Shiyiniang’s heart lurched. Hupo had already said anxiously: “Is that good or bad?”

“Nothing to worry about, nothing at all!” the midwife smiled. “The birth is near!”

Yet Shiyiniang felt that the midwife’s voice carried a note of forced brightness. She was about to ask more carefully when she saw the other midwife come striding over: “The waters have broken?”

Her demeanor was perfectly ordinary, as though asking whether someone had eaten yet.

Nanny Wan also gathered around.

But the first midwife gave them both a meaningful glance and said with a smile: “The birth is near, the birth is near! Shall we call in the two from the palace, and have more hot water boiled?”

Nanny Wan quickly said: “Of course.” She instructed the junior maids to boil water and then turned to summon the two palace-sent midwives.

The Elder Madam’s two midwives then stood in the doorway and exchanged a few words with the palace-sent midwives before the palace-sent midwives stepped forward to examine Shiyiniang.

Her expression became somewhat grave. She walked over and said a few quiet words to the other three midwives and Nanny Wan.

Shiyiniang’s heart was already quite certain that something was not right. She could not quite hear what the several of them were saying, and told Hupo: “Ask Nanny Wan to come speak with me.”

Hupo also sensed something was off and immediately rose to go call Nanny Wan.

“What is going on exactly?” Shiyiniang wanted to speak in a calm, rational voice, but the voice that came out trembled with an undisguisable quaver.

Nanny Wan smiled: “Nothing is wrong, nothing at all…”

If there were truly nothing wrong, Nanny Wan would surely have rushed out in delight to tell the Elder Madam that the birth was near — she would not be standing here now, all of them anxious and whispering together.

Shiyiniang’s heart went cold: “Nanny Wan, I want to hear the truth. If you don’t tell me, I will find out soon enough anyway. If you do tell me, at least I will know what to prepare for in a moment.”

When life and death hang by a thread, only you yourself can save yourself.

Nanny Wan thought it over and had to admit Shiyiniang had a point.

She said quietly: “Madam, there truly is nothing serious. It is only that the waters broke a little early. It may mean you will have to endure more suffering during the birth.”

More suffering — what did that mean in childbirth? What kind of suffering was that?

In a flash of lightning clarity, Shiyiniang said gravely: “Is it a difficult birth?”

Nanny Wan’s expression shifted slightly: “That is not certain either. If the birth comes quickly, whether the waters break early or late matters little.”

But what if it did not come quickly?

Shiyiniang closed her eyes, and the sensation beneath her grew wetter.

While they had been speaking, all the midwives had been listening with pricked ears; seeing that she did not cry or make a fuss but remained composedly calm, they all exchanged glances with one another, and one of the midwives even parted her lips slightly, as though she wanted to say something.

Time passed little by little. Shiyiniang was in so much pain she had gone numb; she could not even feel the sensation below.

The faces of the several midwives grew darker and darker.

Hupo stood by the bed, her face ashen, barely able to stay on her feet.

In Shiyiniang’s limited understanding, the child could survive within the mother’s body because of the amniotic fluid. If the amniotic fluid was gone…

She asked the midwives: “There are still no signs of imminent delivery?”

The midwives looked at each other, and one of them forced a smile and said: “Madam, be patient — it won’t be long now!”

Without warning, Shiyiniang’s tears poured down like rain.

Was she going to die?

Just as the last time — surgery after surgery, round after round of chemotherapy, letting her experience death with a clear mind.

Were those past sufferings now to come again?

She would transmigrate into another person’s body, and in a strange and unfamiliar world relive the joys and sorrows, honors and humiliations of human existence anew?

For a moment she seemed to have gone back to her childhood.

A grand hall fragrant with perfume and the rustle of silks, the amber glow of champagne, the swish of taffeta ball gowns, men whispering in private, women laughing behind raised fans… she wore a snow-white chiffon princess dress, her small figure moving from one end of the hall to the other and back again, and back again, without a single person sparing her a second glance.

Like a passerby.

Yes, she had been a passerby.

No lover, no family, no children… in her past life she had left no trace upon this world, like water flowing over a smooth stone.

Deep in thought, her hand brushed against the high, rounded swell of her belly.

No — no — no. In this life, she still had a child.

She could die, but she could not let this child who had slowly grown within her body perish with her.

“Where is the Marquis?” Shiyiniang heard herself ask Nanny Wan in a choked voice. “I want to see the Marquis!”

Of all the people she knew, only this man could protect this child from being harmed!

The faces in the room all showed reluctance.

The birthing chamber was an impure place; if a man entered, he would bring upon himself ill fortune.

“Madam,” Nanny Wan steeled herself and smiled. “The Marquis is right there in the study — whatever you need to say, I can go and convey it for you!”

“I want to see him!” Shiyiniang, who was always gentle, was adamant now. “Go tell him — I want to see him!”

Nanny Wan stood there, at a loss, and looked to Hupo for help.

Hupo looked at Shiyiniang’s tear-streaked face, bit down, and said: “Madam, I’ll go call the Marquis!”

Nanny Wan was frantic.

This young married woman — she did not understand anything. The Marquis was the backbone of this household. If something were to happen to him, the good days in this mansion would be finished.

How could she let Madam make such a scene?

“Steward Qing’s wife!” She called out, and was just about to add a word of warning when Hupo had already run out of the birthing chamber at a jog.

Nanny Wan stamped her foot and gave chase.

Could childbirth really take this long?

Xu Lingyi stared at the pale yellowed paper on the writing desk and could not help thinking to himself.

It had already been a day and a half — how much longer would there be to wait?

He thought for a moment, set down the ink-dipped brush in his hand, and told the junior maid: “Go and see how Madam is getting along.”

The junior maid had barely managed to assent when the door curtain was swept aside with a swish and Hupo rushed in, breathless: “My lord Marquis, please go quickly! Madam — Madam…” her tears already falling unstoppably.

Xu Lingyi’s heart froze.

Then he saw Nanny Du follow in.

“My lord Marquis, do not alarm yourself,” she said, giving Hupo a meaningful look of reproach, then said: “These young ones don’t know any better. I’ll go take a look right away!”

Hupo could see clearly, and understood well enough: if Xu Lingyi entered the birthing chamber, and Shiyiniang in the end suffered some misfortune, she was now a daughter-in-law married into the Xu household — no longer Shiyiniang’s personal serving maid — and the Xu family could deal with her however they wished. But one thought of Shiyiniang’s face, streaming with tears, and she could not bring herself to care about any of that, and the words burst out before she could stop herself: “No, my lord Marquis — it is Madam who wants to see you…”

Her words were not yet finished when Xu Lingyi had already strode out of the study in great strides.

Nanny Du looked at Hupo and let out a sigh.

Hupo’s heart leaped with joy; one hand drying the corner of her eye, she ran at a trot to follow.

Shiyiniang could feel the bedding beneath her growing wetter and wetter, and her heart grew colder by degrees.

Was the situation already very dire?

She did not fear facing misfortune — she feared facing misfortune while knowing nothing of it, able only to accept it passively.

Why had Xu Lingyi still not come?

Had Hupo been unable to get the word to him? Or was Xu Lingyi hesitating over whether to come see her…

These thoughts were still circling in her mind when she heard the door curtain rustle, and Xu Lingyi walked in with an expression carved from stone.

“Xu Lingyi!” Shiyiniang murmured, staring up at him.

Xu Lingyi had seen her in bright, smiling beauty; had seen her proud and silently enduring; had seen her in indignant disappointment — but he had never seen her as she was now, her eyes brimming with tears, gazing at him helplessly with longing and desperate hope.

His heart seized. His gaze swept over the midwives with a sharp edge: “What is happening here?” Gone was the authority of his usual manner — in its place was something barely audible beneath the surface: a tremor of panic.

He was briefly startled.

He had seen worse dangers than this — what was there to panic over?

Before Xu Lingyi could sort out his own thoughts, he saw that all the midwives had bowed their heads; even Medical Matron Peng had quietly hunched her shoulders and edged back several steps.

His fingertips went cold. In his ear came Shiyiniang’s frail voice: “My lord Marquis — I think I may be having a difficult birth!”

Though he had already braced himself for the worst, hearing those words come from Shiyiniang’s own lips still sent a thunderclap through his mind; it took a moment before he came back to himself.

“A difficult birth?” His bearing became even more upright, and the gaze he turned upon the midwives took on a keen, cutting edge. “What do you mean, ‘may be having a difficult birth’?”

The air seemed to drop several degrees, as if a glacial current had surged through the room — as though that gaze, just a little sharper, would grind them all to pieces.

The serving women huddled together, trembling and terrified, not daring to let out a breath.

Xu Lingyi’s temple veins rose visibly, and a flash of fury crossed the depths of his eyes.

Medical Matron Peng, who had been watching Xu Lingyi’s every expression with fearful care, saw his lips part slightly as though about to speak, and without time to think more, fell to her knees with a thud. “My — my lord Marquis — the amniotic fluid broke a little early, and the child — the child still has not stirred.” She stammered out the words, her eyes flicking sideways to observe Xu Lingyi’s reaction as she spoke.

Xu Lingyi’s brow and eyes did not so much as twitch: “And if the child can be born?” — delivered with complete composure.

At least he wasn’t erupting in rage!

Medical Matron Peng quietly exhaled with relief and quickly said: “If the child can be born, mother and child will naturally both be safe…”

“Then find a way to get Madam to give birth.” Before she could finish her sentence, Xu Lingyi said quietly, “Are you not a medical matron and midwives? If even this is beyond you, then what use is there in being a medical matron or midwives?”

His voice was flat — almost wooden — yet in the ears of the midwives it was as chilling as if they had fallen into a frozen cellar, cold to the very core.

Medical Matron Peng steeled herself and then pulled one of the midwives to her: “My lord Marquis, this servant is a medical matron — she knows how to treat infants’ acute ailments, but not how to deliver babies.”

The midwife, hearing this, felt every bone in her body turn to water and collapse: “My lord Marquis… my lord Marquis…”

Xu Lingyi, without another word, walked over to that midwife and kicked her.

The midwife clutched her chest and, without so much as a whimper, crumpled to the floor, white-faced.