Some distance away, inside Simply Sweet, Xiaoxi and Tongtong leaned over the counter, whispering to each other. “Is that really Ningning’s boyfriend?”

Tongtong thought it over for a moment. “He definitely can’t be her little brother.” Just as she said this, she pointed excitedly. “Look, look over there, they’re kissing, damn.”

…

…

A pause, then Feng Ning laughed lightly. “Oh? What do you want to do to me?”

Her gaze dropped several inches; one hand made a move as if to reach downward. Jiang Wen’s expression stiffened, and he blocked her hand, flustered.

Feng Ning teased him slowly, “What, having a reaction?”

“You…” Jiang Wen’s expression cycled through emotions, flustered and flushed red from the teasing, taking a deep breath. “Are you even a girl?”

Feng Ning pinched his cheek. “You little kid, with this little skill you’re already trying dirty talk like other people?”

“I’m not a kid.” Jiang Wen repeated. “Don’t treat me like a kid, I’m a—” He stumbled a bit for words, looking away, “a man.”

Feng Ning stood up from him, stroking her chin, sizing up the lean, delicate young man before her.

With his arms suddenly empty, Jiang Wen felt a faint sense of loss, his fingers curling slightly, wanting to pull her back.

Feng Ning said, laughing, “A man? Look at that baby face of yours, I keep getting the feeling I’m corrupting a minor.”

Jiang Wen hummed, his throat dry. “Didn’t you already corrupt me?”

Feng Ning, a bit exasperated, “Weren’t you the one who fell for me at first sight? How did that turn into me corrupting you?”

“……”

When it was time to clock off, Feng Ning had Jiang Wen wait a moment. The instant she stepped back into Simply Sweet, she was surrounded. The two girls followed her all the way to the changing room.

Watching Feng Ning change, Xiaoxi hung off the doorframe, pressing her, “Ning-zai, where’d you reel in such a solid catch?”

She mumbled vaguely, “Picked him up off the street on a rainy day.”

Xiaoxi was both envious and worried. “Then you’d better be careful — good-looking guys are always fickle, who knows when you’ll end up wearing a green hat.”

Feng Ning shut her locker, grabbed her keys, and chuckled silently to herself.

…

With a couple of beeps, the pink electric scooter unlocked. Feng Ning called out to Jiang Wen, “Come here, know how to ride?”

Jiang Wen shook his head.

“Then I’ll give you a ride.”

Seeing his hesitation, Feng Ning tilted her head, urging him. “Hurry up and get on.”

Once he was seated behind her, she planted her feet on the footboard and shot off. “Let’s go!”

The summer night breeze felt cool against her skin. Feng Ning said, “How do you not even know how to ride an electric scooter — do you know how to ride a bike at least?”

“No.”

“Underdeveloped cerebellum, huh.”

Feng Ning laughed lightly, and said offhandedly, “Take the bus back to school yourself later. I need to get home and go to sleep — early shift tomorrow. As for you, with your studies this intense right now, don’t keep running over to see me all the time. Focus on school, don’t let your mind wander, got it?”

At a red light, Feng Ning glanced back casually. She’d always been good at reading people’s expressions; even a casual glance caught someone’s low mood right away. She said, “What, are you upset?”

After a delay, Jiang Wen’s voice came, barely audible. “Do you really like me? You don’t seem to want to see me at all.”

Unlike him, whose mind was always full of her the moment he had free time.

Even when he had no free time, his mind was still full of her.

Feng Ning sighed inwardly. “How could I be faking it? This is just a rough patch — you’re busy, I’m busy too.”

Jiang Wen said, expression unreadable, “I think you’re just… because…”

Before he could finish, Feng Ning finished it for him: “Because you stayed with me when I… went through something.” Subconsciously, she still resisted bringing up Qi Lan directly, pausing a few seconds before continuing, “and I softened and agreed to be with you?”

Even though he’d been thinking exactly that, Jiang Wen still felt a bit gloomy hearing her say it outright.

“I’m pretty shallow when it comes to relationships too, honestly. I just couldn’t resist your face, got a little smitten.”

Feng Ning’s voice drifted over mixed with the wind, not entirely serious. “Besides, it’s the twenty-first century already — you really think there are still women out there giving themselves away out of gratitude? This isn’t a TV drama.”

Jiang Wen suddenly recalled some unreliable advice Zhao Binlin had given him before: “Worst case, just go all in, seduce Feng Ning with your looks — I refuse to believe there’s a woman in this world who can resist your looks, man, no way.”

There’s an old Chinese saying — as looks fade, so does love. Anxiously, he asked, “So there’ll come a day when I’m not good-looking anymore — will you stop liking me then?”

“You’re thinking that far ahead already?”

Feng Ning said this without thinking, and after a long silence with no response from him, she guessed he’d gotten upset again. This guy really was a combination of a jealous pot and a petty little vinegar jar. Right in front of them was Yujiang Alley; Feng Ning pulled the scooter over. “Get off, esteemed Lord Jiang.”

Once Jiang Wen got off, she crouched down and locked the scooter.

The moonlight hung hazy like mist; they stood by the roadside. Feng Ning pulled Jiang Wen’s neck down, kissed the side of his brow lightly, and touched her forehead to his. “Alright, be good, don’t make me worry.”

She watched him get on the bus.

Feng Ning turned and walked into the courtyard, everything pitch dark around her. Her expression faded, little by little.

She locked the door, showered, and got into bed. A small lamp stayed lit at the bedside, its light hazy. Feng Ning curled up under the covers, watching the dreamcatcher swaying against the window.

Exhausted as she was, she still couldn’t fall asleep at night. Breathing in the scent of her mother’s clothes, Feng Ning lay in bed, hand pressed over her heart, curling into a ball. She endured through the hours, eyes open, waiting for dawn.

The summer cicadas droned on endlessly; the days slipped by like flowing water. Zhao Huiyun pulled some strings and got Feng Ning a few jobs. She stayed busy from morning to night, running nonstop, exhausted to the point of collapse, but never letting herself stop.

Once, getting off work, she happened to run into Shuang Yao, who’d come home to grab something. Shuang Yao froze for a second, stopping to look Feng Ning over. “Ningning, what happened to you? You look a lot more worn out.”

Feng Ning gave a noncommittal response.

“How’ve you been lately? If anything’s wrong, tell me.”

Feng Ning thought about it, then smiled at her. “About the same, getting by.”

What couldn’t be gotten through, in the end.

In the six months since Qi Lan’s passing, Feng Ning had started suffering frequent insomnia. At night when she did manage to sleep, she’d dream of her mother, then jolt awake from the dream, touch her face, and find it soaked in tears.

Life was an indescribable tragedy. The searing pain would fade away gradually at some point, lying dormant in the wound. Then, in the dead of night, it would strike again. Perhaps she’d overestimated herself.

Feng Ning wasn’t a superwoman; she wasn’t all-powerful.

It’s just that when a new day arrives, facing all the ordinary business of life again, no one has the right to fall apart. During the day, in front of customers, Feng Ning mustered all her energy, chatting and laughing normally with them, without the slightest slacking.

She seemed split into two people.

The self in front of others, and the self behind closed doors. Gradually, all of Feng Ning’s warmth and cheerfulness would abruptly cut off the moment no one was around.

Her body felt hollow; life had become like filming a movie — the moment the director called cut, all the expressions, words, and movements would fade away in an instant.

At some point, Feng Ning suddenly realized something was off. She felt uneasy, hating this gloomy, fragile side of herself, working very hard to regulate her emotions — but her capacity to think, to perceive, kept shrinking uncontrollably, no matter what she did.

April, May, June — like an arrow loosed from a bow, whooshing past, cutting through the final stretch of the senior students’ school years.

Feng Ning stayed swamped with work, but still made time to talk with Jiang Wen on the phone for ten-odd minutes every day. Occasionally in the afternoon, she’d take time off to visit him at school, waiting near the honor roll board for him to get out of class. Jiang Wen’s grades were excellent, holding steady in first place.

She didn’t have much extra time; the most she could manage was a walk around the sports field with him. Perhaps because work had worn her out, Feng Ning gradually started talking less.

Between the two of them, Jiang Wen became the more talkative one. Most of the time she just listened, then, as before, occasionally teased him a bit.

Jiang Wen had a bad habit — he liked having Feng Ning hand over her phone, then carefully checking through it.

Since Feng Ning often didn’t answer his calls, Jiang Wen wanted to confirm whether he was the only one getting this treatment.

The inspection was mandatory. After going through her call log, he’d also check who she’d been chatting with recently on WeChat.

Feng Ning, a lollipop still in her mouth, glanced at him, mumbling, “Don’t you think you’re acting like some middle-aged housewife, worried her husband’s cheating at every moment?”

Jiang Wen pretended not to hear, absorbed in checking her phone.

The dramatic, tumultuous college entrance exam came to an end on an unremarkable clear day. Summer break arrived along with it, and Hunan TV started rerunning Princess Pearl again.

Feng Ning went to the farewell dinner too. Zhao Binlin and Xi Gaoyuan were both there. She drank quite a bit at the table.

Zhao Binlin’s tolerance was decent, but even he couldn’t out-drink Feng Ning. Slurring slightly, he said to Jiang Wen, “Bro, wishing you two a hundred years of happiness together, waiting to drink at your wedding.”

Young people always think time moves slowly, that this present moment could stretch on forever. Feng Ning raised a cup. “The college entrance exam’s finally over — here’s to escaping the sea of suffering.” She threw her head back and downed it in one go.

“Drink less.” Jiang Wen caught hold of her hand.

The meal was lively and boisterous; by the end, several of the boys were staggering drunk. Jiang Wen, who hadn’t touched a drop, took charge of sending the drunk ones home.

One by one, people left. Jiang Wen, having seen everyone off, returned to the table. Feng Ning was slumped over it, her face pale, eyes shut tight, lips pressed together. He touched her ear. “Feng Ning?”

Feng Ning seemed not to hear.

So Jiang Wen bent down slightly, calling out again — still no response. He assumed she’d had too much to drink and fallen asleep. Under the bright lights, he crouched down beside her, tilting his face up to look at her.

Her lashes flickered; Feng Ning’s brow furrowed even tighter. She opened her eyes slightly, seeing Jiang Wen. Seemingly a little confused, she stared blankly for two seconds, then finally spoke: “Oh… you’re here. Let’s go.”

Jiang Wen watched her intently, wiping away the faint trace of moisture at the corner of her eye with a finger. “Did you just fall asleep?”

“Didn’t fall asleep, just a bit tired, dozed off for a moment.” She rubbed her reddened eyes and stood up.

The restaurant was near Yujiang Alley; they walked back together. At the busy intersection, Jiang Wen hesitated, then asked, “Have you been really worn out lately?”

Feng Ning’s eyelids twitched, and as usual, she joked with him, “When am I not worn out?”

Jiang Wen didn’t know what to say. “I feel like you’re not very happy.”

“Happy? I don’t know how to be happy anymore. There are just too many people to deal with every day, I’m a bit tired.”

Feng Ning’s expression looked no different from usual, casual, as if joking around.

Having said that, she kept walking forward as if nothing had happened.

But for a split second, Jiang Wen had a strange feeling.

Everything Feng Ning had just said was true.

A large sale event had come to the mall in Jiangbei; foot traffic had surged lately. The boutique staff were all dressed impeccably, wearing the most standard smiles to greet customers.

The sky had gone fully dark; FU had done a fresh renovation. The lead manager personally hurried over, taking the bags from a few of the ladies’ hands, leading them to sit on the sofas in the central area.

The store had the air conditioning on; Shi Zhimei, tired from shopping, rubbed her legs and said, “The scores come out in a few days, right? How’d Xiao Wen do?”

Yin Yan glanced at Jiang Wen. “Should be fine. Is Xiao Rou headed to CAFA?”

Pei Shurou smiled, answering, “Yes, might even end up in the same city as Jiang Wen. Oh right, auntie, take a look at this shop’s new arrivals later, my classmate recommended it, said it’s pretty good.”

A staff member carrying a tray knelt gently onto the plush carpet, setting cups of water down one by one in front of them.

FU was a certain high-end Japanese luxury brand; this kind of kneeling service was quite common there. Yin Yan chatted and laughed with those around her, not noticing the person kneeling nearby.

Jiang Wen had been talking to Pei Shurou; the staff member handed a cup of water to him. He took it, saying thank you out of habit. He took a sip, and the instant he looked up and saw her face clearly, Jiang Wen choked, coughing violently. So shocked, he immediately stood up from the sofa.

Yin Yan turned, puzzled. “What’s wrong with you? Making such a fuss.”

For work, Feng Ning had put on very mature makeup. The last time they’d met was two years ago, so Yin Yan had no impression of her at all anymore.

The manager attending them nearby also noticed something off, scolding, “Xiao Ning, what are you doing?”

Jiang Wen hadn’t expected to run into her in a setting like this; he pulled her up.

Feng Ning showed not a hint of anything on her face, treating him like a complete stranger, polite yet somewhat apologetic. “Sorry, didn’t burn you, did I?” As she spoke, she stood up.

Watching for a while, Yin Yan sensed something was off, furrowing her brow slightly. “What, Xiao Wen, do you know her?”

Everyone’s eyes turned to Jiang Wen, as if waiting for his answer.

“She’s my…”

Before he’d gotten a few words out, Feng Ning cut in ahead of him. “Hello auntie, I’m his former classmate.”

“……”

Jiang Wen wanted to say something, his lips moving, then holding back.

Yin Yan looked a bit surprised. “Classmate? Then why are you working here?”

Pei Shurou set down her cup and stood up too, her tone taking on a bit of warmth. “Feng Ning, haven’t seen you in ages — did you start working here right after dropping out?”

“Dropping out?” Shi Zhimei raised an eyebrow.

Feng Ning gave an acknowledging hum, still standing there smiling. “Something happened with my family, I took a year off from school.”

“This is chrysanthemum tea, good for clearing heat and detoxifying — please try it, let me know if you need anything else.” Feng Ning said nothing further, holding the tray against her chest, bowing slightly toward the group.

Watching her walk away, Jiang Wen’s mind went blank for a moment; he moved to get up and follow. Pei Shurou instinctively grabbed his arm.

Jiang Yuyun, seemingly lost in thought, flipped a page of her magazine, coughed once. “Xiao Wen, sit down, don’t be rude.”

The mall generally closed around nine thirty. Once Feng Ning finished her tasks and FU stopped operations for the night, she went to the changing room to check her phone.

A WeChat message from Jiang Wen, sent an hour earlier: [I’m waiting for you by the fountain at the plaza entrance.]

She quickly changed clothes, grabbed her things, and headed to the fountain.

The fountain’s lights and music were still running. Feng Ning walked up and tapped his shoe with the tip of her own.

Jiang Wen turned his face to look at her. He’d been sitting here a long while; his fair, delicate skin had picked up several large mosquito bites on his neck.

Feng Ning stood in front of him. “What are you doing here?”

She heard him say quietly, “Getting some air.”

Feng Ning took out the mosquito repellent from her bag, dabbed some on her fingertip, and applied it to the swollen bites. “Sulking?”

Jiang Wen pulled her hand down. “Just now, why didn’t you say I was your girlfriend.”

Feng Ning said flatly, “Was that really the moment for it? And at our age, plenty of things could still change down the road — you don’t need to tell your family this early.”

She’d worked from morning to night today, talked far too much, and her voice had gone quite hoarse. “It would only cause a lot of unnecessary trouble.”

Jiang Wen looked at her. “If trouble comes, we deal with it — and my mom will find out eventually anyway.”

“We’ll deal with future things in the future, why are you overthinking it now?” Feng Ning said, “There’s too much uncertainty ahead — I just live in the present.”

Jiang Wen strongly resisted this line of thinking. “So you’ve never even thought about our future?”

“Thought about what — breaking up or something?”

“I’ve never once thought about breaking up with you since we got together.”

Feng Ning didn’t respond, her eyes tired. She said, “I don’t know what happens in the future.”

She placed her hand on his shoulder, patted it, and said softly, “Don’t think about it so much.”

Jiang Wen suddenly felt a wave of loss and helplessness wash over him.

The college entrance exam scores came out. A red banner was hung at Qide’s school gate, Jiang Wen’s name printed on it — South City’s top scorer.

Just as everyone expected, his score qualified him for the best university in the capital. September arrived, and Feng Ning saw Jiang Wen off. At the Starbucks under the airport terminal, Feng Ning gave him a hug.

After starting college, Jiang Wen still texted and called her frequently. Feng Ning had also gone back to school; she needed income, so she didn’t quit her night job. Days at school, nights working. She barely checked her phone, replying to messages sporadically.

One Saturday afternoon, Feng Ning, half-asleep, got a video call from Jiang Wen.

“Why are you sleeping at this hour?”

Feng Ning climbed out of bed, hair a mess, confused and dazed, before noticing the sunlight behind the curtains and realizing it wasn’t nighttime. “Oh, I was a bit sleepy.”

Feng Ning’s complexion was quite poor, her spirits low. Jiang Wen didn’t notice, absorbed in his own thoughts: “You haven’t replied to me in two days.”

“Is that so.”

“Why.”

Feng Ning shifted slightly, rubbing her temple. “I’ve been a bit busy lately.”

Jiang Wen felt a bit hurt. “You always say that. We barely get to talk twice a week, what exactly are you busy with?”

Feng Ning stayed quiet, lost in thought.

“I don’t like long-distance relationships.”

Less than two months into college, he’d already brought this up more than once. Jiang Wen’s unrestrained persistence was starting to wear on Feng Ning. “So what do you want, for me to come repeat a year with you?”

“If the two of us keep going like this.”

Moving to the bay window, Feng Ning stared at her own wrist for a long while. “Jiang Wen, don’t think this way, seriously. It’s foolish. I don’t need anyone’s companionship, I don’t want to be responsible for your future.”

“It’s just one university — you think that decides my whole life?”

“It might not decide yours, but it decides mine.”

They couldn’t manage two civil sentences anymore before an argument broke out — this had become their new normal lately. Last time it was over which university Feng Ning would apply to next year; this time it was over whether Jiang Wen should repeat a year.

The conversation stalled there. Two of them, unhappy, hung up without resolution.

After the noise faded, an endless silence settled in.

Feng Ning fell into her habitual silence, staring blankly, a tightness in her chest, a sensation like being unable to breathe. She pulled open her nightstand drawer, took out a pill bottle, shook out a few pills, and swallowed them dry.

Jiang Wen took a flight back the very next day — the third time this month already.

Feng Ning took a leave from her teacher.

She had a meal with Jiang Wen. She looked at him quietly, seeming to think carefully about how to phrase things. “You should focus on what you’re supposed to be doing, stop wasting time coming back to see me all the time.”

He looked at her. “I know what I should be doing.”

“Don’t put all your energy into me, okay?” Feng Ning sighed. “I’m finding my studies a bit tough right now — I can’t guarantee I’ll get into the same school as you, but I’ll do my best. Let’s stop fighting so much.”

Jiang Wen sensed her impatience. “I just want you to reply to a message, is that so hard?”

“Sorry.” Feng Ning explained, somewhat with difficulty, “I don’t check my phone much.”

Jiang Wen had never liked anyone this much before, had never been in a long-distance relationship before; it was like walking down a good road only to suddenly lose all sense of direction. He couldn’t handle Feng Ning’s sudden coldness at all, his breathing growing uneven. “Why does it feel to me like I don’t matter to you at all, like there’s no equality between the two of us at all. It’s like our future is something only I’m thinking about, and you don’t care in the slightest, is that it?”

“I really don’t have the energy to think about these things.” Feng Ning reined in the emotion welling up. “I’m grateful for how good you are to me, so I don’t want to hurt you. But that doesn’t mean you get to guilt-trip me over it.”

“What… guilt-trip?”

“What you’re saying to me right now, that’s guilt-tripping.”

The words “guilt-trip” landed like a bucket of gasoline thrown straight at him, igniting the fire already burning in Jiang Wen’s chest higher and higher, mixed in with an indescribable sense of grievance.

“I just want to see you, want to call you, want to go to the same university as you — is that a guilt trip in your eyes?”

A suppressed atmosphere hung quietly between them.

Feng Ning felt a drained, suffocating sensation. She looked Jiang Wen straight in the eye. “Right now, honestly, I think it’s a burden. I’m really tired.”

Jiang Wen hadn’t expected her to say this. Almost instantly, anger surged up, along with an obvious pain in his eyes. “You don’t like me?”

“No, I like you.”

He knew this wasn’t the right moment to keep going, but he lost control anyway. “But I — I can’t feel it at all.”

Feng Ning said it lightly, seeming a bit puzzled herself. “Maybe… I don’t love you enough. Sorry.”

“What does that mean.”

“I like the stars, I like the moon, I like the sun. I like a lot of things, but none of them ever make me cry — including you.”

“Jiang Wen, I like you, but I don’t love you.” She said, “So don’t hold such high expectations of me anymore, okay.”

He had a thousand things he wanted to say, but every single one of them got stopped up by her one word — don’t love. As if something had suddenly been ripped open, Jiang Wen finally realized: from beginning to end, this had all been a one-man show.

She’d watched coldly from the sidelines, while he’d been too invested in his own performance.

“The state we’re in is wearing us both out.” Feng Ning said, “I feel like I can’t return the same weight of feeling you give me — you feel unbalanced inside, and I keep getting more and more exhausted too.”

Feng Ning said, “Why don’t we take some time apart, let the two of us both calm down.”

Jiang Wen sat half-frozen, not knowing how to react for a moment. He was silent for a long while.

“I’m sorry, it’s my personality that’s not great.”

Jiang Wen’s voice came out strained. “I didn’t realize I was wearing you out like this. I was too willful before, I’ll change going forward.”

“Don’t be like this, Jiang Wen.”

Feng Ning wanted to say more, but he cut her off. “I don’t want to break up, even if you…” he said with difficulty, “even if you don’t love me, it doesn’t matter.”

Feng Ning didn’t know how to feel. She looked at him, saying nothing for a long while.

Finally, she said, “Okay, that’s fine.”

Jiang Wen began reducing how often he called and texted her. The next time he saw her was two months later.

Two days before New Year’s, Jiang Wen flew back to South City.

He sat on the long bench at the bus stop at the mouth of Yujiang Alley, spending an entire afternoon there, waiting for Feng Ning to walk home from school.

The sky gradually darkened; the orange sunset blurred into a hazy mass. Feng Ning walked past, head down, not looking at the road ahead, moving slowly.

He’d just called out one syllable when Shuang Yao came dashing out from the alley, throwing her arms around Feng Ning in a bear hug.

A car passed between them, across the street.

Feng Ning let Shuang Yao hold her, head resting on her shoulder, laughing happily.

It was — a smile Jiang Wen hadn’t seen in a long time, genuine, joyful, relaxed.

She seemed to not have been this happy in a long while.

He stood frozen in place, holding onto his suitcase handle.

…

…

That evening, around seven or eight, Feng Ning finished a homework assignment. Suddenly remembering tomorrow was New Year’s Eve, she picked up her phone and sent Jiang Wen a message:—

What are you up to?

The last time they’d talked was two days ago; Jiang Wen had sent her a goodnight, and she’d replied with a moon emoji. The distance between them kept growing more obvious.

Anyway, this was just the new normal — no matter how much warmth there’d been, distance and time would gradually wear it down.

Jiang Wen: [You’re done for the day?]

Feng Ning stared at those few words for a long while. His caution suddenly made her feel a pang of guilt. She set her pen down, thought about it, and replied—

Nothing else going on, want to video call?

The reply came quickly: [Then come downstairs. I’m outside your place.]

Feng Ning couldn’t quite process it for a moment. She threw on a random jacket, sat down in front of her makeup mirror, rolled up her sleeves, poured foundation onto her arm, smoothed it out, then used concealer to cover up what remained, grabbed her keys, and went down.

In the night, Jiang Wen sat on the bench. It was cold; he wore a dark blue coat, his face frozen red.

He seemed to have always favored this color.

Feng Ning’s steps slowed as she walked up, handing him a hot water bottle. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?”

It was very cold outside. Feng Ning shivered, sitting down beside him. “How many days are you back for?”

“Leaving the day after tomorrow.”

She curved her lips up. “When did you land?”

“Just now.”

After a pause, Feng Ning only now noticed. “You didn’t bring luggage back with you?”

“Left it at the hotel.”

“Didn’t tell your family?”

Jiang Wen shook his head.

Neither of them had anything more to say. Feng Ning took his hand, feeling its temperature. “Are you cold?”

“Not cold.”

“Have you eaten?”

“Ate at the airport.” Jiang Wen looked at her in the dim light. “What about you, how’s school been lately?”

Feng Ning shrank her neck down, wrapping her scarf another loop to block the cold wind. “Alright, the new homeroom teacher’s decent, seems to like me quite a bit too.”

Clearly only a few months had passed, but the topics between them seemed to keep dwindling. Everything felt different from before now. Feng Ning lowered her head, staring blankly at her own toes.

Her attention wandered easily these days. A sound rang twice near her ear before Feng Ning realized Jiang Wen had been talking. She quickly adjusted her expression, turned her head. “Hm? What?”

Jiang Wen suddenly fell silent, stopping himself.

A moment of quiet passed. After a while, Jiang Wen said quietly, “It’s getting late, go on home. Want to meet up tomorrow afternoon?” “Sure, text me once you get back to the hotel.”

Feng Ning stood up, walked a couple steps, then turned back. Jiang Wen still sat there, unmoving, just watching her.

She turned, waving at him, putting on a bright smile: “See you tomorrow afternoon.”

Jiang Wen nodded. “See you tomorrow.”

The next day was New Year’s Eve; the streets were lively. Feng Ning, matching the festive mood, dressed all in red and took Jiang Wen to their old favorite ramen shop.

While waiting for the food, she used his phone to order two milk teas.

On TV, Leslie Cheung smiled at the female lead: “If it feels too exhausting, there’s nothing wrong with saying goodbye in time.”

They chatted for a while about Jiang Wen’s college major. Feng Ning didn’t quite follow along; once he finished, she started a new topic. “Is college fun? How are things with your roommates, is it stressful?”

“It’s alright, freshman year classes aren’t too heavy, not much pressure.”

Jiang Wen thought about it. “Two of my roommates are on the student council, they’re busier than me. The school…”

Feng Ning stared at a single chopstick, her mind wandering.

Jiang Wen paused, then finished what he was saying: “The school had a sports meet last month, I joined the 1500-meter, even placed.”

“Oh? Really.” Feng Ning straightened up, nodding absentmindedly. “That’s great, I haven’t had time to run lately myself.”

She forced herself to stay energetic in front of him, but it showed so plainly — bit by bit, she was losing her vitality. It was as if she’d become an entirely different person; Jiang Wen didn’t know where the problem lay, nor what to do about it.

During their last argument before this, Feng Ning had told him, “Your yielding, your giving — it just makes me want to run away. I don’t know how to reciprocate it equally.”

The atmosphere grew a little heavy; she sat across from him eating, one bite at a time. They didn’t eat especially fast, but eventually there was always an end to a meal.

Walking past the overpass, Feng Ning stood beneath it, looking up. Many memories surfaced; she glanced back at Jiang Wen. “What do you want to do later?”

Jiang Wen: “Take the bus?”

Feng Ning knew he meant Route 425. “Should we catch a movie first?”

“Sure.”

The movie let out at ten.

They fell into step naturally with the crowd exiting, walking slowly. Finding a random bus stop nearby, they dropped their coins in and boarded.

Sitting on the night bus, looking outside, the streets were lively. Feng Ning’s smile faded; she felt clearly some kind of emotion suddenly disconnect within her.

She didn’t want to talk.

Head resting against the window, she felt exhaustion wash over her entire body.

Jiang Wen turned his head to look at her.

Feng Ning showed no emotional fluctuation at all, her whole being filled with an unreadable stillness. He said, “Are you not happy being with me?”

“Huh?” Feng Ning wasn’t sure what had gone wrong. Recalling what had just happened, she looked at him, slightly confused, her tone carrying a hint of guilt. “I’m not unhappy, I’ve just had a lot of academic pressure lately, so I haven’t felt much like talking.”

Jiang Wen stated it plainly: “Being with you is when I’m happiest.”

Feng Ning’s mind finally cleared a bit; she had a feeling of what he was about to say next.

A few seconds passed.

“I don’t know how to win you back anymore.”

Jiang Wen’s expression suddenly turned flat. “Feng Ning, let’s break up.”

For a long, long time, Feng Ning didn’t answer, as if intently watching the scenery outside the window. She turned her head and said just one thing: “Happy New Year.”

It turned out midnight had already passed.

Jiang Wen made a soft acknowledging sound.

She tucked her hands into her pockets and stood up. “This is the last stop, let’s get off.”

This was where their story had begun.

…

…

On the ride back, Feng Ning asked, “Want to hear another song?”

Jiang Wen shook his head. Then neither of them said anything more. Reaching downtown, they got off together. The place was full of the sound of voices, brilliant fireworks bursting overhead one after another.

Feng Ning asked, very calmly, “Have you made up your mind?”

Jiang Wen didn’t move, his eyes exhausted, filled with pain.

She nodded thoughtfully. “It’s my fault.”

“Then I’ll go.” Feng Ning pointed ahead for Jiang Wen. “Once I cross this road, I won’t look back. You should go too.”

Feng Ning looked at him earnestly, then smiled and said, “Being with you, I was happy too.”

She walked away.

Standing in the brightly lit street, Jiang Wen suddenly felt lost.

If only time could stop forever at that first meeting, in that height of summer, how nice that would be.

Sixteen-year-old Jiang Wen, in a clean button-up shirt, his features cool and refined.

He was the boy every girl in school admired but didn’t dare approach.

The bright midday sun cast dappled tree shadows on the ground, and Feng Ning had walked past him without a care in the world.

She’d smiled at him, her eyes full of light.

From that moment on, he was lost to her radiance.

The next afternoon, Feng Ning received a delivery call.

Stepping out of the classroom, she found it had started drizzling. The rain was fine and thin; only a few people had umbrellas out.

At the school gate, a delivery worker in a yellow uniform handed her a cup of milk tea — the same one she’d ordered on Jiang Wen’s phone yesterday.

Feng Ning stood frozen for a long moment, as if under some spell. When someone else urged her along, she finally snapped back to herself, said thanks, and took the cup.

She carried it forward, not returning to the classroom, heading instead to the field where she and Jiang Wen used to walk together.

Her phone buzzed once—

Feng Ning, I’m back at school.

She lowered her head, staring at the message. In that instant, though it was clearly a relief, a dull ache spread through her chest, slowly expanding. It felt as though a stone were pressing down on her; she couldn’t catch her breath.

The rain gradually grew heavier, soaking through her top. Feng Ning sat on the bleachers of the field, chin resting on both hands, staring blankly ahead.

Once she’d finished the milk tea, she sent Jiang Wen a reply:

Okay, bye.

Her phone buzzed again:—

Mm.

This was supposed to be the end.

She deleted his chat thread and put her phone away. Step by step, she walked down the bleachers.

There’s a line from Spirited Away that goes: when the person who has accompanied you for so long is about to get off, even if you can’t bear it, you should still be grateful and wave goodbye.

This is where our journey together ends.

If you must go eventually.

Please, when you leave me, be a little gentler about it.