Afterward, bringing the Prayer Rain Spirit Pearl back to Suzhao, we summoned rain that very day, restoring beautiful Suzhao with its crisscrossing waterways. In an instant, all the Suzhao clanspeople were unanimously grateful to me. I thought that since we possessed such a sacred artifact, we could not only manage the drought but also rely on the spirit pearl’s power to do something for Suzhao. After all, during this period, all six realms were in dire straits.

Heroes emerge in troubled times. If Suzhao could grasp this opportunity well, establish diplomatic relations with powerful clans, and supply water power, we might achieve revival and even expand our influence.

I had thought Second Sister would wholeheartedly agree, but when I told her this idea, she only smiled coldly: “My dear sister, you’ve truly stayed in the celestial realm too long—you’ve forgotten who you are.”

I asked in confusion: “What do you mean?”

“I’ve heard everything. To obtain this Prayer Rain Spirit Pearl, you’ve already caused the Kingdom of Liuhuang Feng to disappear from this world. What you’ve done—how is it different from those hypocritical immortals like Huangdao Immortal Lord? Taking advantage of others’ misfortune and occupying weak countries—how is it different from Lord Kaixuan?”

“Second Sister, how can you say such things?” I opened my eyes wide in disbelief and laughed mockingly. “Without this spirit pearl, could your beloved Lord Kong survive? Everything I did was for Suzhao.”

“Luowei, let’s not talk about these irrelevant matters. If Father and Mother’s spirits know about the afterlife, seeing what you’ve done today, would they rest in peace? Would they be proud of you? Think it through yourself.”

I had indeed considered this question. The Feng people had repeatedly disturbed my peaceful dreams, crying into a river of blood at night. In dreams, the Feng monarch had become a dried corpse, constantly repeating eight words to me: “Repaying kindness with enmity, dying a terrible death.” But at this point, if I sought a way back, wouldn’t it already be too late?

So, without Second Sister’s permission, I gathered troops and cultivated spiritual power in Suzhao, setting my sights on a small city a hundred li away. I planned to negotiate with them when the time came, offering water source support in exchange for their surrender. If they wouldn’t accept the soft approach, we’d use force. Thanks to the merit of bringing back the spirit pearl, people rallied to respond, and soon the military office had assembled a ten-thousand-strong army. Who knew that upon learning this news, Second Sister would order obstruction, saying no one could mobilize troops without her permission.

I could completely understand others’ opposition. What I couldn’t accept was Second Sister’s rejection. As a nation’s ruler, how could she be so naive and harmless? The victor becomes king, the defeated becomes a bandit—this was originally the world’s natural law.

One night, I tied up Kongshu and used this to threaten Second Sister, making her announce illness and hand over national affairs to me. Kongshu had always been Second Sister’s weakness. She barely resisted before surrendering all power. I confined them to Zichao Palace, not allowing them to leave even half a step, then went out myself to conquer cities with great fanfare.

Thus, within fifty years, even the famous Snow Demon Kingdom fell to me. However, on the morning I brought back this good news, Second Sister died in the forbidden palace. Originally, the successor should have been her children, but I seized this opportunity, using the same methods to confine my nephews and ascended the throne myself, becoming the new Suzhao Emperor.

The day after my coronation, Sushu came to bid farewell, saying he was preparing to return to the East Sea: “Now that Your Majesty has ascended the throne and Xihe has come of age, my continued stay serves no purpose.”

“Why? There’s no harm in you continuing to stay in Suzhao.”

He bowed to me with cupped hands and smiled gently: “I always live in the past, by the side of the former Little Princess. This isn’t fair to Your Majesty either. I hope Your Majesty will take good care of yourself in the future and find the next zither player soon.”

Only when he mentioned this did I suddenly realize I hadn’t played the zither or admired the moon for nearly fifty years.

After Sushu left, I was indeed melancholy for a while, but fortunately, I had my daughter’s company. After handling state affairs, during quiet times when the night watch sounded, I wasn’t too lonely. Later, as I campaigned east and west, the obscure name “Suzhao” appeared in more and more countries’ books.

More and more envoys came seeking our help and support, and those with ill intentions actively attacked our gates, but we repelled them all. Finally, one day, among the visitors came a guest from beyond the heavens.

“Thinking it over, only you can complete this task.” Zixiu wore purple-black robes with purple trim, but his smile was as pure as a child’s. “I want you to impersonate Shangyan and bring her back to my side. Afterward, whatever land you want, I can give you. Whatever you want eliminated, I’ll make them die.”

From Zixiu, I learned that Shangyan was in Tianshi City and was pregnant with Yinze’s child. Hearing this, the fire of jealousy nearly consumed me entirely. I agreed to his request without hesitation. With his help, I learned transformation magic, took on Shangyan’s appearance, and went alone to Tianshi City.

However, I did something that killed two birds with one stone: using transformation magic, I turned a fairy who had secretly loved Zixiu for years into Shangyan, sent her to find Zixiu, then killed the real Shangyan, including her prominently swollen seven-month child. Zixiu quickly discovered the deception and fell into complete madness, launching the most terrible God-Slaying War in history.

With his indirect assistance, the drought intensified, and Greater Suzhao again occupied countless territories. The situation was excellent.

Finally, after waiting several more years, I made all preparations and returned triumphantly to Tianshi City, requesting an audience with Yinze at Cangying Manor.

“Lady Luowei, you’ve finally come. The Divine Lord has been waiting for you inside for quite some time,” a boy servant led me in, saying this.

Following the winding corridor, I came to the courtyard. Here, flowers had all fallen, wine fragrance filled the air, and the lonely moon spilled silver frost all over the ground. Golden wine vessels sat on a stone table. Yinze stood with his back to me beneath a peach tree, seemingly quietly observing the fallen flowers.

Hearing approaching footsteps, Yinze turned around, looking at me through the flower branches with a shallow smile that appeared somewhat melancholy: “Wei’er, it’s been so long. Your hair has turned white.”

This smile was cold as frost and snow, yet had led countless people astray. I gazed at him quietly for a long time, saying: “Do you still prefer black hair?”

“No, this is also very beautiful. I just don’t understand why your appearance hasn’t aged even half a bit.”

“Don’t you like how I look when young?”

“I do. As long as it’s Wei’er’s appearance, I like it all.”

Getting such an answer from him, I was finally satisfied. Actually, after so many years of conquest and toil, I had long since developed wrinkles around my eyes and dried-up pupils. Though I hadn’t become completely aged, I certainly didn’t have this tender, youthful appearance.

Being able to maintain youth was because among the talents sent to Suzhao from foreign countries, there was a physician skilled in youth-preserving arts. In the golden pill formula he prescribed for me, one ingredient was “Qiongqi’s Pupils.” For this, Xuanyue had violently resisted, but finally compromised, gouging out one eyeball for me. Since then, he left Suzhao, and I don’t know where he is now.

After taking the golden pills, my appearance was identical to my youth. However, these pills only had ten years’ efficacy. If I didn’t continue taking medicine after ten years, I might very well turn into a ghost face. The physician told me that when the time came, I could continue refining medicine or directly put on a layer of skin like painted skin ghosts.

It was somewhat bitter, but we’d cross that bridge when we came to it. When the ten years expired, there would surely be a solution. But now, appearing in this manner, I could stay by this person’s side for a long, long time as in the past. I smiled: “I’m still the same as before—in my heart, there’s only Master.”

Walking to this point was like searching through endless mountains and rivers, treading across the ends of the earth.

I remembered a story about a dancing girl I’d read in a book: this dancing girl could sing and dance well, but was always too harsh on herself. So she practiced dancing day and night until her legs broke. Everyone sympathized with her, but she felt nothing. One day, she saw her reflection in water and discovered she wasn’t as beautiful as imagined—on the contrary, she was incomplete and damaged. Finally, she knelt on the ground and cried.

I think the reason I don’t consider myself pitiful is because, like the dancing girl, I can’t see how I look in others’ eyes.

All along, I never felt I’d sacrificed much. Only at this moment did I realize that my friends and family had long since scattered, my old companions withered away.

Thinking back to those years, on a similar night, Brother had brought me under the tree to find Master, and had also childishly declared I was his unbetrothed wife. At that time, I probably couldn’t have imagined in any way that Master, so close yet seemingly at heaven’s edge, would lead me to this point.

Over the years, to be closer to him, to stand by his side, what foolish things had I done…

But despite being bruised and battered all over, changed until even I couldn’t recognize myself, I had ultimately returned to his side once again…

I walked before Yinze: “I know Shangyan’s death makes you very sad. It’s alright—I said I would always guard you. Even if you treat me as her, I don’t mind.”

“Don’t mind?”

I gently shook my head: “You can have her in your heart.”

His fingers became a spring breeze, stroking my white hair and cheek, smiling somewhat helplessly: “Wei’er, how can you be so foolish?”

I am a fool, truly infatuated with this person. No matter how much time passes, with just one word from him, I can set aside all defenses and unwillingness, returning to his embrace with thick grievance. I buried my head in his chest, hugging him tightly as if bewitched, yet feeling colder and colder.

I said tremblingly: “Yinze, I promised you before that I would stay with you forever in this life. In our future life together, there’s me, our daughter… and also, I’ll find a way to refine immortality pills. Maybe I won’t die in the future, and you won’t be lonely anymore…”

Of course, I wouldn’t tell him about the immortality pills’ hidden dangers.

I am old and truly can’t love anymore. But my feelings for Yinze are bonds as intense as blood from childhood to adulthood. This is a chronic illness that can never be cured. So, as long as I can still be in this person’s embrace, even for just an instant, even if I’d be shattered to pieces the next second…

But just then, a sharp stabbing pain pierced through my chest. I stared wide-eyed, pressing the dagger that had emerged from my back through my chest, looking at Yinze in shock: “Why… why…”

Yinze said coldly, “You killed Shangyan. If I didn’t even know this, would I still deserve to be Divine Lord?”

I was first stunned, then smiled bitterly: “That’s right, I killed her. But I love you more than she did.”

“What use is that? I don’t love you.” He pushed me to the ground, patting his hands as if having touched something dirty. “You’re not worth even one of Shangyan’s fingers.”

My breathing grew heavier but more labored. I supported myself on the ground with one hand, kneeling: “Yinze, Yinze… don’t abandon me again. My feelings for you… are genuine… You don’t know how much I’ve done for you…”

Pain spread through my limbs and bones. I struggled desperately, waving my hands, then my whole body went cold, and I suddenly opened my eyes wide. Someone had scooped water from their clothes and splashed it on me.

It wasn’t Yinze, but Shahai. He stood to the side, looking down, saying disdainfully: “Have you made enough fuss? Get up when you’re done.”

What was happening? Why was it Shahai? I hadn’t seen him for decades. Since parting at the Kingdom of Liuhuang Feng last time, there had been no news of him. Why…

Gasping for breath, I looked around and found myself lying beside an oasis in the desert. Looking down at my hands, I found my skin was still fair and delicate, without a single spot or wrinkle. The feeling of being full of energy wasn’t due to youth-preserving pills. Xuanyue and Sushu were lying not far ahead, struggling in their sleep, desperately clawing—they must be having nightmares. I immediately ran over and shook Xuanyue awake. It opened its eyes, stared at me blankly, and roared “Aow.”

Its eyes were intact. Xuanyue was still here—it hadn’t gone anywhere. I was so excited I nearly cried, hugging its fluffy body tightly. I looked at Shahai again, confused: “I don’t understand—when did I start dreaming? Was that the Kingdom of Liuhuang Feng a mirage?”

Shahai said: “Kingdom of Liuhuang Feng? We still need to walk several days to get there. I haven’t seen any mirage either. But you few suddenly and collapsed neatly while walking. I’m the one who carried you over.”

So, everything from seeing the mirage in the desert was just a dream? Wonderful—everything was just a dream that never happened… I didn’t steal the spirit pearl, didn’t kill the Prime Minister, didn’t harm Sushu, Xuanyue, Second Sister, and the others. I didn’t massacre innocents, collude with Zixiu, play both sides, didn’t mutilate myself eating pills, didn’t kill Shangyan and her child… It was all fake. How wonderful…

Then, a middle-aged man’s voice came over: “How about it, little girl? Did you enjoy this dream?”

“Who’s there?” I asked warily.

A royal spirit in Spring and Autumn period clothing floated down from the sky, slowly stopping before us, even smugly stroking his beard. I hadn’t seen this person for over a hundred years—the last time I was still a child who hadn’t grown up. But because his boredom had once shocked me, forgetting him wasn’t that easy. I said: “Emperor Fusheng? Why are you here?”

“Last time you and Divine Lord Yinze made me lose so much face, mocking and humiliating me, saying my illusion arts were just superficial, that willingly slaughtering each other in illusions was truly powerful.” Emperor Fusheng snorted coldly, folding his hands in his long sleeves. “How about it? Are you satisfied with today’s dream? To wait for your return, I’ve been carefully preparing for decades.”

Recalling what happened in the dream, I was so astonished I couldn’t speak for a long time. I truly couldn’t believe there was such a petty person in this world who’d bring scales to buy vegetables. When I was just a child speaking without thinking, he could do something this extreme. This showed he was still idle beyond belief. I looked up and shook my head: “No matter how realistic, it’s still just a dream.”

“Heh, I knew you’d say that. Do you know this dream wasn’t completed by me alone—that’s the most interesting part. This dream foretells your future and is the only way to return to Divine Lord Yinze’s side. The difference is, he won’t kill you like in the dream—that part I arbitrarily changed, just to scare you.” He chuckled twice. “If you truly return to his side this way, he’ll stay with you forever. Otherwise, you’ll probably miss each other for eternity.”

I was completely stunned. Not because I knew returning to Yinze’s side required such a sacrifice, but because I heard his words about “life’s greatest wish.”

So my life’s greatest desire wasn’t reviving Suzhao, assisting Sister, or my daughter’s happiness and safety, but this ridiculous and meaningless thing. It was to stay together forever with Yinze…

All the setbacks I’d suffered over these hundred years weren’t as devastating as this truth. Was I really this useless, this lacking in dignity? If I couldn’t even change what I wanted, what qualification did I have to be a minister or mother?

“Heh heh, heh heh.” I closed my eyes, laughing intermittently, full of bitter pain.

So after fifty-eight years of going in circles, I was still that same fool. As clumsy as ever, never having grown up even a bit. Though that person hurt me so, after spending half my life, I still couldn’t forget him.

Once, I hated him so much. Once, I also loved him so much. Time is a cruel thing—it wore away all my hatred for Yinze, but didn’t take away the part that should least be preserved.

I never knew what would happen in the future. Perhaps I’d have to wait longer—maybe in another fifty years I could be free. Perhaps until I died, I still couldn’t escape.

I began to feel afraid. If one day I became too old to walk but still thought of him, would this life be finished?

Emperor Fusheng laughed: “How about it? This dream is both beautiful and cruel—don’t you find it very contradictory? Should you do this? Hahahaha, I just love seeing that expression on your face…”

“Haha.”

This laughter didn’t come from me, nor was it Shahai’s or Sushu’s voice, but floated over from above the oasis waters. Emperor Fusheng’s face darkened: “Old Drought Demon, you and I mind our own business—you’d better not interfere in my affairs.”

“Emperor Fusheng, after a hundred years, I didn’t expect you to still be so stupid, without any progress.” This person’s voice was strange, sounding like two voices overlapping.

“I’m stupid? No matter how stupid, I’m not as stupid as a half-demon afraid of children’s urine and black dog blood.”

“See, you’re still the same—exploding at the slightest provocation, speaking without thinking. From just now until now, you’ve been trying to trick this girl into mutilating herself to pursue Divine Lord Yinze, but you haven’t considered that Divine Lord Yinze is completely devoted to her—there’s no need for you to set traps.”

Emperor Fusheng said disdainfully: “How clever of you to guess.”

The Drought Demon chuckled twice: “Does this even need guessing? Falling into the demonic path, barely able to protect himself, yet still following her to protect her—isn’t that devoted enough?”