·

After the brief New Year’s holiday, the students returned to school like birds back to their cages, throwing themselves once more into their busy studies. In previous years, once the New Year passed, the Lunar New Year usually followed close behind — but this year was different. There was a gap of nearly fifty days between the solar and lunar new years, which meant that the second half of the second year of high school was unusually short, lasting only three months.

Once the current semester’s material was finished, the teachers immediately pressed forward into the next semester’s content without pause, pushing at a relentless pace. Jiang Jianbin said that before the academic proficiency examinations at the end of June, they would finish all new coursework, after which a first round of review would begin.

When the students heard the phrase “first round of review,” the reality of the college entrance examination finally began to sink in. By their calculations, time was pressing — in a few months, they would see off this year’s graduating third-years and find themselves next in line.

But children are children, with short memories. Before five minutes of anxiety over the college entrance examination had passed, they’d already pushed it out of their minds and started complaining about the endless test papers, the never-enough sleep, the too-hard rice the cafeteria served, how truly insufferable the homeroom teacher was, and how they just wanted to graduate already.

Perhaps because the days were short and the nights long, time in winter always seemed to pass quickly. Every morning during early reading, the sky was still dark; by the time a few classes had gone by, darkness was already creeping back in. Time slipped away like this, unnoticed, without warning. And before anyone quite realized it, final examinations were upon them.

Li Kuiyi helped He Youyuan study. After each tutoring session, she would mark off a small section of the textbook or her notes and tell him to go home and memorize it; the next day she would check his progress. To save her time, He Youyuan had begun cycling her home, and the short ride covered just enough distance for him to get through one small section of material.

When they reached the entrance of Li Kuiyi’s residential compound, the two would stop and stand together without saying much. Sometimes their eyes would meet for a fleeting moment before quickly sliding away, and they would say goodbye with reddened faces.

Ever since that night during the New Year holiday, the atmosphere between them had grown subtly charged. The moment He Youyuan leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers, Li Kuiyi had seen his dark, glistening eyes, and in the trembling breath beside her ear she had felt the helpless, uncontainable rush of emotion in a young man struggling to hold himself back. She had suddenly understood what he was about to do. Her body stiffened involuntarily, her mind going blank — she didn’t know whether she should push him away or do something else entirely. She had already felt the warmth radiating from his face. Just as he leaned a little closer, the bouquet she was cradling was compressed against his body, and the kraft paper wrapped around the flowers let out a small but distinct crinkle. He startled, and for an instant his senses seemed to clear. The tip of his nose grazed past her cheek and moved away.

Both their faces burned. They stood motionless in the darkness of the night, hearts thrown into disarray, at a complete loss.

A young person’s affection should perhaps be pure and unblemished, yet the act of a kiss carries a certain tinge of desire. This was not the first time he had wanted to kiss her, but at that particular moment, the inexplicable impulse had been overwhelmingly strong — his body had already been drawing toward her before his mind had a chance to react.

This physical longing was embarrassing.

Especially because a boy of sixteen or seventeen does not know how to handle such longing. He only felt that it was entirely wrong — as though this physical form of attraction might somehow taint the emotional affection he held for her in his heart.

Because of that almost-kiss, both of them blushed for a very long time — so severely that they couldn’t bear to look each other in the face at all. They had no choice but to tacitly avoid the subject, as though nothing had happened.

The final examinations lasted two days. Each subject’s testing time was aligned with that of the college entrance examination; the politics, history, and geography papers were combined into a single comprehensive exam just as in the real thing, and teachers would mark them using computers. In short, everything was conducted according to the standards of the college entrance examination. The teachers said this was to help students get used to the rhythm of the exam in advance.

After the examinations, the winter holiday was still not granted — supplementary classes continued as usual. During those classes, the final examination results came out. He Youyuan had performed very well, placing ninth in his year and earning a spot on the humanities honor board.

The photograph of him posted on the honor board was quite handsome — bold and expressive eyes, sharp and defined features. People were always finding excuses to walk past and steal a glance at that striking face, and soon enough, a few classmates began coming to ask him questions. They were all girls.

He Youyuan knew that the girls who came to ask him questions mostly had other motives. This wasn’t him being arrogant — it was just that while his grades had climbed into the upper tier of the class, they weren’t so exceptional that he was the obvious go-to. If you genuinely needed help, wouldn’t Li Kuiyi, Zhang Yun, or Chen Lu each be a far better option?

Most of the time he told them he didn’t know either and directed them to Li Kuiyi. But his feelings were complicated. Sometimes he secretly hoped that Li Kuiyi would see him helping other girls with problems and feel just a little bit jealous — perhaps even make a fuss with him about it.

But she didn’t.

She seemed not to have noticed at all, and he sulked over it instead, feeling as though she didn’t care about him. Then, after the school’s supplementary classes ended, Li Kuiyi gave him an early seventeenth birthday gift — a stunningly beautiful motorcycle assembly model — and he was won over again completely. He felt that she understood him perfectly. Boys, after all, want only one thing from a gift, and that thing is “cool.” The flashier the cool, the better. Besides, he had loved motorcycles as a child. He had even considered becoming a traffic officer when he grew up, just so he could ride a motorcycle every day.

Li Kuiyi was heading back to the county town for the New Year, and He Youyuan walked her to the bus station. They exchanged some lingering, soft words, and at the end he said casually: “This time it should be you who sends me New Year’s wishes first, right?”

“So should I say ‘Happy New Year’ or ‘Happy Birthday’?” Li Kuiyi asked.

As it happened, his seventeenth birthday fell on the first day of the Lunar New Year.

“You have to say both, of course.”

“Then should I say ‘Happy New Year’ first, or ‘Happy Birthday’ first?” Li Kuiyi asked, as precise as a contractor reviewing terms.

See — she did things exactly as he said. She really did care about him.

He Youyuan was thoroughly delighted. “Say ‘Happy Birthday’ first, then ‘Happy New Year.'”

“Oh. Okay.”

The moment of parting always seemed to stir up a different kind of feeling. He Youyuan looked at Li Kuiyi’s face and had absolutely no desire to let her go. That strange feeling came over him again — he really wanted to hold her, hold her tightly, bury his face in the curve of her neck, and nuzzle against her.

As he was imagining it, he began to doubt himself, wondering if he was terribly strange. Why was he acting like a dog?

After Li Kuiyi took the long-distance bus back to Wenxi County, it was Su Jianlin who came to pick her up — riding that old bicycle of his. She sat on the back seat and looked at his broad, steady back, and found herself thinking of He Youyuan. These two men felt completely different to ride with. Su Jianlin faced straight ahead, unhurried and serene — you knew he was heading somewhere specific. He Youyuan was reckless and free-spirited, the wheels spinning noisily as he pedaled; you never knew when he might suddenly turn off in some new direction.

The New Year passed as dull as ever. On New Year’s Eve, after finishing the reunion dinner, Li Kuiyi washed up early, got into bed, picked up a mystery novel she’d brought from home, and settled against the headboard to read. But this time her attention kept wandering; she kept picking up her phone to check the time, making sure she wouldn’t miss the moment the new year arrived.

The night deepened. Her grandmother, unable to stay awake any longer, gave up on watching the Spring Festival Gala and went to her room to sleep. In no time, soft snoring drifted over. Li Kuiyi had already lost her focus; the interruption prompted her to reluctantly lift her eyes from the book and look at the sleeping old woman. A sleeping person looks quite different from when they are awake. Li Kuiyi found the face at once familiar and strange, and she stared for a while at the wrinkles on the old woman’s face. Whether it was her imagination or not, she seemed to catch a trace of a scent — the smell of something in its twilight, like the liquid that collects in bruised, overripe fruit.

Honestly, that smell unsettled her. It was at this moment that Li Kuiyi suddenly realized — one day she too would grow old, and her face would be covered in wrinkles just like that.

Birth, aging, sickness, death — the ordinary course of life, she knew. But she genuinely couldn’t bring herself to imagine what she would look like then. She was sixteen now, still at the age people called a “girl.” At this age, whether plump or slender, hot blood flows beneath taut skin, carrying the scent of youth as it races forward — with it come trembling thighs, a bouncing chest, hair flying loose in the wind.

But when she grew old, her skin would dry and wrinkle, her back would curve and stoop, her mind would grow sluggish, and her burning, vigorous life would be locked inside a desolate, hollow shell of a body.

There was nothing to be done about it.

Involuntarily she lay down and slipped her hand beneath the hem of her clothes, feeling her own waist. The moment her fingers touched her skin, she thought of He Youyuan’s waist — another young body. Her waist was not as firm as his, but not exactly soft either; the slight curve of her lower abdomen and the ridge of her hipbones formed a wonderfully undulating wave. A youthful body — with nothing to do with romance or desire — full of vigor and exuberance.

She had developed a fondness for her own young body. Was that normal?

It was a question she wouldn’t have felt comfortable asking Liu Xinzhao in her weekly journal.

Just as she was lost in thought, the phone on her pillow suddenly lit up. She startled, as though caught doing something she shouldn’t, her heart lurching. She grabbed the phone and looked — it was a call from He Youyuan.

Why was he calling her at this hour?

Li Kuiyi was still puzzling over it when her eyes caught the time displayed at the top of the screen. They went wide — it was already past midnight!

She quickly climbed out of bed, grabbed a piece of clothing to drape over her shoulders, slipped out onto the balcony, and answered the call, keeping her voice low. “Hello.”

He Youyuan sounded absolutely indignant. “You didn’t keep your promise!”

“I’m sorry, it was my fault. I was reading while waiting for the new year, but I got too absorbed and forgot about the time.” As she said this, her face grew hot again. She was terribly worried that He Youyuan might have some kind of mind-reading ability and know what she had just been doing.

Of course, she firmly reminded herself, no one in this world can read minds.

“But you still forgot. You promised me.” His tone softened slightly, but he was still unyielding.

Li Kuiyi apologized sincerely: “I’m sorry. Can I say it now? Happy Birthday, and Happy New Year.”

He Youyuan fell silent on the other end. It seemed as though he wanted to forgive her but didn’t want to do so too easily.

Li Kuiyi racked her brain for ways to coax him, but she wasn’t with him — separated by the phone, what could she do? She paced the balcony in circles, nearly racking her brain empty, knowing all she had to do was say something he’d like to hear — but that sort of thing, she couldn’t bring herself to say.

“Actually…” She spent a long moment steeling herself, gritted her teeth, squeezed her eyes shut, and took the plunge. “Actually, I was just thinking about you.”

Complete silence on the other end.

After a long pause, his slightly husky voice returned: “Li Kuiyi — if you’re lying to me, I’ll never forgive you for as long as I live.”

Now Li Kuiyi wasn’t so sure herself.

Well… she had thought about his waist for a moment. Did that count as thinking about him?