By the time Hua Zhi pulled Shao Yao out of the physician’s hall, the sun had already sunk low in the west. Dr. Chu accompanied them all the way down the front steps. “Should Shao Yao have leisure time, please know you are welcome to come and find this old man anytime.”
Realizing how that might sound, he quickly added a clarifying sentence: “To come and discuss formulas with this old man, that is.”
It was the first time Shao Yao had ever been able to discuss formulas with anyone other than her master. The excitement still had not fully left her, and she nodded enthusiastically. “I will certainly be coming back. Please do not grow tired of me, Dr. Chu.”
“I would never dream of it.”
The two boarded the carriage. Shao Yao threw off her veil-hat, latched onto Hua Zhi’s arm, and chattered away with great delight: “Dr. Chu has such skill in medicine, and such fine character as well. I must come and see him again!”
“So happy, are you?”
Shao Yao nodded vigorously, her eyes bright and sparkling.
Hua Zhi had been on the verge of reminding her to bring someone along next time so as not to raise eyebrows, but looking at that expression, the words simply would not come. She told herself she would simply keep it in mind herself. “When we return from the North, I’ll bring you to Dr. Chu’s home properly — you’ll need to pay your respects to Madam Chu first.”
Shao Yao smiled and nodded contentedly. “Whatever Hua Hua says.”
Hua Zhi was becoming increasingly convinced she had somehow ended up with a daughter she hadn’t bargained for…
On the day of their departure, the entire Hua household stirred earlier than usual.
The senior maids moved in and out, checking and re-checking the packed belongings again and again, terrified of leaving anything behind. If they could have managed it, they would gladly have taken this journey in their Young Miss’s place.
Hua Zhi was dressed in a riding ensemble of a fitted upper garment and trousers, her feet in leather boots, all her hair gathered and pinned at the crown of her head. The effect was striking and gender-ambiguous in equal measure.
Madam Zhu could not bear the parting, yet the thought of her husband in the North meant she could not bring herself to ask her daughter to stay. She hovered around her daughter like a flustered fly with no fixed course.
Hua Zhi said nothing. She sat at the vanity, looked into the mirror, and began to apply cosmetics — within moments, the beauty that was altogether too striking had been concealed, leaving her looking like a somewhat fine-featured young man.
She looked at herself from left and right, satisfied that it would do. Setting down her brow pencil, she picked out a few items from the vanity table and set them aside, signaling Liu Xiang to put them away. These were all things she would need along the road.
“Zhi’er…”
“Please don’t cry.” Hua Zhi sighed helplessly. She had never known what to do with this soft, gentle mother of hers. “It’s not as though I’m leaving and never coming back…”
“Bite your tongue!” Madam Zhu shot her a sharp look. What a thing to say right before setting out — what terrible luck those words brought.
Hua Zhi drew her mother down to sit beside her. “Go and call Bai Lin. Let us all eat a meal together as a family.”
Hua Bai Lin was standing just outside the courtyard with his head tilted back toward the sky, as though that might help hold the sorrow back and keep his tears from falling.
As the eldest brother, as his younger brothers’ teacher — he had long since lost the right to cry.
Hua Zhi knew him too well to expose the pride of her young would-be man. She waved him over with easy warmth. “Come and keep Mother and your elder sister company for a meal.”
The three of them ate little throughout. Hua Zhi had intended to eat heartily — once on the road, one could only make do with whatever was available — but watching the two of them unable to swallow a bite, her own appetite deserted her. She set down her chopsticks. “Mother, for anything you can’t decide on your own, just let Nanny Lin make the call. And if anyone comes to you with words of any kind, have them wait until I return and bring the matter to me.”
Madam Zhu’s eyes glistened as she nodded. “I know. I won’t cause you trouble.”
Hua Zhi did not linger on the matter of trouble. She turned to look at her brother. “The most important man in the Hua Family right now is you, Bai Lin.”
“I will take good care of my younger brothers, and of everyone at home.” Hua Bai Lin’s eyes were red at the rims. “Elder Sister — I will do well. You don’t need to worry about home. Out there, please keep yourself safe. Nothing is more important than you.”
Only ten years old. Hua Zhi stepped close and drew him into a quiet embrace, concealing her heartache. “If you encounter something you can’t handle, shut the gates and don’t worry about any of the business outside. Wait for me to come back.”
Hua Bai Lin gripped her sleeve with both hands and forced his tears back by sheer will. In that moment, his desire to grow strong reached its absolute peak. He wanted to shelter her as she had sheltered him, to shoulder all hardship in her place, to let her go back to living the peaceful life she once had. He wanted to become the one who would hold up the Hua Family and protect it from all that threatened it.
After a final pat on her brother’s shoulder, Hua Zhi went to take her leave of her grandmother.
The old madam pressed a letter into her hands. “This is for your grandfather. Go in peace, and come back in peace — the Hua Family cannot do without you.”
“Yes. I will act within my means.” Hua Zhi knelt and kowtowed in farewell. “Grandmother, please above all take care of your health. You are the steadfast foundation of the Hua Family.”
The old madam had Nanny Su help her to her feet, and found that though she wanted to say a few more things, there was nothing left to add. This granddaughter was capable enough that she needed no guidance from anyone on how to conduct herself — and had already arranged every matter within the household down to the last detail.
“Come home safely.”
“Yes.” Hua Zhi looked up at her grandmother, whose every line now showed the weight of age. “I take my leave now, Grandmother.”
No sooner had Hua Zhi gone than Shao Yao appeared out of nowhere and slipped into the old madam’s courtyard. Truth be told, she had not been looking forward to making this visit at all — hmph, the Shizi was always finding ways to make her life difficult!
In the alley outside the Hua Family’s eastern side gate, several fine horses stamped and snorted, breath curling in the air. Even at a single glance it was clear these were nothing like the horses from an ordinary livery stable — these had been sourced by Shao Yao.
Alongside Hua Zhi stood Shao Yao, and behind them six loyal Hua Family retainers, with the family members who had come to see them off arrayed further back — both the main branch and various collateral branches.
Master Mu had come as well, bringing all of the clan school’s children with him. He wanted these students to remember: who it was that had held this family together in its most difficult hour. So that when they grew up, when their own wings had hardened, when selfish desires began to stir within them — they could not forget what the First Young Miss had given to the Hua Family.
Hua Zhi said nothing at all. She swept her gaze around the assembled faces, gave a graceful curtsy, and walked out through the gate.
Hua Bai Lin ran after her, and watched as his elder sister swung nimbly into the saddle, urged the horse forward, and rode away without once looking back.
Madam Zhu wept until she could barely stand, and her tears drew red eyes from the others around her — whatever private calculations they may have each harbored, in that moment, every one of them felt a genuine gratitude toward Hua Zhi.
They had set out early, and when the party reached the city gate, it was opening just as they arrived. Filing out with the flow of people, Hua Zhi was just about to give her horse its head when she saw a lone rider approaching unhurriedly from ahead — someone she knew all too well at a glance.
“Master Lu, you…”
“Shao Yao said this is your first time traveling far from home and begged me to come along. I happened to be idle of late, so I agreed.”
Shao Yao dearly wanted to grab Hua Hua by the shoulders and declare that not a single syllable of that had anything to do with her — she had absolutely not begged the Shizi for anything. She would never dare ask the Shizi to serve as a bodyguard!
But she didn’t dare say so. When Hua Zhi glanced over at her, she nodded along listlessly in agreement. “It’ll be safer with Elder Brother Yan along.”
Hua Zhi still felt it was not quite proper. She could treat Shao Yao without formality — but Master Lu was not someone she could be informal with. Unable to refuse outright, she only said: “If Master Lu is leaving, won’t the household…”
“The First Young Miss need not worry. I’ve asked an associate to stand in for me for a while.”
“My grandmother likely would not agree to have an unfamiliar man enter the house…”
Shao Yao quietly confessed: “I spoke to the old madam about it already.”
Hua Zhi gave her a look. To think she had kept this from her.
Shao Yao was thoroughly aggrieved inside and had nowhere to air her grievances — it was the Shizi who had threatened her that if she didn’t help, he wouldn’t let her go along at all!
Author’s Note: My friend asked why I was crying. I told her I’d moved myself to tears writing the sibling scene. She mercilessly laughed at me. Those who’ve read my novels likely already know — I don’t like to put the knife in where the romantic feelings are. I love to put it in the bonds of family and friendship. In my view, family and friendship are sometimes far more beautiful than a troubled love story.