Before moving to the county town, Qing Hang had lived in the village.

During his second year of high school, on the day of the Beginning of Winter, he returned to the village for some business. Before he could finish, he received a call from Cheng Wanyue, who was home alone with a fever.

In the middle of the night, he couldn’t find transportation in the village, so he walked to the county town, arriving at dawn.

Cheng Wanyue didn’t know he wasn’t in town. After calling him, she waited and waited without seeing any sign of him, which made her a bit angry.

It was her first time baking a cake. The shape wasn’t pretty, and the taste wasn’t great either. The cream was spread roughly, and the fruit was cut unevenly, but she had spent a long time on it, just wanting him to have a taste. He didn’t usually celebrate his birthday, so if she had directly asked him to come blow out candles and make a wish, there wouldn’t have been any element of surprise. That’s why she lied about having a fever—friends had played similar tricks on her before.

The Beginning of Winter that year was particularly cold. Early the next morning, she was awakened by the doorbell. She already had morning grumpiness, and with the carefully prepared birthday surprise ruined due to the absence of its intended recipient, her temper was especially bad.

But when she opened the door and saw his exhausted face that couldn’t hide his concern for her, even her worst morning mood dissipated like smoke.

Only after asking did she learn that he had walked back overnight, wearing out the soles of his running shoes.

He hadn’t slept all night and wouldn’t listen to her, insisting on taking her to the hospital before going home to rest. She didn’t have a fever, and the cake ended up in the trash bin.

When you tell one lie, you need another to cover it. Back then, he believed everything she said.

…

Cheng Wanyue had been sitting leisurely on a high stool, drinking milk tea and listening to music. Qing Hang asked a few questions, but she didn’t say a word. Suddenly, for some unknown reason, she began to cry.

A tear dropped onto the back of her hand, and Qing Hang froze.

His limbs stiffened. When Cheng Wanyue jumped off the chair and threw herself into his arms, he stumbled half a step backward, bumping into a nearby chair. The chair legs scraped against the floor, creating a harsh sound.

After a long while, he finally came back to his senses and raised his hand to gently pat her back.

He explained in a low voice, “I didn’t get here faster because of the traffic jam.”

“I know,” Cheng Wanyue sniffled. The phone had been connected the whole time; she could hear the sounds on his end. He had even gotten out of the car midway.

“It’s already past ten. Should I take you home?”

“He didn’t hit me or touch me, just yelled at me. I can’t call the police,” she touched her face. “Look, I’m pretty, young, and have some money. What if he’s still lurking around nearby? If someone like that has bad intentions, it’s terrifying.”

His arms suddenly emptied as she pulled away. Qing Hang’s hands froze for a few seconds before dropping to his sides. “Do you want to stay at my place for now?”

Cheng Wanyue’s tone was somewhat hesitant. “…That’s not appropriate, is it? You only have two rooms there, and no place for me to sleep.”

Qing Hang looked away. “Zhou Heng isn’t home. He’s away on a business trip.”

He added, “You can go back when Cheng Yanqing returns.”

Cheng Wanyue picked up her unfinished milk tea. “Alright then, I’ll stay at your place.”

As soon as she reached out her hand, Qing Hang instinctively took it. His other hand helped her with her bag as he pushed open the door and walked out. He matched his pace to hers, walking as slowly as she did, but she still fell behind, so he slowed down even more.

The evening breeze was still unbearably hot at this hour. People and vehicles moved about on the streets, and they blended in among them ordinarily.

“Are you thirsty?” Cheng Wanyue held the milk tea up to his lips.

There was a faint lipstick mark on the straw. Qing Hang turned his head away. “Not thirsty. You drink it.”

“I can’t finish it, and drinking too much affects sleep. It would be wasteful to throw it away. It’s only three parts sugar, not too sweet.”

The light had just turned from green to red, and they would have to wait for nearly a minute. She looked at him with bright, clear eyes that showed no hint of flirtation. Qing Hang looked away and slightly lowered his head to finish the remaining half cup of milk tea. There were still a few tapioca pearls inside. She bit the straw, making a great effort to suck the pearls into her mouth before throwing the empty cup into the nearby trash bin.

Cheng Wanyue had been to Qing Hang’s place before and knew roughly how far it was. “It’s hard to get a taxi here. Should we ride a shared bike?”

Qing Hang looked at her dress and high heels.

She also realized that riding a bike like this would not only risk exposing herself but might also result in an embarrassing fall. “…Never mind.”

The red light ended, and Qing Hang stepped onto the pedestrian crossing. Cheng Wanyue was pulled along with him.

They were still holding hands.

Only when they got into the car did they separate.

The driver bypassed the congested section of the road, taking ten extra minutes.

After getting off the elevator, Qing Hang took out his keys to open the door.

Cheng Wanyue followed him inside. Qing Hang gave her a pair of slippers—the ones he had been wearing the last time she visited.

“Why did you go to such a remote place?”

“I wanted to buy a late-night snack. I didn’t eat enough in the afternoon.”

Qing Hang went to the kitchen and looked in the refrigerator. He had been very busy these past few days, having lunch and dinner at the hospital cafeteria. “There’s not much food at home. I can only make you a bowl of noodles.”

Cheng Wanyue made herself comfortable on the sofa without any hesitation. “Am I eating alone?”

“I’ll eat too,” Qing Hang went to his room to find a clean towel for her, suggesting she freshen up first. “You can sleep in this room. Bear with it for tonight, and tomorrow I’ll find time to get the things you need and a change of clothes.”

She was silent for a moment, then suddenly placed her phone face down on the table with a thud.

“Qing Hang, I won’t sleep with you right now. We can only kiss, nothing more.”

The air fell into silence.

Last time he had given her his shirt, it was just to tie around her waist to prevent any wardrobe malfunctions, but she had completely undressed and put it on. This time, when he offered her his room, she assumed he wanted to sleep with her.

Qing Hang closed his eyes briefly, and there was obvious helplessness in his soft sigh. “What I meant was, you take the bed, and I’ll sleep on the couch in the living room.”

“…Oh,” she sighed too. “What should I wear after showering?”

“Find something yourself.”

“Can I wear anything?”

“Yes.”

Qing Hang had already fried an egg and started boiling water for noodles while Cheng Wanyue was still leisurely looking through the closet for clothes. She picked out a T-shirt and walked to the door. Seeing Qing Hang’s back, she thought for a moment and went back to get a pair of thin track pants.

The bathroom was small; two men living together didn’t need much space.

On the counter were shower gel and facial cleanser, plus a bottle of hair gel and a razor—except for the shower gel, these were probably Zhou Heng’s.

“Qing Hang,” she called from inside the bathroom without opening the door, “I need to remove my makeup.”

There was nothing at home for removing makeup, and no shopping mall nearby.

Qing Hang turned off the stove. “Go ahead and wash first.”

The neighbors were a married couple with whom he rarely interacted. Qing Hang had lived here for a year, and he had encountered the neighbors fewer than five times.

He didn’t like bothering others, and even when he had problems, he usually solved them himself.

So when he knocked on their door, the neighbors were surprised to see him. They were even more surprised when he politely asked to borrow some makeup remover. He seemed quite embarrassed, his ears turning red.

The female neighbor gave him a large dollop of makeup remover and even threw in a sheet mask.

When Qing Hang returned with these two items, the sound of running water could already be heard from the bathroom.

He stood at the bathroom door and knocked.

“Just a minute,” Cheng Wanyue hadn’t locked the door. The towel he had given her was only slightly smaller than a hotel bath towel, wrapped around her body, covering what needed to be covered.

Opening the door, she saw the white, cream-like substance in his palm. The face mask wasn’t cheap, and the makeup remover was probably of good quality too.

“Where did you get these?”

Water was everywhere inside. Qing Hang avoided her gaze and only said, “Just make do with these for now. I’ll get proper ones tomorrow.”

Cheng Wanyue extended a finger to scoop a bit of the cream. Even without looking at her, Qing Hang could feel the sensation of her fingertip sliding across his palm.

It tickled slightly.

“Put the face mask aside for now. My hands are wet. Help me apply all the makeup remover to my face,” she opened the door wider and closed her eyes, leaning toward him.

The towel was tied loosely, as if it might come undone at any moment, but she didn’t bother holding it in place.

A drop of water rolled down her beautiful swan-like neck, moving slower and slower until it was absorbed by the towel.

Qing Hang didn’t know that he only needed to apply the makeup remover to her face, and she could massage and rinse it off herself. She didn’t remind him, but instead just waited for him to slowly spread it evenly.

The air was filled with moisture, yet he felt somewhat parched.

“That’s good,” she suddenly opened her eyes and stepped back, closing the door. “You can continue making dinner.”

Cheng Wanyue was slow in the shower and slow when eating. Her hair was short, so she didn’t need a hair dryer.

She confidently took over Qing Hang’s bedroom without a hint of remorse.

Qing Hang lay on the sofa in the living room. There was no air conditioning in the living room, and he started sweating again right after his shower. Cheng Wanyue opened the bedroom door to let the cool air flow into the living room.

She wouldn’t wear so much to sleep, so she took off the track pants that were too long for her.

They had used the same shower gel, and that faint fragrance lingered in his nostrils. It was very late before Qing Hang felt any drowsiness.

Even if she were sleeping right beside him, he would still feel as if it were just a dream.

In his dream, it was that muddy, rainy night again.

He had waited in the alley for a very long time, so long that he had forgotten the time but refused to give up on that one-in-ten-thousand chance. Wait a little longer, maybe she would remember him, but in the end, she never showed up for their appointment. Raindrops fell on his body, on his hair, beating down on his stubborn heart one by one.

Every second he dared to desire her, he felt like a raindrop hanging from the eaves, pulled downward by gravity, yet reluctant to fall to the ground.

After that night, he was sick for half a month.

His grandfather told him, “Xiao Hang, the Cheng family has been good to us. Monthly is the family’s little princess, and everyone spoils her. Her temper might be a bit strong, and she might be a bit pampered, but she’s not bad at heart. She’s a good child. You can give in to her, accommodate her, favor her, and be good to her, but you can’t like her.”

He had never expressed his feelings at all and didn’t know how his grandfather had seen through him.

Cheng Wanyue had completely forgotten about that missed appointment. She would occasionally try to coax him, but when he ignored her, she would start to challenge him. This battle, hidden under everyone’s noses, had been fought on and off for more than half a year, and it hadn’t ended even after he left White City.

But the moment he started fantasizing that she would belong to him alone, he had already lost.

Unable to let go, yet unable to have her.