The next day’s photoshoot went smoothly. Near noon, Zhou Mi received a call from Jijie saying that he had drunk himself unconscious yesterday and was sent to his place near the bar by friends. He had just woken up and asked if she wanted to have lunch together.
He was very apologetic during the call.
Zhou Mi had no negative emotions, just glanced around the studio: “It should end around one o’clock.”
Jijie asked for the location address.
Zhou Mi told him honestly.
Shortly after one in the afternoon, the photography team invited each other for lunch and also asked Zhou Mi if she wanted to join.
Zhou Mi shook her head, saying her boyfriend would come to pick her up soon.
The young male photographer shrugged with disappointment, “That answer breaks my heart.”
Zhou Mi smiled gently.
Jijie arrived very punctually. Today, he had surprisingly changed to a sports car, a white Carrera GT, a style that perfectly matched his demeanor and appearance.
After sitting in the passenger seat, Zhou Mi was a bit puzzled: “You changed cars?”
Jijie curved his lips: “No, my car is still in the bar’s parking lot. This is my sister’s car. I was in a hurry to come pick you up, so I borrowed it.”
He looked over his girlfriend: “No makeup today?”
Zhou Mi raised her hand to touch her face: “Yeah, I was busy until very late yesterday, too tired. I wanted to sleep in a bit more, just applied some sunscreen before coming.”
“You’re beautiful even without makeup.” Jijie withdrew his gaze and started driving. “What were you busy with last night?”
Zhou Mi described the situation to him honestly, but she simplified the part about Zhang Lian, afraid Jijie might overthink. She only referred to him as a male colleague from the company.
Jijie glanced sideways: “You should have told me clearly on the phone. I know BN’s owner’s second son; we often hung out together when studying abroad. I could have just called him for you.”
Zhou Mi pursed her lips: “You seemed to be having fun, I didn’t want to ruin your mood.”
Jijie sighed: “Why are you so well-behaved?”
“Well—” Zhou Mi said: “I’ve always been like this.”
Zhou Mi hadn’t expected that Jijie would take her directly to his elder sister’s home.
The detached manor was a cream-colored spired castle that belonged in Downton Abbey, surrounded by vast lawns and dense pine forests. The greenhouse along the way looked like a glass box stuffed with colorful silks from a distance.
Being led into the house by the butler, Zhou Mi began to regret why she had been lazy and not put on makeup this morning.
This regret became even stronger after meeting Jijie’s elder sister, Ji Nian.
Ji Nian had short hair and wore a wine-red fitted dress. She was strikingly beautiful with a slim figure, her skin tight and flawless. At thirty-five, she looked no more than twenty-five. The aura she emitted from within was also completely different from Jijie’s. She had a strong sense of class about her and didn’t mind at all letting people notice her superiority and aggressiveness.
But as soon as she spoke, Zhou Mi’s intuitive perception turned into a misjudgment.
She was very friendly: “You’re Mimi? We played in a trio before.”
Zhou Mi thought for a moment: “Are you ‘Don’t Hit Your…’?” After seeing her in person, she suddenly felt embarrassed to say her gaming ID because the contrast was quite large.
Ji Nian candidly completed the sentence with good humor: “Yes, I am ‘Don’t Hit Your Dad’.”
Zhou Mi: “…” No wonder the voice sounded so familiar.
After exchanging greetings, the three sat down at an ornately carved wooden table, and Ji Nian had some exquisite tea and snacks served.
Ji Nian picked up a bone china cup with wild strawberry patterns, took a sip, and smiled: “Let’s play together this afternoon.”
Jijie put a light green pastry in his mouth, mumbling: “I’m leaving this afternoon.”
Ji Nian’s expression immediately darkened, her tone suggesting she wanted to grab her brother by the ear: “What do you mean?”
Zhou Mi said, “I also need to go back to the photoshoot location this afternoon.”
Ji Nian said, “Why are you making your girlfriend work so hard?”
Zhou Mi was speechless for a second, then explained: “It’s not hard at all. Jijie takes very good care of me.”
Jijie glanced at Zhou Mi: “I want her to change jobs.”
Ji Nian said, “Let her come work for me.”
Zhou Mi blinked repeatedly.
Jijie folded his hands, his posture relaxed: “I was just about to talk to you about this.”
He tilted his head slightly, smiling: “My sister currently manages a clothing brand. You can join the marketing department, which also aligns with your professional interests.”
Zhou Mi’s face froze for a moment: “Huh? You’ve been arranging all this?”
“Yes,” Jijie didn’t deny it: “Since you said you planned to resign after the New Year, I’ve been considering where would be most suitable for you. After thinking about it, my sister’s place seems best, so I brought you to meet her today, to get acquainted. It’ll be easier for her to look after you in the future.”
He propped his face with his hand, looking back at her: “There’s less than a month until Spring Festival. Isn’t it time to mention your resignation plans to your leader?”
—
That evening, Zhou Mi returned home under the pretext of organizing her things, planning to stay there for one night.
She was inexplicably afraid that Jijie would again press her about whether she had submitted her resignation, so she chose to stay away.
Her body was filled with messy, complicated emotions, as if they were pulling her limbs in all directions, like a force, slight but prolonged, gradually causing her to crumble, her features blurring.
Her daughter hadn’t been home for some days, so Tang Peili was somewhat surprised and asked if Jijie had accompanied her.
“He’s at the company,” Zhou Mi said without looking sideways, carrying her handbag toward her bedroom.
Tang Peili looked at her, half-believing: “Did you fight with Jijie?”
Zhou Mi looked back: “No, I didn’t.”
Tang Peili followed behind, chattering: “Now I worry whenever I see you come back. Don’t end up like before, unable to maintain a relationship, and coming back dejectedly each time. Although your mother isn’t old, she can’t bear being distressed by you like this, she can’t lose face this way. Xiao Ji is a very good boy, hold onto him well.”
Zhou Mi’s jaw muscles tensed, and she suddenly lost the ability to speak.
Night fell. After showering, Zhou Mi had a short video call with Jijie in the living room that lasted less than three minutes, finally chasing away the suspicion that had been on Tang Peili’s face all evening.
Back in her bedroom, Zhou Mi sat in front of her laptop for a long time, her hands supporting her face, looking lost.
After coming to her senses, she opened Jenny’s WeChat and typed directly to state her purpose: Nini, I might resign after the New Year.
Jenny replied almost instantly:?
She surprisingly contradicted herself by using multiple punctuation marks: ????????????
Zhou Mi said: Don’t worry, during the one-month handover period, I will do my utmost to complete the two projects in my hands, especially BN. I will definitely finish it well.
Jenny quickly calmed down and only asked: Reason?
Zhou Mi’s eyes shifted a few inches from the screen, losing focus as she thought for a while, finally choosing to be honest: My boyfriend doesn’t want me to stay at Aoxing anymore.
Jenny replied with a [silly laugh] emoji, either amused by this reason or mocking her.
Then she quickly and systematically instructed: Go to the [HR] section in the enterprise WeChat backend to apply for resignation. HR will process it when they see it, but I guess you’ll probably be called in for a talk. Remember to stick to your original intention.
Seeing the last sentence, Zhou Mi was certain that her emoji was indeed scornful.
She didn’t argue a single word, just took a light breath and said thanks.
Zhou Mi opened the resignation interface and began selecting department, group, intended resignation date…
After carefully confirming one field after another, she scrolled down, put her hands back on the keyboard, preparing to carefully compose her reason for resignation.
Suddenly, her mind became a vast wilderness, with fierce winds raging, blurring her vision, and making her feel extremely uncomfortable.
Zhou Mi minimized the window, her gaze frozen on the computer screen, like a Dead Sea without ripples.
Suddenly, she spotted a PDF file among the desktop icons, named [Aoxing Job Resume].
Zhou Mi’s thoughts focused as she moved the mouse to open it.
She froze completely.
Her ID photo was at the top, showing a girl who was smiling at her as brightly as the sun.
Her hair was tucked behind her ears on both sides, her face full of vitality, her eyes clear, seemingly full of hope for the future.
Zhou Mi’s skin broke out in goosebumps as her experiences at Aoxing over the past half year came vividly to mind. Her brain seemed to be reactivated.
She remembered the self who had begun carefully operating a public account to get into Aoxing, who had watched and studied various case studies day and night; she remembered the self who, after passing the interview, had circled under the tree shade downstairs, almost wanting to dance with joy; she remembered the self who had blushed slightly when criticized and instructed during her first daily report; she remembered the self who had spoken up with creative ideas in the meeting room, taking the first step even if stuttering; she remembered the self whose palms had become slightly sweaty after talking with clients; she remembered the self whose emotions had surged when reviewing each proposal PPT from the team; she remembered her former leader Ye Yan’s fleeting tears on that morning of heartbreak, and the self who had been moved by her fragile courage.
Finally, she remembered what she had thought was the worst half month, when Zhang Lian had taken the same resume from her computer and given it to her in the hospital bed, telling her:
“Remember how you felt when you made your resume. Be sure of what you want, and don’t easily be diverted by anything.”
Without realizing it, tears had already covered her entire face.
Zhou Mi wiped her eyes hard with both hands, suddenly standing up from her chair.
She ran out of the house without looking back, ignoring whatever Tang Peili was shouting urgently behind her. She took a taxi to the high-end apartment near the company. The night wind was bitter, and she sprinted up the stairs.
After opening the door, the young man on the sofa was clearly startled by her state, wearing only pajamas and with a flushed face. He immediately got up and walked closer, asking with concern: “Baby, what’s wrong?”
Nana and Lulu also came over together.
Zhou Mi stepped back, breathing rapidly, gasping for air: “Jijie, I don’t want to resign.”
Jijie was stunned, his brows slightly furrowed: “Didn’t you just agree to resign this morning?”
Zhou Mi sniffed, her eyes burning again: “Yes, but I still want to stay at Aoxing.”
Jijie’s eyes darkened several degrees: “I’ve already given you so much time to consider, and I thought you had made up your mind. Why suddenly change your decision, rushing over in this state?”
It was this very sentence that completely broke Zhou Mi.
She stood there, her lips beginning to tremble uncontrollably: “I’m sorry, I really can’t keep this up anymore.”
Jijie didn’t speak further, his eyes quietly watching her, seemingly waiting for her to continue.
“I’ve been hiding from you all along. This is how I am. I’m not the cute, obedient girl you met the first time. I’m just this fickle person, emotionally sensitive and tangled, overthinking, and full of lies.”
She completely failed to suppress these emotions as they continuously poured from her eyes and lips, tumbling out in a mess, hot and humid: “I don’t know if it’s because you’re the client, or because I’m afraid of disappointing you, afraid of making you lose face in front of your friends, or maybe it’s none of these reasons, but simply because I’m very afraid that I’ll lose another relationship due to my previous personality, that ghostly appearance. I’ve already experienced two failed relationships, I don’t dare to release myself anymore, so I’ve been constantly putting on an act.”
Zhou Mi sobbed incoherently, struggling to maintain clear pronunciation: “I thought I could gradually adapt, gradually accept this brand new self who seemed better and more stable, but it’s not possible, I can’t do it. I feel tired, feel passive. Sometimes on weekends I just want to lie at home, read books, watch movies, but I dare not say it, afraid of disappointing you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, Jijie,” she apologized again and again: “I deceived you. I’m not the cute girl you had in your first impression. I’ve made a mess of my days, of my feelings. I’ve never clearly seen myself, always hitting the same wall, never daring to face my inner heart, always thinking of escaping when facing issues, thinking of covering up, thinking of getting by, thinking of using one pit to fill another.”
“I also want to tell you that I’m not well-behaved at all. I had an abortion last year, and I had casual hookups during my graduate studies. Even my parents don’t know this. I’ve never dared to say it, afraid of disappointing them, afraid of disappointing you.”
Zhou Mi wildly wiped her wet face with her wrists: “I thank you for being so good to me, so gentle, teaching me photography, taking me sightseeing, playing games with me, taking me to various cocktail parties and parties, helping me largely overcome social barriers, giving me various jewelry, clothes, and cosmetics, making me much prettier than before, becoming the kind of girl who would be envied.”
“—But for some reason, it just doesn’t work, it’s not right. I tried to fit in, but I really can’t. I feel especially floating, especially lost, feeling like I’m just a doddering dependent on others to live, without any sense of reality. On the contrary, when I’m working, I feel very grounded, which is why I’ve been lingering at the company all this time. I admit that besides being busy, there’s also a small part of the reason that I’ve been avoiding you, avoiding this kind of life.”
She swallowed hard, as if swallowing the saltiness and suppression of this long time: “I’m sorry, but I think I probably still prefer my previous life, where I could see my light and warmth, spend my own money to buy things I want, justifiably, without any psychological burden. When others introduce me, it’s by my name, not as someone’s girlfriend.”
“Playing everywhere is very happy, very carefree, but working at Aoxing seems to give me more security, satisfaction, self-respect, value, making me stronger, more determined, more aware of myself, realizing myself.”
She stopped her tears, her eyes burning: “I don’t know if you can understand what I’m saying, but right now I have only one thought in my mind: I can’t continue deceiving myself like this.”
“I don’t want to resign at all.”
“Aoxing is my original intention.”
“I want to stay at Aoxing.”