Xia Xia couldn’t remember where she had read that quote.
For men, ex-relationships are “Save As,” but for women, they are “Overwrite.”
Except for special cases like Xie Huai who couldn’t even remember his ex-girlfriends’ names, Xia Xia thought this saying had some truth to it.
For her, Ping Jiapeng wasn’t just “Overwrite” – he was “Delete” followed by “Empty Recycle Bin.”
What she tried to sever and avoid wasn’t the person, but that period.
— A cramped, narrow world where dark clouds loomed overhead, the leaden sky gloomy like the suffocating moments before a storm.
Seeing Ping Jiapeng again stirred up many memories, both clear and hazy.
Though not entirely the same, they were all invariably tied to poverty and the sensitivity and insecurity that came from carefully trying to hide that poverty.
She didn’t want to remember the past.
It took Ping Jiapeng a long while to process the meaning of her words, his delighted and excited expression changing instantly.
He pondered her words: “The one meeting my uncle about the project today is your boyfriend?”
He paused, then asked: “Then what am I?”
Though Ping Jiapeng came from a wealthy family and was generally well-mannered in public, being pampered since childhood meant he could be temperamental with those close to him. He had never been even-tempered, and when his expression darkened, Xia Xia knew he was angry.
His anger wasn’t like a sudden storm that passed quickly, but rather like embers that continued to burn after a fire – if no one extinguished them, they would spread into another wildfire.
During their two years together, Xia Xia had witnessed this countless times and had placated him just as often.
But now, Xia Xia had no interest in appeasing him.
She said coolly: “Ex-boyfriend.”
Ping Jiapeng grabbed her wrist and dragged her to the desk, pushing aside the scattered items.
He picked up the photo frame and held it before her eyes with such force that Xia Xia couldn’t help but frown: “Are you crazy?”
The sudden joy on his face was replaced by violent anger. The gentleness that the young man had once carefully preserved was completely gone, and he was like a furious, roaring young lion: “I still keep our photo, and you’re saying your boyfriend is downstairs?”
Xia Xia tried to shake off his hand, but his grip was too strong, like a vice.
Xia Xia stopped struggling. After a moment of calm, she looked up at him: “Is it really that deeply etched in your memory?”
“It’s been so long now, I’m doing very well, and I don’t even see you in my dreams anymore. Why can’t you forget?”
Ping Jiapeng’s voice was hoarse: “How long has it been? Just two years.”
“Just two years?” Xia Xia gave a slight laugh, “Two years have changed many things for me. The world I once didn’t dare to imagine, that only existed in my dreams – now I can see a corner of it. I’ve been working hard every day, and the changes these two years have brought me outweigh my previous eighteen years.”
“Why would you say ‘just two years’?”
Ping Jiapeng’s hair had grown a bit long, his bangs falling to cover his beautiful eyes.
Xia Xia’s gaze swept around the room.
A shoe rack piled with sneakers, scattered manga on the bedside table, a Messi poster on the wall, a dirty soccer ball in the corner and boxes of carbonated drinks, the bookshelf with few books, all covered in dust.
Xia Xia withdrew her gaze and looked at Ping Jiapeng.
She suddenly remembered a spring night when they first got together, when the boy had led her to the rocks where waves crashed on the shore. He had gestured animatedly as he talked about his future and dreams, telling her about watching snow with his family in Hokkaido during winter, about visiting Notre Dame in Paris with his family in summer, about his love for soccer and his dream of becoming the most dazzling player on the field.
The late spring sea breeze brushed against their faces, warm and humid.
The moonlit waves sparkled, and even today she remembered Ping Jiapeng’s confident demeanor and the light in his eyes.
— He was like a prince from a fairy tale, breaking through layers of waves from the distant deep sea, walking towards her on delicate foam, bathed in gentle nightlight, brighter than the moon.
That was Xia Xia’s clearest memory of young Ping Jiapeng.
But looking at him from the same angle now, she found that the boy from before had become so unfamiliar that only his outline remained.
Ping Jiapeng’s complexion was paler than before, probably from staying indoors too long without seeing the sun, carrying an unhealthy pallor.
Xia Xia didn’t comfort him like she used to, and he seemed to realize something. His earlier agitation subsided, and his eyes reddened.
Xia Xia’s gaze passed lightly over him to a corner of the room.
“What you can’t forget was never me.” Xia Xia said, “You say you couldn’t find me, but I never even changed my QQ account.”
“In two years, I haven’t received a single message from you saying you were thinking of me.”
“Is this what you call liking someone – keeping a photo on your desk corner, spending every day playing games, then looking at it to reminisce and feel sorry for yourself?”
Ping Jiapeng hurriedly said: “It’s not like that, my mom deleted my QQ account…”
“Ping Jiapeng.” Xia Xia called his name.
“Your uncle told me you don’t study, sleep late, play games all day, and have already driven away three tutors.” Xia Xia said, “The Ping Jiapeng I knew wasn’t like this. The Ping Jiapeng I knew was excellent, ambitious, gentle, and considerate. He was serious and focused about everything he did, and I had never met a more outstanding boy.”
Xia Xia asked, puzzled: “When did you become like this?”
Xia Xia tried hard to remember but found that the Ping Jiapeng she described existed only as a blurry shadow in her mind.
It seemed that from long ago, so long that she couldn’t remember which month or year, he had gradually changed.
Ping Jiapeng held back his tears, his voice low and hoarse: “Even you say this – do you also think I’m beyond help?”
Xia Xia smiled faintly: “I feel guilty.”
She said gently: “You’re twenty years old now, no longer a child.”
“A twenty-year-old adult knows what they should do.”
The calendar on the desk was torn to September 8th, and Xia Xia looked at it for a moment: “You’ll take the college entrance exam next year, right?”
“Are you going to play games your whole life?” Xia Xia asked, “Or do you want me to live with guilt forever? You couldn’t take the college entrance exam because of me.”
Ping Jiapeng remained silent for a long while before speaking: “I’ve imagined many times how it would be when we met again. I thought you would say many things to me, say you missed me, say you hadn’t forgotten me, or at least tell me how you’ve been these years. I didn’t expect you to come to lecture me.”
“It’s not a lecture.” Xia Xia explained calmly, “I just think that what makes love most touching isn’t so-called devotion and waiting. Its most beautiful aspect is always that both people in love can work hard for their future together, can become better versions of themselves for each other.”
She smiled self-mockingly: “Not only did I fail to do that, I even made you become like this.”
“Maybe your mother was right – us being together was a mistake from the start.”
“This has nothing to do with you!” Ping Jiapeng said impatiently, thin blue veins bulging at his temples, “You say being with me was a mistake, so being with that guy downstairs is right? Being with him lets you become the better self you talk about, you like him that much? Enough to throw away our two years together?”
Xia Xia replied without hesitation, frankly: “Yes, I like him.”
“Whether being with him is right or wrong will only be known in the future, but at least he lets me see what the future looks like.”
Ping Jiapeng raised an eyebrow: “Him? A salesman? Do you know he needs to make money from my uncle? If I don’t like him, one word from me and he won’t get a penny.”
Xia Xia’s calm expression faded, her eyes gradually turning cold.
She remained outwardly composed, but her eyes contained unmistakable anger: “You’re childish.”
“Yes, I’m childish.” Ping Jiapeng didn’t mind being evaluated this way, “You’re not saying this for the first time.”
“Whatever.” Xia Xia lowered her eyes, “Go ahead and do what you want. See if you can affect our relationship, or if you can change my opinion of you.”
She moved past him to pull the door, but Ping Jiapeng grabbed her and wouldn’t let her leave, checking that the door was locked.
Xia Xia suddenly thought of Xie Huai downstairs.
Xie Huai had told her this project was important, and Ping Jiapeng’s uncle was no ordinary person. If the deal went through, the profits would be considerable. Although they weren’t finalizing the contract today, if she rushed down now, Ping Jiapeng would surely chase after her. If he made a scene without regard for consequences, it would affect Xie Huai in one way or another.
“I haven’t finished talking. As long as I’m here, you’re not leaving.”
Ping Jiapeng’s expression was full of unwillingness. Like a mentally ill patient, his emotions were extremely unstable, calm one moment and violent the next. In the struggle, he pulled down Xia Xia’s sleeve, revealing the black strap underneath.
Xia Xia shook off his hand, fixed her clothes, and coldly looked at him blocking the door: “Will you move or not?”
Ping Jiapeng changed tactics and tried to touch her face, his expression softening: “Xia Xia, I think about you every day.”
Xia Xia bit her lip and took out her phone to make a call, but he snatched it away.
Xia Xia raised her arm to block him. She rolled up her blouse sleeves to her elbows, walked back to the bed, opened the floor-to-ceiling window, and went to the balcony.
Staying in the same room any longer, who knew what inappropriate things he might do? Below was an endless vista of emerald lakes and mountains. Xia Xia climbed over the railing and jumped down.
“Xia Xia—”
Ping Jiapeng ran to the balcony.
The lake was shallow. Xia Xia stood up from the water and made her way to shore using the steps at the bottom of the lake.
She walked straight toward the community entrance.
Ping Jiapeng jumped down after her, caught up with her, and persistently grabbed her.
Xie Huai’s teacup was empty, and Li Jiamin refilled it for him.
“You’re only a junior in college?” The man’s eyes were full of admiration, “Interested in developing your career here?”
“We both know Xu Dalong won’t go far. You’re so young with unlimited potential – working for him is a waste of your talent.”
Xie Huai smiled politely: “Thank you, Manager Li, but I don’t have plans to change jobs at the moment. Brother Xu helped me a lot when I had no experience. Now that I’ve learned some of the industry’s ways, I can’t just leave, don’t you agree?”
“What about the future?” Li Jiamin smiled, “Someone like you surely doesn’t want to work under Xu Dalong forever?”
“I might consider starting my own business after graduation, but that’s still far off.” Xie Huai said, “Just doing well in the present is challenging enough.”
His manners and speech were almost impeccable.
Li Jiamin smiled: “If my nephew had half your maturity, I’d be burning incense in thanks.”
Just as he finished speaking, the front door opened from outside, and a dripping-wet Ping Jiapeng entered.
Li Jiamin: “…Weren’t you studying upstairs?”
Ping Jiapeng walked slowly, water dripping from his entire body, green waterweeds still stuck in his hair.
He stopped as he passed Xie Huai, the hostility in his eyes intense enough to shred the air.
Xie Huai instantly received the message that the gaze conveyed.
His eyes swept over Ping Jiapeng’s entire body as he heard the boy ask in a confrontational tone: “What’s your name?”
Xie Huai looked back upstairs in the direction where Xia Xia had gone earlier.
Li Jiamin asked: “Where’s the teacher?”
Ping Jiapeng didn’t answer. He ran upstairs to get a bath towel, then ran out again.
Xie Huai sensed something was wrong and stood up: “I’ll go check.”
Although the September weather was still warm, Xia Xia was shivering from her sudden plunge into the water.
She hugged her arms as she walked along the community’s winding cobblestone path. Ping Jiapeng ran out, trying to put the bath towel around her.
Xia Xia dodged his outstretched hand and said impatiently: “Are you done?”
“Can you stop being difficult?” Ping Jiapeng said, “You’re soaking wet – still trying to be stubborn?”
Xia Xia ignored him. Ping Jiapeng’s eyes were bloodshot: “I didn’t say anything when I saw him. I didn’t say a word that would affect his business with my uncle. Are you satisfied now?”
Xia Xia turned her head to see Li Jiamin and Xie Huai coming from the front door.
Xie Huai’s expression was unreadable. As he passed Ping Jiapeng, he snatched the towel and wrapped Xia Xia in a tight embrace.
Xia Xia was completely soaked, but her tense nerves relaxed slightly.
Wrapped in the dry towel, her body stopped shaking. She nestled into Xie Huai’s embrace like a spoiled child, like a pitiful little dog that had fallen into the water.
Xie Huai’s hand around her waist was steady and strong. She heard him speak in a cold voice:
“Manager Li, I need an explanation.”