Old Madam Luo sat upright in the small Buddhist shrine, reciting sutras.
The shrine was exceptionally serene. A massive yellow banyan tree, its trunk as thick as two people’s embrace, shaded half the courtyard. Ascending the steps, one could glimpse a small lotus pond through the latticed windows. It was the season of withering lotus leaves. Weak sunlight filtered through the banyan’s branches, dappling the bluestone slabs.
Inside the shrine, incense smoke wafted. A golden statue of Shakyamuni Buddha graced the altar. Old Madam Luo knelt on a cushion, eyes closed, hands pressed together in prayer.
Zheng Mama approached.
Old Madam Luo opened her eyes and said calmly, “Xu Mama, close the door.”
She allowed Zheng Mama to help her up and settle into a nearby armchair, gesturing for Zheng Mama to sit as well. Fingering her prayer beads, she spoke with detachment: “I had hoped you’d change your mind. I didn’t expect such resolve from you.”
Zheng Mama remained silent.
Old Madam Luo spoke softly, “I’ve always wondered why you told Yining your departure was to protect her.”
Zheng Mama’s head snapped up. How did Old Madam know? She began, “Old Madam, I—”
Old Madam Luo shook her head, signaling her to wait. She continued, “Many things puzzle me. Minlan was always healthy; how could she die of heartbreak? After her death, all her servants left—two senior maids married off to Shandong, and you returned to Baoding. Only Hui’er and Yining remained. Hui’er was just eleven then. Such cruelty…”
“But now I see differently,” she went on. “You raised Qingqu, yet her temperament is so unlike yours. You adore her, even teaching her your medical skills personally. If you truly hardened your heart against Yining, how could you leave Qingqu behind?”
Zheng Mama’s hands clenched tightly within her sleeves.
She replied coolly, “Old Madam, why dwell on these matters…”
“How can I not?” Old Madam Luo’s tone sharpened, tears glimmering in her eyes. “Today is Minlan’s death anniversary. I arranged her marriage to Chengzhang. Gu Old Madam entrusted me with her only daughter, their family’s treasure. She begged me not to let Minlan suffer. I promised, yet look how Chengzhang treated her after the wedding. I’ve carried this guilt for years. How much longer will I live? If you keep concealing the truth, will you let me die with this burden?”
Her agitation brought on a fit of coughing.
Since Yining’s accident, these past months had drained her. Everyone had disappointed her—Luo Chengzhang, Chen Shi, Zheng Mama. Old Madam Luo felt her vitality rapidly ebbing; she didn’t know how much longer she could endure.
“You want to protect Yining? Don’t you think I do too?” Old Madam Luo said. “Minlan died when Yining was just six months old. I raised her myself. When she nearly drowned a few months ago, I thought I’d die with her. Yining’s just a child. Without my protection all these years, how could she and Lin Hairu have stood against Concubine Qiao? You claim to protect her, but where were you when she almost died? Where were you when she cried out in fever?”
She stared at Zheng Mama. “I’ve guessed and guessed, and it all comes back to Yining. Minlan is gone; you must be leaving because of Yining. Tell me, am I right?”
Zheng Mama’s eyes welled with tears. She grasped Old Madam Luo’s hands, her voice urgent: “Old Madam! My heart aches, but I had no choice! You’ve loved the young miss for so many years; how could I speak of this?”
Old Madam Luo froze.
“How much do you love her?” Zheng Mama continued. “Would you love another child this way?”
Old Madam Luo gazed at Zheng Mama, drawing a deep breath. She seemed to sense what Zheng Mama was about to reveal.
It was too absurd; she had never dared to guess.
“Since you insist on knowing, I’ll tell you,” Zheng Mama wiped her tears. “Even if you reject the young miss immediately, what of it?”
Zheng Mama appeared to have made a sudden decision.
“If you reject her, I’ll take her back to Baoding. She may not have the Luo family’s luxuries, but it’s a decent household. She could marry a local gentry’s son and live peacefully. She’s the Second Madam’s child; I won’t abandon her…”
“Zheng Rong!” Old Madam Luo interrupted, using Zheng Mama’s given name for the first time. She gripped Zheng Mama’s hand, her lips trembling. “What… what do you mean? Why would I reject Mei’er?”
Zheng Mama took a deep breath and stood straight.
“I intended to take this to my grave, but now that I’ve told you, Old Madam, my heart is clear,” Zheng Mama said. “Do you remember when the Sixth Miss turned one, and the Second Madam gifted her two little maids?”
Old Madam Luo’s grip didn’t loosen. Zheng Mama continued: “Later, bruises were found on the Sixth Miss. Concubine Qiao brought her to you, crying, blaming those two maids. The Second Master was furious, and you, hearing Concubine Qiao’s words, even grew suspicious of the Second Madam. Seeing your doubt, the Second Madam personally sold off those maids, heartbroken, and retreated to a temple again…”
Old Madam Luo’s body stiffened.
“The temple was usually quiet, but that night, an intruder came. We didn’t know who he was, only that he was skilled in martial arts and quite handsome. He abducted the Second Madam,” Zheng Mama’s tone grew calmer as she recounted the past. “At that time, most of the Luo family guards were assigned to the main branch and Concubine Qiao. We only had three guards at the temple, no match for this man. He said he just needed to borrow the Second Madam and wouldn’t harm her.”
“True to his word, he returned her after half a month. We dared not linger and hurried back with the madam. She seemed fine then…” Zheng Mama smiled bitterly. “But a few months later, the Second Madam was with child. We were just happy about her pregnancy, unaware of its true nature.”
“The Second Madam grew increasingly melancholic, unable to eat or sleep well, falling into depression,” Zheng Mama said slowly, watching Old Madam Luo’s face pale. “Only after my repeated inquiries did she reveal the truth. She said she had no intention of living on… except for the child she carried. How could an innocent baby follow its mother in death? That would be too cruel.”
Old Madam Luo closed her eyes.
“After the child’s birth, the Second Madam’s condition worsened. Guilt-ridden and despairing of the Second Master, she passed away. Those of us who knew the truth requested to leave the Luo family. As long as we stayed silent, no one would ever know. Mei’er would remain a Luo family young miss, living well. No one would look down on her, and no one would hurt Minlan again…”
Zheng Mama looked directly at Old Madam Luo, having finally spoken her piece.
Old Madam Luo trembled, tears streaming down her wrinkled face. “I’m to blame… You should resent me! You should resent me.”
She had always thought Luo Chengzhang was most at fault for Minlan’s suffering, but how was she any better?
She had promised Gu Old Madam to care for Minlan, yet Minlan’s life in the Luo family had been far from good.
“Old Madam, if you no longer want Yining, I’ll take her away immediately,” Zheng Mama said finally.
Old Madam Luo raised her head, enunciating each word: “Yining is the child I raised, my granddaughter. You may not take her away. You leave, go as far as you can, and never return.”
The Luo family owed Minlan; Yining would remain a Luo family young miss. Who dared say otherwise?
Yining was her granddaughter. If not for her and Luo Chengzhang, how could such a tragedy have occurred?
Zheng Mama took a deep breath. She had been gambling, after all. Old Madam Luo need not have known this, but seeing her love for Yining, Zheng Mama suddenly changed her mind and revealed everything.
She had never truly intended to take Yining away. The Luo family had wronged Minlan, but why should Yining leave? Taking her to a farmstead would only harm her. Minlan’s dowry remained with the second branch, and her elder sister was still here. She shouldn’t leave.
Zheng Mama said softly, “I’ll leave Qingqu behind. She’s the most straightforward person. She returns kindness tenfold, and besides, she knows nothing… Old Madam, I truly take my leave now. Please don’t try to stop me again.”
She bowed and withdrew.
Old Madam Luo stood, watching Zheng Mama exit the shrine.
She gazed at the Buddha statue, its face bearing a compassionate and pitying smile. Suddenly, she felt breathless. She had thought… thought she was blameless… Old Madam Luo couldn’t help but kneel on the cushion, sobbing brokenly, her voice hoarse: “Minlan, you should blame me! You should blame me…”
She had always thought herself formidable, having raised two sons who became jinshi scholars. Who knew that in her old age, she would become so muddled? Was this the Luo family she had wanted? Who could she face now?
Kneeling on the cushion, Old Madam Luo suddenly felt a sharp pain in her head, her vision blurring. She tried to stand, grasping a pillar, but lost control and collapsed after two steps.
The maid outside, hearing the commotion, hurriedly pushed open the door. Seeing Old Madam Luo on the ground, she rushed to help, terrified.
“Old Madam! Are you alright?” Seeing that Old Madam Luo couldn’t be moved and was staring blankly ahead, not speaking, the maid’s hands and feet turned cold, her voice changing as she shouted towards the door, “Xu Mama, come quickly! Old Madam has fallen!”