The weeping gradually became soft sobbing.

Fang Jie’er raised her head, flushed with embarrassment. “Aunt…”

“Are you feeling better?” Shiyiniang looked at her, her eyes full of warmth and gentle laughter.

Fang Jie’er nodded, the tension across her brow relaxing considerably. She dried the corners of her eyes with her handkerchief. “Every time Mother comes, she wears a smile she has forced upon her face… and I feel the same bitterness inside…”

But her station and rank left her no freedom to pour her feelings out at will.

Shiyiniang nodded in understanding.

Fang Jie’er found herself uncertain what to say now.

The birth of a daughter, the Emperor’s disappointment, the Empress’s compassion, the Crown Prince’s consolation… even her father’s word that the Zhou family intended to send the daughter of an old friend into the palace to strengthen their position, and her mother’s veiled hint that she ought to arrange for a trusted and beautiful handmaid to attend the Crown Prince at night — all of it had been within her expectations, and all of it was the most fitting course of action for the moment. It was only that one breath lodged inside her that she could not expel yet had nowhere to release.

She had turned it over and over, and thought of Shiyiniang. That woman who would take a plain cotton jacket and embroider bat buttons from five-colored silk thread just so…

She had truly not disappointed her.

No hollow pleasantries. No polite deflection. She had said simply, “Then cry it all out properly — only remember, cry it out well this once, and never cry again after this.”

Just as a mother’s sternness comes always after her indulgence — no matter whether what one has done is right or wrong, no matter whether the moment is convenient or not.

In that instant, all restraint dissolved. She had followed the impulse of her own heart and cried herself empty.

Having cried, that breath was released. And once the breath was gone, it was time to face the reality before her.

Some things no longer needed to be said aloud.

Shiyiniang saw all of this.

Fang Jie’er had grown up in a princess’s residence and was a girl of quick wit and discernment. Seeing her expression hovering on the edge of words unspoken, Shiyiniang knew she had recovered her calm and composure, and put what had just passed out of her mind. She began chatting lightly with Fang Jie’er as if over ordinary things: “And the little commandery princess? Is she with her wet nurse? What a pity I was not well and could not attend the princess’s third-day bathing ceremony. I wonder who the little commandery princess takes after more?”

No curiosity, no astonishment, no weighted silence — only the ease of a spring breeze offering Fang Jie’er a graceful way forward.

Fang Jie’er was a little surprised, yet felt that Shiyiniang’s response was entirely natural and reasonable.

A woman of such refined intelligence and grace was never meant to be ordinary.

She broke into a sweet smile: “The little commandery princess looks like me — she is with her wet nurse, and every afternoon she is brought to me to see for a little while.” So saying, she called a palace woman in: “Go and see whether the little commandery princess is awake. Have the wet nurse bring her here for the Marchioness of Yongping to see.”

The palace woman went off at once.

Shiyiniang quickly said: “Please don’t wake the commandery princess from her sleep on my account!”

“She sleeps every day,” Fang Jie’er smiled all the way to her heart. “Whether she is woken or not hardly matters.” Then she began telling Shiyiniang about how small the little commandery princess’s hands were, how black her hair was, and how bright her eyes were when she looked at people — growing happier with every word. She had the little commandery princess brought out for Shiyiniang to see, and the two talked on until the hour of the rooster before Fang Jie’er finally let Shiyiniang depart the palace.

Xu Lingyi had been waiting long before the Chengguang Gate. Seeing her emerge, he hurried forward. “Are you all right?”

Shiyiniang’s complexion had gone somewhat pallid. She stepped quickly out through the Gate of Divine Prowess and was sick at once.

Someone who recognized Xu Lingyi quickly brought hot tea. Shiyiniang drank two mouthfuls and felt somewhat better, then signaled urgently to Hupo that they should return home quickly.

Xu Lingyi gave one of the guards a name card and also took a palanquin back to Lotus Lane.

The moment they were home, Shiyiniang lay down and, without eating a thing, fell asleep.

Seeing how exhausted she was, Xu Lingyi did not disturb her, but only told Hupo and the others to prepare supper. As it turned out, Shiyiniang slept straight through until daybreak. She woke feeling hungry, ate some plain congee, then was sick all over again in a wretched state.

“How can this be just as it was before?” Xu Lingyi was very worried.

“It’s all right,” Shiyiniang reassured him. “I am probably just overtired. Rest for two more days and it will pass.”

As it turned out, two days’ rest brought no improvement. The Grand Dowager was alarmed and could only reproach Xu Lingyi: “The Crown Princess is young and doesn’t know any better — but you went along with this foolishness. How could you let her go to the palace?”

Xu Lingyi could only stand to one side with a sheepish smile.

Not wishing to leave Xu Lingyi in a difficult position, Shiyiniang quickly persuaded the Grand Dowager: “My symptoms have not been favorable and the Marquis did not anticipate they would recur like this.”

The Grand Dowager, seeing how she sheltered Xu Lingyi, felt both pleased and concerned, and fearing there might be further trouble, discussed sending Nanny Tian and Nanny Wan to attend to her.

Shiyiniang readily agreed, and had Hupo bring from the storeroom four bolts of gold-scattered brocade, four bolts of fine imported velvet, four bolts of plain white Songjiang silk, a pair of solid-gold buddha-hand hairpins, a pair of pure solid-gold bracelets with a single drop finish, and four solid-gold rings — and distributed them as gifts to Nannies Tian and Wan.

The two nannies thanked her again and again, and from that day on came to serve in Shiyiniang’s rooms, diligently tending to her health and recovery.

Shiyiniang’s condition, however, showed no improvement. By the fifteenth day of the third month, she had taken to her bed entirely.

Nannies Tian and Wan both sensed something was off and questioned Shiyiniang carefully about exactly what was making her feel unwell.

Shiyiniang gave a bitter smile. “I simply sense a strange smell, and whenever I smell it my stomach turns.”

The two nannies and Hupo and the others went through everything in the room inside and out but could find no cause, and were just puzzling over it when Shiyiniang began to be sick again.

Nanny Tian had a sudden thought. She stood close beside Shiyiniang and caught a faint trace of a fragrance, hovering barely at the edge of perception.

Something stirred in her heart.

Asking pardon, she went through all of Shiyiniang’s belongings one by one, yet could not catch again the fragrance she had sensed a moment before.

Nanny Tian’s mind was busy with unease, when she caught again that elusive trace of fragrance.

Before two full breaths had passed, Shiyiniang had bent over the edge of the kang and was retching.

Nanny Tian dared not speak of it and went to the Grand Dowager’s quarters.

The Grand Dowager’s expression grew very difficult. She quietly instructed Nanny Tian: “Stay close to Shiyiniang’s side and find out exactly where this fragrance is coming from.”

Nanny Tian went back to carry out the order.

A maidservant arrived from the ancestral hall to request the Grand Dowager’s instructions: “Ciyuan Temple has sent a monk here — he says he will come at the hour of the tiger tomorrow morning!”

The Grand Dowager thought for a moment, then said to Yuban: “Go and tell that maidservant to have the monk from Ciyuan Temple come to see me.”

Yuban relayed the message to the maidservant standing in the courtyard.

The maidservant immediately led the monk from Ciyuan Temple to come.

“Send word to Jining for me — the memorial ceremony for my late fourth daughter-in-law shall be held at Ciyuan Temple. Fourteen days — two sets of seven. Paper gold and silver ingots and spirit money — one thousand each. Three animal sacrificial offerings. Five tables of formal feast offerings.”

The reception monk was overjoyed at this unexpected good fortune and assented repeatedly.

The Grand Dowager then went to Shiyiniang’s quarters.

Several junior maidservants were searching about in the grass before and behind the house for something.

“What is everyone doing?” The Grand Dowager entered the room, gestured to Shiyiniang not to rise from where she lay on the kang, and settled herself on an embroidered stool in front of the kang, asking Nanny Tian.

“My lady says it seems to be the fragrance of some flower,” Nanny Tian said with a smile. “In past years she had smelled it from time to time, but this year she simply cannot abide the scent. So I had the junior maidservants search around the front and back of the house.”

The Grand Dowager nodded and told Nanny Du to hand over the silver-skin swallows’ nests she had brought for Nanny Tian: “This cannot go on. Have them stewed and give them to her.”

Nanny Tian quickly took them and went off to the kitchen.

Shiyiniang felt deeply apologetic.

The Grand Dowager reassured her instead: “You did not wish to be like this either.” She also told Nanny Song to tend carefully to Shiyiniang, then returned to her own quarters.

Xu Sizhun had received Master Zhao’s guidance and had been practicing repeatedly at home how to preside over a death anniversary ceremony. He came after school to demonstrate for Shiyiniang.

Shiyiniang nodded with satisfaction and pride: “Our Zhun Ge has grown up.”

Xu Sizhun took Shiyiniang’s pale, paper-white hand in his and looked at her with eyes full of worry. “Mother, you must get well soon.”

Shiyiniang thought of the time when Yuan Niang had been gravely ill, and Xu Sizhun had stood beside her bed clasping Yuan Niang’s hand in just this way. She felt her eyes grow wet. She smiled and clasped Xu Sizhun’s hand in return: “With Zhun Ge helping Mother, Mother need not worry about a thing, and will naturally recover very soon.”

Xu Sizhun nodded vigorously, looking every bit the little adult.

When the day came, he rose early and changed into plain clothes to pay his morning respects to Shiyiniang.

Nanny Du looked up in surprise: “Is Fourth Young Master going to a temple today?”

“No,” said Xu Sizhun. “Mother said she was unwell and asked me to preside over the death anniversary ceremonies on her behalf.”

Nanny Du immediately gave a quiet inward cry of alarm.

How had she forgotten about this!

She had someone attend to Xu Sizhun’s breakfast, then went to report to the Grand Dowager.

The Grand Dowager heard and also gave a rueful smile: “When you get old, you can keep track of one thing but not another.” She then said: “Bring him in to see me, and I will speak with him myself. Fourth Master and Shiyiniang’s side probably don’t know yet either — go and tell them as well.”

Nanny Du went to Shiyiniang’s rooms with the message.

Xu Lingyi heard and his expression grew slightly stern. Shiyiniang thought for a moment, then consulted him: “Why not have the Marquis accompany Zhun Ge to the temple?”

It was the only way.

Xu Lingyi told Chief Steward Bai to prepare a carriage.

Nanny Du went back to report to the Grand Dowager.

Nanny Tao, waiting outside the ancestral hall, had waited and waited without sight of Xu Sizhun, and waited still longer without any sign of the monks who were to conduct the water-and-land memorial service. She sent one of the junior maidservants at her side to look for Xu Sizhun.

“Nanny Tao.” The junior maidservant came panting back. “The water-and-land memorial service for the late Fourth Mistress has been moved to Ciyuan Temple. The Marquis has taken Fourth Young Master to Ciyuan Temple.”

“How can this be?” Nanny Tao was stupefied. “Was it not all agreed and settled just two days ago? How has it suddenly been moved to Ciyuan Temple?”

The junior maidservant lowered her voice: “I’ve heard that the Fourth Mistress has been unsettled, so the Grand Dowager changed the water-and-land ceremony to Ciyuan Temple at the last moment.”

Nanny Tao, hearing this, was so angry her ribs ached.

“She has been unsettled — she has been unsettled, and all the more reason to properly honor the First Young Mistress and ask her to bless and protect her in peace. As it is, this one has gone and made the dead Elder Sister step aside to make way for her… And all just because she is carrying a child? Who even knows whether it will be a boy or a girl? And now putting on airs, when to begin with she was nothing but a maidservant’s daughter, desperately ingratiating herself before the First Mistress, clinging and flattering her way through…”

The junior maidservant listened until cold sweat ran down her back, and quickly pulled Nanny Tao by the arm. “Nanny, let us go back first. Didn’t you say you’d asked someone to write a green memorial prayer for the late First Mistress to be burned for her? We mustn’t miss the hour.” With much coaxing and persuading, she finally got Nanny Tao to leave.

Nanny Tao told the junior maidservant to go wait at the main gate: “The moment Fourth Young Master returns, you come and tell me at once. This cannot be allowed to rest just like that.”

The junior maidservant had no choice but to go and wait at the entrance gate.

As she passed by Shiyiniang’s courtyard, she heard junior maidservants inside crying out in delight: “Found it, found it!”

Nanny Tian heard instantly and came running: “Quickly let me see — what is it?”

The junior maidservant held out a handful of a plant that looked rather like grass. “Nanny, smell this!”

Nanny Tian’s face immediately lit with recognition. “That is the very smell!”