Living day-to-day amidst the warmth and smoke of ordinary life with Chu Linlang had its own savor, yet the longer it went on, the more a man felt something was missing.
It was not until he spent time with Miss Yin that he finally understood — what was missing was this kind of kindred spirit, this refined and elegant pleasure of shared taste.
In Zhou Sui’an’s view, to connect through poetry — how could that be called a private entanglement between a man and a woman? Even if he and Miss Yin had afterward occasionally exchanged letters, they were nothing but exchanges of verses, the purely elevated friendship of kindred literary souls.
As for the intentions of both families’ elders — that was for the parents to decide. What did it have to do with him, whose conscience was entirely clear?
And to explain such a literary high-minded friendship to a woman who understood nothing of letters — that was genuinely rather tiresome.
At this thought, the unease Zhou Sui’an had felt earlier inexplicably dissolved: “What do you mean by that? I am run ragged with official duties all day, and I have to clean up your messes on top of it all — what leisure do I have for schemes and intentions?”
Chu Linlang at this moment was left with nothing but the frustration of having been kept in the dark — so it wasn’t merely that her mother-in-law had taken a liking to someone, but that Zhou Sui’an himself could not let go of his old flame and wished to rekindle what once was.
At this thought, tears welled at the corners of her eyes, and she glared at Zhou Sui’an in silence.
Though Chu Linlang was naturally delicate-looking and cool in beauty, she was in her day-to-day manner always one to greet people with a smile, and rarely given to mourning the spring or grieving the autumn. Zhou Sui’an couldn’t even remember when the last time she had cried was.
Zhou Sui’an was, for the most part, deeply attached to Linlang. Seeing her show this rare vulnerability and shed tears, he felt a pang of tenderness and could not stop himself from drawing her into his arms and patting her on the back: “It was merely Mother reconnecting with an old friend — why must you make such a scene over it?”
Chu Linlang, seeing that Zhou Sui’an wouldn’t acknowledge it, chose not to press further, and only raised her head to look directly into his eyes: “What Mother intends — do you truly not know? I went to the temple to consult the oracle — the high monk said that I am fated to have two sons and two daughters, enough to make two ‘good’ characters. I have just sought out a new prescription for nurturing my health. Are you truly in such a hurry? Can you not give me a bit more time?”
Zhou Sui’an most disliked Chu Linlang’s faith in these supernatural and superstitious things. Hearing this, he became somewhat impatient: “You ought to have some sympathy for Mother as well. She is constantly asked about the children in this household, and it weighs on her. She is acting in desperation, like a sick person trying any remedy. As for her intentions — I will simply decline, and that will be that. But what is your attitude about all this? You were nearly ready to overturn the table and storm out just now!”
If it had been a few years earlier, hearing her husband say he would decline would have filled Chu Linlang’s heart with warm tenderness.
But now, having been worn down by several rounds of failed attempts to conceive, she could hear it — Zhou Sui’an’s “declining” carried within it a trace of reluctance and resignation.
Chu Linlang was silent for a moment, dried her tears, drew a deep breath, and decided not to continue entangling herself in the matter of Yin Xuefang. She spoke plainly and without elaboration: “If Mother truly insists on taking a concubine for you, as a daughter-in-law I have no power to object — but… it cannot be Yin Xuefang!”
Zhou Sui’an frowned slightly and looked at Chu Linlang as though she were being unreasonable: “Miss Yin has done nothing to offend you in word or deed. Why do you slander her like this?”
The entire family had already made up their minds, yet they had only kept it from her alone. The two of them had met privately and exchanged letters, yet here Zhou Sui’an was, asking what had Miss Yin done to offend her.
It was simply that she was jealous and intolerant — she couldn’t bear to watch him make eyes at another woman right before her face and compose verses to her as if she were the mother of heaven and earth.
At this thought, she glared at Zhou Sui’an: “I originally thought it was merely Mother who had taken a liking to her on her own initiative — that much I might have endured. But now it is plain to see that the Yin family is in a rush to find their daughter a next match, and have actively come forward to rekindle their old ties with the Zhou family. I simply want to ask: if you two were so made for each other, why was there no conclusion to it the first time?”
Zhou Sui’an was taken aback. He was eight years older than Yin Xuefang, and it seemed the two families had indeed once discussed a childhood betrothal — but when his father ran into trouble, of course there had been no further word of it.
He said nothing, but Chu Linlang had already pieced together the general picture from the scattered words she’d overheard in conversation between her mother-in-law and Madam Yin: “Was it not because the Zhou family fell into misfortune at the time — your father-in-law was implicated in a lawsuit and lost his post — and they wanted nothing more than to stay well away? When I first married into this family and the days were utterly miserable, no one came sending their daughter to visit. Now that the hard years are finally over and you hold the rank of Vice Prefect, suddenly they come around renewing their sisterly friendship. What — now that the Zhou family’s circumstances have improved, it’s enough to fill the Yin family’s shortage? Lord Zhou, you are remarkably forgiving! If you have such breadth of heart, why is it that you can’t let go of the matter with Zhang Xian and refuse to soften even a little?”
Thinking of how she had painstakingly urged Zhou Sui’an to go and apologize in person, and how he had remained as stubborn as an ox and refused to yield — Chu Linlang’s fury surged from yet another direction.
Zhou Sui’an could not match Chu Linlang in argument. After several exchanges he was hard-pressed to defend himself, and she had succeeded in stirring up all the helpless fury of the Zhou family’s days of hardship and doors slammed in their faces.
At the time, the Yin family had indeed used the excuse of a return trip to their hometown to make themselves scarce and avoid him, his widowed mother, and their orphaned situation.
In an instant, all the bitterness and indignation of those past hardships surged up together, and he suddenly stood, his tone impatient: “Though you have not studied, you at least understand reason. To be jealous and petty over things with no beginning and no end, and to drag public affairs into it as well — if you are not ashamed, I am not willing to stand here and take this. These baseless ravings of yours — go tell them to Mother. I have official duties to attend to, and I will be spending the night in the study tonight!”
With that, he walked out the door without looking back.
Zhou Sui’an had always been like this — he was never in the wrong.
If he found himself losing an argument, he would assume the air of a gentleman who does not stoop to quarrel with a woman and retreat to the study to sleep. Afterward, it would be Chu Linlang who had to lower herself, offer him her apologies, and only then could she invite this exalted figure to deign to return.
This time was no exception — he struck first by retreating to the study, escaping the tedious domestic entanglements.
Chu Linlang made no move to stop him. She simply tossed aside the needlework she had in her hands, pushed open the window, and grabbed a fistful of snow to shove into her mouth.
And Xia He and Dongxue had already returned from the kitchen while the two were still arguing.
Xia He was the daughter of a worker on the Chu family’s salt boats, and before she became Chu Linlang’s personal maid, she had grown up alongside Linlang, so naturally she understood Linlang’s temperament well.
She quickly grabbed a thick padded robe to drape over Chu Linlang’s shoulders, knocked the snow from her hands, and shut the window, saying: “Wind this hard — you mustn’t indulge in the cold… If you feel heat burning in your chest, I’ll have the kitchen make a bowl of tangerine fruit broth later to cool it down… A grown woman eating snow! Have you forgotten what it’s like to have an upset stomach?”
Chu Linlang leaned into Xia He’s embrace, nestling against her shoulder, and said softly: “I always thought that once I married and left the Chu family, I could shut the door and live my own peaceful life. But after all this struggle and effort to get here, it seems nothing has changed very much — there is still so much that is not in my hands. Xia He… do you think I am too greedy? That I want too much?”
Xia He held her close with tender concern, and dropped the formal form of address, whispering softly: “How can you say such a thing? Didn’t you say yourself that we are so much better off now than before? When I was almost betrothed by my own father to an old cripple, if you hadn’t purchased me from him when you left your family to marry, my whole life would have been that half-dead, wretched existence. It’s only a quarrel with the master — how can you lose heart so completely over this?”
Chu Linlang laughed at herself bitterly. Having swallowed a mouthful of cold snow, she seemed to have settled her emotions somewhat, and said: “It just snowed — that study must be bitterly cold. Send a brazier over to the study, so Sui’an doesn’t catch a chill.”
On one side, Dongxue gave a cold snort: “With guests in the house, the master chooses to sleep in the study — isn’t that plainly humiliating our First Mistress in front of others? Let him freeze a little — better than letting him take up permanent residence in the study like a mouse making a nest and never coming out!”
Dongxue and Xia He differed from each other: Dongxue had been purchased by Chu Linlang from a peasant family. Though her background was poor, she had been cherished by her parents, was bound by a ten-year contract, and after a few more years would leave the household with a respectable dowry and marry well. Her nature was straightforward, and her words were somewhat bolder than Xia He’s.
Chu Linlang was tickled by Dongxue’s words and tapped her lightly on the forehead.
In the end the brazier was never sent, and Chu Linlang went herself to the study in person. Because Dongxue had been right — even if Zhou Sui’an wanted to throw a tantrum and pull a long face, this was not the moment for it.
He Zhou Sui’an had his face to protect — did she, Chu Linlang, have no face at all? Was hers a soles-of-shoes face, for people to step on as they pleased?
Once in the study, Chu Linlang was not at all indirect, telling Zhou Sui’an plainly that there were guests in the house, and if he was determined to humiliate her, he might as well just write out the letter of divorce then and there — she would take it and go without a moment’s hesitation, and would not dare delay him from marrying his childhood sweetheart.
Otherwise, he might as well go straight back to their room and save a brazier’s worth of charcoal — last time he had struck Zhang Xian with a riding switch, that riding switch man had extorted them, and it had cost their household a full fifty taels in medical compensation. With the household running on a tight budget, there was no room for extravagance.
Zhou Sui’an had retreated to the study largely because he felt guilty from being pressed with questions. He knew Chu Linlang’s temperament — she meant what she said. If things truly fell apart and became a public disgrace, there would be no way to recover.
Chu Linlang offered him a way down, and he took it with ill grace, following behind Chu Linlang and slinking back to their room.
Yet that night, the husband and wife lay back to back without a word spoken between them, each quietly nursing their own separate resentment.
Zhao Shi had originally planned to speak with Zhou Sui’an the following day and make arrangements to open the ancestral hall and add Yin Xuefang’s name to the Zhou family genealogy.
But she had just started when Zhou Sui’an cut her off.
Zhao Shi, hearing her son suddenly refuse so firmly, became anxious: “What has gotten into you? Did you not agree to take a concubine?”
Zhou Sui’an was somewhat impatient: “When did I ever agree? You have been acting on your own the whole time! Right now I am occupied with official duties — the Sixth Prince has come to the prefecture, so how would I have the mind to deal with matters of the inner household? Linlang now suspects I have been secretly exchanging sentiments with Miss Yin — if you raise this now, won’t it seem to confirm her suspicions?”
Zhao Shi hated nothing more than her daughter-in-law holding her son under her thumb, and now watching Zhou Sui’an about to change his position, she slammed the table in fury: “Even if the Emperor himself came here in person, there would be no reason to interfere with ordinary people’s marriages! And what if the divination does come true? She cannot bear children herself, and she would cut off the Zhou family line?”
Zhou Sui’an recalled what Chu Linlang had said, and repeated it flatly in a low voice: “If the Yin family thought so highly of me, where were they before? Did they not simply see that I had made something of myself as an official, and come to attach themselves for free? I, Zhou Sui’an, since I could not have them offer help in the snow and cold, have no need for their embellishments in fair weather either. In my view, Mother, do not raise the matter again…”
Zhao Shi felt certain her son could not have come out with such a roundabout argument on his own, and was convinced Chu Linlang had been putting words in his mouth. Immediately furious, she snapped: “What do you know! The Yin family at the time had genuinely gone back to their hometown. By the time they returned, Madam Liu had fallen ill for a spell and had quite enough to deal with on her own. You are now a Vice Prefect, it’s true, but your position is not yet stable. That Yin gentleman may be only a minor clerk, but his brother-in-law on his wife’s side holds a post in the capital’s offices. With such a connection, it would be of great benefit to you in future!”
Zhou Sui’an, hearing these words, felt them grate on his nerves. He had always held himself to a certain standard of pride and had an especial distaste for this kind of connections made through family ties and backdoor relationships. He sighed despite himself: “All right, Mother — you are always at odds with Linlang. Her family only dealt in salt — they were no mountain bandits or highway robbers. Why treat her with such contempt? Besides, she said she will not stand in the way of you taking a concubine. If you truly insist, she will take it upon herself to choose someone — she will not truly let the Zhou family line die out.”
In truth, this second half was something Zhou Sui’an had fabricated.
That wife of his was far too jealous — the sort of talk about willingly accepting a concubine was something only a wandering soul possessing someone else’s body could manage to say.
He said this partly to placate his mother and keep her from making him the man caught in the middle any longer.