Wu Zhenzhen suppressed her urge to laugh and entered the hall, bowing to Shen Han: “Assistant Administrator Shen, the Hening Gate is about to open. Please go outside to wait.”
Shen Han immediately strode toward where the officials were lining up to wait. Wu Zhenzhen watched him go, then after a moment entered the hall to inspect and discovered that the tablet Shen Han had slammed on the table was still there. She immediately picked it up and hurried out to chase after him.
At this time, the Hening Gate was slowly opening, and the queue of court officials began extending toward the gate. Shen Han was in the front row among the chief ministers. Wu Zhenzhen was blocked by the crowd and couldn’t get close to the chief ministers, so she had to stand on her toes and call out, “Assistant Administrator Shen…”
After calling several times, Shen Han did hear her, but he didn’t want to acknowledge her. With a cold face, he arrogantly raised his head, walked with steady, measured steps, and entered the palace city without looking aside.
Wu Zhenzhen looked at the tablet still in her hand and sighed toward Shen Han’s back as he disappeared into the crowd: “Very well, you’re the one who doesn’t want it.”
That day in Vertical Arch Hall, Shen Han again brought up the matter of abolishing food in the Waiting Hall. The ministers had been enjoying the Waiting Hall delicacies for so long that they had grown quite accustomed to them. Several immediately spoke out against Shen Han’s opinion, directly expressing their hope that the breakfast service would continue. Hearing this, Shen Han became even angrier. From the perspectives of etiquette, regulations, and history, he eloquently expounded his views, insisting that the Emperor accept his remonstrance. When mentioning relevant historical examples from the records, he couldn’t remember some details, so his speech faltered. Shen Han immediately reached toward his waist, intending to take out his tablet to check the content he had previously recorded, only to discover that the place where he kept his tablet was empty. He was stunned and felt around his waist front and back but couldn’t find it. In his urgency, he felt something hanging in his sleeve, so he reached in and this time grasped a long, strip-shaped object. His heart relaxed slightly, and he immediately pulled it out, held it with both hands, faced the Emperor, and was about to speak eloquently…
His eyes immediately widened to nearly the size of bronze bells—what stood in the center of his vision was not a tablet, but a Guanghan Cake, and it was the piece that was missing a section.
“This, this is…” The Emperor on the throne looked intently and seemed to understand something, unable to help breaking into a smile.
Seeing His Majesty laugh, the ministers no longer restrained themselves. The hall quickly erupted in waves of continuous, unending laughter.
“How does Assistant Administrator Shen come to be holding a Waiting Hall pastry? This Guanghan Cake seems to even have bite marks on it?” Zeng Jie was first to question, then deliberately frowned and shook his head. “No, no, Assistant Administrator Shen has always deeply detested Waiting Hall food and would never secretly take a bite. I must have slept in the wrong position last night and am still dreaming.”
“No, no, in this humble official’s opinion, Assistant Administrator Shen doesn’t hate Waiting Hall food at all, but loves it more than any of us,” Ji Jinglan said seriously to Zeng Jie. “Please look—Assistant Administrator Shen is now demonstrating to us what it means to be unable to let go of something you love.”
Shen Han could neither throw away nor hide the Guanghan Cake, so he had to keep holding it. Hearing Ji Jinglan’s words, the ministers looked pointedly at Shen Han’s embarrassed state and couldn’t help laughing again.
Ji Jinglan then cheerfully paced over to Shen Han’s side and said, “This humble official understands Assistant Administrator Shen’s thoughts. It’s simply that the Waiting Hall pastries are too delicious, and the Administrator wants to feast on them, but fears being seen and losing face, so he hides them in his sleeve, wanting to take them home to savor carefully… You and I are both lovers of fine food—we understand, we understand!” After speaking, he turned to bow deeply to the Emperor. “Your Majesty cherishes your subjects and shows consideration for the chief ministers. This subject hopes Your Majesty will henceforth specially grant Assistant Administrator Shen a food box, specifically for taking Waiting Hall pastries home, lest he always stuff them in his sleeve, with crumbs inevitably scattering inside and outside his clothing—both unclean and inelegant. How can Assistant Administrator Shen, who has always been dignified in his conduct, endure this?”
Many people suppressed their laughter and deliberately bowed deeply: “We second this motion.”
“Enough of your jesting words,” the Emperor raised his hand to press down, signaling the ministers who were still mocking Shen Han to be quiet, then turned to Shen Han with a gentle smile. “But since the Administrator himself eats Waiting Hall food, why must he oppose it?”
Shen Han didn’t respond to the ministers’ mockery with a single word, but upon returning home, he immediately wrote nearly a thousand words in a memorial to His Majesty, requesting retirement. The Emperor was quite surprised and personally wrote back with kind comfort. Shen Han submitted another memorial, claiming he was old and frail, with illness, hoping to return to his hometown to spend his remaining years in peace.
This time the Emperor didn’t reply directly but privately invited Shen Han to the palace, coming to Jieming Hall to dine with him.
“Today’s imperial cuisine is different from usual—it’s not made by the imperial kitchen, but I had Pei Shangshi purchase it from outside the palace,” the Emperor introduced to Shen Han. “Look, Granny Li’s mixed vegetable soup, He Si’s cheese noodles, Dirty San’s pork pancreas pancakes, the Ge family’s sweet food… all made by old people from Bianjing. When the late Emperor requested market food, he loved these items most and often invited you and me to eat together. Does the Administrator still remember?”
Shen Han bowed: “The imperial grace is vast—this subject dare not forget.”
The Emperor sighed: “The late Emperor missed Bianjing and also treasured old ministers and old friends. He often taught me to respect teachers and stay close to worthy ministers, especially Teacher Shen, who has assisted me since my youth. Now the four barbarian tribes have not submitted, weapons of war have not ceased, and there are sometimes treacherous people seeking power in the country. The ministers I completely trust are few, and Teacher is undoubtedly one of them. Facing such internal and external troubles, can Teacher bear to abandon his sovereign and country to retire in seclusion?”
Shen Han was moved by these words and said, “As long as Your Majesty needs this subject to serve the country loyally, this subject will go through fire and water, facing ten thousand deaths without regret. This subject merely sees that the court is full of outstanding talents, each spirited and ambitious, while this subject is growing old. What I think and consider may not meet the needs of the times. It’s time to yield to the worthy, so I dare not continue to occupy a high position undeservedly.”
“What’s out of step with the times are those inappropriate jokes, not Teacher’s thoughts. Teacher should let them pass like wind through your ears and not take them to heart,” the Emperor raised his cup to urge more wine, drinking several cups with Shen Han and constantly comforting him. Finally, Shen Han’s mood gradually improved, and he no longer mentioned retirement.
After the meal, Shen Han took his leave. The Emperor, seeing that he had enjoyed the market food and eaten quite a bit, had Pei Shangshi pack the leftovers in a food box for him to take home. Pei Shangshi bowed and said, “This subject understands. We bought several portions of this market food at the time and have already packed one portion, waiting for Assistant Administrator Shen to take away.”
The Emperor praised: “Lady Shangshi is truly understanding, more thoughtful than I.”
Pei Shangshi smiled slightly: “This subject knows that Assistant Administrator Shen never directly says what he wants—he only hints, expecting people to guess. Why should Your Majesty be troubled to guess such trivial matters? This subject took the liberty of arranging it for Assistant Administrator Shen in advance.”
Shen Han’s mood, which had just improved, was ruined again by her words. In the end, he refused to accept the Emperor’s gift and left empty-handed with a flick of his sleeve.
The Emperor also noticed something and privately summoned Wu Zhenzhen to ask in detail about Pei Shangshi’s attitude toward Shen Han all along. Wu Zhenzhen told him truthfully, and the Emperor sighed: “I also know they have harbored mutual hostility for many years, but I don’t know what caused it… Unfortunately, my efforts today to retain Assistant Administrator Shen were almost completely undone by those few words from Pei Shangshi.”
Wu Zhenzhen said: “I think that Assistant Administrator Shen is really too rigid and stubborn. Last time, Vice Minister Zeng merely sang half a pleasant song in the Waiting Hall, and he scolded him, saying Zeng was singing decadent music. It’s quite normal for Pei Shangshi to dislike him, so she often can’t help mocking him.”
“Oh? What song did Vice Minister Zeng sing?” the Emperor asked.
Wu Zhenzhen carefully recalled and answered: “It was said to be a poem by Imperial Reader Sun Zhu. I only remember the first line: ‘Sadly viewing life’s swift passage, the mournful remaining notes of the precious zither.'”
“The mournful remaining notes of the precious zither…” the Emperor repeated this line thoughtfully.
“I think this poem is very well written! Vice Minister Zeng also said it was elegant and graceful—where is the decadence?” Wu Zhenzhen was quite indignant. “Assistant Administrator Shen flew into a rage upon hearing it, and when others tried to mediate, he scolded them too. Watching this left me completely confused—why such an extreme reaction?”
The Emperor looked at Wu Zhenzhen with a knowing smile: “Do you know Pei Shangshi’s given name?”
Wu Zhenzhen shook her head in confusion.
“Baose,” the Emperor said. “She’s called Pei Baose.”
High ministers had very few opportunities to learn the given names of palace women. This discovery aroused great interest in the Emperor and Wu Zhenzhen regarding possible past connections between Shen Han and Pei Shangshi, but neither of them was in a position to directly question Pei Shangshi about the hidden circumstances. The Emperor told Consort Li about this and had her try to find out more.
Consort Li subsequently invited Pei Shangshi to her pavilion, dismissed the idle attendants, and told her: “Last time when Assistant Administrator Shen dined with His Majesty in Jieming Hall, after hearing Pei Shangshi say ‘he only hints, expecting people to guess,’ he seemed both anxious and annoyed. Upon returning home, he fell ill. The imperial physician went to see him and reported to His Majesty that the illness was serious and wouldn’t recover quickly.”
Pei Shangshi remained silent. After a long time, she sighed deeply: “If Assistant Administrator Shen suffers any misfortune, causing His Majesty to lose a pillar of support, I would willingly die to atone for my crime.”
“Shangshi need not be so extreme. His Majesty doesn’t blame you,” Consort Li comforted her. “His Majesty can see that there seems to be some unresolved issue between you and Assistant Administrator Shen. If Shangshi trusts me, you might tell me the cause and effect, and His Majesty and I can see how to resolve it.”
Pei Shangshi lowered her head without speaking. Consort Li sighed again: “Both Shangshi and the Administrator are no longer young. Don’t say all things turn to emptiness—whether they turn or not, it’s all just being in a great dream. At this age, even if there was past resentment, what is there that cannot be let go?”
Hearing these words, Pei Shangshi slowly raised her head and gazed at Consort Li. A layer of tears appeared in her usually calm eyes: “Yes, I harbor resentment. This resentment has been buried in my heart for decades. Not knowing how to vent it, it gradually seemed to transform into an inner demon. Every time I see him, that demon wants to claw its way out. His every word and action seem wrong to me. Every time I see or hear him, I can’t help but ridicule and mock him. I want to control myself, but I can’t. I detest this version of myself. I’ve spent decades trying to forget those past events, but I still don’t know how to cast aside love, hate, anger, and delusion to regard him with an ordinary heart.”
Consort Li looked at Pei Shangshi with sympathy and softly voiced her guess: “Did Shangshi and Assistant Administrator Shen once have feelings for each other?”
Pei Shangshi sadly lowered her eyes and after a moment slowly replied: “To be precise, we had a betrothal.”
Consort Li wasn’t very surprised and said calmly: “So he betrayed you.”
Pei Shangshi nodded, then added: “He betrayed more than just me.”