In your eyes, is this matter so lowly?

——”Not everyone is as wealthy as Zhou Shiyu,” “My psychological consultations are generally charged by the minute.”

——”There are a thousand different ways to die,” “I’m a psychiatrist. I’ve seen all kinds of bizarre suicide methods.”

——”Psychologists all have tight lips. After all, saying things we shouldn’t would violate confidentiality agreements.”

“……”

In the warm little room filled with floral fragrance, Sheng Sui quietly looked at the leisurely smiling Liang Xubai, and for the first time in her life, she hated her own stupidity.

The man had laid his cards on the table and told her frankly that this was a word game;

But Sheng Sui couldn’t even understand the meaning of each sentence Liang Xubai said, let alone grasp the deeper mysteries within.

It was just that Liang Xubai’s word choices——”a thousand different ways to die,” “suicide,” “confidentiality agreement”——each one made Sheng Sui instinctively feel danger.

She was like a landlubber standing by the seaside, facing endless tides before her;

The seawater was fishy and salty, the wet wind brushing her face and stirring her hair. She gazed foolishly at the lonely island across the sea, where her beloved stood guard at the only visible lighthouse.

They were like time-limited lovers. During the day, Zhou Shiyu would cross the sea to the shore to be intimate with her, but when dusk fell and the moon rose bright among sparse stars, after coaxing her to sleep, the man would have to return alone, hiding all his secrets on the lonely island that Sheng Sui could never reach.

Everything seemed so beautiful——

Until one sleepless night when Sheng Sui suddenly awakened, following the footprints the man had carelessly left in the soft sand of the beach, walking to the water’s edge to listen for a long time to the night wind’s powerless, mournful cry.

And now Liang Xubai, who could freely travel between the shore and the island by boat, only tossed Sheng Sui half an oar, smiling as he told her:

——My boat strictly doesn’t take passengers. Now I’ve given you the tools. If you want to get to that island, you’ll have to rely entirely on your own efforts.

“Unfortunately, I’ve never been particularly good at playing games.”

The walnut wood antique clock on the wall was decorated with lily-of-the-valley flowers. Seeing that time was approaching her appointment with Zhou Shiyu, Sheng Sui looked down and said softly: “One last question.”

“Is Zhou Shiyu your client, Mr. Liang?”

“Many young people nowadays regularly seek psychological counseling,” Liang Xubai tilted his head, propping it with his arm, lazily looking at the low-key luxurious black sedan outside the floor-to-ceiling window, curling his lips,

“And a friendly reminder, someone familiar is coming——”

“Mr. Liang.”

The latter half of his sentence was interrupted by the woman’s soft voice.

Hearing this, Liang Xubai raised an eyebrow and followed the sound to withdraw his gaze, only to see that Sheng Sui across from him hadn’t followed his words to turn around, but was looking at him calmly.

Their eyes met, and the woman smiled gently: “I haven’t asked yet whether the ‘client’ you just mentioned refers to your identity as a flower shop owner or as a psychologist.”

A rare flash of surprise crossed the face of the languidly indifferent young doctor.

In less than half a second, Liang Xubai threw back his head and laughed, his long legs crossed, hands in his pockets, shoulders shaking, as if he truly found it very interesting.

“Teacher Sheng.”

Before the flower shop’s glass door was pushed open, Liang Xubai looked at Sheng Sui with a few more points of approval in his eyes: “I said last time that you’re very suited to be a psychologist.”

“What are you chatting about?”

Accompanied by the crisp sound of wind chimes, Zhou Shiyu pushed through the door bathed in spring light. His black eyes behind his glasses precisely landed on Sheng Sui, striding over with his long legs and naturally rubbing the back of her head gently.

The man’s action was an unconscious intimacy. Sheng Sui turned her head and showed Zhou Shiyu the lit phone screen on the round table:

“I told you this morning about the yellowing leaves of the snapdragons at home, so I wanted to consult Mr. Liang.”

“Zhou Shiyu, what’s wrong with you? You’ve killed seven or eight plants at least, yet you can’t even summarize any failure experience.”

Liang Xubai clicked his tongue in disdain, stood up and like a magic trick, took out two small bottles from the interlayer of the wooden shelf behind him, “Floral nutrient solution. The usage instructions are all on the bottles.”

Having said that, he looked at someone nearby who was only focused on watching his wife the entire time, saying irritably: “Brother, stop looking and come settle the bill.”

Zhou Shiyu followed him to the cashier, his gaze tracking Sheng Sui as she wandered among the flowers. The golden-red sunset danced on her shoulders and hair, when he heard the chattering voice beside his ear.

“No matter what flowers fall into your hands, they die within half a month every time.”

Liang Xubai tapped the cashier screen with his bent finger, lazily propping his chin with his hand: “Your wife is much more capable than you.”

Zhou Shiyu casually handed over his black card, recalling how Sheng Sui’s first task every morning upon waking was to check on the flowers, and smiled faintly: “Is that so?”

“Brother, I advise you to stay clear-headed.”

Seeing someone’s worthless appearance, Liang Xubai sighed inwardly at the decline of moral standards, and finally kindly added: “Don’t underestimate any woman.”

“——Especially a woman in love.”

“……What you said last time came true. Z wrote me back yesterday.”

After leaving the flower shop and getting in the car, seeing the sunset through the clouds was dazzling, Sheng Sui raised her hand to first open the sun visor for the man in the driver’s seat, saying softly: “You were right last time. Z really is a boy.”

Zhou Shiyu remembered very clearly that he had only asked then why Sheng Sui thought Z was a girl.

Not dwelling on details, seeing the woman smile after finishing her words, with shallow dimples at the corners of her lips: “What’s even more coincidental is that Z, like us, is also newly married.”

“That’s nice.”

Zhou Shiyu lacked interest in discussing Z. Noticing that Sheng Sui was still turning her head to look at him directly with her watery eyes, he glanced sideways and raised an eyebrow: “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Sheng Sui shook her head and smiled with curved eyebrows, “I just suddenly feel that you’re different today from before.”

The red light came on at the intersection, and the Aston Martin slowly stopped among the crowd of cars.

In the enclosed, quiet space of the car, Sheng Sui saw Zhou Shiyu curve his lips and turn around, his well-defined hand gently scratching under her chin, like the motion of teasing a cat.

The man’s voice remained low and gentle, pretending to interrogate: “How am I different, hmm?”

No one changes their temperament overnight. Sheng Sui couldn’t say exactly what was different either.

With seventy or eighty seconds left on the red light, the man’s right hand resting on her chin was warm. When their skin touched, she could feel the rough texture different from a woman’s delicate softness.

Not wanting her inner thoughts to escape through her eyes, Sheng Sui avoided direct eye contact, her gaze naturally falling on Zhou Shiyu’s left hand controlling the steering wheel.

His protruding knuckles were pale, all five fingers slender, with powerful veins winding from the palm root across the back of his hand. Going upward, when the golden-red light fell, the ring on his ring finger became increasingly eye-catching.

Sheng Sui only glanced over shallowly, then her gaze moved downward, finally settling on Zhou Shiyu’s extremely bony left wrist, encircled by a custom-widened watch strap.

The strap was pressed against his skin. No, the word “pressed” wasn’t quite accurate. The cold strip of platinum was bound around the man’s wrist like shackles. Looking carefully, one could even see the strap slightly indenting into the flesh.

In her memory, Zhou Shiyu was never without his watch, using it even more frequently than the gold-rimmed glasses on his nose. In the display cabinet in the middle of the walk-in closet at home, dozens of watch straps were displayed and arranged.

The materials and designs were all different, but the one constant was the unusual width of the straps.

Sheng Sui had never seen anyone whose watch was so wide and thick, worn so tightly.

In that moment, catalyzed by her suspicions everywhere, the thing on Zhou Shiyu’s wrist seemed no longer a watch strap, but a shameful cover to hide wounds, or perhaps tough silk strong enough to hang oneself with.

“……What are you looking at?”

The man’s voice from above and to the left pulled back her wandering thoughts. Sheng Sui calmly withdrew her gaze, but her heartbeat skipped a beat.

“Nothing,” she looked up into the man’s dark eyes behind his glasses, seeing herself smiling in them,

“I was just thinking that the ring I chose looks very nice.”

Sheng Sui felt she had been a bit too attentive tonight.

While cooking, circling around Zhou Shiyu the entire time wasn’t enough. Even when the man was responsible for washing dishes after dinner, Sheng Sui kept coming over, helping him roll up his sleeves that hadn’t actually slipped down, time and again.

At the same time muttering: “Be careful not to get your sleeves wet. Clothes sticking to your arms is uncomfortable.”

Zhou Shiyu couldn’t handle her fussing anymore. He dried his hands and easily lifted Sheng Sui around the waist with one arm, steadily placing her on the clean kitchen counter.

Accustomed to constant intimacy, Sheng Sui put her arms around the man’s neck. As soon as she sat down, she felt a slight sharp pain in her earlobe.

Zhou Shiyu’s teeth pressed against her earlobe, laughing ambiguously in a low voice: “Do you want to do it now?”

“……”

After understanding, Sheng Sui’s face reddened. Her reflexive rebuttal slipped out: “I didn’t——”

The instinctive latter half was immediately interrupted by reason: “——I didn’t say no.”

As soon as the words fell, she felt everything go dark before her eyes. The tall, thin man leaned down and pressed close, blocking the light above her head. It was an overwhelming descent of the domineering yet gentle aura that belonged uniquely to someone.

Zhou Shiyu braced his hands on the kitchen counter, his broad shoulders and long arms encircling Sheng Sui securely in his embrace, saying methodically:

“I’ve discovered that Mrs. Zhou seems particularly proactive lately.”

“……Just consider it post-meal exercise.”

Even with ulterior motives, Sheng Sui was still clumsy and inexperienced when it came to taking initiative. Racking her brains, she could only turn her head and lightly bite the man’s rolling Adam’s apple.

Hearing his low voice, she didn’t know if she was venting or deliberately seducing, only asking back: “Do you have any objections?”

Zhou Shiyu’s handsome eyebrows furrowed then relaxed. After a few seconds, he suddenly smiled and said hoarsely: “I wouldn’t dare.”

When she was lifted horizontally, Sheng Sui stared directly at the man for several seconds, then suddenly reached out to remove Zhou Shiyu’s glasses.

Instinctively wanting to turn his face away, Zhou Shiyu finally stopped his steps, allowing her to remove his glasses, asking in a low voice: “Don’t you like me wearing glasses?”

It wasn’t about liking or disliking. Good-looking people look good no matter what.

Sheng Sui just suddenly wanted to know what Zhou Shiyu looked like without glasses, saying softly: “I want to be closer to you.”

Hearing this, the man raised his eyebrows again, surprised by her performance tonight. In the end, before completely consuming her, everything turned into a hoarse whisper by her ear:

“Then Sui Sui remember, don’t cry and ask me to stop later.”

“……”

Tonight was the first time since marriage that Sheng Sui felt she wasn’t naturally a slow student.

Once a person has goals and beliefs for support and is willing to cast aside unnecessary shame, many things become self-taught. Even if clumsy at first, one can quickly master the principles.

She was like a dormant seed buried in crevices for years. As long as she received nourishment from soil and water, she would grow rapidly into bright, beautiful flowers, continuously flowing out stored nutrients to give back to the earth in endless cycles.

And at this moment, she finally understood Zhou Shiyu’s past pleasures.

Those in superior positions have their unique perspective and control. When depth, height, and speed are all under control, when the man’s breathing is no longer his own, Sheng Sui clearly felt the unprecedented sense of conquest in her heart being instantly satisfied.

When the other party was Zhou Shiyu, even looking down at him or seeing fallen strands of hair obscuring his flawless features was quite an achievement.

Naturally, Sheng Sui couldn’t match Zhou Shiyu’s skilled techniques or his ability to predict her next reaction in advance;

But just from the man’s dark eyes no longer obscured by lenses, no longer constantly alert, Sheng Sui could clearly sense the tumultuous waves in Zhou Shiyu’s heart at this moment.

Under the man’s persistent guidance in the past, Sheng Sui finally learned how to use her natural advantages as a woman like Zhou Shiyu did.

When both were unwilling to be inferior, the event quietly transformed into a smokeless war.

Sheng Sui really didn’t have much patience. She gathered her long hair up high, leaving a slender, pale neck exposed, then lowered her head.

The next second, she was hastily pulled up by Zhou Shiyu, his deep, hoarse voice rarely showing a trace of panic:

“……Didn’t we say not to do this?”

The man’s hands clearly used force, even making Sheng Sui feel pain.

“So, do you hate it?” She looked up at him, her water-like eyes with reddened corners full of seriousness, “If you don’t hate it, why can you do things that I can’t?”

Her tone had the childlike innocence and stubbornness: “In your eyes, is this matter so lowly?”

“If it’s lowly, why do you do this to me?”

“……”

The woman’s gentle, clear questioning echoed in the spacious, quiet bedroom, leaving Zhou Shiyu momentarily speechless.

Sheng Sui was indeed right. He had grown accustomed to placing himself in a lower position——

During the thirteen years when he had no right to stand before her, Zhou Shiyu had lived this way.

But now Sheng Sui wanted to break the rules he had once relied on for survival.

“Zhou Shiyu.”

In the deadly silence, it was Sheng Sui who took the initiative to kiss the corner of his lips, her falling breath warm:

“You can’t assume my love is more shallow just because you liked me first; nor can you judge my feelings as superficial just because you’ve been moved longer.”

“Even in the name of love and protection, you can’t preset that what you can do, I’m destined not to be able to do.”

“This isn’t fair to me.”

The kisses from his beloved on his face were extremely gentle, descending from his forehead, kissing his brow, eyes, nose bridge, and lips in sequence——

The remaining rationality told Zhou Shiyu that Sheng Sui’s abnormal behavior must have ulterior motives. He should do something now, or at least stop something;

Rather than letting Sheng Sui act recklessly, letting her shatter his original concepts one by one with an almost unreasonably domineering attitude.

But when she deeply lowered her head, when he was completely enveloped, Zhou Shiyu suddenly felt a powerless sense of resignation.

He knew better than anyone that Zhou Shiyu would never be able to refuse Sheng Sui.

So all he could do was pull Sheng Sui up in time, then carefully wipe away the stains on her with his fingertips—stains that came from him.

“……There are things I thought I would never do in this lifetime—until I just tried, and it seems I don’t find it repulsive.”

Sheng Sui took the mouthwash cup Zhou Shiyu handed her. Her lips continued to feel numb, and her throat felt like it had a huge stone lodged in it.

Her voice was hoarse, but her tone was calm: “But I’m very certain I don’t like you always putting yourself in a lower position.”

Similarly, she also didn’t like Zhou Shiyu silently bearing everything alone and only showing her the bright, beautiful side.

Sheng Sui wanted an equal relationship of loving and being loved, wanted a lover who could sometimes be vulnerable but trusted enough and was willing to depend on her.

Honesty was difficult, often accompanied by reopening old scabbed wounds; but Sheng Sui had tried in this relationship and knew it wasn’t impossible.

But Zhou Shiyu still responded with silence, showing faint fatigue on his face. In the end, he only held Sheng Sui tightly in his arms, wrapped them in the down comforter, and whispered heavily by her ear: “Sleep.”

“……”

Ten minutes later, hearing the steady, long breathing of the man beside her, Sheng Sui felt that in some sense, she had also achieved her purpose.

Carefully and gently pulling open the covers, she looked down to see their left and right hands currently clasped tightly together, fingers interlocked.

The difficulty of removing a watch strap was completely different from that of unwrapping paper around a finger.

During the action, Sheng Sui felt not only her fingers trembling, but her heart trembling, even her teeth chattering finely.

Fortunately, the person who usually slept lightly was sleeping exceptionally deeply and peacefully tonight. Even when she once got the clasp wrong and her fingertip directly touched the man’s wrist, Zhou Shiyu still didn’t wake up.

After an unknown amount of time, amid rustling sounds, Sheng Sui finally unfastened the strap. Hearing the clear sound of the clasp engaging, the watch face fell downward due to gravity.

She quickly caught it in panic, frowning and pursing her lips, carefully identifying in the darkness under the covers the secret hidden beneath the strap.

“…….”

Thirty seconds, one minute, even up to three minutes passed, and Sheng Sui maintained the same position without moving, her round, bright eyes showing some bewilderment.

Reason warned her repeatedly that Zhou Shiyu might wake up at any moment, and she absolutely couldn’t continue to stand there in a daze.

But she seemed like a broken-down machine that hadn’t been maintained for years, weighing a thousand pounds.

Because she really couldn’t count how many times Zhou Shiyu had cut and slashed the skin on the inside of his wrist, which was only a few inches in size, to leave such numerous, such hideous, such terrifying clusters of scars.