The crescent moon moved westward as the night deepened. The sea breeze was gentle and moist, rippling the surface of the water and scattering the starry river. Leaning against the railing for a brief rest, one could hear the rhythmic sound of waves.
Perhaps it was because that snow crab dish had quite an aftereffect, even stronger than the wine from Yongxue City. Even the sea breeze couldn’t dispel the heat on her face, instead making her feel increasingly lazy. Mu Xuanling leaned out, resting her head on her arms as she gazed at the sea. Unknown fish, attracted by the firelight, were jumping around the Floating Cloud Airship, occasionally leaping out of the water, creating beautiful silver ripples.
— How beautiful…
— They look so happy…
— I wonder if they taste good…
— Could this be fake too?
— Perhaps the real is ugly, and only the fake is beautiful…
— I want to jump down and play in the water…
— I don’t think I know how to swim…
Affected by the alcohol, her thoughts wandered. She didn’t even notice the footsteps approaching from behind.
“Ling’er.” It wasn’t until the person came to her side and softly called her name that she sluggishly turned her head, tilting it to look at the person before her.
“Young Master Nan?” Mu Xuanling’s voice was soft and hoarse with intoxication, her cheeks flushed and eyes misty, less cunning and lively, but more endearingly naive. “Why are you here?”
Nan Xuyue spoke gently, “I knocked on your room door, but there was no response. I thought you might have come here for some fresh air.”
Mu Xuanling made a small sound of acknowledgment, then turned back to watch the fish. “Young Master Nan, do you know how to swim?”
Nan Xuyue followed her gaze to the shimmering waves on the sea surface and smiled, “No, I don’t.”
“So there are things you can’t do too.” Mu Xuanling gave a silly laugh, then frowned with regret, “I’m sorry, I forgot your foot was injured.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” Nan Xuyue smiled dismissively, “I’m just an ordinary person, there are many things I can’t do.”
“You’re not ordinary at all,” she said seriously, counting his virtues on her fingers. “You’ve read so many books, your skill in formations and mechanisms is unparalleled, and you excel in music, chess, calligraphy, and painting. Moreover, you’re so kind and gentle to everyone. Even a treasure-sniffing rat would get your help if it asked. You just… encountered bad people, that’s why your divine aperture was destroyed.” As she spoke, she suddenly paused, raising her hand to touch her brow, “I have a divine aperture… Yes, the Jade Palace Scripture can rebuild divine apertures!” Her eyes widened with excitement, those peach blossom eyes sparkling alluringly, “Nan Xuyue, I can pass on my cultivation to you. If you learn the Jade Palace Scripture, you might be able to rebuild your divine aperture!”
Nan Xuyue was stunned, then chuckled softly, “You’re drunk. Do you know what you’re saying?”
“I do know. If you recover your divine aperture, you won’t be any less than Xie Xuechen.” Mu Xuanling was as excited as if she had discovered a treasure, clutching Nan Xuyue’s sleeve, “Just try it, okay?”
“Passing on cultivation means exposing oneself completely and defenseless to the other person. Traditionally, only masters and disciples, husbands and wives, or fathers and sons would pass on cultivation to each other.” Nan Xuyue asked in a low voice, smiling, “Ling’er, what am I to you?”
Mu Xuanling was stunned for a moment, but instead of answering Nan Xuyue’s question, she said, “But Sect Leader Xie also passed his cultivation to me…”
It seemed as if an answer was floating up and down in the water, vaguely about to surface.
Nan Xuyue reached out to brush away the stray hairs blown loose by the night wind at her temple, gently tucking them behind her ear. His cool fingertips intentionally or unintentionally brushed against her delicate and sensitive earlobe. Her ear tip twitched like a startled little animal, turning a faint shade of pink.
“I know you’re drunk, but I still can’t help wanting to hear false comfort from your lips,” Nan Xuyue drew closer, leaning in slightly to inhale her scent, a mix of three parts alcohol and three parts floral fragrance, brewing into an intoxicatingly sweet and soft aroma. “If there were no Xie Xuechen, you would have fallen in love with me, wouldn’t you?”
Mu Xuanling frowned slightly, her intoxicated peach blossom eyes misting over as if scattered with crushed stars. Through the thin veil of mist in her eyes, she looked at Nan Xuyue in confusion.
“What does it have to do with Sect Leader Xie?” She didn’t understand.
“Yes, it has nothing to do with him…” He chuckled lightly, then sighed, “Ling’er, you’re like this… It makes one want to bully you.”
“You would never bully anyone,” Mu Xuanling didn’t believe him, “You’re a good person.”
“If you don’t like it, I can become bad too.” He curled his lips in what seemed like self-mockery, his handsome features tinged with melancholy. He was extremely close to her, his faint woody scent intertwining with her sweet girlish fragrance. He stared intently at the jade pendant on her neck, his usually gentle voice slightly hoarse with restraint, “He’s not suitable for you. Only I understand you.”
“You and I are the same. We’ve both been abandoned by this world, seen the darkest nights, walked the longest roads. At our most painful and desperate moments, just a single smile could give us redemption. I understand how you cherish every life that has ever shown you warmth because I’m the same.”
“But you’re gentler than me. Anyone who has ever shown you warmth, you’re willing to repay with your life. You can unhesitatingly shield me with your body, even though you don’t love me. But I can’t do that…”
“I too can risk everything for you, but only for you…”
He knew he wasn’t truly a gentle person, only using a mild facade to conceal the coldness within. That courtesy and gentleness were just social graces. The only one he was truly willing to love with all his heart was her alone.
Mu Xuanling stared blankly at Nan Xuyue’s handsome face. His clear eyes, so close she could see herself reflected in them, concealed unknown pain and sorrow. He lowered his head, and the moonlight didn’t reach his eyes. In his eyes, there was only her.
“Nan Xuyue…” She frowned in confusion, murmuring, not resisting the warmth of his touch on her cheek.
Nan Xuyue’s fingertips caressed the soft skin of her face as his handsome visage slowly drew closer. His low, husky voice resonated in her ear, “Ling’er, you once promised to give me a little bit of your affection.” His hand gently cupped her delicate chin as he lowered his voice enticingly, asking softly, “Can you give me a little more?”
Could she?
Mu Xuanling became dazed.
It felt as if a part of her heart had emptied as if she once had so much affection, but it had all disappeared. Where did it go?
She frowned in confusion, forgetting to answer his question, which seemed to give silent permission for his closeness. Just as Nan Xuyue’s kiss was about to fall, she felt a sudden tug on her arm. An irresistible force pulled her body away from Nan Xuyue’s embrace.
Mu Xuanling suddenly crashed into a solid chest, her waist held firmly. She rubbed her head, regaining some clarity, and looked up angrily at Xie Xuechen, “What are you doing!”
Nan Xuyue slowly turned around to face Xie Xuechen, a smile on his lips but no trace of warmth or gentleness in his eyes.
“The Red String of Fate,” Nan Xuyue said, looking at the identical red cords on their wrists. “Ling’er is not a prisoner.”
Xie Xuechen coldly looked at Nan Xuyue, “I have never seen her as a prisoner.”
Mu Xuanling’s face flushed red with anger as she pushed and hit his chest, “Nonsense! You’re treating me like a dog on a leash!”
Xie Xuechen sighed softly, catching her restless hands and softening his voice, “You’re drunk. We’ll talk when we get back.”
Nan Xuyue intervened, “She’s drunk. It’s not appropriate for you to take her back.”
“Master Nan, given your actions just now, I’m afraid you’re in no position to say that,” Xie Xuechen didn’t hide the cold hostility in his words.
Seeing that she couldn’t move Xie Xuechen, Mu Xuanling reached out to Nan Xuyue for help: “Nan Xuyue, save me!”
Xie Xuechen’s heart tightened, a trace of bitterness creeping in.
Nan Xuyue said in a deep voice, “She doesn’t want to go with you.”
Xie Xuechen replied, “She’s been poisoned by the Heart-Enlightening Grass.”
“What?” Nan Xuyue was shocked, “But the symptoms don’t seem similar.”
“We don’t know what Sang Qi did, but Xuan Xin’s judgment should be correct,” Xie Xuechen said. “Our trip to Luowu Mountain this time was to obtain the antidote for the Heart-Enlightening Grass poison, the seeds of the Longevity Lotus.”
Mu Xuanling slowly stopped struggling and looked up at Xie Xuechen, asking sluggishly, “What did you just say? I’ve been poisoned?”
Xie Xuechen lowered his eyes to look at her and said gently, “Yes, the Lotus Heart Seed was obtained for you.”
Mu Xuanling’s face changed, and she struggled even harder, “You’re talking nonsense! I won’t eat such a thing!”
The Lotus Heart Seed was the bitterness of all living beings. Why should she have to suffer?
Nan Xuyue’s expression darkened with uncertainty. Then he heard Xie Xuechen say, “If the poison isn’t neutralized, her life will be in danger. I will make her take the antidote and protect her heart meridians. Master Nan, if you truly care for her, you should know what choice to make.”
Nan Xuyue ultimately gave up his resistance.
If Ling’er were cured of the poison, her eyes and heart would only have room for Xie Xuechen.
But if she weren’t cured, her life would be in danger…
He would rather see her live well, and he could wait…
Xie Xuechen carried Mu Xuanling back to her room. The door closed behind them, and a barrier immediately formed.
Xie Xuechen placed the half-drunk, half-awake girl on the soft bed with its silken pillows and brocade quilt. He sat on the edge of the bed, blocking her escape route.
Mu Xuanling struggled with all her limbs. Xie Xuechen couldn’t bear to use his spiritual power to protect himself, fearing he might hurt her, so he endured her attacks. The angry and drunk person had no restraint, each blow landing on his chest and abdomen with full force. Xie Xuechen frowned, a trace of blood seeping from the corner of his pale lips.
Mu Xuanling paused, stunned, and asked hoarsely, “Why don’t you dodge?”
“What do you think…” Xie Xuechen smiled bitterly, “You’re so clever, you should understand.”
“What should I understand?” Mu Xuanling’s mind was buzzing, in complete chaos.
“The Red String of Fate is a thread of destiny,” Xie Xuechen held her palm, his long fingers intertwining with hers. His low, husky voice resonated in her ear, “To hold your hand is to wish to grow old with you.”
Mu Xuanling was dumbfounded, feeling the gradually rising temperature in her palm. She trembled slightly and said in a tone of sudden realization and confusion, “You truly… like me?”
“The word ‘like’ seems too light,” Xie Xuechen sighed softly. He reached out to wrap an arm around her waist, leaning in slightly to rest his forehead against hers, his phoenix eyes gazing deeply into her bewildered ones.
“Is it love then?” Mu Xuanling asked.
Xie Xuechen’s eyes filled with soft yet heavy emotion as he spoke softly but solemnly, “It is love. Love that makes one jealous and doubtful, anxious and insecure, love that’s beyond one’s control.”
She had never imagined such words would come from Xie Xuechen’s mouth. The beating in her chest intensified, making her breathing irregular. She lowered her eyes, not daring to look at Xie Xuechen, her hand by her side tightly gripping the quilt.
“I know you can’t respond to me now because of the Heart-Enlightening Grass’s poison. I brought the Lotus Heart Seed to save your life, but I also have my selfish reasons,” Xie Xuechen lowered his head to gently kiss the tear mole at the corner of her eye, his voice hoarse, “I hope you can fall in love with me again.”
The ticklish sensation at the corner of her eye made her blink involuntarily, her lashes dampened with tears, appearing even thicker and darker, like butterfly wings.
“Maybe you’re mistaken… What if I take the Lotus Heart Seed and still don’t like you?” she couldn’t help but ask.
Xie Xuechen’s heart tightened, then he smiled bitterly, “Then I… still can’t let go.”
The crimson lotus seed floated in the air, emitting a slightly bitter fragrance. Mu Xuanling looked at it hesitantly, thinking of it as the most bitter thing in the world, and couldn’t help but shrink back.
Xie Xuechen’s firm hand pressed against her back, his voice gentle yet determined, “I will bear it with you. Ling’er… I will always be by your side.”
Xie Xuechen took the lotus seed into his mouth. The intense bitterness, stronger than the world’s strongest wine, instantly swept through his mouth and reached his heart. Without a sound, he leaned in and kissed her full, vibrant red lips, his tongue parting her tightly closed lips to pass the lotus seed into her mouth.
The delicate body in his palm suddenly trembled. She instinctively tried to spit out the lotus seed, but he blocked her lips. His agile and soft tongue pressed against hers, accompanied by a moist, lingering caress. A hint of sweet blood entered her mouth. His hand lightly touched her chin, and her throat swallowed involuntarily. The lotus seed fell into her stomach, and the bitterness pierced her heart like a sharp knife. The intense bitter pain consumed all her consciousness.
What is the suffering of all living beings?
It is the pain of separation from loved ones, the agony of meeting those we hate, the burning of the five aggregates.
It is not getting what we want, and losing what we have.
Compared to the bitterness in one’s heart, what is the bitterness on the tongue?
Mu Xuanling’s heart began to ache violently as if being repeatedly pierced by the sharpest blade, then mercilessly twisted. It was an intangible pain, the heart-wrenching agony of losing those dearest to you, the despair and helplessness of being betrayed and abandoned. It was watching Xie Xuechen breathe his last before her, holding his cold body, feeling utterly hopeless and wishing for death…
Tears gushed forth, sliding down from the corners of her eyes, wetting her long hair and the pillow. She sobbed convulsively. Xie Xuechen held her tightly in his arms, his palm pressed against her back and shoulder blades, pouring vast amounts of spiritual energy into her body, enveloping her violently beating heart and protecting her heart meridians.
The medicinal properties of the world’s bitterness spread from her heart, layers upon layers of bitter pain crashing like waves against her heart, colliding with the blockade of the Heart-Enlightening Grass’s poison. The two powerful forces wrestled and confronted each other in her fragile heart, waxing and waning. Each heartbeat was a soul-deep agony, making her break out in a cold sweat and tremble all over.
Mu Xuanling’s face turned deathly pale. She whimpered and bit down on Xie Xuechen’s left shoulder. Xie Xuechen didn’t resist, only fearing she might hurt herself. The iron taste of blood dispersed the bitterness on her tongue, and hot tears fell on his neck, burning his heart.
“Ling’er, Ling’er…” His clear, hoarse voice called her name softly.
The scenes in her memory gradually became clear, those colorless, pale images slowly regaining their original hues. She remembered the flutter in her heart when they first met, the wild joy of their reunion, the heart-wrenching grief of losing him, the sadness and hurt of being rejected by him…
“Xie Xuechen…” Her hoarse voice weakly called his name, “Xie Xuechen…”
Xie Xuechen trembled, one hand caressing her tear-stained face, his voice shaking, “Ling’er, do you remember?”
She threw her arms around his neck, clinging to him like a drowning person grasping at a floating log. She pressed herself against him, trembling, and burst into tears.
She remembered everything now – the Heart-Enlightening Water that Sang Qi had forced her to drink, and all those heartless words she had said to Xie Xuechen, all those resolute things she had done.
Her emptied heart was slowly filled again with emotions, both joyful and sorrowful, all because of him. The intense pain gradually subsided, replaced by a tingling fullness. It was the sweetness after bitterness, the feeling of seeing through the mortal world yet still loving you.
She tightened her arms, tears continuously pooling at his collar, soaking through his robes. Her thin back trembled slightly with uncontrollable sobs. Xie Xuechen gently stroked her back with one hand, while the other continued to channel spiritual energy to protect her heart meridians and clear her channels.
“Ling’er, does it still hurt?” His voice was hoarse and trembling, tenderly kissing her sweat-dampened temple.
Her heartbeat finally began to stabilize, but her tears wouldn’t stop.
“I’m sorry…” Her tear-choked voice softly apologized, “I hurt you so many times…”
Xie Xuechen gently embraced her body, his cool voice heavy with emotion: “You know, those aren’t the words I want to hear.”
Mu Xuanling raised her head from his neck, her beautiful peach blossom eyes red from crying, the tear mole at the corner of her eye now gone. He sighed in relief, then saw her lift her face and kiss his lips preciously.
“Xie Xuechen, I love you.”
It had been so since seven years ago.
He raised his hand to hold the back of her head, deepening the kiss.
The greatest fortune in life is to regain what was once lost.