Compared to Yinze’s harsh ruthlessness, when Fu Chenzhi saw me, he was as happy as rice flowers popping in boiling water. But not long after his happiness, he also began giving me a harsh and ruthless lecture: “You left without saying goodbye, and it was actually to become a demon? Did you think about my feelings?”

“Your lifespan is extremely long, so why worry about these short hundred years? If I became a demon, I could always stay with you—wouldn’t that be better…” Seeing his face still clouded over, I couldn’t help but provoke him, “Could it be that brother can’t go even one day without me?”

Fu Chenzhi said sternly, “Nonsense. How could this elder brother be such a useless person?”

So it was “elder brother” again. I smiled and didn’t expose him, just felt happy in my heart. Although the demon transformation was just a misunderstanding, after a day of deep contemplation, I finally made a decision: morning and evening, one stick of incense, praying to gods and buddhas, loving Master, being filial to Master, but I must follow rules and regulations—not disturbing Master without reason, not contradicting Master, thinking thrice before acting. Most importantly, cultivating wholeheartedly and striving upward. Indeed, after a period of discipline, without idle matters weighing on my mind, these were good times in the mortal world.

After reducing contact with Master, my opportunities to spend time with Fu Chenzhi greatly increased. Because I loved strolling and looking at flowers and exotic beasts, whenever he had time, he often took me wandering around Tianshi City. Though he was older than I, being with him was indeed much more relaxed than being with Yinze. After this, Goddess Qingwu also visited from time to time. She was naturally beautiful and graceful, standing beside Yinze without appearing inferior in the slightest. As time passed, in all the disciples’ hearts, she gradually became the unspoken master’s wife. Unconsciously, I discovered that Yinze was spending more time in the Divine Realm than in the Immortal Realm. Everything seemed to return to that period when I was neglected by the Master. But this time it was voluntary, so I no longer harbored resentment. Occasionally, seeing this divine couple, my heart would indeed feel some indescribable sorrow. This feeling reached its peak one afternoon.

In the blink of an eye, winter passed and spring came, with flower fragrance filling the fields. While practicing at dawn on Mount Baidi, I saw Yinze and Goddess Qingwu passing through. They came slowly from the sea of clouds. Qingwu picked several peach blossoms, held them to her nose to smell lightly, then had Yinze pin the flowers in her temple hair. Yinze didn’t seem to like doing such things, but still agreed to her request. They stood under the peach blossom tree, she lowered her head under his wide sleeves, smiling with a face full of shy sweetness. I originally planned to slip away secretly, but I accidentally met their gaze through the flower branches. Seeing me, Qingwu steadied the peach flowers at her temple and waved to me: “Yinze, look quickly, your disciple is over there too. Let’s pin a flower for her as well.”

Yinze said, “She’s still young, at the age for diligent cultivation and hard practice. Don’t let her fiddle with these frivolous things.”

What made my heart shudder wasn’t Yinze’s consistently stern answer, but Qingwu’s words. I hadn’t heard wrong, had I? We rarely even mention Master’s great name normally. In the past, she would respectfully address Master as “Divine Lord Yinze,” but she called him “Yinze.” This small change in address wasn’t a big deal in itself. But that casual, intimate familiarity in her tone was like a thousand-pound boulder pressing heavily on my chest. Ignoring his refusal, she pulled me over and picked flowers to pin in my hair: “Good thing you’re not my master, otherwise that would truly be terrible luck. Look at her—such a lovely girl. If she wore a head full of flowers, she’d look like a flower fairy.”

She undid my hair, braided a thick plait at the back, then inserted peach blossoms one by one, truly making me into a flower fairy. In Yinze’s view, such things were undoubtedly a waste of time. Because throughout Qingwu’s styling of me from beginning to end, he only glanced at me lightly a few times. Goddess Qingwu, however, played with great enthusiasm, saying my hair was beautiful one moment, saying little girls should be like this to be likeable, the next. Facing such a big-sister-like Goddess Qingwu, I indeed found it difficult to feel disgust, but that heavy sourness in my heart was also truly impossible to share with anyone. Stealing another glance at Master, I saw rich flower colors, paired cranes flying, clouds and mist spreading from Mount Baidi to the ends of the earth. He was tall and slender, his skin lustrous white, permeated with frost and snow not yet melted from winter, both movingly beautiful and startlingly cold. The Cangying God’s water pattern markings were clearly defined, imprinted on his snow-colored skin, constantly reminding others that this person symbolized divine authority and wasn’t someone just anyone could approach.

Sensing that he was also looking at me, my mood became extremely flustered. I immediately lowered my gaze, looking at the fragrant grass covered with fallen petals. I didn’t know when it started, but even looking at him one more time made me feel guilty like a thief. I didn’t want to probe deeply into what kind of feeling this was, but my heart already understood clearly: I liked Master very much, was very attached to him, and didn’t want to leave him. The only way to stay by his side for a long, long time was to give up. Similarly, I didn’t know what exactly I was giving up. I only knew that the process of giving up was very painful.

Later, Goddess Qingwu flew to another peak to pick flowers. I breathed a sigh of relief and was about to turn and sneak away when I saw that Yinze wasn’t leaving. Since Master wasn’t leaving, how could his disciple leave? I stood up, quietly waiting for Master to depart. But he only gazed at the thousand-mile clouds and mist, his voice quiet as water: “Speak. What’s the reason?”

I said, “What reason?”

“You’ve been avoiding me lately. What’s the reason?”

Avoid Master? How would I dare? It was just that there were many things I disliked. I disliked that you always blamed me without explanation, disliked that others’ misunderstanding of our relationship brought many troubles, disliked that you walked so close with Goddess Qingwu, disliked that Goddess Qingwu called you “Yinze,” disliked that you looked at other women even once, disliked that you always left without saying goodbye, disliked that you always stayed in the Divine Realm… So many dissatisfying things—if they could be packed in a purple-gold gourd like demons, they would probably establish a second Lianyao Valley. Not one of these reasons could be spoken aloud. I smiled, “This disciple isn’t avoiding Master, just wants to learn to be more obedient and cause Master less trouble.”

“Wei’er, if you have worries or requirements of me, you might as well speak frankly. I won’t punish you.”

I became so nervous I couldn’t even lie well: “This disciple has no worries.” This was Master’s most frightening aspect—no matter what I was thinking, he seemed to know everything. Of course, I had been under his tutelage for over ten years. To see through a little brat like me wouldn’t take him much time.

Sure enough, he pondered for a while, then said directly: “Actually, some things you think are impossible aren’t as difficult as you imagine. I told you long ago that nothing can stump your Master.”

This speech left me completely confused as I gazed at him blankly. At this moment, a swirl of peach blossoms fell, interrupting our train of thought. He waited quietly for the wind to pass, then said: “But there are also some things that you find hard to bear, yet are a thousand times more difficult for others. After all, when people die, they have no more attachments—living is what’s painful. If you don’t even give a hint, I don’t know where to begin.”

Carefully considering each word he said, I vaguely understood something. This seemed to have some connection with what I wanted to give up. After my thoughts remained blank for a long time, I finally said: “Master speaks so profoundly that this disciple doesn’t understand. This disciple has decided to return and ponder carefully. This disciple will withdraw first.”

Actually, it was just some plain, ordinary conversation, but after returning, I inexplicably buried myself under the covers and cried loudly, crying until my eyes swelled. Afraid others would notice, I condensed ice to reduce the swelling. After that, he never brought up similar topics with me again. I originally thought I had finally guarded this cautious feeling, that we would maintain this relationship for life, but I didn’t expect a significant incident in the middle to pull everything off track.

That incident was a disaster in the Eastern Sea. The Dragon King sent people to report that recently, large numbers of water demons had been rampaging in the Eastern Sea, killing living beings without restraint, including shrimp soldiers and crab generals from the Dragon Palace’s sea patrols. These water demons were different from ordinary water demons—they had no scales but the same azure hair and snow-white skin, and could manipulate water. The Dragon King had captured a batch and thought this matter might be related to Cangying Gate, so he first informed Divine Lord Yinze. Hearing this description, both Fu Chenzhi and I froze, and everyone present couldn’t help but glance at me. So I requested to descend to the mortal realm with fellow disciples to meet the Dragon Palace people.

On this day, the heavy rain had just stopped, and the sea winds howled. From high above, I saw several water demons sent up by the Dragon King. Among them was a youth about my age, his skin slightly darker than the others, with thick eyebrows and large eyes, extremely displeased as he tried to break free from the demon-binding seaweed rope. I immediately rushed down, asking in shock: “Is… is that Hanmo?”

The youth looked up at me in confusion, soon showing only amazement: “…Luowei? How is this possible? Aren’t you already dead?” He looked again at Fu Chenzhi, stiffened briefly, then suddenly raged: “And you! Fu Chenzhi, you bastard! Luowei, why are you still with him? Suozhao became like this all because of him!”

“What happened to Suozhao? Where is Suozhao now? What about my second sister? Is that scumbag Lord Kaixuan still in Suozhao? Wait, why are you here? How did you all get out?”

We had too many questions, confusing both the Dragon Palace people and Cangying Gate disciples. Later, Fu Chenzhi explained that these people weren’t water demons and had them release the captives first, allowing Hanmo and the others to be freed. Having received no news from Suozhao for over ten years, my joy at reuniting with old friends was naturally indescribable. However, the first thing Hanmo did after being released was rush over to attack Fu Chenzhi. Fu Chenzhi easily knocked him down, but he showed no fear and challenged him several more times. Finally, this impulsive fellow grew somewhat tired and agreed to stop fighting. Finding a coastline to sit down, we had an intimate conversation for over two hours.

It turned out that Suozhao’s geographical location had moved from the far north to the far west, situated among high mountains with desolate surroundings, much colder in winter and hotter in summer—the living environment incomparably worse than before. But worse still, not long after I left Suozhao, Second Sister, thinking I had jumped off a cliff in shame, fell into extreme fragility and married Lord Kaixuan. After marriage, she never recovered, her mental health deteriorating day by day. Within a year, Suozhao’s ruling power had fallen into Lord Kaixuan’s hands, with Second Sister as Suozhao Emperor existing in name only. Lord Kaixuan was originally a poet-like immortal, well-versed in romance but completely ignorant about governing. Day after day, he sought pleasure, night after night, music played until dawn—the entire Suozhao was thrown into chaos by him. Whenever ministers reported financial exhaustion and people’s suffering, he would blame it all on Suozhao’s relocation. Over ten years, the only skill this scumbag learned was speaking more and more sweetly while completing not a single promise. In recent years, Suozhao suffered frequent droughts with crops failing to grow, but whenever someone suggested establishing diplomatic relations with foreign races, Lord Kaixuan would viciously order prohibitions, threatening execution of nine generations for violators. Thus, the Suozhao people had no choice but to seek food outside, though it was all a drop in the bucket.

Listening to Hanmo, my anger grew fiercer, and I snapped the sea conch in my hands into two pieces: “Lord Kaixuan, that scumbag!”

“I never imagined the real culprit was this fellow—truly hateful! Detestable!” At this point, Hanmo looked at Fu Chenzhi with full apology: “Chenzhi, I’ve been wrongly blaming you all these years. I’m sorry.”

Fu Chenzhi said, “No matter. The urgent priority is that we should return to Suozhao. Hanmo, let’s first report to Master, then you can guide us there.”

However, after informing Yinze of this matter, he only said: “Chenzhi cannot go.”

Fu Chenzhi and I said in unison: “Why?”

“First, though this child called Hanmo believes you, will other Suozhao people believe him? You have no evidence of Lord Kaixuan’s frame-up. At such a sensitive time, the slightest instigation could trigger popular anger. Lord Kaixuan might even replay his old tricks, which would implicate Wei’er’s reunion with Second Sister.” At this point, Yinze glanced at Fu Chenzhi. “Second, Chenzhi, you know your condition. Can you leave Tianshi City for extended periods now?”

Fu Chenzhi fell silent. Regarding Yinze’s second reason, I had many questions, but usually brother wouldn’t hide secrets from me. If he didn’t say, there must be unspeakable difficulties. So I didn’t ask further, only saying: “It’s fine. This was originally our Suozhao people’s mess. I’ll go alone.”

“Weiwei, I want to go with you, but I…” Fu Chenzhi lowered his head slightly and sighed softly. “If I went, I might add fuel to the fire.”

“Trust me, I’ll find a way.” I patted his arm. “Brother, I’m not the little child I was back then.”

This incident arose suddenly. I hastily packed that day and bid farewell to everyone at dusk. Yinze, who usually maintained a strict hierarchy, actually escorted me out of Cangying Manor to the post station. Presumably, he had the same thought as I: this parting meant we didn’t know how many years would pass before we could meet again. Yinze said, “Wei’er, when you reach the Eastern Sea, let the others go first. Someone will come to take you back.”

“Alright.”

“Go then.”

Fu Chenzhi and I boarded the Roc together. I turned my head, looking at Master standing by the crimson sea of clouds, and waved to him: “Master, this disciple is leaving!”

“Mm.” He nodded.

“This disciple promises you that after handling Suozhao’s affairs, I’ll return immediately!”

“Mm. Come back early.”

Watching the roc spread its wings and rise, its figure growing smaller and smaller, I called loudly: “Master, you must take good care of yourself! This disciple is leaving!”

Whether he answered later, what he answered, I never heard again. Because Fu Chenzhi was beside me, the tears brimming in my eyes never fell. I only knew the roc was merciless, the setting sun crimson red, extending beyond the clouds and mist. Soon, I could no longer see any trace of Master.

Fu Chenzhi escorted me directly to the Eastern Sea. I don’t know why, but my separation from him wasn’t as difficult as with Master. Because I knew my brother would always stay by my side. Whenever possible, he would do everything in his power to find me. I could also see him anytime, anywhere. He, however, was quite sentimental, insisting I must write letters to him. After waiting a long time, having matters in the immortal realm, he reluctantly left early. When Hanmo and the others boarded the Wen Ray, I saw a long shadow soaring from the sea mist.

I said in amazement: “Lord Azure Dragon?!”

The Azure Dragon stopped before me, only raising his head to indicate I should mount his back. I hesitated briefly, then jumped up, immediately feeling incredibly small: “I didn’t expect you to be Master’s friend…”

The Azure Dragon ignored me. I said, “Of course, you’re the Azure Dragon, he lives in Azure Dragon Heaven—you’d know each other somehow. The world is really small.”

He still ignored me. So I tactfully stopped speaking. The Azure Dragon rode the wind, flying three thousand li in one go. Several times, I felt I would be thrown off, so I gripped his fur tightly. He flew faster and faster until gradually, only the vast sea and bright moon remained around us. Looking at the distant night sky, Master’s countenance appeared in my mind again and again. All along, I always said Master feared loneliness and parting, so I constantly emphasized wanting to stay with him forever, wanting to give him security and make him less lonely. The person who truly lacked security was I. I feared that after my short three-hundred-year lifespan ended, the traces I left in his life wouldn’t even compare to those ephemeral women. Unconsciously, that longing also quietly overflowed.

“Lord Azure Dragon… I’m so unwilling.” I lay on the Azure Dragon’s back, sobbing softly. “Why can I only live three hundred years? I like Master so much. I just want to accompany him for eternity. Why… why is this so difficult…”

The Azure Dragon naturally didn’t respond.

I said, “But I think leaving was right. I no longer qualify to stay by Master’s side. My feelings for him have become very abnormal. I don’t like Goddess Qingwu always following him—I just want to monopolize him. Once he doesn’t look at me, I get very angry. In the deep of night, just thinking of him with someone else makes me toss and turn sleeplessly, my heart cutting like knives. Even now, when he’s not beside me, my heart hurts so much…”

The Azure Dragon’s flight speed slowed somewhat, but he remained silent. I wiped my tears on his fur, saying softly: “I don’t want anything. I just want to always be with Master, just want to always be his disciple… I don’t want anything at all…”

“Do you truly want nothing at all?”

“Hm?” I suddenly raised my head.

The Azure Dragon had spoken. But… why was this voice a Master’s?

“Do you truly just want to be a disciple who wants nothing?”

“Yes, yes, what else…”

“I can transform into your Master. Look clearly at his appearance, then think about what you want.”

Then the Azure Dragon stopped beside a mountain range, let me down, and transformed into mist. Gradually, a human figure emerged from the mist. Seeing Yinze’s appearance, I covered my mouth in shock: “How can it be so similar?”

“What do you think now?”

Seeing these eyes before me, my heart felt like it was being pulled by a small saw again, so painful that I had to press my chest with my hand. I said, “Still very sad.”

“Still want nothing?”

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

He stood so close that I became too nervous to breathe, instinctively retreating to avoid him. Who knew he would grab my wrist with one hand, pull me back, embrace my waist with the other hand, then lower his head and kiss my lips heavily. Hearing myself make a sound like a startled small beast, I immediately struggled to escape, but he used even more force to restrain me. Then his lips loosened slightly, staying against my lips as he said in a low voice: “This—don’t you want it?”

In my mind, only blankness remained. His passionate gaze made me know this wasn’t Master. Master would never look at me with such eyes. Even so, because the two were so similar, my entire body and even my heart trembled slightly. Seeing no reaction from me, he lowered his head to quickly kiss me twice, then, while caressing my lips, explored with his tongue. The moment our tongues touched, I felt my heart beating so wildly it might break. I groaned and turned my head away: “No, no, this really won’t do…”

“Wei’er, turn back.”

Though still a commanding tone, it inexplicably felt lingering. From my scalp to my tailbone, it was like an electric current passing through. I uncontrollably turned my head back. He lifted my chin and kissed down again. This time wasn’t any better. He only symbolically intertwined gently with me for a moment before kissing wildly and roughly. I truly knew this was something the lofty Divine Lord Yinze would never do. Yet it was like being poisoned by opium poppies, creating the illusion of being burned by his passion. My heart ached almost to suffocation, yet felt like my whole body was filled with the sweetest honey…

Finally, I sat dejectedly on the ground, lowering my head and constantly wiping tears. After discovering the truth, I wasn’t much more relaxed than before—instead, I felt more desperate.

“It really won’t do. He’s my Master… I regard him as a father. I really can’t do such things that violate ethics…”

“If he had feelings for you beyond the master-disciple relationship, would you still think this way?”

I shook my head vigorously: “He won’t. He doesn’t like me…”

“You’ve never asked him. How would you know?”

“I don’t want to ask him. I just want to be his disciple.”

“Your reaction doesn’t seem like you just want to be a disciple.” He remained silent for a long time, as if testing: “If he wanted to marry you as his wife, would you agree?”