Shiyiniang quickly turned and took several clean cloths from the storage cabinet nearby. As she wiped down the table and gathered up the tea bowl, she said to Xu Lingyi, who was brushing the water droplets from his person: “My Lord, go sleep in the room — the bedding here is soaked through!”

“Never mind,” Xu Lingyi said haltingly. “Better to have the maids bring in new bedding.” Then he added: “Go back and rest — I will call the young maids in to clean this up.”

In the middle of the night, the servants on night duty slept out in the main hall. Going to call them now would certainly disturb Jin Ge’er, and then, seeing his parents sleeping separately, who knew what the boy would make of it. Though Shiyiniang’s pregnancy had been smooth, she was still with child after all — barely past three months — and having her climb up to get the bedding herself was out of the question if anything were to happen.

“My Lord, please just listen to me this once,” Shiyiniang could not help saying with gentle reproach. “It is late — if we go on fussing, the sky will be light before we know it!”

Because of the pregnancy, Shiyiniang’s face looked somewhat sallow, her expression a little worn.

Xu Lingyi hesitated a moment, then stood up. “Very well. If the smell on me makes you uncomfortable, just say so.”

“I know, I know!” Shiyiniang picked up a handful of tea leaves, wrapped them in a Hangzhou silk handkerchief, and placed them by the pillow.

Xu Lingyi felt easier, drank several cups of tea in succession, and got into bed to rest.

A man who has drunk heavily is always thirsty.

Shiyiniang let a pot of tea cool, then brought the pot and cups to the small side table by the bed.

It was midsummer night, still very warm. With all this moving back and forth, she had worked up a light film of sweat.

She sat at the foot of the bed, fanning herself.

The room was utterly still, and with the quiet came a vague, hollow chill.

Xu Lingyi’s brow furrowed inwardly.

Shiyiniang was angry with him for not having arranged things properly for Jin Ge’er, and he had chosen not to explain — because while nothing was settled, a thousand words counted for less than a single deed. He had always known she understood this about him, yet now that Jin Ge’er was home safe, she was still this distant and cold… Shiyiniang was not a small-minded person. Perhaps there was some misunderstanding behind it all?

Xu Lingyi was a man of action: what he thought, he did. He broke the silence quietly: “Is Jin Ge’er asleep?” Taking the first step to bridge the gap.

No matter how unsettled she felt inside, when Xu Lingyi took the initiative to speak to her, Shiyiniang was not the sort to play petty games in return.

She gave a soft “mm” and leaned against the bed post, fanning herself: “I had planned to wait for you to return, but seeing him fighting to keep his eyes open, I persuaded him to sleep first.”

That she was willing to talk with him was a good beginning.

“Dinner broke up at the hour of Youzheng,” Xu Lingyi said, his tone relaxing, gentle. “I thought Lord Gong would be returning in just three to five days’ time, so I went to call on Minister Lu. Then, thinking Prince Yong’s temper is impetuous and he might rush headlong to petition the Emperor and end up making matters worse, I stopped at Prince Yong’s residence after leaving Minister Lu’s household, which is why it grew so late.”

The silver mining venture meant little more than an unexpected windfall to Gong Dongning — what mattered more was establishing a connection with Prince Yong. For Jin Ge’er, it was nothing more than a stepping stone on his journey — useful for testing whether he was made of gold, and for giving him a foothold, but the gains and losses in silver were not truly what mattered. It was only Prince Yong for whom the mine offered a way out of desperate straits — how could he not be anxious?

Concern leads to confusion.

And for a prince to cultivate ties with court officials was an absolute taboo.

No wonder Xu Lingyi feared that Prince Yong, over the matter of the Guizhou Regional Commander, would go directly to the Emperor.

Shiyiniang was turning this over in her mind, when her gaze drifted toward Xu Lingyi — “My Lord,” she said. A thought had arrested her in the middle of a sentence, and she moved to sit closer to him, her fingers nimbly parting the hair at his temple.

In the lamplight, strands of silver thread gleamed amid the black hair — stark and startling.

She ran her fingers slowly along through his hair.

Many of the strands nearest the roots were silver-white.

“How has this happened?” The words left her involuntarily.

Before she fell unconscious, she had still been washing his hair for him…

This was not normal.

No one in the Xu family had ever gone grey early. Even Third Master, past fifty years of age, still had hair as black and lustrous as ever.

The thought flashed through her mind, and Shiyiniang went still.

Could it be that…

Xu Lingyi had already smiled and caught hold of her hand, dispensing with the matter in a few short words — “I am getting on in years, it is only natural to have a few grey hairs, nothing to be puzzled over” — and turned the conversation to his visit with Elder Chen and Minister Lu. “…It was quite fruitful. Elder Chen and Minister Lu not only agreed that the Guizhou Regional Commander should be someone promoted from within the Guizhou Regional Command, but felt the same should apply to the Sichuan Regional Commander. The reasoning is, firstly, that with the northwest to be guarded by Lord Gong henceforth, having both the Sichuan and Guizhou commanders be veterans from his old force would mean he could direct them as easily as moving his own arms — beneficial to any future operations in the northwest. Secondly, the Guizhou Regional Command earned such tremendous merit in this campaign that it is only right and fitting to reward them handsomely. However, I believe the Emperor will almost certainly not agree. Having both the Sichuan and Guizhou commanders come from Gong Dongning’s former command and be his trusted lieutenants — would that not make the northwest entirely Gong Dongning’s domain?

“Since Lord Gong sent Jin Ge’er back to Yanjing, he must have other arrangements in place. It would be best to send him word tomorrow.

“Elder Chen and Minister Lu are both men skilled at reading the Emperor’s intentions. They could not possibly be unaware of where His Majesty’s thoughts lie.

“As it stands, Sichuan, in terms of geography, population, and economy, is vastly superior to Guizhou. And yet these two gentlemen are now discussing the Sichuan and Guizhou Regional Commander positions as if they were of equal weight. If I am not mistaken, Elder Chen and Minister Lu both have their eyes on the Guizhou Regional Commander position. Since Lord Gong has just won such brilliant victories, they dare not challenge him openly, and are hinting in this manner — signaling to Lord Gong that he should support their candidates for Guizhou Regional Commander.”

He gave a wry smile at this.

“What they have not anticipated is that we have our eye on Guizhou Regional Commander as well. As things stand, this actually works in our favor — we might as well throw the Sichuan Regional Commander position out as a concession, both as a gesture of good faith to cultivate both gentlemen’s goodwill, and to secure their support in return. As for whether the Sichuan position ends up going to Elder Chen’s man or Minister Lu’s man, that is no concern of ours. Whoever ends up with that post will surely feel obligated to Lord Gong — and how is that any different from one of Lord Gong’s own subordinates holding it? And it is far less conspicuous — no one will be watching for it.”

This matter concerned Jin Ge’er’s future, yet Shiyiniang could not bring herself to attend to it closely. Her eyes were on Xu Lingyi, and she felt an ache beginning behind them.

His smile was calm, his voice even and unhurried — like so many plain and ordinary days of rice and salt and daily life, when he bore the weight of the years’ hardships in silence, never letting her see, showing her only the composed and settled face that put her at ease. Just as when the late Emperor had been alive: he had always prepared for the worst, yet never betrayed a trace of it to her.

It made her heart ache even more.

They had come through all of that without a single grey hair — and now this.

Thinking of all the suspicions she had harbored toward Xu Lingyi these past days, Shiyiniang’s tears fell along with her words: “You were already going grey, and I did not even know.” Her voice turned thick with emotion.

“An inch of time is worth an inch of gold, yet gold cannot buy back an inch of time,” Xu Lingyi said lightly, sitting up with a smile. “Can you stop time itself?” He drew a handkerchief from under the pillow and reached over to wipe her tears. “What is there to cry about?”

The more he brushed it off with such calm indifference, the worse she felt. She pulled the handkerchief from his hand and wiped at her tears herself.

Xu Lingyi smiled and gathered her into his arms, teasing gently: “There is a saying that one’s face reflects one’s heart. Looking at you now, I think this child must be a girl — otherwise, why would you be weeping and sniffling like a little maiden?”

Shiyiniang knew he was trying to coax her into laughter, but she could not summon a smile.

Xu Lingyi could only say: “Come now, stop crying. You do not want Jin Ge’er to hear — his ears are sharp now. Do not underestimate him.”

At that, Shiyiniang sobbed and sniffled to a stop.

Xu Lingyi picked up the feather fan she had discarded and began to fan her.

Her heart could not settle.

Darkness helps with sleep.

Xu Lingyi thought for a moment, then simply blew out the lamp.

“Sleep now,” he said, affecting a yawn. “First thing tomorrow I need to go to the palace — the Ministry of Rites has submitted the protocol for the presentation of captives, and His Majesty has asked me to review it as well…”

Shiyiniang could not sleep.

She lay still for a while, then called softly: “My Lord.”

The person beside her made a vague, half-conscious sound.

“When Jin Ge’er went missing, you must have felt guilty, and blamed yourself — after all, it was your decision to send him to Guizhou, and Lord Gong was your recommendation for the campaign in the west… And then there was me, carrying the baby, causing trouble for you the way I did… You were pulled in two directions, both equally urgent. Was it then — was that when your hair turned white?”

Xu Lingyi said nothing, but Shiyiniang felt his breathing catch for a moment.

In that instant, she had her answer.

“I understand the greater purpose!” Shiyiniang’s voice was as soft as the first breath of dawn — gentle and clear in the quiet night. “But there are things I simply cannot stay calm about. I know very well that doing what I did was not only useless but would make things worse — and yet I still had to do it. Otherwise my heart felt unbearable, and when I looked back on it later, I knew I would have regretted it…” As she spoke, she turned and wrapped her arms around his arm, resting her head on his shoulder. “I am sorry.” Her tone steadied, and she added: “Though if it happened again, I would probably do the same.”

And was he any different?

He had thought of everything he could think of and made every arrangement he could make — one could say he had done all that a man could do, and left the rest to heaven. Yet there had not been a single moment of true peace in his heart. Especially when Shiyiniang, in her pregnant state, had tried to go and find Jin Ge’er herself… For the first time in his life he had felt a fear he could not name.

He had used a stratagem to ensure Shiyiniang slept, then ought to have handed her into the care of his daughter-in-law and the head matrons, and turned his full attention to the situation in the northwest, ready at any moment to bring his own resources to bear in Jin Ge’er’s aid… but every time he had a free moment, he found himself back in the main room, unable to sleep night after night… exactly as she had said — pulled in two directions at once, equally urgent on both sides. And then, when the news of Jin Ge’er’s safe return finally came, he looked in the mirror and found a scattering of white at the roots of his temples.

Xu Lingyi took Shiyiniang’s hand in his.

“So then, let us both stop grieving over what is past,” he said quietly. “From now on, let us simply live well.”

Shiyiniang nodded, then shook her head: “No — there is something the Marquis must change. You cannot go on as before, concealing things from me whenever they are not yet certain. Had I known you had already sent the Wang family’s people into the Mongol grasslands, I would not have worried so.”

As she spoke, laughter crept into her voice, and her tone became lighter and more animated.

Xu Lingyi laughed along with her, and said: “And if the Wang family’s people had not found Jin Ge’er?”

Shiyiniang was left without a word, then suddenly understood.

Xu Lingyi’s habit of acting without speaking was simply not going to change.

And her own tendency to panic and grow desperate over Jin Ge’er was probably not going to change either.

Shiyiniang laughed at herself.

The heaviness in her heart lifted entirely.

“Sleep now,” Xu Lingyi said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “There is much to do tomorrow.”

Shiyiniang said “mm” softly, and closed her eyes.

Xu Lingyi’s breathing soon deepened into a long, even rhythm.

Shiyiniang’s thoughts drifted suddenly to their wedding night.

That night, Xu Lingyi had been pretending to sleep, making this same sound. She had thought at the time: how wonderful it would be if he would give her a little time to adjust. The thought had only barely crossed her mind before he had acted anyway… She had harbored some resentment then… But looking back on it now, had he not done what he did, how could she have found such a solid footing in the Xu household from the very beginning? Even when he considered others’ needs, there was always something slightly abrupt about the way he went about it. Surely he was not like this in the wider world — otherwise no one would ever call him reticent, and he could not have risen so high in the halls of power… Or perhaps this truly was Xu Lingyi’s nature — just like her own. The closer the person, the higher the standard held, the easier the temper roused. In truth, neither was a particularly admirable quality. Changeable, yes — but difficult.

She could not help turning her head to look at Xu Lingyi.

Without the lamp lit, only the faint light of the standing palace lamp in the corner filtered through the plain grass-cloth gauze curtain.

Xu Lingyi in profile: the bridge of his nose straight and clean, his forehead broad and open, the lines of his face tracing a very beautiful contour.

The corners of her lips curved upward into a quiet, contented arc.

“Xu Lingyi!” Shiyiniang whispered his name into his ear.

Perhaps disturbed, Xu Lingyi turned over and, now facing her, sank back into deep sleep.

These past days — between the court, the northwest, and home — he had been rushed off his feet, utterly exhausted.

Shiyiniang pressed her lips together softly, and looking at Xu Lingyi’s lips moving faintly, she thought of Xu Sijin as a small child… nestled in the crook of her arm as he slept, his lips would move just like this whenever she stirred, as if in protest at her disturbing him… The memory rose in her, and suddenly her chest flooded with a wave of tender warmth.

Her lips parted slightly, and she pressed them, softly and gently, to his.

A pair of large hands suddenly gripped the back of her head with force… her lips were pried open… their breath mingled in swift, urgent pursuit… until she was left nearly breathless.

Shiyiniang’s eyes flew wide open. With one hand she pushed against him, while small sounds of protest escaped her lips.

Feeling her discomfort, Xu Lingyi released her, and looked at her flushed lips in the darkness, his laughter low and soft.

“You were pretending again!” Shiyiniang breathed, glaring at him. “You were not asleep — you were only pretending!”

“If I had not pretended to sleep, how would such a fine thing have come my way?” Joy was written in every line of his eyes and brow as he pressed down toward her lips once more…

Shiyiniang closed her eyes, wrapping her arms tightly around him. A tingling warmth rose from the base of her spine and swept upward… and his hands had not even yet reached beneath her clothes.

“The child…” Shiyiniang reminded him in a small voice.

“I know!” Xu Lingyi’s own breath had grown somewhat ragged. “Do not be afraid — I am here.”

Yes. Do not be afraid. He is here.

Shiyiniang smiled.

From the time she was small until now, she had always been alone… she had never dared to give herself wholly into another person’s keeping… But this once — let her give herself into the keeping of this man whose hair had turned white for her sake.

She nestled into his arms and let him arrange her into the position he wished, giving herself over entirely to the sensation he brought her — just as she would do in all the days of her life to come…

Do not be afraid. He is here.