Chapter 1: The Hangover
Within Laifeng Pavilion, candlelight flickered red as Pei Shangshi sat lost in melancholy thoughts, beginning to slowly reveal to Consort Li the past events that had been buried deep in her heart for many years:
“I was born and raised in Yuezhou. My father was originally a scholar, but unfortunately died young. I was raised by my mother, who made a living selling pastries. My mother, née Tang, was famous far and wide for her pastries. Though she ran only a small shop, business was thriving, and she was eventually able to save up some money. Mother never mistreated me. I cannot say I lived in luxury, but I can fairly say I grew up without want for food or clothing. My temperament was also somewhat indulged by mother, so sometimes when I encounter people I cannot stand, I speak without restraint.”
Consort Li smiled upon hearing this: “Your experiences, Shangshi, sound quite similar to Zhenzhen’s. Did you also enter the palace due to family misfortune?”
Pei Shangshi sighed deeply: “The earlier part was indeed similar to Zhenzhen’s, but later it became like Yun Yingge’s story… When I was seventeen, I went out of the city to visit relatives. On the return journey, I took the water route, paying to board a boat. There were seven or eight people on that boat, including a scholar who, though dressed in old cloth robes washed white, carried himself with proper bearing and extraordinary demeanor. I couldn’t help but look at him a few more times. When the boat reached Yuezhou city, most passengers disembarked and left, but when that scholar tried to leave, he was stopped by the boatman. It seemed he had only then remembered he hadn’t paid the boat fare. He searched in his bosom for a while, and all the copper coins he produced weren’t even half the fare. The boatman immediately became angry and began hurling insults. I saw the scholar at a loss, his face flushing red to the roots of his neck, not knowing how to respond. Unable to bear it, I paid the remaining amount for him myself. After disembarking, he followed me and thanked me repeatedly. Through our conversation, I learned he was from Mingzhou and had borrowed a large sum to treat his widowed mother’s illness. After his mother recovered, he was unable to repay the debt, so he had to flee to Yuezhou to avoid his creditors. Seeing that he was penniless and had no friends or relatives in Yuezhou to rely on, I suggested he come to my house to help my mother keep accounts for a living. He gladly agreed. This scholar was Shen Han.”
Consort Li gradually guessed the subsequent developments: “Since Participant Shen was both handsome and a scholar, your mother must have quickly thought he was a suitable son-in-law candidate.”
“Ah…” Pei Shangshi recalled the old events, looking quite wistful. “He was very talented. In just two days, he had organized the shop’s accounts clearly and precisely, not a penny off. When he spoke, he quoted classics and expounded grand principles one after another, leaving all who heard him in admiration. I was young then and inevitably attracted to him, often going to see him. My mother noticed my feelings but didn’t stop our interactions. Instead, it was a cousin who worked in my family who resented his closeness to me. Once, when I met privately with Shen Han, this cousin brought people to surround him, giving him a thorough humiliation, saying he was a dependent seeking wealth and even trying to seduce the master’s daughter… I cried bitterly in anger. He tried to defend himself, but no one listened. Just as it looked like he was about to be beaten, I picked up a stick to protect him. At that moment, my mother, hearing the commotion, arrived. She calmly stood in front of us and told everyone: ‘Shen Han is the husband I’ve chosen for Baose. They will marry sooner or later. He’s about to return home for the prefectural examination and will later take the imperial examination. Whoever dares harm him must first get past me and see if I agree!’ After driving away that group, mother privately told Shen Han: ‘What I said just now was an expedient measure, not meant to force you to marry Baose. You are very talented, and it’s time you returned to Mingzhou to take the prefectural examination. Don’t worry about your debt – I’ve also saved up some money over these years, so let me lend it to you to repay your debts. Go home with peace of mind to take the examination. I wish you early success. Don’t worry about the money I’m lending you either – I won’t press you for it. You can repay it whenever you have surplus money.’ Shen Han was moved to tears upon hearing this, bowing in gratitude to my mother, saying he indeed liked me very much, and if my mother and I didn’t despise him, he very much hoped to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me, filially caring for my mother. Mother was also very happy to hear him say this, and this marriage was settled. Soon after, I saw him off. That winter, he came back to see my mother and me, happily telling us he had passed the prefectural examination and would go to Lin’an to take the spring examination the following year. He also promised that once he passed the imperial examination, he would definitely arrange proper matchmaking and marry me.”
Consort Li followed Pei Shangshi’s narration with occasional sighs, and hearing this, suddenly asked: “Could it be that Participant Shen didn’t pass that time? Otherwise, he wouldn’t have broken his word.”
Pei Shangshi shook her head: “After the spring examination results were announced, we waited and waited, but he didn’t return. Later, we found the results list and discovered he wasn’t on it. Mother said that was fine too – she was still willing to marry me to him. In the future, even if he didn’t become an official, it would be good if he managed the pastry shop well. But he never appeared. Mother waited several more months, and finally couldn’t help but ask someone to go to Mingzhou to find him at the address he’d given, only to find the place empty. The neighbors didn’t know where he and his mother had moved. Seeing this situation, my cousin and others inevitably gossiped again, saying things like Shen Han had deliberately not returned, that he had been deceiving us for money and affection from the start, and having now absconded with a large sum, he would naturally hide as far away as possible. My mother always believed in his character, thinking he must be hiding somewhere, waiting to return and marry me after passing the imperial examination. I thought the same. Unfortunately, more and more people in my hometown suspected he had abandoned me after getting what he wanted. Every time I went out, people would point and whisper about me, making my life extremely difficult. Year after year passed like this. I didn’t want to marry anyone else, and those who would propose to me were only widowers and lonely men. Later, when the palace wanted to select women from among the people to enter as palace ladies, I felt that rather than stay in Yuezhou enduring ridicule, I might as well apply. If I went to Lin’an as a palace lady, then if he passed the imperial examination and became a scholar-official, there would surely be a day when we could meet.”
“This situation is indeed quite like Yun Yingge’s,” Consort Li sighed. “But I still feel that a gentleman like Participant Shen is worlds apart from a heartless man like Fu Junyi. Even if he didn’t return as scheduled, there should be some compelling reason.”
Pei Shangshi didn’t answer directly, remaining silent for a moment before continuing: “I entered the palace as a palace lady in the Royal Kitchen, learning culinary arts from Lady Liu, who was the most trusted Royal Kitchen official by the late emperor at that time. Later, I had the opportunity to serve the late emperor, and indeed saw Shen Han again. That year, when the imperial examination results were announced, I watched from afar – he had achieved first class honors. Thereafter, the late emperor favored him exceptionally, and he rose rapidly through the ranks, soon returning to Lin’an as a capital official. I also encountered him many times, sometimes in the palace, sometimes when I left the palace to buy food from the markets for the late emperor. Once, outside the palace, I finally had the chance to be alone with him. I asked him why he hadn’t returned to find me. He said that back then, he had indeed failed the examination and was too ashamed to face my mother and me. He had also been bullied by local wealthy families, so he took his mother and moved, hiding in the countryside to study diligently. Later, after passing the imperial examination, he had gone to Yuezhou to look for me, only to hear that I had already entered the palace as a palace lady… We lamented the unpredictability of fate, yet were also grateful that neither of us was married. The emperor treated us both well at that time – perhaps there would be a day when he would be willing to fulfill our wishes.”
Consort Li smiled: “That thinking was correct. Though Pengshan is far, like little Song’s case, when encountering an emperor who values loyalty and righteousness, there are precedents of court officials and palace ladies having their dreams fulfilled.”
But Pei Shangshi showed no joy, continuing to narrate what happened afterward in a flat tone: “Like little Song, he was also promoted to Hanlin Scholar, with opportunities to keep night vigils in the Hanlin Academy, ready to draft imperial edicts during the night. Sometimes, even when the late emperor didn’t need him to draft edicts, he would summon him for casual conversation. At that time, I was promoted to Food Service, and I became the one who tasted the emperor’s food before him, replacing Lady Liu. Seeing the favorable situation, we agreed that next time the emperor summoned him for a night audience, he would speak up, telling the emperor about our past relationship and begging the emperor to fulfill our wishes. Such an opportunity soon came. One day, when Shen Han was on night duty, the late emperor summoned him to Funing Hall, wanting to give him a topic to draft an edict announcing the eldest princess’s marriage. The eldest princess was the late emperor’s only sister in Lin’an. The late emperor had carefully chosen and finally found a suitable prince consort for her. Seeing that she was about to marry, the late emperor was very… happy and drank a lot that night, becoming quite drunk. Though he had summoned Shen Han, he kept him waiting outside Funing Hall, and this wait lasted the entire night. I saw the emperor was severely drunk, vomiting violently. The young palace ladies serving him in the hall were frightened and didn’t dare approach him, so I couldn’t leave on my own. I cleaned up his vomit, brought him sobering ice to consume, and helped him wash… Even after he fell asleep, I wasn’t at ease, keeping watch outside his tent, ready to serve him tea and water at any moment. So I barely slept the entire night. I only dozed off drowsily near dawn, and later woke only when the late emperor covered me with his robe. I quickly knelt and begged forgiveness, but the late emperor asked gently whether I had watched over him all night, saying I had worked hard, and asked what reward I wanted, promising to thank me properly. I very much wanted to tell him about Shen Han and me, but I was ultimately too shy. Also thinking that Shen Han would soon tell him, I wasn’t in a hurry, so I said I hadn’t thought of anything and said nothing. After the late emperor finished his morning toilette, I left Funing Hall. Outside the hall, I encountered Shen Han, who had waited in vain all night. Seeing his rather haggard appearance, I must have looked the same. But thinking our wish would soon be fulfilled, I was still very happy, so I smiled at him and passed by him with lowered head. I never expected that this crossing of paths would mark the end of our fate in this lifetime.”
“Participant Shen didn’t subsequently ask the late emperor about wanting to marry you?” Consort Li vaguely guessed what had happened and couldn’t help but sigh inwardly.
“No.” Pei Shangshi said gloomily. “Later I heard that the late emperor didn’t ask him to draft the edict either, saying he had worked hard waiting all night and couldn’t bear to trouble him further, so he had the next Hanlin Scholar on duty draft the edict instead. And Shen Han said nothing either, silently accepting the late emperor’s reward and taking his leave… I thought he wanted to choose another good opportunity to speak, but I never expected that soon after, I would hear the ‘joyful news’ of his marriage to his mentor’s daughter…”
Consort Li didn’t know what to say at this moment, only furrowing her brow and shaking her head silently.
Pei Shangshi smiled sadly: “Before his marriage, he sent a sum of money to my mother who was still in our hometown – a large amount, several times what my mother had given him years ago. Along with it, he informed her of his wedding news. He didn’t say he was sorry to me, only stating ‘the fate between your daughter and I is shallow in this life; please do not think of each other anymore’… My mother had always deeply believed in his character, defending him everywhere before those who doubted him. She never expected to receive such an outcome. A knot of resentment formed in her heart, and she fell ill from it. After several months, she departed this world, leaving me behind.”