Unfortunately, meeting her now was not possible — for the sake of stability in the palace, and for the sake of the bond between mother and son.

Gu Yanxi lifted the teacup and placed it in his grandmother’s hands. “There will come a time.”

“This cannot be used as an excuse to delay the tributes owed to Us either. Those little delicacies she makes — We are quite fond of them. You tell her that from now on, Our share must be on par with Shao Yao’s.”

“Yes. This grandson will tell her when he returns.”

The Empress Dowager looked at him for a moment, feeling a pang of regret — yet glad for him too. At last there was someone who meant he need not carry everything alone, need not feel that nothing mattered. Such a clever and capable young woman — surely she could shoulder some of what this ill-fated grandson of hers had to bear. She also believed that any woman trusted so deeply by a judge as sharp as Shao Yao could not be lacking in character. One need only look at how she treated Shao Yao to see it clearly — what sister-in-law treated a sister-in-law so well?

After a sip of tea, the Empress Dowager spoke as if in passing: “The palace has been quite lively of late. Noble Consort Yue enjoys the full warmth of the Emperor’s favor, and they say she even went to Consort Gui Xu’s quarters to make a show of strength. The two sides are now officially at odds.”

“Which side has the upper hand?”

“Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Noble Consort Yue is newly arrived, young and fresh — exactly when she is most prized. But Consort Gui Xu has monopolized the Emperor’s affection for years and holds a different kind of place in his heart. Apart from Noble Consort Yue, the Emperor still visits her from time to time. Her advantage is having the Fourth Prince in her corner — Noble Consort Yue may not have that same opportunity.”

Gu Yanxi formed his own assessment, and was content to let them wrestle with each other — it kept their attention away from Little Six.

By the time evening had fully fallen, Gu Yanxi had shared the meal with his grandmother, sat with her a while longer in conversation, and was at last preparing to take his leave.

“Take this to the Hua girl.” The Empress Dowager received a brocade box from Yuxiang, ran her fingers over it, then passed it to her grandson. “This set of jewelry was added to our trousseau by Wan Niang’s mother at the time of our wedding. The family situation was complicated then; the old woman loved Us dearly, afraid that Our bridal gifts would be sparse and We would be looked down upon, yet also afraid of overstepping and upsetting Our family. She quietly added a great deal, and this ruby set was among the pieces she included.”

“There is no need for this, Your Highness.”

“Take it when it is offered.” The Empress Dowager pressed the box into his hands. “Making its way around, it has come back to the great-granddaughter of that same old woman — if she has any awareness in the afterlife, she would surely be pleased. In this life of Ours, for all that We appeared to dwell in wealth and dignity, We could rarely move freely. We could not protect the Hua Family; Wan Niang died too young. When We go to the afterlife, We will not have the face to meet her.”

“Please do not speak this way. The entire Hua household cherishes the memory of your protection. Had you not extended your hand, they would likely have —”

“So now you are standing on their side to thank Us.” The Empress Dowager gave this grandson of hers, whose heart was clearly turning toward another household, an exasperated swat, then sighed. “You know as well as We do — We were only following the current. The opportunity was there.”

Had the Emperor not already decided not to go to the extreme, someone else would have stepped in to plead on their behalf even without her. Better that she be the one to do it and become the magnanimous one — at least she would not then use it as leverage to flay the Hua Family alive in the name of debt owed.

“Enough, no more dredging up these unpleasant things. Go and rest well. Grand matters can wait a little longer. You must give Hua Zhi more protection — the Bureau of Seven Lodgings may appear to have been handed over to the court, but in truth it still rests in her hands. Wealth and profit move hearts, and the profits here are vast beyond measure.”

“Yes. This grandson has taken note.” Gu Yanxi looked up at his grandmother, whose eyes could not quite conceal their exhaustion. Here in this palace, one endured day by day — until the spirit was spent, until the lifeblood was spent — waiting for nothing more than the moment when even this shell of a body could finally be set down.

Gu Yanxi felt a constriction in his chest. He said quietly: “Grandmother, please take care of yourself. I will bring you out of this palace so you may live out your remaining years in peace.”

The Empress Dowager was startled — and for all that she had weathered great storms over a lifetime, she very nearly lost her composure. Her lips moved several times before she managed to press out the words: “Good. Good. Your grandmother will wait.”

Gu Yanxi performed a full formal bow, then turned without looking back and walked away with long, unhurried strides.

Yuxiang, who had been standing watch at the palace gate all this while, came forward now to help her mistress sit down. “It is for the sake of the good days ahead that you must look after your health. Let them make their scenes — we will close our doors and pay no mind to any of them.”

The Empress Dowager pressed a handkerchief to the corner of her eye and shook her head with a soft sigh. “So long as one is within this palace, there is no avoiding any of it. The Emperor has not named an empress, and the phoenix seal has sat in Our hands for many years — who would not need to make the trip to Our quarters a few more times? And then there is that Noble Consort Yue — do not be deceived by her youth. Her methods are without end. Not long ago, did We not hear that she prescribed a remedy for some female official and cured her illness? Once the woman recovered, would she not be utterly devoted? If only she had no child to her name — otherwise, Consort Gui Xu might not be her match.”

Yuxiang could only remain silent. For those who had spent long years in the palace, even the Empress Dowager, to truly stand apart from its currents — how could that ever be easy?

“We may step away from it all for a short while now and then. Tomorrow, have word put out that for the coming month, We intend to devote Ourselves sincerely to prayer and worship. We will receive no one.”

“Yes.” Yuxiang acknowledged this, then ventured to ask: “And if His Majesty should come —”

“Show him to Our meditation room. Once he knows what We are occupied with, he will be at ease.”

“…Yes.”

Looking out at the small patch of sky visible beyond the palace walls, the Empress Dowager’s eyes filled with longing. To leave the palace — that was the only thing she had ever allowed herself to hope for in this life. If she could not have it while she yet breathed, then before she died she would leave word: do not bury her in the imperial mausoleum. To be laid to rest beside her own mother — that would be enough.

Gu Yanxi once again became a gentleman of the rafters.

He had only meant to take a quiet look at Hua Zhi and leave — but upon entering the room, he found himself met immediately by a pair of smiling eyes. Their owner lay stretched out on the daybed, hair falling loose on either side, adding a certain softness to her features.

Footsteps sounded behind him. He turned instinctively and saw Ying Chun walking ahead with a lantern to light the way, while Fu Dong followed behind with an enormous wooden tray in her arms.

“Not coming in?” Hua Zhi lifted the blanket and rose to sit at the table.

Gu Yanxi quickly went over and picked the blanket back up, tucking it over her legs. “Why haven’t you gone to sleep already?”

“I thought you would come.”

Ying Chun helped Fu Dong lay out the dishes, her expression caught between resignation and helplessness. “Miss was worried you might not have eaten well tonight. She had the kitchen keep something ready the whole time.”

A middle-of-the-night rendezvous like this — if word got out, her mistress’s reputation would be well and truly finished. But as worried as Ying Chun was, she had not stopped it either. She could only hope this man would remember how well Miss had treated him, and never betray her.

Hua Zhi had no idea what thoughts her senior maidservant was harboring. She picked up a pair of chopsticks and placed them in Yanxi’s palm. “You’ve already been spoiled by our cooks at home. How much of that cold palace food could you actually eat? I had someone make you a lamb broth. It’s good for the body in winter — drink more of it.”

“Will you sit with me and eat a little more?”

“I can’t manage another bite — I already had a bowl of broth earlier.” Hua Zhi smiled. “I broke the rule long ago, so no guilt about it.”

Gu Yanxi touched her face gently. “The old Madam would not blame you.”

“I’d rather she did blame me — at least then she might actually show up in my dreams.” Hua Zhi picked up another pair of chopsticks and began serving food into his bowl. “Eat while it’s hot.”

Gu Yanxi lowered his head and ate with genuine appetite. Though the meal at his grandmother’s had not been cold fare exactly, he had not eaten much of it. He simply loved eating here at Hua Zhi’s table — whatever it was, it always tasted good.