This time, when Hua Zhi said she would rest, she truly did. She even forced a pause on the ceaseless workings of her mind. She did not want to become that tragic figure who sacrifices herself to carry everyone else forward — that kind of place in the annals of history held no appeal for her whatsoever.

If, in the end, everything could be made right, she hoped to live to see it. She hoped to enjoy, with her own hands, the peace and happiness she had struggled with everything she had to bring about. She did not need anyone to erect monuments in her honor — she did not want the people returning from the front to find only a handful of yellow earth in her place.

She wanted to live!

And so, the very next morning, she began a deliberate program of physical conditioning. The long covered corridor was ideal for running — she walked back and forth along it slowly at first, then broke into a light jog, stopping to walk again whenever her body could not sustain it, repeating the cycle until her whole body was warm. Then she stopped.

“Miss, Divine Physician Yu has arrived.”

In fact, Divine Physician Yu had been there for a little while. Watching her take such care of herself, he felt genuinely glad — both privately, because he hoped this young woman who had given so much for her family might enjoy good health and wellbeing, and as a subject of Daqing, because he prayed she would have a body strong enough to bear the weight of all those affairs. He too longed for Daqing to come out of this war as the victor.

Hua Zhi greeted him with a respectful curtsy.

Divine Physician Yu lifted his hand lightly in acknowledgment. “How are you feeling?”

“My body feels somewhat lighter.”

“That is a good sign.”

Hua Zhi smiled softly. “Please wait a moment while I change.”

In the main hall, Divine Physician Yu withdrew his hand from her pulse. “At its core, it is still deficiency. The repeated depletion over these past two years has left your body unable to bear it. Young lady, I do hope you will heed this old man’s counsel and not be careless about it for the sake of your future well-being. A woman’s constitution is, after all, not the same as a man’s.”

“I will, and I am grateful for the reminder.” Hua Zhi pulled down her sleeve. “If I were to continue exercising as I did this morning — or even increase the intensity — would my body be able to manage it?”

“That would indeed be excellent — but it must be gradual. Do not rush.”

“Understood.”

Divine Physician Yu placed the medicinal pillow into his medicine box and prepared to take his leave. He had another visit to the palace today to check Empress Dowager’s regular pulse — this was a task his young apprentice had asked of him before departing.

Hua Zhi watched the old man’s slightly stooped figure and rose to give a deep, respectful curtsy. “For what happened in the palace earlier — I am sorry. And thank you for not exposing me.”

Divine Physician Yu paused in his movements. He turned back to look at the young woman standing with her head bowed, her expression unreadable, and let out a long breath. “That is all in the past. There is no need to bring it up again.”

“I used your good-heartedness against you.” Had she not learned from the old physician the way medicines worked together — supporting or counteracting each other — had she not carefully guided him with subtle questions to deduce the late Emperor’s physical condition at the time, learning that the Emperor had maintained a precarious balance, she would not have dared to place that wager: applying the medication to his garment to trigger the aphrodisiac properties of musk and break that balance.

Against the Emperor, she could be as ruthless as needed. But facing this old man, she could not free herself of guilt.

“You have been carrying this all this time, I suppose.” Divine Physician Yu let out another sigh. “You did what you did — do not torture yourself over it. Excessive brooding does your body no good.” He continued, “His constitution was already at the end of its strength. Even without your intervention, he would not have lasted many more days. Yet had it not been for you breaking the deadlock and preventing them from having their way in the end, who knows how many lives would have been lost. I know my apprentice well — anyone she has taken into her heart, she will protect even at the cost of her own life. At that point, how could I have kept myself out of it? When you came to me with those questions, I already guessed what you were planning to do. My not stopping you amounted to tacit agreement. You have nothing to blame yourself for.”

Whether it was consolation or the simple truth of the matter, Hua Zhi felt something loosen and lighten in her chest. She gave another deep curtsy.

Divine Physician Yu received her bow with a heart full of quiet feeling. If only she were truly the cold and ruthless sort, it would be one thing — but this was all just an empty shell of cold and ruthless. Underneath, she was so tender. To have made those decisions, one after another, and carried within her all the weight they brought — no wonder she brooded herself to exhaustion. It was fortunate that she possessed such resilience of spirit. Anyone else would have buckled long ago.

Two days passed. Hua Zhi visited her mother, spent time with each branch of the household, and exercised — and in what felt like the blink of an eye, it was over.

When she appeared before everyone again in her official’s robes, those two days of ease seemed as though they had been nothing more than imagination.

She did not rush to the palace. First, Hua Zhi went to the clan school.

The sound of young voices reading aloud in unison is something that can cleanse the soul. She listened for a moment from outside, and her expression softened without her realizing it. It had been quite a few days since she had last come here — busy, always rushing from place to place — and giving lessons here herself felt like something from a long time ago.

“It is Elder Sister!”

Someone spotted her, and the reading voices stopped. A crowd of children, big and small, came tumbling out together. They saw her official’s robes and wanted to draw near but dared not step forward — all except Zeng Han, who had no such hesitation. He charged straight over and buried his face against her leg, wrapping his arms around it and going still.

With him taking the lead, those who had already been itching to do the same swarmed around her in an instant, one voice after another calling out to her as Elder Sister.

Hua Zhi patted Zeng Han’s head, nodded with a smile to Zheng Zhi and Mu Qing as they stepped out, and let her gaze settle on all those children with their clear, bright eyes.

Her greatest achievement was not becoming Daqing’s first female official, nor how much silver she had earned, nor her far-reaching fame. It was that the children of this family were still innocent and ingenuous — still content within this small world, receiving the Hua Family’s heritage quietly and safely. They would surely grow to become the most wholehearted of Hua Family descendants. Assuming, of course, that Daqing emerged from this war as the victor.

“Have you been working hard?”

The children, big and small, all nodded at once, and erupted in a clamor of voices — talking about what books they were currently reading, what they had come to understand, who had scored highest in the last examination and earned the top mark, and so on.

Hua Zhi sat down on one of the stone chairs and listened attentively, and in the eagerly expectant eyes watching her, she praised what deserved praise, offered observations where they were needed, and gave encouragement where it was called for. Zeng Han leaned against her side without a word, clinging to her in a way that was meant to be discreet but was perfectly obvious to everyone.

“Elder Sister, when I grow up I want to be an official too.” A child with fine, delicate features suddenly called out.

“Then you had better grow up quickly.”

The child nodded vigorously. “When I am an official, Elder Sister can rest.”

A warmth bloomed in Hua Zhi’s chest. “Very well — when you become an official, Elder Sister will come back and be a teacher again.”

“Then let Ninth Brother be the official — I am not going to be an official. I still want to be Elder Sister’s student.”

The child addressed as Ninth Brother looked deeply conflicted — he wanted to stay as Elder Sister’s student too!

Hua Zhi laughed, touched a hand to the child’s face. “Time for class now. All of you, work hard.”

“Yes, Elder Sister.”

The children trailed inside with many backward glances. Only Zeng Han stood his ground, unmoved by a single step.

Hua Zhi drew him in front of her and looked him over with quiet satisfaction — he had grown taller, and there was a little more flesh on his face. But his expression, even now, had a gravity beyond his years compared to other children his age. “Are you well?”

Zeng Han nodded, then reached up and gently poked Hua Zhi’s cheek. “You are not.”

“Things have been very busy lately.” Hua Zhi smiled a little. “If you want to read something, you can go to my study and take from there — but be mindful not to take on too much at once.”

Zeng Han nodded again.

“Your teacher is about to begin the lesson now.”

Zeng Han did not move.

Hua Zhi assumed he had something to say and was about to ask — when the small child turned and went pattering off at a run.

She did not dwell on it and walked toward the corridor pillar where Zheng Zhi was leaning.