When we embrace in the future, it won’t only be you bending down for me—I can also stand on my tiptoes for you.

I miss you so much.

Very, very much.

Sheng Sui thought that she was still afraid, still helpless, and still at a loss.

It was just that her longing had taken overwhelming precedence.

Even now, slow as she was, she finally understood that the prerequisite for human emotions was the existence of a vessel to contain them.

Because there was a vessel to place her emotions in, her fondness, her longing, even her anxiety and anger all had meaning.

Zhou Shiyu was the one who could affect her entirely with a single touch, the source of her countless restless thoughts, and even more so, the reason why longing was no substitute for actually seeing him.

Almost as if accepting her fate, Sheng Sui took a deep breath and softly repeated: “Zhou Shiyu, I miss you very much.”

Perhaps because she said too few sweet words on ordinary days, the man on the other end of the phone fell silent after hearing her words.

“Sui Sui,” after several long seconds passed, the low voice from above her head overlapped with the one from the phone, falling down like a duet,

“Turn around.”

Sheng Sui was slightly stunned. She turned and saw Zhou Shiyu standing a few steps away, the sea breeze billowing his loose white shirt.

The man had arrived at some unknown time. Behind him, orange-red beams of light outlined his broad shoulders, dyeing even his smooth black hair with scattered golden fragments. With his broad shoulders, narrow waist, and long legs, his gentle demeanor as always made one think of a deity descending from heaven.

This was the Zhou Shiyu she was familiar with: gentle yet powerful, with an unshakeable composure, tolerance, and affinity, along with an elusive air of mystery.

Not the young man in the diary whose handwriting trembled with every stroke, sensitive and fragile, as if a single withered leaf could easily crush him.

Sheng Sui couldn’t trace the transformative changes between them, and she was even more afraid to know what unknown experiences Zhou Shiyu had endured over these years.

The mature man and the struggling youth—the stark incongruity made Sheng Sui’s mind and eyes conflict with each other.

Their gazes met as she stared intently at Zhou Shiyu’s sculpted features, his smile gentle and peaceful. She inexplicably thought of expensive, exquisite dolls in shop windows.

The doll possessed impeccable, refined features and wore the most expensive and gorgeous clothing, yet inside it was covered with wounds.

If one were to tear open the scars that wound from the doll’s shoulders down its back, moldy, damp cotton stuffing would eagerly spill out, leaving only a piece of rotting flesh under the left chest that still beat weakly—

That was the doll’s only living heart.

“…When did you arrive?”

Saying “hello” would be too distant. Sheng Sui took the initiative to walk toward Zhou Shiyu by the shore, hiding her right hand holding the disc behind her back: “Have you been here the whole time?”

Seeing her approach, Zhou Shiyu took a few long strides toward her and said gently: “Yes, I’ve been here all along.”

After all, watching her back while waiting had always been what Zhou Shiyu did best.

Sheng Sui simply looked up, staring directly at the man’s smile as if desperately searching for something, making conversation: “Where were you? I didn’t see you.”

“I stood far away. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

The two looked into each other’s eyes. Zhou Shiyu lowered his gaze and extended his hand toward her, asking softly as if nothing had happened: “Sui Sui, would you like to come home with me?”

Sheng Sui looked at the man’s impeccable smile and tried to imitate him, attempting to curve her lips upward. After a few seconds, she failed as expected.

“…I’m sorry,” after several failed attempts, she averted her gaze, no longer looking at the smiling black eyes behind the man’s glasses.

“Zhou Shiyu, I really can’t seem to do it.”

The atmosphere around them froze, and the man’s outstretched hand stopped in midair.

Sheng Sui didn’t notice these details. She was just afraid to look at Zhou Shiyu’s smile at that moment. Watching the waves roll up and recede at the seaside, she said quietly: “I might not be a qualified lover.”

“I can’t give you the best support and help, can’t say forcefully ‘I don’t care about your past at all,’ and can’t immediately accept all the truth.”

“I understand all the reasoning,” her voice was very soft, instantly dissipating in the fishy, salty sea breeze, “I should say beautiful words, or at least pretend nothing happened.”

“But I tried all afternoon, and I still can’t do it.”

Sheng Sui turned back with a smile more heartbreaking than crying. The sadness in her eyes was like a sharp knife piercing directly into Zhou Shiyu’s chest—sharper by millions of times than any blade that had ever cut the skin of his wrists.

As the sun set, the woman gently shook her head, her hair dancing in the wind, calling his name: “Zhou Shiyu.”

“I can’t treat everything you’ve experienced as if it never happened.”

She had insisted on reading the diary herself—she couldn’t blame anyone else, nor did she have any reason to pretend she hadn’t seen it.

Tears that had just stopped began to well up in her eyes again. With her temple hair dancing wildly in the incoming sea breeze, when Sheng Sui turned to look at the man with his peaceful expression, she still found it incredible.

She had never seen anyone like Zhou Shiyu, who could still smile when covered in wounds, who could still stand before her as if nothing had happened, even while bearing enormous pain and worrying whether this suffering might disturb her.

How could such a person exist?

Zhou Shiyu only gazed deeply into her eyes. This time, even his glasses couldn’t hide the trace of sadness beneath his gentle black eyes.

The hand the man had meant to use to hold hers hung suspended in the air before finally dropping. He smiled slightly, his tone carrying a confusion Sheng Sui had never heard before: “So what should we do now?”

“Right now, I’m very sad and very angry.”

Sheng Sui almost hated herself for still speaking harshly to Zhou Shiyu at this moment. The hand hidden behind her back clenched until her fingertips turned white: “…Zhou Shiyu, I feel very wronged.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed, and the perfect smile on the man’s face finally showed a crack as he said hoarsely: “I know—”

“You don’t know.”

Sheng Sui unconsciously raised her voice, her almost rude attitude interrupting the man’s second half of the sentence. Finally, she felt two streams of hot tears roll down and crash heavily at her feet.

“Zhou Shiyu, no one comes into this world to become accustomed to suffering.”

She was ultimately clumsy with words, and when excited, with her voice choked with sobs, she became even more incoherent: “…Don’t become such a person, don’t get used to these pains. You shouldn’t have to bear these things. Why should it be you—”

Before she could finish speaking, a shadow fell before her eyes, and Sheng Sui was embraced by Zhou Shiyu in a gesture of dependence, with him bending down to hold her.

“…I know.”

Then Sheng Sui felt warm, dry hands gently stroking the back of her head, over and over, silently comforting her and gathering up her shattered unease.

Her neck was buried against the man’s head, and his low voice and hot breath fell against her neck simultaneously: “You feel sorry for me. I know all of this.”

“I—”

“It’s okay,” his voice low and hoarse, Zhou Shiyu was like someone comforting a child awakened by thunder and rain in the night, telling Sheng Sui over and over again,

“All misfortunes will pass someday.”

For a moment, Sheng Sui could only hear the man’s violent heartbeat in her ears, pounding so hard it hurt her ears. She wondered why she was the one being comforted when she heard Zhou Shiyu chuckle softly in her ear: “You might not believe it, but I’m actually very happy right now.”

“……”

“I thought you would be scared away, thought everything would repeat itself, that I would lose you again like before.”

Feeling the vibration of his chest, Sheng Sui heard the man’s hoarse low voice seeping out from her shoulder bit by bit: “Sheng Sui, I get scared too.”

“Afraid of seeing your reaction to learning I’m mentally ill, so I became a coward—the more I wanted to get close, the farther I had to hide.”

The man’s tone was calm as he spoke, but his hands gradually applied more pressure. Sheng Sui was held so tightly that her breathing became labored. In her daze, she felt as if Zhou Shiyu wanted to merge her into his body.

The chest she leaned against was warm and burning. She raised her hand to return the embrace, and when her palm touched the man’s thin back through the fabric, she couldn’t help but think of the torn back of the exquisite, luxurious doll.

With each stumbling step toward her, cotton balls from inside the doll’s body would fall out one after another, carrying dark brown dried bloodstains from the beating, rotting flesh.

Sheng Sui didn’t know needlework and couldn’t mend the torn opening.

But perhaps she could pick up the cotton that had fallen to the ground and gotten dirty, and when spring was at its best, place it in the sunlight to remove the mold before stuffing it back into the doll.

She was slow, but as long as she wanted to, there were always things she could do, weren’t there?

“…Zhou Shiyu.”

“Mm.”

Sheng Sui stood on tiptoe on the protruding reef, wanting to make Zhou Shiyu more comfortable leaning against her, so he wouldn’t have to bend down so deeply: “You know, I’ve always been a very timid person.”

“Even when I was beaten by my father as a child, I didn’t dare cry or ask for help because I was afraid. Later, when my mother treated me badly, I didn’t dare get angry either—I always thought if I endured a little more, things would get better.”

“…But just now I dared to argue with you and even dared to lose my temper at you.”

Before Sheng Sui could finish speaking, her face turned bright red with embarrassment. She buried herself deeper into Zhou Shiyu’s embrace and quietly justified herself: “This shows—after getting married, I’ve become much braver.”

After two seconds of silence, she felt Zhou Shiyu obviously shudder. Heat rushed to the top of her head, and she bumped Zhou Shiyu’s shoulder with her forehead: “…Don’t laugh yet.”

“Alright, I won’t laugh,” Zhou Shiyu’s voice carried traces of undispersed laughter as he pulled Sheng Sui closer into his embrace, greedily absorbing her soft breath,

“Take your time. All my time belongs to you.”

“Although it’s strange to say this at twenty-seven,” Sheng Sui gently pushed the man’s shoulder and stepped back, ending their long embrace, “I want to become a little braver.”

She looked up, her eyes red-rimmed when she looked at Zhou Shiyu. As the setting sun couldn’t help but kiss her cheek, she possessed a particularly stunning beauty.

Zhou Shiyu lowered his gaze without blinking, his hands loosely encircling her slender waist that he could span with his hands. The supple sensation transmitted through the fabric to his fingertips was like weak electric current passing through his body, creating a tingling numbness.

As both harbored their own thoughts, Sheng Sui took a deep breath, as if finally making up her mind. She was no longer content to be embraced protectively by Zhou Shiyu but instead stood on her tiptoes again.

Sharp reef stones pressed into her tiptoes, sending waves of stabbing pain. Sheng Sui, comparatively delicate and petite, raised her arms, her slender white arms encircling the man’s neck.

She swayed unsteadily for a moment before being supported by strong, powerful arms. From a distance, the movement looked like she had thrown herself into Zhou Shiyu’s embrace.

So even someone as timid and cowardly as her could do this.

Sheng Sui didn’t know whether to be happy or sad at this moment. Standing on tiptoe on the sharp stones made every step difficult, and the pain was impossible to ignore.

But there were some things she had to tell him now, immediately, right away.

“Zhou Shiyu,” Sheng Sui struggled clumsily to hold her beloved, unwilling to end this embrace despite the pain. Her thin lips pressed against Zhou Shiyu’s ear as she spoke earnestly, word by word,

“When we embrace in the future, it won’t only be you bending down for me—I can also stand on my tiptoes for you.”