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He Youyuan had not only replaced the words “diamond” on the chemistry exam paper with “the mouth of the stinky-faced pineapple,” but had also drawn a cartoon figure in the blank space beside the question — a little girl with her hair in a ponytail, her bangs not quite reaching her eyebrows, with a single cowlick sticking up, her arms folded across her chest, her expression utterly contemptuous. In the upper-left corner floated a speech bubble.
“Ha, diamond? Can anything be harder than my mouth?”
Though sketched simply with a black pen, the likeness was so vivid it was as if the person had stepped right off the page.
Li Kuiyi only needed one glance at the cartoon to be certain — this so-called “stinky-faced pineapple” referred to none other than herself.
She instantly sucked in a sharp breath, and her heart suddenly began pounding violently — at this moment, she had no desire to dig into why he had called her “stinky-faced pineapple.” She only prayed that the two teachers standing before her would not notice anything suspicious.
He Youyuan, you court your own destruction — so why drag me into it?
She glared at him furiously, raising her eyes with barely concealed rage.
He Youyuan met her gaze with righteous indignation, squinting sideways at her: You’re the one who called me a dog!
Li Kuiyi grew even more furious, her brows knitting tightly: There are so many dogs in this world — who would know you were the one being referred to? But what do you think you’re doing by drawing that picture right next to it? How is this any different from a wanted poster?
He Youyuan’s eyes darted away briefly, yet he remained defiant: It’s my fault for drawing it too well?
The two chemistry teachers pressed the two exam papers together, studying them carefully for quite some time, before suddenly exchanging a glance, sensing something was off — what were the odds that two students who seemed to have absolutely nothing to do with each other would do the exact same foolish thing?
Vanishingly small, right? Especially Li Kuiyi — she was first in the entire year. How could someone so composed and sharp-minded suddenly do something so childishly immature? As the saying goes, when something is out of the ordinary, there must be a reason…
A puppy love affair. This absolutely has to be early romance.
Didn’t it look just like a young student couple having a spat? The two of them taking out their grievances on the chemistry exam paper together — you call me a dog, I call you a stinky-faced pineapple — flirtatious bickering, wasn’t it?
What made things worse was that the cartoon figure He Youyuan had drawn looked more and more familiar the longer they stared at it — so familiar it was as if they had just seen this person moments ago.
The two chemistry teachers suddenly had a flash of inspiration, and in unison snapped their heads up to look at Li Kuiyi.
Good heavens — it looks exactly like her!
Li Kuiyi’s heart lurched with dread. She felt truly finished. She suddenly understood what it meant to be unable to defend oneself with a hundred mouths, and could only involuntarily pull her lips back into a smile at them — attempting to conceal the fact that she had a perpetually sour expression — but the smile came out even uglier than crying.
If she were to be misunderstood as being in a relationship because of this, she would definitely curse every last one of He Youyuan’s ancestors going back eight generations. Being publicly criticised in front of the whole school was a minor matter — what mattered was that she did not want her parents called in, and moreover, the image of a well-behaved, diligent student she had painstakingly cultivated in front of Chen Guoming over these past days would completely collapse — she also had no desire to be dragged back to run morning laps!
He Youyuan, you truly have done a great deal of harm.
After a long moment, the chemistry teacher from Class One adjusted his glasses and said, half-seriously, half-teasingly: “I feel like the person in this drawing looks a bit familiar.”
Li Kuiyi let out an awkward “ah,” pretending to know nothing, and leaned over to look at the drawing on the exam paper. He Youyuan, by contrast, stood perfectly composed and admitted it without hesitation: “Oh, it’s her.”
The admission came so swiftly it caught the two teachers off guard, and they appeared slightly embarrassed, as though they had inadvertently glimpsed some truth.
“So you two know each other,” the chemistry teacher said with a chuckling smile that carried something of a hidden edge.
“Of course we know each other — we’ve known each other for a while,” He Youyuan said, the corners of his mouth curving casually. “Without a bit of a connection, it’d be hard to have this kind of tacit understanding between us, wouldn’t it?”
The two teachers exchanged another silent glance. He Youyuan’s words clearly held a double meaning: first, that they knew each other, but only as friends; second, that since he had used the word “tacit understanding,” today’s incident was purely coincidental.
Should they believe him or not?
Just as the atmosphere grew slightly tense, the chemistry teacher from Class Twelve suddenly noticed a blind spot — what Li Kuiyi had written on her paper read: The hand bones of a dog are the hardest substance in nature, the only substance at hardness level 10 on the Mohs scale.
The hand bones of a dog…
Hand bones.
If they’d never held hands, how would she know whether the other person’s hand bones were hard or not?!
He Youyuan’s writing was even more outrageous — the mouth of the stinky-faced pineapple is the hardest substance in nature.
The chemistry teacher furrowed his brow, momentarily unable to determine whether this so-called “hard mouth” described a kind of physical hardness or a kind of rhetorical stubbornness.
Good grief, this was truly difficult to handle! He had not anticipated this at all — he had only intended to criticise He Youyuan for scribbling all over the exam paper, yet in doing so had inadvertently unearthed such a monumental secret.
When in doubt about how to proceed — there was only one option: take it to Chen Guoming.
Chen Guoming: “…”
Li Kuiyi — how can it be you?
He Youyuan — how is it you again?
At this moment, Chen Guoming felt that decades of devotion he had poured into teaching students had been utterly squandered. The last time he encountered them at the barbecue stall, they had said they were not in a relationship — just classmates helping each other out. This old fox who had sparred wits with students for so many years had naively believed them! And yet, not even a month later, the two of them were being delivered together right to his doorstep, the black words on white paper attached to the exam practically blinding him.
“Give me an explanation,” he said, his tone very calm — but it was precisely this excessive calm that made one’s heart tremble, as though a storm might arrive the very next second. “What’s all this about hand bones and mouths? Just what is going on?”
“Mr. Chen, this really was just a coincidence. As for why this coincidence occurred, I can explain to you from my own perspective why I wrote that sentence.” Li Kuiyi thought for a moment and organised her words. “It’s actually quite simple — just a few days ago, I got a new haircut, and He Youyuan mocked me for it. He said I looked like Watermelon Taro. I was furious, so I hit him. He dodged, and I only ended up hitting his hand. His hand was really hard, and the impact hurt my own hand as well, which made me even angrier, and so I wrote that sentence on the exam paper.”
When she finished, she turned to He Youyuan and gave a slight bow. “I’m sorry — hitting someone was wrong of me, and calling you a dog was also wrong of me. I apologise.”
He Youyuan: “…”
You really are quite the performer, stinky-faced pineapple. I don’t know where you learned how to deflect like that and swap blame around so neatly.
But the very next second, he accepted the baton with perfect seriousness: “That’s exactly what happened. After she hit my hand, her own hand was all red from the impact. So I asked her if it hurt, and she gritted her teeth and said it didn’t — that’s why I wrote on the exam paper that she had a hard mouth.”
When he finished, he mirrored her actions and gave Li Kuiyi a slight bow. “I’m sorry — mocking you was wrong of me, and calling you a stinky-faced pineapple was also wrong of me. I apologise.”
Li Kuiyi: “…”
Can you please stop copying my behaviour!
But she still rationally delivered a closing statement: “Now my perspective and his perspective have both been laid out with perfect clarity. To summarise, this incident was a coincidence — it may sound absurd, but that is the reality.”
Chen Guoming: “…”
You know full well that what you two are saying sounds absurd, don’t you?
“The two of you are singing in perfect chorus — do you think I’m easily fooled?” Chen Guoming sat unmovably as a mountain, his sharp gaze sweeping across both of them. “Do you yourselves think there’s anyone out there who would believe this story?”
Li Kuiyi stood with easy composure, her tone calm: “Mr. Chen, have you heard this quote — Sherlock Holmes once said that when you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. Sometimes facts are just like that. They may not quite align with most people’s expectations…”
He Youyuan stood to one side listening, his lips curving up soundlessly, thinking — stinky-faced pineapple, you’ve got nerve. You’re trying to talk Sherlock Holmes with Chen Guoming — isn’t that like a duck trying to talk to a chicken?
Sure enough, before Li Kuiyi had even finished, Chen Guoming cut her off: “Sherlock Holmes? A fictional character in a novel — his words can serve as evidence to support your argument?”
Li Kuiyi opened and closed her mouth, and with great difficulty changed course: “…Arthur Conan Doyle once said — when you have eliminated all which is impossible…”
Chen Guoming: “…”
He Youyuan: “…”
Remarkable. This person is absolutely impervious.
Chen Guoming said coldly: “What do you mean, eliminate all which is impossible? As I see it, the most likely explanation hasn’t been eliminated yet!”
“Mr. Chen, are you referring to —” Li Kuiyi ventured cautiously.
Chen Guoming did not beat around the bush and asked directly: “Are the two of you in a relationship?”
Both shook their heads simultaneously.
“No early romance? Then what is all this on the exam papers? What — out of nearly five or six thousand students in this school, only you two have some kind of telepathic connection?”
“As we just explained, it truly was a coincidence,” Li Kuiyi said, looking at him steadily.
“Do you even believe that yourself?” Chen Guoming seemed as though he had heard something amusing, letting out a cold scoff.
Li Kuiyi drew a quiet breath. “Of course I believe it, because that is the reality. I also don’t think that a mere handful of words and a small cartoon sketch are sufficient to confirm that we are in a relationship. If one truly wishes to establish that we are in a relationship, one would need far more concrete evidence — such as chat records confirming we have established a romantic relationship, or someone having personally witnessed us engaging in intimate gestures that couples do, like holding hands or embracing.”
Chen Guoming wiped a hand down his face, laughing out of sheer exasperation. He now felt that He Youyuan had been absolutely right — this girl truly had a hard mouth. Moreover, she was the kind with exceptional composure and logic — not the same as someone who stubbornly digs in without reason. So it was with these model students: when they were endearing, they were genuinely endearing, but the moment they went against you, they gave you more of a headache than any so-called troublemaker, because they were far too convinced of their own code of conduct — it was nearly impossible to fully talk them around.
“Fine. You say you’re not in a relationship — then produce the evidence that you’re not. I’m not the kind of unreasonable teacher who jumps to conclusions. If your evidence is solid, I won’t frame you without cause.” Chen Guoming suppressed the fire in his chest and forced himself to speak calmly. He felt that as year-level director, he had already been remarkably tolerant of this top-ranking student.
Hearing this, Li Kuiyi’s brows furrowed slightly.
Her instincts told her something was wrong.
She could not quite put her finger on what, having had no time to think it through in those brief seconds, and she turned involuntarily to glance at He Youyuan — just as his gaze met hers.
Their eyes held for a single instant before sliding apart, as though the two of them had suddenly sunk into a swamp, drowned up to the mouth by something called “evidence,” pressed down and suffocating, with nowhere to struggle free.
It might be simple enough to prove one had done something — but how did one prove one had not done something?
“No.” Li Kuiyi suddenly shook her head, carefully catching the fleeting, gossamer-thin thought drifting through her mind. “If you believe we are in a relationship, then it is equally up to you to produce the evidence that we are — and we have no obligation to prove ourselves.”
He Youyuan turned to look at her, his gaze intense and unwavering.