Because I love you more than anything in the world.

“Excuse me, could you give me a copy of that video just now?”

“Ah, this… It’s okay to just watch, but there are regulations for documentary filming. To protect others’ privacy, filmed content without the person’s permission cannot be privately distributed, so making a copy might not be possible…”

It was still early, and only Sheng Sui, who had gotten off work early, was in the bedroom, holding the soft Ping’An and dozing off.

She sat cross-legged on the long chair with a laptop in front of her, motionlessly staring at the video content playing on the screen. Among the many videos on the USB drive Qi Xiajing had given her, most were only two to three minutes long. What she was watching now was the last and longest video at seven minutes.

For some unknown reason, the video didn’t capture the scene of her personally delivering the peace amulet bag to Zhou Shiyu, but it did film Zhou Shiyu after she left, staring at the gift in his hands while lying on the hospital bed. After a long time, he looked up at the camera and softly asked the filmmaker if he could copy that video segment to take with him.

Involving someone else’s privacy, Zhou Shiyu’s request was immediately refused.

In the footage, Sheng Sui saw sixteen-year-old Zhou Shiyu’s expression dim slightly upon hearing this. His dark eyes, not yet concealed by glasses at that time, showed clear disappointment under the camera.

“…If there’s no frontal shot of the girl, then it shouldn’t count as violating privacy, right?”

At this moment, a gentle and steady female voice came from off-camera. Sheng Sui immediately recognized it as Li Dong’s voice: “I think if it’s just a photo showing only the back view, it shouldn’t violate regulations.”

After these words, Zhou Shiyu suddenly looked up.

“…”

The hospital room was silent for a long time. Finally, they heard the man off-camera sigh deeply, seemingly unable to bear it, and agree: “Then you can choose a picture later, as long as the face isn’t shown.”

“I will. Thank you.”

In the video, Sheng Sui saw sixteen-year-old Zhou Shiyu smile slightly, and she was stunned for a moment.

In the young man’s gentle and polite faint smile was the innocence that hadn’t yet been worn away by reality, along with hope and longing for the future.

Since their marriage or even since they met, she had never seen Zhou Shiyu show such a smile.

“She doesn’t seem to know your name yet.”

Li Dong’s voice rang out in the video again. Sheng Sui came back to her senses and looked at the screen, seeing the slender woman approach the hospital bed and look up at the data on various monitoring devices.

“Mm,” Zhou Shiyu turned his face toward the window, his voice gentle and light, “I forgot to tell her.”

Li Dong wore a white coat over a gray sweater, her high ponytail and sharp features inevitably looking serious, but this only made Sheng Sui feel more warmth toward her.

The woman turned to look at him and asked softly: “Next time she comes to the hospital, if we meet, do you need me to help convey anything?”

“Thank you, but I won’t trouble Dr. Li.”

Zhou Shiyu quietly gazed out the window at the falling dead leaves. After a long time, he turned back to smile slightly at Li Dong, the curve of his lips showing beautiful expectations for the near future:

“I will find her.”

“Right when spring arrives next year, which she loves most.”

“…”

The video ended abruptly there. Sheng Sui saw her own face reflected in the black screen, her emotions inexplicably melancholy.

Closing the laptop and putting down the cat, she sat hugging her knees on the long chair, looking outside and turning her head to see the sunset glow through the window, sprinkling golden powder across the boundless earth.

“…Why are you spacing out?”

Accompanied by the reassuring, slightly bitter woody fragrance, the man’s magnetic low voice entered her ears.

Sheng Sui looked up to see Zhou Shiyu placing his gold-rimmed glasses and the Patek Philippe from his left wrist on the nearby vanity table, then picking up the documents he had just set down, seeming to want to say something but stopping himself.

Usually, the first thing the man did when coming home was to take off his suit and change into casual clothes. Today, however, he came straight to Sheng Sui, obviously having something important to discuss.

“A bit tired,” Sheng Sui lowered her eyes to the thin document in the man’s hands, thought for a moment, then took the initiative to speak:

“Actually, about the child—”

“Suisui.”

The slightly hoarse voice interrupted the second half of Sheng Sui’s sentence. Zhou Shiyu sat down on the opposite edge of the bed. After meeting each other’s eyes for a moment, he avoided eye contact for the first time: “I’ve carefully considered what you said last night.”

“—I’m very sorry. I can’t give you a child.”

“Bipolar disorder has a high hereditary rate. Just like the condition I inherited from that man, it could very likely be passed to our next generation.”

Because of these words expressing his helplessness, Zhou Shiyu seemed to remember something, slightly furrowing his brow, his tone somewhat difficult: “If I could choose, I would rather not have been brought into this world.”

“…”

Sheng Sui stared blankly at her lover’s appearance, suddenly remembering the hopeful smile that sixteen-year-old Zhou Shiyu had shown in the video she had just watched.

“But I know that just depriving you of the qualification to become a mother like this is even more unfair to you.”

Seeing Sheng Sui remain silent, Zhou Shiyu tightened his grip on the documents with his left hand. The scars that had healed years ago began to itch faintly on his wrist. He took a deep breath and continued:

“So, if you can accept it, let’s adopt a child.”

As he spoke, Zhou Shiyu handed over the folder in his hands, placing it in Sheng Sui’s palm.

“…”

Sheng Sui didn’t open it immediately, only staring steadily at the man’s dark eyes. After a long moment, she said softly: “There seem to be related regulations. We don’t meet the adoption standards.”

Hearing that she had even looked into these things, Zhou Shiyu instantly felt his throat go dry: “So the folder contains relevant materials for fifteen countries where we could adopt children. It’s just that the related procedures would be more complicated and require more time.”

“Also,” the man’s tone paused, “if you’re still willing to look, the last part of the documents contains the preliminary design drawings for our backyard.”

“…”

Upon hearing this, Sheng Sui finally reacted. Her fingertips trembling lightly, she clumsily opened the folder, skipping all the application materials and going directly to the last few pages—

The backyard was lush and green, clearly depicting her beloved spring season. Brown wooden fences surrounded the territory, and drawn most prominently within were a slide and a swing.

—This was the scene she had casually mentioned when talking about a family of three with Zhou Shiyu last night.

“…If you like it, we could also build a pavilion and flower beds for planting, or if you want shade, we could change it to a pool or fountain. The child could play on the lawn while we sunbathe or read books over here…”

Sheng Sui lowered her head, quietly listening to Zhou Shiyu describe, complete, and give concrete form to her once-dreamed vision of a family of three.

She touched the drawing with her fingers, thinking of the truly hopeful expression of the sixteen-year-old boy in her mind. Finally, after Zhou Shiyu finished speaking, she looked up again to ask:

“Zhou Shiyu, do you want a child?”

“I don’t know how much responsibility it takes to raise a life; or rather, in my upbringing experience, the role of father itself makes me feel disgust and fear.”

The two gazes met in the air. Zhou Shiyu, unwilling to lie, said honestly in a deep voice: “But if you really want a child, I’m willing to do my best to become a qualified father.”

After a long time, Sheng Sui heard her own voice, trembling and tearful despite her efforts to control it: “…Why?”

Seeing tears glimmering in his lover’s eyes, the man raised his hand to gently stroke her hair, saying tenderly:

“Because I love you more than anything in the world.”

So, even with countless obstacles and dangers, he didn’t want her to have any regrets.

“…”

Sheng Sui felt hot tears rolling down her cheeks. She closed the folder and set it aside, smiling at her lover with curved lips: “I feel the same way.”

She looked into the man’s eyes and said seriously, word by word: “Zhou Shiyu, if having children would be a burden for you, not having children is also fine.”

Before Zhou Shiyu could speak, Sheng Sui continued first: “Do you know why I once really wanted a child?”

“…Tell me.”

“Because my childhood family of origin made me feel that there was too big a gap in my life,” Sheng Sui felt Zhou Shiyu’s left hand getting slightly cold, so she covered the back of the man’s hand with her other hand, speaking very slowly. “At that time, I didn’t believe marriage could fill this gap either, so ‘having a child’ became an obsession—to make up for childhood regrets.”

“But when I realized during the day that we might not be able to have children, I was calmer than I imagined, even quickly accepting reality and feeling that not having children wasn’t a big deal.”

Sheng Sui squeezed Zhou Shiyu’s hand, with some remnant of tears in her voice, smiling with curved eyebrows:

“I discovered that the barren land in my heart that once couldn’t grow anything has already bloomed with hundreds of flowers because of the infinite spring light you gave me.”

Sheng Sui picked up the document folder from her lap and placed it back in Zhou Shiyu’s arms, then raised her hands to hug the man, whispering in his ear: “Same as you, before meeting you, I firmly believed that I would never be able to treat anyone with sincerity again in this lifetime—because my parents never taught me how to love someone.”

“But that’s not how it really is.”

“Zhou Shiyu, in this marriage, I’ve felt love beyond imagination and gradually learned how to give love—more importantly, I finally learned how to love myself.”

“You’re much smarter than me. I believe you’ve also gained a lot.”

“…”

In the spacious and empty bedroom, Sheng Sui felt the man silently bury his head in her neck, hugging her tightly while also showing dependence:

“Don’t you feel it’s a pity to compromise like this?”

“It’s not really a compromise. I prefer to call it a ‘choice’.”

Sheng Sui suddenly remembered their trip to Beijing North, when Liang Xubai had asked her a question in the hotel lobby:

【—There are some normal people in this world who, because of their relationships with mental illness patients, also feel pain and helplessness—What does Teacher Sheng think enables them to persist?】

Sheng Sui’s answer at the time was: Pain can’t make people persist, but happiness can—Similarly, people can choose happiness. Sometimes what others see as suffering might be choices made for future happiness.

“I think my current choice is no different from you choosing a diabetic as your lover.”

She had never been good with words, and seeing that Zhou Shiyu had unusually not refuted for so long, she couldn’t help but feel slightly surprised: “Even if you insist on calling such behavior ‘compromise,’ then these compromises, hesitations, and concessions, or our respective imperfections, are all thoughtfully filled by each other—doesn’t this prove even more that we love each other?”

“Of course, if you truly want children someday, these documents won’t become waste paper,” Sheng Sui hugged him and swayed gently, lowering her head to kiss Zhou Shiyu’s forehead:

“Children are just accessories to this marriage. It’s fine whether we have them or not.”

“…”

Zhou Shiyu, who had been silent for a long time, suddenly spoke in a deep voice, his tone no longer hoarse: “Books say not to ‘objectify’ children, but to empathize more and acknowledge all their emotions.”

Sheng Sui couldn’t help but laugh softly. Looking up to meet the man’s dark eyes, she said with a smile: “Where did you read this? Don’t tell me President Zhou not only bought parenting books but also secretly read them during work hours.”

The frozen atmosphere instantly dissolved. Zhou Shiyu heard the teasing in his lover’s voice and slightly raised his eyebrows: “If I told you I’ve already looked into several baby nurses and signed up for expectant father skills training classes, would Mrs. Zhou laugh at me even more?”

“No.”

Sheng Sui suppressed the emotion in her heart, not over-emphasizing the importance of ‘becoming a father,’ just hugging him and emphasizing: “If you can find happiness in this, then do it.”

“If you can’t, your Mrs. Zhou will love you forever as always.”

Author’s Note:

I hope I’ve made the answer about the baby clear in the main text: They can find a way to adopt a child, and the timing will be when Zhou Shiyu truly wants a child—not because Suisui wants a child (about this point, it would be easier to understand if we gender-swapped it. I hope a baby’s arrival is based on both parents wanting him to be born, coming to this world with blessings).

The next Yu Chun Guang – Chapter will be the end of the main story, and it will be a bit longer. Also, I’ve been working overtime and staying up too late recently and really need a good night’s sleep, so the update is tentatively scheduled for the evening of May 3rd. See you then!

As always, please leave comments and nutrient solution, kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss

Thank you very much for everyone’s support. I will continue to work hard!