as if he were lost in some hollow daydream.

Women all love strength — they love a man of composed bearing, neither servile nor arrogant, never groveling, never fawning.

Something like a fishbone stuck in Lanting’s throat; the filter in her mind had shattered to pieces.

From then on, Lin Shuang never ran into Lanting at the dance studio again.

She mulled it over herself for a couple of days, and that trace of anger vanished without a trace as well.