“But—”

“There are no ‘buts.’ One can only say this child has come at the wrong time.” Yan Qing’s gaze fell quietly and lingeringly downward, and one hand rested gently upon her abdomen. “At a time like this, I cannot even protect myself — what ability do I have to protect him? I am not a qualified mother. I owe him an apology. If there is still a chance, I hope he can be reborn and find his way back here — so long as he does not despise my incompetence.”

“Miss, don’t say such things.” Murong wept as she spoke. “Miss has already tried so hard. The blame falls entirely on the Second Young Master for being so ruthless, and on this world for being so unjust — good people do not live long, while wicked people run rampant.”

Yan Qing gave a bitter smile: “We were born into this era, but let us not resent it. If we cannot change it, then we can only adapt to it.”

“Miss, the water is here.” Along with Jing Zhi’s voice came another discordant sound cutting in.

“Go in and see whether Young Madam is ready.”

The voice belonged to Shi Guang.

Murong and Jing Zhi both stiffened at once and instinctively moved to shield Yan Qing behind them.

Yan Qing knew that what had to come would always come. She could not let the people around her risk their lives for her again — Er Dan was already wounded as it was. She would not allow Murong and the others to come to harm.

Furthermore, there were still Er Yitai and Dihuai and the others. The fates of all these people were held in Shi Guang’s hands, their lives or deaths decided by his passing thought.

Right now, Shi Ting’s life or death was uncertain. Perhaps it was truly as Shi Guang had said — that he was surrounded by the Xi Nan Army. Without him there, the only thing she could do was use every ounce of strength she had to keep these people safe.

When she had first learned she was pregnant, her joy had been beyond words. But now she felt regret. If she could have chosen otherwise, she truly would not have wished for the child to come into their world at this time.

She could not protect him. She was not a good mother.

Yan Qing dissolved the medicinal powder in water and fed it to Er Dan. Jiangguo, watching Er Dan drink the medicine, made a soft, mournful sound.

“Miss, the Second Young Master said the Commander has been trapped. Is it true?”

Er Dan drank the medicine and then closed its eyes tightly. The courtyard was very quiet, with only the sound of footsteps outside never ceasing.

The mistress and her two maids kept watch over a tiger and a dog, wrapped in a low, clinging atmosphere of sorrow and bewilderment.

Yan Qing said: “Regarding what Shi Guang says, we can only half-believe it. That he has joined forces with Lei Li of the Xi Nan Army is true — whether or not Shi Ting has truly been trapped, that is harder to guess.”

“I trust that the Commander is blessed with good fortune, and moreover that he is wise and farsighted with a broad view of affairs. He would not fall so easily into someone else’s trap.” Jing Zhi’s words were partly meant to comfort Yan Qing, and more than that, born of her own trust in Shi Ting.

Yan Qing shared her way of thinking. She believed Shi Ting would not so easily fall into such a scheme.

The area around Changsheng Bridge was closest to Taishan County. If he did not return to Shun Cheng, he would likely go to Taishan to seek the help of Li Yongqi. With Li Yongqi’s Li Family Army, it would not be so easy for Lei Li to continue expanding northward into Bei Di.

Her only hope right now was that he could make it safely to Taishan. As for everything else, she could only take it one step at a time.

He was not a god — he could not account for every contingency. She only prayed she would not hold him back, only prayed for his safety.

The room was warm, but no one’s heart felt as warm as the air inside.

Er Dan’s medicine contained a sedative component, and it had already fallen asleep. Jiangguo lay at its side, its eyes also gently closed.

“Miss, why don’t you sleep a little while?” Jing Zhi said with concern. “Your color isn’t looking well.”

Yan Qing was just about to speak when Jiangguo, which had had its eyes closed, suddenly lifted its head. Then it let out a low, warning bark aimed at the direction of the gate.

Yan Qing knew Jiangguo had heard footsteps, and that whoever was coming meant no good.

She pressed her hand gently on Jiangguo’s head and cautioned it: “Jiangguo, don’t act rashly. We cannot overcome them.”

She had no doubt that Jiangguo would rush out just as Er Dan had done — but that was no different from a death sentence, and she did not want to see anyone beside her, not even an animal, get hurt again.

Jiangguo let out two soft whimpers and lowered its head.

Yan Qing gently patted its head and gestured for Jing Zhi to go outside and take a look.

Before Jing Zhi had even walked to the door, the footsteps had already reached the courtyard. She had just stretched out her hand when the door was pushed open, and a gust of cold air from outside swept in along with it.

Jiangguo rose from the ground and directed a warning bark at the entrance, its eyes glaring fiercely in that direction.

Yet in Shi Guang’s eyes, he could not be bothered with a dog. And he knew that at this point, Yan Qing would not let these animals charge forward and court death again. The dog was only posturing to intimidate.

“The tiger still hasn’t died?” Shi Guang looked at the white tiger lying beside the bed. Its eyes were closed, but its chest still rose and fell.

Thinking of being pinned to the ground by this white tiger earlier today, that feeling of terror had still not entirely faded — though he had no time right now to settle scores with a beast.

“Yan Qing, I trust you have thought matters through clearly,” Shi Guang said, his expression even and his tone quite calm. “You are so intelligent — you should have seen the shape of things long ago. In this situation, if you continue to resist, you will only drag down the people around you. That is surely not an outcome you wish to see, is it?”

Yan Qing gave a cold laugh. Murong saw that she was about to rise and hurried forward to help her.

Under Shi Guang’s watchful gaze, Yan Qing walked with composed steps to stand before him, meeting his eyes with not the slightest trace of fear.

“Shi Guang, I can drink this medicine of yours — but I have one condition.”

Shi Guang smiled slightly: “Yan Qing, do you still have any bargaining chips with which to negotiate conditions with me?”

“Naturally I do.” Yan Qing returned him a cold smile: “Before you came, I had already swallowed poison. If you do not agree to my condition, all you can do is wait for a corpse.”

“You—” Shi Guang frowned. “You are so cruel to yourself?”

“What poison I have swallowed, you do not know — and the antidote is known only to me. So I can drink this bowl of medicine, but you must also agree to one thing.”

Shi Guang narrowed his eyes: “Speak.”

“Bring my mother here. I must know she is unharmed. The people by my side — you may not touch a single one of them.”

“Very well.” Shi Guang agreed without hesitation.

Yan Qing had no wish to say more to him and extended her hand: “The medicine — bring it.”

“Miss.”

“Miss.”

Murong and Jing Zhi saw this and immediately both dropped to their knees. They knew they could no longer change Yan Qing’s mind, and in this situation, no one could change anything.

Shi Guang saw the resolute look in her eyes, and something inside him wavered: “Have you decided?”

“Do I have the right to choose?” Yan Qing smiled coldly. “Shi Guang, there’s no need for false kindness at a time like this.”

“Yan Qing, do you truly feel nothing for me? I have liked you for so long — can you not see even a little sincerity?”

“Sincerity?” Yan Qing let out a scornful laugh. “Shi Guang, ask yourself honestly how much sincerity you truly possess. You have done nothing more than develop an obsession over never being able to obtain something. You have never truly fallen in love with anyone. The one you have always loved is yourself.”

Shi Guang looked at her, said nothing, and made a gesture to the doctor behind him.

The doctor quickly stepped forward and, holding the bowl of medicine with great deference, said: “Young Madam, please.”

Yan Qing took the bowl. The medicinal liquid inside gave off an unpleasant smell, one that made her stomach turn.

“Miss.” Jing Zhi and Murong were already weeping.

Yan Qing gazed at the liquid in the bowl and silently said “I’m sorry” within her heart.

She hoped that little life could hear her apology. She did not expect his forgiveness — she only wanted to tell him she was sorry.

The greatest failure of a mother is not having the ability to protect her child. She was apologizing for her own inadequacy.

Yan Qing raised the medicine to her lips and closed her eyes gently.

Shi Guang watched her, a glint of something passing through his eyes. He did not know what he was so pleased about — only that this scene before him made him feel as though he had destroyed everything he despised and obtained everything he desired.

He could hold the world in a single hand. He could bring all people under his control. No one would ever dare to defy him again. He would be the king of Bei Di.

The moment the medicinal liquid just touched her lips, urgent footsteps suddenly sounded from outside, and then someone came rushing in with a report.

“Second Young Master, it’s bad — someone has attacked.”

“Who?” Shi Guang turned around, his brow knitting sharply. “Which unit?”

Liu Qingnian’s unit was not in Shun Cheng. He had already placed a tight seal on the city gates, and the only force inside the city that could check him was Shun Cheng’s garrison army. However, the garrison’s strength was limited, and he had also won over several of their commanders — more than half of them were now under his command.

Any force capable of threatening him inside Shun Cheng was barely worth mentioning.

“The city gate has fallen,” the man reported, sweat streaming down his face in urgency. “The men posted outside the Shi Mansion have all been wiped out.”

Shi Guang’s expression changed drastically: “Something this significant happened — why was I not informed immediately?”

The men outside the Shi Mansion had been cleared, yet he had received no word at once. So many men had been taken down without the slightest disturbance — that was impossible.

Shi Guang could no longer spare a thought for Yan Qing and strode out of the courtyard in great haste.

The moment Shi Guang was gone, Murong and Jing Zhi jumped to their feet.

Murong snatched the bowl from Yan Qing’s hand and threw it aside, while Jing Zhi rushed forward anxiously: “Miss, did you drink any? How much?”

“Only one mouthful — I can spit it out.” As she spoke, Yan Qing walked quickly to the washroom and spat the medicine out.

Jing Zhi brought warm water and had her drink a great deal of it.

“Thank heaven and earth.” Jing Zhi pressed her palms together. “It’s a blessing Miss only drank one mouthful. The doctor said the medicine was gentle — one mouthful should not cause any harm, especially since Miss brought it up again.”

Yan Qing said: “Go quickly and see — what sort of people have surrounded the Shi Mansion?”

“Miss, who do you think it might be? Could it be Commander Liu Qingnian?”

“Commander Liu’s unit left the city long ago. Though it’s not impossible that they’ve returned by now.” Yan Qing murmured to herself: “But for these people to have cleared Shi Guang’s men outside without raising any alarm — that’s no small feat either.”