Zhou Mo didn’t say a word on the phone. He bought the fastest flight ticket to come over, and despite being called a pervert, he barged into the women’s restroom, knocking on each door to find his Shanshan.
He embraced her, kissing her forehead, nose, lips, and hair repeatedly, as if he had lost and found her again. His eyes slightly red, he murmured over and over, “It’s okay, it will pass, it will pass…”
Xu Shanshan bit Zhou Mo’s shoulder, crying until her back convulsed.
Zhou Mo’s heart shattered.
————
Gan Yiming’s assault on Xu Shanshan happened on Friday, and by the following Monday, Xu Shanshan had already completed her resignation procedures.
Her apartment lease still had two months left, so Zhou Mo stayed with her in A City, cooking for her, going out to buy groceries, and cuddling with her on the sofa to watch TV and listen to the rain. A red-hot charcoal fire burned in front of them, making the room and his body comfortably warm.
Xu Shanshan was fine when she wasn’t thinking about things, but once she thought about the incident, once she imagined Gan Yiming’s face, her whole body would suddenly turn cold as if she had fallen into an ice cellar.
As the weather warmed and with Zhou Mo’s companionship, Xu Shanshan’s condition gradually improved.
Gan Yiming had been married to Wei Changqiu for several years and had dated many escorts and kept many mistresses, but none were as young and vibrant as Xu Shanshan, making her unforgettable to him.
After Xu Shanshan’s resignation, Gan Yiming sent her many text messages: “Shanshan, I truly admire you,” “Shanshan, I can provide you with excellent material conditions. I know what Zhou Zisheng meant when he gave me your resume when you first came. I’m younger than Zhou Zisheng, with better stamina. Since you’re going to be with someone anyway, isn’t it better to be with a ‘brother’ than a ‘father’?”…
Gan Yiming’s messages sank like a stone in the sea, with Fan Linlang observing all of this.
Until the end of the second month, Xu Shanshan clearly remembered seeing a condom on the floor at the time, yet she began experiencing morning sickness. Zhou Mo accompanied her to the hospital for a check-up.
Seeing that both of them looked unwell, the doctor called Zhou Mo into the office and said earnestly, “I know you might not want this child, thinking you’re still young and lack a financial foundation. But your girlfriend’s body is very weak due to past untreated health issues. An abortion not only risks slow recovery or infertility but could also cause significant harm to her. There are also risks of abortion complications…”
Zhou Mo nodded and went out, sitting in the corridor outside the consultation room, his eyes dark and deep.
Shortly after, Xu Shanshan came out of the nearby bathroom, her voice soft: “A-Mo, I’ve decided. Let’s terminate this pregnancy.”
She knew the child was innocent, she knew she was the executioner of a life, but sorry, she was human, and she had her bad side. Her bad side couldn’t tolerate this child, this child of Gan Yiming’s, to the point where she wanted to take a knife and cut it out of her belly right now!
Why did it have to come to her…
Zhou Mo wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her in his embrace.
“Keep it. I’m willing to raise it,” he said, his tone very gentle, as if handling a fragile piece of porcelain.
Tears suddenly streamed down Xu Shanshan’s face: “I don’t want to. It’s not because I’m afraid you don’t want to, it’s really,” she poked her chest repeatedly, “I can’t bear it in my heart, A-Mo, I can’t bear it!”
Zhou Mo held Xu Shanshan tightly, no longer speaking.
Xu Shanshan wept in his arms.
That day, Fan Linlang happened to be at the hospital, coincidentally in the gynecology department on the same floor.
Xu Shanshan saw her former senior colleague but didn’t want to acknowledge her. However, it was Gan Yiming who owed her, not Fan Linlang. Xu Shanshan, holding Zhou Mo’s hand, nodded slightly to Fan Linlang.
Fan Linlang also nodded back to the young woman.
On their way home, Xu Shanshan and Zhou Mo decided to give each other a week to calm down.
That night, Fan Linlang and Gan Yiming embraced, and she told him about Xu Shanshan’s pregnancy check-up and that her boyfriend was Zhou Xing’s nephew.
“My wife is Wei Changqiu,” Gan Yiming said. He didn’t care about nepotism; what he cared about was that Wei Changqiu couldn’t bear children, and she wouldn’t allow him to have a child out of wedlock. When he was with other women, he mostly used protection, except with Xu Shanshan.
He had initially only wanted to try her once, but the young woman’s taste was too sweet, and he couldn’t control himself the next few times…
Gan Yiming, who grew up in a county town, still held onto the concept of continuing the family line. Xu Shanshan’s appearance and pregnancy made him feel it was destined. Over the past month, he had even considered divorcing Wei Changqiu for Xu Shanshan.
The day after Fan Linlang told Gan Yiming this news, Gan Yiming managed to find Xu Shanshan and Zhou Mo’s residence and argued with Xu Shanshan at the entrance of the residential complex.
After returning, Xu Shanshan told Zhou Mo about it. Her lips were trembling, but she still insisted on recounting the whole process coherently. Zhou Mo’s heart trembled with her eyelashes and lips. He felt unbearable pain for her and called Zhou Zisheng.
During this time, Gan Yiming’s behavior had been off, and Wei Changqiu had someone follow him. That person sent Wei Changqiu a video of Gan Yiming arguing with Xu Shanshan, in which the entire conversation could be heard clearly.
Wei Changqiu’s attitude towards Gan Yiming was less about demanding a husband’s fidelity and more about demanding a dog’s loyalty.
If the dog wanted to betray her, then naturally…
Walls have ears, and Zhou Mo’s aunt heard about Xu Shanshan’s situation. She invited Xu Shanshan to her home, intending to help persuade her nephew’s girlfriend to keep the child.
Xu Shanshan was afraid to go, but Zhou Mo said his aunt was very kind, so Xu Shanshan agreed.
It was a Thursday with clear weather.
Around noon, Zhou Mo drove to Hui Shang to pick up Zhou Zisheng. He had originally worried that Xu Shanshan wouldn’t want to go to Hui Shang, thinking of dropping her off first, but Xu Shanshan smiled and said, “It’s fine, I won’t get out of the car. No one will recognize me.”
Zhou Mo thought the car would just stop outside Hui Shang’s building, Zhou Zisheng would come down and get in, and the three of them would go to Zhou Zisheng’s home.
But neither Zhou Mo nor Xu Shanshan expected that at the same time, Wei Changqiu was causing a scene in the Credit Review Department, recklessly cursing about “a little intern seducing the department head” and “flaunting her charms shamelessly.”
Zhou Mo parked the car outside Hui Shang and got out to buy a pack of cigarettes.
Wei Changqiu had come down from the twenty-something floor to the lobby of Hui Shang, just in time to catch a glimpse of Xu Shanshan sitting in the passenger seat!
Before Xu Shanshan could react, Wei Changqiu’s group approached menacingly. Jiujiang Security’s people directly opened the car door and dragged Xu Shanshan out. They grabbed Xu Shanshan’s waist-length hair, and Wei Changqiu, with a vicious expression, raised her hand and slapped her.
More and more people gathered around.
“Slut,” “Whore,” “Scheming bitch,” “Seducing my Yiming”…
Wei Changqiu punched and kicked, hurling one insult after another. Xu Shanshan’s mind went blank with a buzzing sound.
The watching employees pointed and whispered. Zhou Mo heard discussions about “mistress,” “wife coming to make trouble,” and “even pregnant,” thinking they were talking about someone else. After he paid for the cigarettes and the crowd dispersed, he turned around to see Xu Shanshan with her hair disheveled, curled up miserably beside a trash can.
Zhou Mo’s pupils contracted sharply. He rushed over like lightning, calling “Shanshan, Shanshan” as he picked her up and ran towards the hospital…
Xu Shanshan’s mouth was slightly open, her eyes lifeless, making no sound.
Zhou Mo’s eyes were bloodshot, his throat bobbing, the entire person on the verge of collapse.
In the afternoon, after settling Xu Shanshan, Zhou Mo clutched a stack of pregnancy test reports, estimated conception dates, and recordings of Xu Shanshan’s calls to him, and rushed to the top floor of Hui Shang.
Zhou Zisheng was on the phone when he saw him come in. He paused for a moment, then covered the phone’s mouthpiece.
Zhou Mo had only one thought in his mind: he wanted Gan Yiming to be ruined, to suffer worse than being cut into a thousand pieces.
Trembling, Zhou Mo explained the situation to Zhou Zisheng. He pointed downstairs excitedly, describing how unreasonable Wei Changqiu had been. Zhou Zisheng was the highest-ranking leader of Hui Shang’s branch, and Zhou Mo sought justice from him.
Zhou Zisheng didn’t react.
Zhou Mo was anxious. He walked around to his uncle’s side, and then, unexpectedly, saw the surveillance footage playing on the screen—the light was quite dim, the angle quite skewed, but he could still see Xu Shanshan drinking that glass of water, Gan Yiming approaching her, and then… Zhou Mo’s mind wasn’t filled with thoughts of betrayal or infidelity, only that Shanshan had been violated. He could only see Gan Yiming’s beastly face.
This surveillance footage was like a flame in the darkness, warmly illuminating Zhou Mo’s eyes.
Gan Yiming’s date rape, Wei Changqiu’s slander and assault—it seemed like everything had found a breakthrough point.
“Uncle Zisheng, I need this…”
Before Zhou Mo could finish, Zhou Zisheng right-clicked.
The words “Delete” were too heavy. Zhou Mo didn’t dare let Zhou Zisheng press it. He said, “Uncle Zisheng, please copy it for me.”
“Uncle Zisheng, Shanshan is the person I want to spend my life with.”
“Uncle Zisheng, neither Shanshan nor I mind if this becomes public. We want Gan Yiming to go to jail.”
“…”
Zhou Zisheng remained unmoved, his mouse hovering over “Delete.”
Zhou Mo fell to his knees beside Zhou Zisheng with a thud.
Zhou Mo had always been strong-willed since childhood and even went through a rebellious phase in his teens. Zhou Zisheng had treated him like his own son, almost indulging his every reasonable request like a young master. Zhou Mo had never even bent his waist at home, but now, kneeling beside Zhou Zisheng, his eyes immediately turned red: “Uncle Zisheng, I love Shanshan very much, I love Shanshan so much, I love Shanshan…”
Zhou Zisheng’s eyes were half-closed as he clicked “Delete.”
Zhou Mo couldn’t come to his senses.
Zhou Zisheng gave Zhou Mo a deep look, then removed his hand from the receiver. He said to the person on the other end of the line, “Madam Wei, I’ve deleted the surveillance footage on my end. You should be able to see it remotely. Yes, it was the only copy of the surveillance, with no backup…”
Zhou Mo slowly raised his head, looking at Zhou Zisheng in disbelief.
Zhou Zixing hung up the phone, lifted his teacup, and lowered his gaze. “Wei Changqiu’s aim in escalating the situation is to gauge Huishang’s attitude. Huishang won’t touch her. The loan request from Jiujiang is complicated. I know you love Shanshan, and she’s a good child. I’ve saved some retirement money; you can use it to study abroad or immigrate…”
Meanwhile, at the hospital.
Xu Shanshan lay alone on the hospital bed. Wei Changqiu looked down at her condescendingly, one hand holding a tablet for remote connection, the other holding a phone on speaker.
Throughout the process, Zhou Zixing’s respectful tone resonated through the phone, Zhou Mo’s urgent voice, mostly obscured but noticed only by Xu Shanshan, echoed through the phone, Zhou Zixing’s response to Wei Changqiu sounded through the phone, and finally, the busy tone of Zhou Zixing hanging up reverberated through the phone, filling the spacious hospital room, ringing in Xu Shanshan’s ears.
“Child, if you want to keep it, I won’t stop you, but think it through carefully,” Wei Changqiu said, twisting the agate bracelet on her wrist. “I hear Zhou Xing’s nephew is your boyfriend. Is he at the B branch? Have you broken up? Does he know about your situation?” Wei Changqiu pondered for a moment, then added carelessly, “He and his uncle have a father-son-like relationship. Zhou Xing has refused to help me several times, but when I mention Zhou Mo’s name, he usually gives in after two days of consideration. Why don’t you try? Tell Zhou Xing that Yi Ming raped you, say you weren’t wearing a short skirt to seduce anyone, say you…”
Outside the window, the day was bright, and a bird’s wings fluttered as it perched on a treetop.
Xu Shanshan turned to lie on her side, a warm tear sliding from the corner of her eye, slowly seeping into the pillow.
Her aunt used to curse her as a “parent-killing jinx.” Xu Shanshan would think, stars are so lovely, every star is so lovely, why would anyone dislike stars?
Now, she thought, maybe there was some truth to it.
If she hadn’t met Mo, she’d probably still be rushing about the streets, doing part-time jobs for ten yuan an hour, hurrying to class, hurrying to deliver food, toiling like dust.
If Mo hadn’t met her, he might have met a girl as warm as him, a girl with a floor-to-ceiling window at home, sunlight falling through it, a girl whose eyes curved when she smiled, who spoke softly and gently, a girl who was excellent and confident, not like her, who had learned to cry at the slightest thing, learned to be helpless, learned to constantly bring him unsolvable troubles, to bring his uncle unsolvable troubles, to bring endless troubles to his family.
Wei Changqiu was right, and her aunt was right, she was a jinx, an eternal, perpetual jinx.
That afternoon, Zhou Mo went to see Xu Shanshan. He didn’t mention that Zhou Zixing had deleted the surveillance footage. He held the young girl tightly, comforting her: “We’re slowly figuring out a way. We’ll find a breakthrough. We’ll make them apologize to you and send them to prison.”
Shanshan seemed to be in a good mood, feeding Zhou Mo a spoonful of meat soup made by Zhou Mo’s aunt.
“Okay,” she said sweetly and softly, “I’ll wait for you to find a way, find a breakthrough, and then we’ll send them to prison.”
Zhou Mo kissed her forehead, full of pity.
Xu Shanshan buried her head in his shoulder and said softly, “Mo, I love you so much.”
“Shanshan, I love you too,” Zhou Mo gently stroked the young girl’s back.
Xu Shanshan’s throat felt as if it was choked with a damp ball of cotton. She struggled to force a smile at the hospital’s white walls.
That evening, Zhou Mo went home to get some things.
After he left, Xu Shanshan took a taxi to the riverside to see the view.
The neon lights were like ribbons, stars dotting the sky.
The night breeze was truly cool.
After leaving the hospital, Zhou Mo had a persistent, vague uneasiness. Halfway through his drive, he suddenly turned back. At the hospital entrance, he learned from the fruit stand uncle about a “girl in a hospital gown, seemed to take a taxi, said she was going to the riverside.”
Zhou Mo floored the accelerator. Xu Shanshan walked slowly along the steps by the river.
Zhou Mo lost count of how many red lights he ran. The river surged, waves lapping at Xu Shanshan’s waist. Zhou Mo found the section of stairs with broken railings, his heart in his throat. “Shanshan!”
Perhaps hearing Zhou Mo’s voice, Xu Shanshan turned back from the middle of the river.
But turning back, she couldn’t hear his voice. She could only see Mo running towards her, heedless of everything…
She was truly sorry, but she was so tired, so very tired. She found smiling exhausting, blinking exhausting, even breathing was so, so exhausting…
She began to hear the roar of water and many memories.
Zhou Mo watched helplessly as Shanshan reached the point where the current split, carried away by the rushing river in another direction.
Zhou Mo swam desperately, Xu Shanshan tossed like duckweed in the river.
Mo kissed her, smiling as he said, “My uncle will take care of you.” Zhou Zixing, upon first meeting her, kindly said, “So you’re Shanshan.” Gan Yiming’s hand crept up her thigh. Wei Changqiu cursed, “Slutty intern seducing a married man, shameless,” and in front of many people, grabbed her hair and slammed her head against a garbage can repeatedly. Then there was Zhou Zixing’s “Madam Wei, it’s been deleted,” and Mo’s “I love you too”…
Zhou Mo kept swimming and kept searching. Every clump of fishing nets he saw in the water-filled him with wild hope.
But nothing. He couldn’t find her. Still couldn’t find her.
A full eight hours.
At four in the morning, someone called the police.
The police cordoned off an area by the river in another district. Zhou Mo, soaking wet, stumbled through the crowd and found Shanshan, her body swollen, asleep.
She lay on a bed of pebbles, beside her a colorful pebble castle, built at a child’s height.
Zhou Mo dared not approach, but his feet seemed to move of their own accord, dragging steps as heavy as a thousand pounds, step by step.
A police officer came to stop him: “Sir, please don’t cross the police line. We’re currently investigating…”
The man, as if deaf to the words, walked step by step, then crouched down, collapsing on the ground. He picked up the swollen young girl, tears suddenly falling on Xu Shanshan’s face with a “plop,” looking so painful.
“Shanshan, it doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t hurt…”
Zhou Mo frantically tried to wipe the tears from her nose, but the tears kept coming. Why couldn’t he wipe them away? Why couldn’t he wipe them away? His hand slowly caressed Shanshan’s nose, lips, forehead, eyes…
The police officer stopped approaching.
Night enveloped them. The soaking-wet man sat on the ground, holding the drowned woman in her hospital gown. He pressed his face against her ashen face and wailed.
————
Before dawn broke, in the crowd, Zhou Zixing turned his head to secretly wipe away tears.
Mo loved Xu Shanshan, but as his adoptive father, he only cared about Mo, cared about himself. He only cared that Wei Changqiu was ruthless and had blood on her hands, that Wei Changqiu talked to him about Mo, about the loans with Huishang…
He had made a mistake with the first step by coincidence and couldn’t turn back.
————
On the day of Xu Shanshan’s cremation, the neighboring deceased was a 99-year-old, with four generations of family. Dozens of descendants knelt before the cremation window, wailing and crying.
Besides Xu Shanshan, there was only one person.
Zhou Mo buttoned up the top two buttons of her blouse, straightened her collar, and even, meticulously and gently, applied her favorite lipstick color. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss.
Looking up, he stared at her for a long while, then nodded to the staff beside him: “Mm.”
The staff member pushed Xu Shanshan in and closed the valve. Zhou Mo was led around to the control panel at the back.
He sat steadily, watching through the small window as the spray gun “hissed” twice, spraying oil on Shanshan. The crematorium made a “hum” sound, and flames leaped three meters high, enveloping the woman’s form. Zhou Mo just sat there quietly, watching Xu Shanshan lie in the sea of fire, watching her flesh burn away bit by bit.
The cremation took one hour and three minutes.
Floating in the sky was smoke.
Left in his hand was a sandalwood box.
Then, led by the staff, Zhou Mo went to the pre-purchased grave.
Men on the left, women on the right, he placed the box on the right side.
“The stonemason is currently abroad. Would you like to come back next week, or leave the inscription now for us to process directly, so you can just come back during Qingming or New Year?” The staff member was friendly to the generous customer.
“Now, please.” Zhou Mo took the paper and pen, resting them on the sandalwood box as he wrote.
He wrote four characters, then stopped, trembling.
— My wife, Shanshan.
There was no ceremony.
Yet it seemed to use up all the tenderness and strength he had in this lifetime.
————
Zhou Mo was grateful for Zhou Zixing’s nurturing and his aunt’s loving care.
After Jiujiang’s downfall and the end of everything related to Xu Shanshan, he no longer felt the initial bone-deep hatred towards Zhou Zixing, but he also couldn’t bring himself to call him uncle again.
Zhou Zixing didn’t make it to spring, not even surviving autumn.
Until the end, Zhou Zixing couldn’t wait for Zhou Mo to appear, even once.