Please Mrs. Zhou, return home quickly. Your husband is eagerly waiting for you.
[Marriage Day 31: Low mood, low body temperature. She came to Jingbei to find me. Worried about disturbing her sleep, agreed to go mountain climbing together tomorrow]
[Marriage Day 29: Excited mood, want to make love with her.]
……
[Marriage Day 22: Square dancing video caused heated discussion. She said she doesn’t want the relationship to be public, nor does she want a wedding or wedding rings]
[Marriage Day 21: First time after marriage that she defended me in front of her mother, saying I am the first source of confidence and security she has truly owned]
……
[Marriage Day 1: We got married. Unable to sleep all night, worried about being unable to take good care of her. Bought a vanity table online, not knowing if she would be willing to move in.]
Sheng Sui was very clear that peeking at someone else’s diary was extremely immoral and disrespectful of their privacy.
It’s just that her fingers continued scrolling down uncontrollably, reading ten lines at a glance, her mind blank yet precisely embedding the words into her brain.
The number of memos was astonishing, more than one entry per day. Rather than wanting to express any feelings, it was more like a running account recorded for fear of forgetting, noting every detail no matter how small.
Worried that Zhou Shiyu might return to the living room at any moment, she had no time to read through all the memos one by one, and directly scrolled to the end – which was the first recorded entry.
Seeing the text content clearly, her long lashes trembled violently.
[She called me, addressing me as “Mr. Zhou” for the first time. I want to see her again, want to talk with her, even if it’s just saying “long time no see.”]
The explosive amount of information left her momentarily unable to process it all, but one thought jumped out of her mind with incomparable clarity:
Zhou Shiyu likes her, just not sure since when.
The words Liang Xubai had asked her in return that day, as well as the questions that had puzzled Sheng Sui for a long time after marriage, seemed to suddenly have answers.
Why Zhou Shiyu would suddenly get married, and why he chose her without hesitation.
—Because he likes her.
At the same time, more questions followed: How long has Zhou Shiyu liked her? Did it start from high school?
If this secret affection truly began during their only period of intersection in high school, what was the reason? And why has Zhou Shiyu never sought her out?
Voices could faintly be heard from the study. Sheng Sui was startled and didn’t dare look any further, hastily scrolling up the memos to click on the latest entry, adjusting back to the initial state and locking the screen.
Placing the white phone back in its original position on the sofa, she held Ping’An and sat in the farthest corner of the opposite sofa, her heart beating violently.
Sure enough, the next second, the man finished his work and came out of the study.
Sheng Sui lowered her head, pretending to take photos of Ping’An, but her peripheral vision closely followed Zhou Shiyu as he walked toward the sofa, her heart filled with mixed emotions.
A string of questions rolled to her lips, but got stuck back in her throat like a fishbone. She suddenly felt somewhat uncertain whether someone as proud as Zhou Shiyu would be willing to have his long-hidden thoughts exposed by her in this way.
“…Suisui.”
Her chaotic thoughts were disrupted by the man’s deep voice. Sheng Sui suddenly snapped back to reality and looked up, meeting the man’s deep black eyes behind his glasses, hearing him ask:
“Would you like some almond drink?”
Zhou Shiyu’s lips still curved in a faint smile, his tone gentle, obviously in a very good mood.
Yet it made Sheng Sui feel somewhat unfamiliar in her trance, as if she were getting to know anew this husband who had married her from beginning to end for reasons of “suitability.”
Without warning, her chest suddenly felt sour and swollen.
“…Oh, oh, okay, thank you.”
Seeing Sheng Sui’s currently dazed and distracted appearance, Zhou Shiyu curved his lips and raised his hand to ruffle her soft hair. Before turning to go to the dining room, he remembered to retrieve the white phone he had forgotten on the sofa.
Looking down at the phone clearly, his bending motion paused;
At the same time, substantial gazes from behind followed him closely.
On the right side of the screen, there were several fresh fingerprint smudges in vertical direction, clearly showing traces left by up-and-down scrolling.
And his last fingerprints from typing on the phone had also been covered by the scrolling traces.
The black screen reflected Zhou Shiyu’s downcast eyes and lowered gaze, the gold-rimmed glasses concealing the emotions in his eyes very well.
Zhou Shiyu calmly put away the phone and walked peacefully toward the kitchen, seemingly able to hear a relieved long sigh from behind.
Weighing almonds, lily bulbs, Chinese yam, and pre-soaked white fungus in proper proportions, putting on gloves, he cut them into pieces and put them in the blender, poured in clear water, and started the machine.
In the muffled humming sound, Zhou Shiyu lowered his head, watching the mixed ingredients gradually being crushed into paste.
The memo records were to prevent memory loss.
Depression is an inevitable path in bipolar disorder episodes. During his university years when medication couldn’t control it, electroconvulsive therapy without convulsions became one of the few life-saving methods.*
The actual experience wasn’t as terrifying as the name suggests. It just involved putting a rubber cap containing electrode patches on the head, combined with oxygen inhalation while injecting anesthesia to keep all muscles relaxed while falling asleep.*
Consciousness would be lost in just a few seconds, without even feeling much pain.*
For Zhou Shiyu, the only side effect was probably that excessive electroshock treatment would randomly extract some memories.*
Having learned this lesson, Zhou Shiyu naturally developed the habit of recording anything related to the two of them.
It’s just that before Sheng Sui’s phone call, their intersection was almost zero, which led to the current almost vengefully detailed running account.
The memos only dryly recorded their daily life together, never mentioning his illness or any past events. Even if Sheng Sui read through every single entry, at most she could only see that he loves her.
So he’s finally been discovered.
For some reason, at this moment Zhou Shiyu suddenly felt a sense of relief, like putting down a heavy burden.
The fact that he likes her – he had carefully hidden it alone for thirteen years, treasuring it like precious jewels, hoping this worshipful love could glimpse the light of day, yet also worried that his love was too heavy and would scare Sheng Sui away.
She is the treasure he holds against his heart, reluctant even to disturb.
The other pocket vibrated. Zhou Shiyu took out his black phone, the screen showing a message just sent by Secretary Chen:
[Secretary Chen: Mr. Zhou, the fog machine and lighting have been purchased and placed in the villa on the west side of the city]
The blender stopped. Zhou Shiyu lowered his eyes and replied with a “good,” put away his phone, and poured the freshly squeezed almond drink into a bowl.
Using the back of his hand to confirm the temperature wasn’t too hot, he curved his lips, activating his facial muscles, turned around, and walked toward Sheng Sui waiting on the living room sofa with the ceramic cup in hand.
“…What? You called me here in such a hurry, and it’s actually to buy wedding rings for you and your husband?”
Tuesday afternoon at five o’clock sharp, in an elegantly decorated coffee shop on commercial center street.
Xiao Ming, who had rushed over because of Sheng Sui’s phone call, nearly spat out a mouthful of coffee upon hearing the purpose of this trip, staring wide-eyed:
“So, you two didn’t buy wedding rings when you got married?”
Sheng Sui handed her a napkin and shook her head: “No.”
“What about wedding photos? The wedding?” Xiao Ming’s voice grew louder and louder until other customers turned around, then she restrained herself:
“Don’t tell me, your husband is so rich, but you two had no wedding ceremonies at all? Just simply got a marriage certificate?”
“…Yes, that’s right.”
The two exchanges made Sheng Sui feel increasingly guilty.
In her memory, Zhou Shiyu had mentioned weddings, wedding photos, and wedding rings to her more than once, all of which she had refused either tactfully or directly.
Last night she rarely suffered from insomnia, her mind full of that day in the dim and noisy izakaya, when Zhou Shiyu leaned over and used a half-flirtatious, half-serious tone to whisper in her ear, describing the beautiful scene of their wedding.
He said: “This has been my wish since I was sixteen.”
At that time, Sheng Sui didn’t understand the deep meaning in her husband’s words, and even felt that Zhou Shiyu’s obsession with romantic forms was quite different from his usual rational image.
Now thinking about it, her heart was full of guilt again.
Especially after she accidentally learned that Zhou Shiyu might have liked her before.
Sheng Sui felt joy that her feelings were quickly reciprocated, but also felt somewhat at a loss about Zhou Shiyu’s hidden emotions, as well as particularly guilty about the unintentional harm caused by not noticing in time.
“…I feel I owe him a lot,” Sheng Sui didn’t know how to describe it for a moment, lowering her eyes and slowing her speech:
“But besides buying wedding rings, there seems to be nothing else I can do immediately.”
She had also thought about preparing a proposal, but firstly it would take too long, and secondly, with Zhou Shiyu’s perceptiveness, it would probably be exposed within three days.
Sheng Sui had considerable self-awareness about her ability to lie and keep secrets.
“Look at your worthless appearance,” Xiao Ming got goosebumps from the mushiness, but seeing Sheng Sui’s smile-filled expression, she still sighed:
“And you said you didn’t like your husband.”
“…I do like him.”
Sheng Sui admitted her feelings in front of someone else for the first time, gripping her coffee cup tightly, the corners of her mouth constantly rising with her gradually weakening voice: “I also hope to let him know.”
Zhou Shiyu has unspeakable difficulties about this affection;
That’s okay, she’s very willing to be the one who actively expresses love.
This feeling could probably be described as:
I don’t know why you like me, what you like about me, or when you started liking me;
But just knowing that you like me makes me feel incredibly happy.
“Just who is your husband exactly?” Xiao Ming looked at Sheng Sui, who had always been pessimistic about marriage but was now almost like a different person, couldn’t help gossiping: “Ever since you posted that photo, I’ve been dying of curiosity, holding it in is killing me.”
Sheng Sui smiled with rare mischief: “After I give him the ring, I’ll tell you.”
Though they called it selecting rings, today they could only look at styles first. The specific size for the men’s ring would have to wait until she went home and measured Zhou Shiyu’s ring finger.
Having worked for several years, plus not having to pay mortgage or pursue fashion and luxury goods, Sheng Sui’s savings, while not considerable, were enough to choose a mid-to-high-end brand.
It was just inevitable that before entering the store, she received another round of dramatic sighs from Xiao Ming.
Accustomed to customers coming in couples, the salesgirl initially mistook Sheng Sui and Xiao Ming for a couple.
Later learning that Sheng Sui was buying matching rings for her husband, after recommending several popular styles, she smiled and blessed: “Your husband will definitely be very touched knowing your thoughtfulness.”
“Thank you.”
Finally, the two sisters visited every wedding ring store on the entire commercial street, with Sheng Sui taking photos of the three or four styles she liked.
Just as she was preparing to discuss with Xiao Ming how to secretly get Zhou Shiyu’s ring finger size, her phone suddenly vibrated.
It was a text message from Zhou Shiyu.
[Z: I’m home now, still busy?]
Sheng Sui had made an excuse earlier saying she had school matters today. The man didn’t rashly call, so she typed back:
[Almost finished, preparing to head back.]
[Z: Do you need me to pick you up]
[ss: No need, sharing a ride back with someone else]
[Z: Okay, tell me when you get in the car, be safe]
Then the man sent another Ping’An emoji that Sheng Sui had shared last night, with the four words “come here” that she had added at the time.
In the dusk twilight, with cool gentle evening breeze on her face, Sheng Sui looked down at Ping’An winking at her in the image and couldn’t help but smile.
As the sky gradually darkened, on the taxi ride home, she texted Zhou Shiyu sporadically. When she looked up again, she found the familiar square outside the window, with young parents playing with their children scattered across the grass.
The last time she passed by here in a car was before marriage, leaving her mother’s house. At that time, facing marriage pressure, she only felt desolate, trapped under the mountain of her family of origin, drawing boundaries around herself and unable to breathe.
And now, looking at the family of three playing in the distance, taking advantage of the taxi’s stop, she took out her phone camera and captured both the warm scene outside the window and the equally beautiful sunset afterglow, sending them to Zhou Shiyu.
[ss: Today’s sunset, please receive]
While waiting for a reply, Sheng Sui casually scrolled back through their chat history and found that their recent conversations were all about the most trivial daily matters.
From the lunch Zhou Shiyu prepared for her every day, to Ping’An’s various emoji expressions, to her random photos of golden-red sunsets, sky clouds, and even roadside wildflowers – chaotic and disorganized.
Yet it was precisely these fragmented trivial matters and their mutual responsiveness that composed their current married life.
Her phone vibrated in her palm. Sheng Sui looked down at the photo Zhou Shiyu sent.
The same orange-red sunset, the same dark blue clouded horizon, just from different shooting angles, for two people in different places to enjoy simultaneously.
This was nature’s gift to them – a naturally formed romance.
Sheng Sui was about to click save when two more lines of text popped up on the screen:
[Z: Express delivery has been delivered, the recipient signature reads ‘Zhou Shiyu’s beloved wife’]
[Z: Please Mrs. Zhou, return home quickly. Your husband is eagerly waiting for you]
Author’s Note:
Both are secretly preparing big moves, let’s see who makes the first move
Still daily asking for comments and nutrient solution, thank you very much mwah mwah mwah
1: Related medical knowledge queried and adapted from books and internet, will delete if infringing, humbly seeking advice if there are errors*
Thank you very much for everyone’s support, I will continue working hard!