Hua Zhi had been visiting the Zhu household frequently of late. Each time the Matriarch saw her, she would feel an inward sigh — for the hardship of her lot, and for the burdens she carried — yet outwardly, she wore the same warm, affectionate smile as always, pulling her close with teasing words. “Who have you come to see today? It certainly can’t be this old woman of mine.”
“Whoever I’ve come to see, don’t I always see you first?” Hua Zhi helped her settle into her seat, and with those few words had the old woman beaming from ear to ear. Standing to one side, Zhu’s eldest daughter-in-law, Zheng Shi, turned something over in her mind — better now than later, she thought. It would have to be said eventually, and dragging it out would only delay things for Shan’er.
On previous visits, Hua Zhi had always attended to her business and left in a hurry, never having a proper chance to sit and chat with her maternal grandmother. Today, she set everything else aside and settled in to speak of domestic matters, telling her grandmother what her mother had been up to at home.
The Matriarch sighed. “Your mother’s disposition was always too gentle. It’s not as though I didn’t try to toughen her up — it was no use. Say two words to her and she’d be weeping away, never arguing back, never talking back, obedient to a fault. Never mind me — even her two brothers doted on her so much that they’d rush to her defense before I’d even done anything. When the time came for finding her a match, I was frantic. With a temperament like that, she’d be taken advantage of wherever she went. But before I could worry for more than a few days, your grandmother came calling. I knew she wasn’t entirely fond of this daughter-in-law — a family’s eldest son’s wife ought to be capable and able to run a household — but when I later heard the full story, it turned out your father had gone to plead his case with her himself. She has a soft heart; she said she’d raised him all those years and he’d never once asked anything of her, so how could she refuse?”
The Matriarch shook her head with a smile. “And as it happened, he really did protect her all those years. You don’t know how alarmed I was when I heard your father had taken a concubine. But alarmed as I was, what could be done? Once a daughter is married off, she belongs to another household. Fortunately, your father is a man of his word — even with a concubine in the household, he never let your mother suffer for it. That’s the way of the inner courtyard: no matter how capable or clever a woman may be, it counts for nothing if her husband doesn’t stand by her. Your mother had no such abilities, yet as long as your father stood on her side, no one could touch her.”
Zheng Shi joined in from the side. “Young Aunt was born under a fortunate star. Her parents and brothers protected her in her maiden home; her husband cherished her after marriage; and even after misfortune came, she had a son and daughter to shelter her. That kind of blessing is not something most people have.”
“It has only been hard on Zhi’er.”
“I don’t feel it to be hard.” Hua Zhi smiled faintly. “My mother may be gentle in temperament, but she loves her children well. Without comparing her to others, she has given us everything she has to give — that is enough.”
The Matriarch stared for a moment, and her eyes suddenly grew red-rimmed. Such a simple truth — yet how many could truly see it?
“What mother doesn’t give everything she has for her children?” Zheng Shi glanced at her mother-in-law, steeled herself, and decided that even if she had to endure some cold looks for a while, she would settle this matter today. She was the Zhu family’s eldest daughter-in-law, and she was doing nothing to wrong the family — they could not be too harsh with her.
Thinking of her husband’s attitude, she felt her resolve harden. She lifted her teacup as if to conceal her intent, took a sip, and said, “Speaking of which — Zhi’er, I fear your aunt may have to let you down.”
Hua Zhi’s heart stirred, though she allowed a look of mild confusion to show on her face. “What do you mean by that, Aunt?”
The Matriarch’s expression cooled. “First Daughter-in-Law, don’t be in such a rush.”
“Mother, I am willing to bear whatever bad name this brings me. You dote on Young Aunt, and you dote on Zhi’er — I understand completely. But I dote on Shan’er too!” Zheng Shi’s eyes reddened. She felt the injustice of it — all this tenderness for her granddaughter-in-law, and none spared for her own granddaughter.
Dabbing at the corner of her eye, Zheng Shi looked toward Hua Zhi. “Previously, your eldest uncle had hoped to arrange a match between Shan’er and Bailin. Bailin is a good child, wonderful in every way, and I believe that if Shan’er were to marry into your family you would never treat her poorly. But Shan’er is already of the age for discussing a marriage, while Bailin is still in mourning, and he is a little younger than Shan’er as well. Your aunt truly does not wish to wait indefinitely without resolution — and if some unforeseen circumstance were to—”
“Enough!” The Matriarch fixed her eldest daughter-in-law with a cold stare. “If you cannot speak properly, say nothing at all. No one has called you mute!”
Zheng Shi knew she had misspoken. She gathered her skirts and knelt, pressing her forehead to the floor, her shoulders trembling — not another word escaped her lips, yet her meaning was perfectly plain.
Hua Zhi gently turned the lid of her teacup and raised her eyes to break the silence. “As my aunt wishes.”
Zheng Shi had not expected it to be so easy. She had thought there would be drawn-out negotiations, perhaps even days of delay. Yet relief washed over her, and she felt the heavy weight in her chest finally settle. Hua Zhi was the one who made decisions in the Hua family now; what she said carried weight. This betrothal, spoken into existence by word of mouth, had at last dissolved in the same way.
Yet she could not be the one to acknowledge it. Zheng Shi rose to her knees, tear-streaked, and looked toward her mother-in-law with an expression of plaintive appeal.
The Matriarch smiled, but there was not a trace of warmth in her voice. “Since you were willing to set aside your pride to come this far, who am I to stop you? From now on, matters within your branch of the household are your own affair — there is no need to bring them to me any longer.”
Zheng Shi startled. She had wanted to take charge of household matters, yes — but not like this. Knowing her mother-in-law was angry over this affair, she hastened to beg forgiveness. “Mother, your daughter-in-law only meant—”
“If it passes through me, I will not consent to ending this betrothal.”
Zheng Shi lowered her head and fell silent.
The Matriarch gave a cold snort, turned away from her, and made no move to bid her rise — leaving her to kneel.
“Grandmother, let it be. Marriage should not be a source of enmity. My aunt cares for my cousin, and I care for Bailin. Let us simply say the two of them were not destined for one another.” Hua Zhi rose and gave a respectful bow. “May my aunt find a worthy match for my cousin.”
Zheng Shi found herself unable to respond and unable to decline. She knelt there, somewhat at a loss, and nodded her head in acknowledgement.
By this point the Matriarch had grown thoroughly weary of this daughter-in-law. She waved her hand and said, “You may go.”
Zheng Shi’s heart eased. She made her obeisance and left quickly — so long as the goal was achieved, she could grit her teeth and endure the rest. Surely this was not enough cause to make the master of the house put her away.
Hua Zhi sat down beside her grandmother, and with no outsiders present she spoke honestly. “From beginning to end, I never agreed to this match. Having my aunt be the one to raise the matter and end it is for the best — at least it won’t end unpleasantly and damage the affection between our families.”
“Only you would think that way. Anyone else would assume the whole family looked down on Bailin — what affection would be left to speak of?” The Matriarch sighed. “But that is exactly what this is — they do look down on him. Does she think everyone else is a fool? The saying that a man should choose a virtuous wife is truly without error. Your eldest uncle has grown more and more unreasonable these past few years.”
“He is not so bad. Setting aside how he once protected my mother — even this past year, he has not treated us as people to be avoided and kept at a distance. To have managed even that much is no small thing. One cannot ask for more.”
The Matriarch patted the hand of the granddaughter still offering her comfort, her heart filled with a disappointment in her eldest son and his wife beyond all expression. Let the young not be underestimated — there would come a day they would have cause to regret this. She could only hope that Zhi’er truly had not taken it to heart.