Cheng Wanyue had recorded a video in the summer. That farewell video was in Qing Hang’s phone. He knew her Weibo password, and her account, which hadn’t been updated for a year, had gradually been forgotten by people.

She filmed sunrises and sunset glows, speedwell flowers blooming in meadows and small puddles on rainy days, swaying tree shadows on the ground, and freshly baked sweet potatoes, but she never appeared in the videos herself.

The first two minutes were just her random thoughts; the actual farewell segment was only a few seconds long.

People who didn’t have the patience to watch until the end wouldn’t even know she was gone if they didn’t read the comments, thinking it was just a daily record.

Li Yu and Zhou Heng came to Nanjing together. Qing Hang only had time to see them in the evening. They didn’t disturb the Cheng family and just went for a casual stroll after dinner.

Cheng Wanyue had filmed pigeons before. Someone posted a photo in the comments of the same location. Zhou Heng wanted to go see it, and Li Yu followed.

The weather wasn’t good, and few people were feeding the pigeons.

A young man sat on the steps. A pigeon defecated on his hat, but he did not react. Li Yu only realized he was a somewhat famous band member named Chi Yue when she saw fans recognizing him and asking for his autograph.

Zhou Heng could recite Cheng Wanyue’s farewell message with his eyes closed, and it left him with a heavy heart.

“Qing Hang’s parents and grandfather all died from illness. At that time, he was helpless. When Wanyue’s old illness returned, he was still helpless. He has saved many people, but couldn’t save the one he loved most. There should only be a simple farewell ceremony for body donation. I thought Qing Hang wouldn’t stay in Nanjing, but he’s still able to work normally.”

Li Yu wore the brooch Cheng Wanyue had given her and looked up at the gloomy sky.

“There’s a saying: ‘The doctor dies, but the patient lingers on with illness.'”

The two fell silent. When evening came, they met with Qing Hang.

At the dinner table, Zhou Heng and Li Yu deliberately avoided topics related to Cheng Wanyue, but it was Qing Hang who mentioned her from time to time.

Qing Hang drank a lot. “When we were in school, I tutored her. At first, she thought I disliked her, so she deliberately opposed me, wanting to see me get angry.”

Li Yu was curious. “Your feelings for her were so obvious. How could she think you disliked her?”

Qing Hang said, “Because I often avoided her. She had many tricks up her sleeve. If I didn’t avoid her, I’d only end up at a disadvantage.”

One was a blazing flame, the other a solitary ice. Either the former would be extinguished, or the latter would melt.

“Life is cruel. God isn’t showing mercy to you or making it up to you, but punishing you on her behalf—punishing you for every hesitation, cowardice, and retreat. So He let you reunite, let you leave indelible memories in the city where you once lived alone, and in the city you yearned for in your youth. There were quarrels, but also sweetness, tightly intertwined like two vines, inseparable and impossible to discard. Then he made you experience the same illness she once suffered, making you suffer, feel guilty, regretful, and learn to cherish. Finally, He made your heart ache unbearably, desperately hoping to trade everything for her health, but still helpless.”

Zhou Heng felt these words were too heavy. “Senior, Qing Hang is already very upset…”

“He’s heard enough comforting words. I want him to be clear-headed and not become a soulless walking corpse,” Li Yu looked at the earring on Qing Hang’s clothes, which Cheng Wanyue had worn before. “Qing Hang, move forward.”

But Qing Hang had already collapsed on the dining table.

Zhou Heng was startled and quickly got up to check—he had fallen asleep from drunkenness.

Qing Hang slept for a long time. Before Cheng Yanqing went to cancel her household registration, he called Qing Hang, but he didn’t answer. Meiqiu sat on his chest. When he woke up, his body was covered in sweat. The room wasn’t large, and he paced around in circles.

Four potted plants sat on the windowsill, all bought by Cheng Wanyue. Qing Hang went over to water them and discovered the roots had rotted. He could see them every day when he came home, yet he didn’t realize several plants had long since died.

It was like having a hole in his pocket. Although the things inside kept leaking out every day, he could still feel them.

When everything had leaked out, the pocket remained.

Buried seeds will bloom, spring comes after winter passes, dawn follows darkness, the sun will rise again after setting, torrential rain eventually stops, old trees sprout new buds, withered wood encounters spring again—but longing has no end.

Fortunately, work became increasingly busy, and Qing Hang had little private time. He would sleep after work and go to work after waking up.

During holidays, Cheng Yuzhou would invite Qing Hang to have meals at the Cheng house. One day, he said Moon could now say “auntie.” Hearing little Moon’s soft voice, Qing Hang suddenly realized a year had passed.

He thought Cheng Wanyue must be very proud; she always won their bets.

“Doctor brother, what are you listening to?” asked a curious little girl sitting nearby.

She was the patient from bed 48, who used to often visit Cheng Wanyue. Her hair hadn’t grown back since being shaved off. She wore a hat with the brim covering her eyes.

Qing Hang placed his phone near her ear.

She heard a baby’s voice. “What is ‘dudu’? Is it someone’s name?”

Cheng Wanyue used to like sitting on this long bench to enjoy the sunshine, with crab apple flowers nearby.

Qing Hang said, “It’s ‘auntie.’ She’s still too young, so her pronunciation isn’t standard. This is the first word she learned.”

“The baby is so cute. I want to go to school. If I don’t go soon, my friends might forget me. They’re all in fifth grade now, but I’m still in third grade.”

“When you start school, you’ll have many new friends.”

“Really? But I still miss my desk mate. I wonder how he’s doing. Mom has been crying secretly lately, during the day and at night. She keeps saying sorry to me, but actually, I should be the one apologizing to her. I’ve cost so much money and made things difficult for her. Doctor brother, can I stop treating the disease?”

Qing Hang had no answer.

Medical textbooks don’t tell you whether the patient or their loved ones suffer more when someone is ill, nor whether the moment of departure brings relief or lingering attachment.

The little girl was too thin. When the wind blew, her clothes clung to her body, revealing her protruding bones. “Doctor brother, do you miss Sister Wanyue? The hat Sister Wanyue gave me, I can wear it until I’m twenty, if I can live to twenty…”

A leaf fell on her hat. Qing Hang gently reached up to remove it. “It’s enough for me to think of her when the moon is full. At other times, I should work well and live well.”

“Sister Wanyue said you’re very good at table tennis.”

“I’ve gotten rusty these past few years. When I was young, I didn’t have many toys to play with. I learned from a neighbor for a few days. Table tennis doesn’t cost much—a paddle can be used for a long time, and if the ball gets flat, you can plump it up again by soaking it in hot water.”

Last week, the Youth League Committee organized activities with various competitions. Qing Hang was originally just dragged along by colleagues to make up the numbers, but ended up winning first prize.

…

Every morning is brand new.

Li Yu saw Qing Hang again four years later. This time, Qing Hang was invited back to his alma mater to give a talk. She made a phone call, and he agreed.

Li Yu went to the airport to pick him up. He seemed unchanged—a pair of glasses, a pen, a laptop. Besides these, he also brought a gift.

When she got married, although Qing Hang didn’t attend the wedding, he had congratulated her in advance.

That day, Qing Hang only went to one place: the house he had previously rented.

Zhou Heng had returned from overseas studies and found it most convenient to work in this area. He contacted the landlord and rented the place again after the previous tenants moved out, living there for several years.

Hearing a knock, Zhou Heng went to open the door while playing a game.

Outside stood Qing Hang, carrying several bottles of alcohol. He had even bought food.

Zhou Heng hadn’t found a roommate, so the other room remained empty. After dinner, he invited Qing Hang to stay the night, but Qing Hang still went to a hotel.

The auditorium looked the same as before. A very small number of students who had heard Qing Hang’s talk a few years ago were still at the school. During the Q&A session after the presentation, a bold female student asked why his girlfriend hadn’t come.

Before the talk began, Li Yu had seen Qing Hang send a message to Cheng Wanyue’s WeChat account: “I’m about to go on stage.”

Many years ago, on that night, students walked out of the auditorium, chatting and laughing with Cheng Wanyue all the way, even recommending that she and Qing Hang take wedding photos at the school.

Li Yu was about to signal to the student that this question was inappropriate when Qing Hang’s voice was transmitted throughout the entire auditorium through the microphone.

“She is here.”

…

After his contract with the hospital expired, Qing Hang didn’t renew it. Before returning to Baicheng, he planned to travel abroad.

Little Moon grew to resemble Zhou Yu more and more as she got older.

The Samoyed that Qing Hang had given her had also grown up. She couldn’t carry it anymore and could only hold Meiqiu and Nuomi. “Meiqiu’s fur is so white, why is he called ‘Coal Ball’?”

“Like your nickname, they were both given by your aunt,” Zhou Yu called her daughter over to say goodbye to Qing Hang. “Hug your uncle. You won’t see him for a long time.”

Moon ran and threw herself into Qing Hang’s arms. “Goodbye, Uncle. Remember to call me, and you must come for New Year’s Eve dinner. You can’t miss it. Let’s pinky swear—liars are puppies.”

Qing Hang smiled as he hooked his finger with her chubby one. “I will come.”

Cheng Yuzhou knew Qing Hang had contacted the county hospital in Baicheng. After watching the fireworks show, he would return. “Here are the house keys. The house has been empty. You staying there would be helping us.”

Qing Hang had gone back last year and bought the small courtyard he and his grandfather had once rented from the former landlord.

“I have a place to stay,” Qing Hang accepted the keys. “It’s close by, just a few minutes’ walk. I’ll check on it regularly.”

Cheng Yuzhou took him to the airport. “Take care and stay in touch.”

Qing Hang stayed in Changgang for a week. The journey was smooth, though there was some regret. That summer, he and Cheng Wanyue had agreed to watch the fireworks show together, but only he saw it.

After returning to Baicheng, Moon sent voice messages to Qing Hang almost every day using Cheng Yuzhou’s WeChat, telling him about her friends at school, about Meiqiu and Nuomi fighting, about the dog stepping on her foot.

If Qing Hang didn’t reply promptly because he was working, she would get angry, but she was easy to pacify.

The hospital director’s home was in the same direction as Qing Hang’s courtyard, so they often finished work together. Everyone said Qing Hang was wasting his talent in this small place. The director wasn’t at ease either and brought up the subject of introducing him to potential partners while Qing Hang was on the phone with Moon.

This wasn’t the first time.

In the eyes of the older generation, someone of Qing Hang’s age should have been married long ago.

From last summer to this spring, from colleagues in various departments to the director, this was the sixth time.

A cat suddenly darted out from an intersection. It didn’t look domesticated—beautiful but unkempt. Qing Hang unconsciously followed it to the area near the school.

No matter how much the county town was rebuilt, the old district’s roads couldn’t be significantly changed.

The sound of the campus broadcast faintly came through, quickly drowned out by the noisy laughter. Small stalls lined the roadside. Students didn’t have much time to eat, and these snack stalls were more convenient than restaurants. One wave of students after another ran out of the school gates, making the not-so-wide road extremely crowded.

Qing Hang struggled to find the cat. Water dripped from the eaves onto his glasses, blurring his vision.

The sun hadn’t set yet, and the steps at the school gate gleamed with reflected light. In a daze, Qing Hang seemed to see himself and Cheng Wanyue in the crowd.

“Qing Hang, are you stupid? Is your head filled with nothing but reading and studying? When others scold you, don’t you know how to scold back?”

“Qing Hang, that day when I protected you, they gave me nicknames, calling me ‘Cheng Puppy’ and ‘Cheng Chicken,’ but I wasn’t angry at all.”

“Qing Hang, do you like me?”

“Qing Hang, you can only like me.”

Who lost the moon?

He lost the moon.

…

(End of the main text)