Shang Zhitao walked with Luke through the silent, long night.

That day, the snow fell heavier and heavier, finally becoming the respectable snowfall that Lu Mi had wanted. In those years, Beijing rarely had snow, but occasionally, when it snowed like this, the entire city was illuminated bright white under the night lights.

Snow fell on Shang Zhitao’s hat and scarf, slowly accumulating into a layer. Luke liked snow, sometimes stopping to push his nose into the accumulated snow to take a sniff. But he wasn’t happy and would occasionally look back.

Shang Zhitao wanted to take a taxi, but it was difficult to get one on such a snowy night. So she called Sun Yu: “Can you come pick me up?”

Sun Yu had never seen Shang Zhitao in such a disheveled state.

She looked like she had just experienced a frost, her entire body still covered in coldness. Luke lay in the back seat without a trace of vitality.

“I failed to advance,” Shang Zhitao told Sun Yu. “I prepared for a long time, thought I would win. But I lost.”

Sun Yu listened quietly as she drove slowly through the snowy night. Outside, pedestrians had disappeared, and there were hardly any people, just the silent snowstorm. When it snowed, she would think of Sun Yuanzhu, and so would Shang Zhitao. After staying quiet for a long time, Sun Yu finally said to her: “Taotao, do you want to be a vice president at my company? Look, we should secure our Series C funding next year. This is also thanks to…” Sun Yu glanced at her, avoiding mentioning Luan Nian’s name: “I think with your abilities, you could be a professional manager at any company without any problem. Look at how you managed such a large team in the Northwest, making the project so successful. Let me have HR talk to you about salary, okay? You can tell HR what salary you want, and let them evaluate.”

Shang Zhitao shook her head: “Thank you. But I don’t want to go.”

“Then what do you want to do? You’re in such a mess, you know I can’t lose another friend, right?” Sun Yu choked up a bit: “I’ve only just started to feel better, don’t do anything stupid to scare me. I might not be able to handle it.”

“I won’t,” Shang Zhitao cried again: “I just broke up and feel a bit sad.”

Shang Zhitao’s phone wasn’t on silent. She took a shower, got into bed, but couldn’t fall asleep no matter what, so she sat by the window watching the snow. Having just experienced a major breakdown, the void in her heart couldn’t be filled no matter what. Her phone never rang. Shang Zhitao had always known that Luan Nian wouldn’t reach out to her. He was too lazy to look back, too lazy to seek answers; if you came, he would wait for you; if you left, he would go do something else.

Shang Zhitao never imagined breaking up would make someone feel this bad. She was eating, but the food had no taste; she rarely watched shows, but when she did, she couldn’t focus on what was happening; she was doing laundry, but kept forgetting to turn off the faucet.

Sun Yu stayed with her through the weekend, knowing the simplest solution would be to call Luan Nian and have him pick up Shang Zhitao, which would make her feel better. But she couldn’t do that. Because next time, Shang Zhitao would feel even worse. An unhealthy relationship must go through a breaking and rebuilding process, but Sun Yu didn’t know if they would ever rebuild.

On Sunday night, Shang Zhitao suddenly said to Sun Yu: “I’ve always known he wouldn’t say anything extra to me. No matter what happens, he would never take the initiative.” She went to take a shower, put on a face mask—she still had to go to work the next day.

Lu Mi didn’t make it to Ice City. On Monday, seeing Shang Zhitao at her workstation, she circled her twice, complimenting her: “Wow, who is this beautiful person? Is it my Flora Shang?”

Shang Zhitao smiled at her: “How’s my makeup? Acceptable?”

“Absolutely!” Lu Mi pinched her face: “This tender little face, how can it make people so jealous!”

The two joked around for a while, then went to buy coffee. They ran into Luan Nian coming out of a meeting. He had that familiar, pleasant, crisp scent, which made him seem even more cold and detached in winter. Neither of them looked at each other. Lu Mi reached out to greet Luan Nian: “Is Luke in a meeting?”

Luan Nian acted as if he hadn’t heard and entered the elevator, standing in front. He wore a high-quality gray suit jacket and a black turtleneck sweater, making him appear even more tall and straight. There was a strange silence in the elevator, and Lu Mi even felt a bit awkward. She tried to make conversation: “Luke, where did you play this weekend?”

“A gathering.”

“Gatherings are good, I also have gatherings often. Let’s go clubbing together sometime?”

Luan Nian stopped making small talk with her, and Lu Mi pursed her lips.

Shang Zhitao didn’t know if all people were like this after breaking up, not speaking to each other at all. She had no desire to talk to Luan Nian, and she wasn’t afraid of running into him at the company. She wouldn’t avoid him and would pass by him normally, but she wouldn’t talk to him anymore, not even exchanging glances.

In mid-December, Old Shang took a fall, and Shang Zhitao asked for leave to go see him.

Poor Old Shang, he missed a step on the stairs and suffered a comminuted fracture in his left foot, lying in bed, groaning. Shang Zhitao felt extremely sorry seeing Old Shang’s condition and scolded him: “Mom said you were jumping down the stairs when you fell. How old are you to still be jumping around!”

While speaking, she wiped her tears and touched his cast with her fingertips: “Tell me, does it hurt when you fall like this? Even young people would need three to five months to recover from such a fall, you should expect at least half a year!”

“I bought you a wheelchair and crutches, and you have to listen to the doctor. However, the doctor wants you to recover; that’s how you’ll do it. Understand?”

Seeing his daughter angry, Old Shang didn’t dare joke anymore and just grinned: “Alright. Your dad is in good health; others might take three to five months, but I’ll be walking in two months to show you.”

Da Zhai glared at him from the side: “You’d better shut up! You live by that mouth of yours every day!”

Shang Zhitao helped Old Shang change his clothes, but he was embarrassed and awkward: “Let your mom do it, let your mom do it.” His daughter had grown up, and a father should be mindful. Shang Zhitao went to find Da Zhai and saw her secretly wiping away tears in the room.

Shang Zhitao suddenly felt very sorry for them.

They had always gone along with her wishes. She only liked to learn calligraphy, so she wrote; her grades weren’t that good, and they accepted it; she wanted to study in Nanjing, they sent her there; she wanted to work in Beijing, so she went to Beijing.

Old Shang always said: “In this life, I, Old Shang, have only this one daughter. If I don’t indulge her, who would I indulge?”

Old Shang also said: “If I don’t indulge my daughter, should I indulge your daughter?”

“Daughters should be pampered. Our Taotao has never liked fighting since she was little, and she doesn’t have an overbearing personality. Working in such a big company, she’s doing very well. My daughter has been raised worthily.”

Every time Shang Zhitao heard Old Shang boasting, she would blush. She always felt that she wasn’t the best daughter; she just happened to have very good parents.

She stayed home to take care of Old Shang for two days, and then her high school classmates invited her out for dinner. She got ready and went. Every year when she came back for holidays, they would gather like this, but in the past two years, Old Shang had kept her so busy that she missed two gatherings.

Her high school classmates all had good relationships with each other. Many of them attended university in Ice City, and some returned after graduating from college. It seemed only a few people were still away from home. Ice City wasn’t too big, everyone got off work early, made a phone call, shouted in the group chat, and whoever could come would come, no matter how far.

Ice City had a lot of snow, with snowfall every few days, sometimes lasting for days. They agreed to meet at a barbecue restaurant in the old town because it was close to Shang Zhitao’s home.

He Yuan was Shang Zhitao’s best friend in high school. She studied at the police academy for university and worked as a small registration officer at the Ice City bureau after graduation. This time she came with a big belly, which surprised Shang Zhitao: “You didn’t tell me you were pregnant when I sent you roast duck a few days ago.”

He Yuan pointed at her belly: “Your big nephew wanted to eat it.”

“You know the gender?”

“The doctor said to prepare blue socks.”

High school classmates who stayed in Ice City got married, but they all lived relatively free, ordinary, happy lives. Shang Zhitao had developed some alcohol tolerance, so she sat by the window of the barbecue place, drinking and chatting with everyone. They talked about everyone’s recent situations. He Yuan patted Shang Zhitao’s shoulder and said: “Among our high school classmates, men with good conditions who are still single, I only know of Xing Yi from the class next door.”

“That school heartthrob?” asked another classmate.

“Yes, yes. He works in the government. I saw him once when he came to our bureau on business.”

Shang Zhitao listened to everyone chatting, and when she turned her head, she saw the snowy lights of the old town, the winding breath of pedestrians rising along the street, and a vendor with hundreds of boxes of popsicles arranged on the ground. Suddenly she felt that she should come back.

When parents are alive, don’t travel far.

She could return here, use her savings of several hundred thousand yuan from all these years to make a down payment on an approximately 120-square-meter house, and start a warm life anew.

The decision was made in that instant.

That day they drank a lot of alcohol, so much that everyone was quite drunk at the end, except for He Yuan with her big belly. Shang Zhitao felt like she hadn’t been this cheerful for a long time. She leaned on He Yuan’s shoulder and said to her: “I feel like we’re back to being seventeen.”

“At seventeen, you didn’t understand anything!” He Yuan laughed, knocking her on the head.

Indeed, seventeen-year-old Shang Zhitao was a bit silly. No matter who had good news, got first place in exams, or won awards, she would genuinely applaud others. Classmates would talk about Shang Zhitao behind her back: Could Shang Zhitao be simple-minded? How could she not be jealous of others?

Some boys passed her love letters, which scared her, and she would say to He Yuan: “Does he want to harm me?”

There were so many stories. Everyone talked about them at the table, laughing uncontrollably.

It was nearly eleven at night when she received Tracy’s call. She said to Shang Zhitao: “I originally wanted to talk to you in person today, but Josh said your family member was sick and you took leave. Is everything okay?”

“It’s just my dad who didn’t go down the stairs properly and fractured his left foot. He’s recovering, thanks to Tracy’s concern.”

“I’m calling you about two things. First, this year the company’s annual meeting needs a colleague from the planning department to plan and organize, and I’ve communicated with Josh, who recommended you. The other thing, I originally wanted to tell you in person, but I can’t wait.” Tracy was clearly in a good mood.

Shang Zhitao calculated the time, figuring that half a month would be enough to organize a company annual meeting, so she agreed to Tracy’s request: “So what’s the other thing?”

“This year, the company has added a special contribution award, with the same reward as hiring an expert, with one difference being that the expert’s stock options are vested over three years. The special contribution award is effective immediately.” Tracy paused, then said: “The special contribution award rewards non-expert level employees who have worked at the company for more than five years, have received A+ performance reviews for the last three periods, have operated more than 3 company-level projects, and have managed an S+ level project. This year, only you and Frank qualify in the company. So Flora, congratulations.”

The snow in Ice City was heavy that day, and Shang Zhitao quietly listened to Tracy speak. She didn’t realize she was crying, and in that cold weather, her tears froze on her face.

“Tracy,” Shang Zhitao’s voice was a bit hoarse: “Thank you.”

“This is something you earned yourself, Flora. You don’t need to thank me. If you want to thank something, thank your perseverance over the past six years.”

“But Tracy, I want to tell you something, can you keep it a secret for me?”

“I can. You can completely trust me.”

“I want to resign. I’m serious. If the company gives me this award, the company will lose out. And you will also have to bear the pressure of a core employee’s change.”

Shang Zhitao didn’t want to cause any trouble for Tracy. After all these years, Tracy had always been kind to her. Shang Zhitao respected her.

“Why not take the stock first and then consider what to do? You know, Lingmei’s stock is particularly valuable.”

“I’ve already decided to leave.”

“Then just accept it. You don’t need to worry about the other things.”

Tracy was a very strong and rational human resources manager. When others repeatedly invaded her territory and modified her rules, she would want to fight back. After working in the professional world for so long, no one was truly benevolent. Fighting with heaven was fun, and fighting with people was even more so.

“I…”

“Accept it. Don’t worry about the rest.” Tracy thought, to hell with it, it’s not my money. She was ready to bite back.

“Tracy, thank you.” Shang Zhitao’s nose was frozen stiff, and she covered it with her hand. Snot and tears froze together, making her look utterly miserable.

“I’ll keep it secret for you, from everyone.”

“Okay, thank you.”

After hanging up the phone, Shang Zhitao felt like she was in a dream. She didn’t ask Tracy why the company suddenly added a special contribution award this year, only feeling that this award came at the right time. It seemed like a farewell firework celebrating the end of her life in Beijing, sending her off from that city.

The next day, Shang Zhitao took Da Zhai to look at houses. She liked a house of 146 square meters, with a down payment of about 500,000 yuan and monthly payments of less than 5,000. She could afford it. She secured the house that day.

Da Zhai was confused beside her and asked: “Why are you buying a house?”

Shang Zhitao stood by the roadside, wrapped her down jacket tightly, helped Da Zhai tie her scarf properly, and then slowly said: “If I don’t buy a house, where would I live when I come back? If I squeeze in with you guys, wouldn’t the neighbors talk? Old Shang’s daughter worked outside for so many years without making a name for herself, and still has to squeeze in with her parents.” After saying this, she chuckled.

“You only come back a few days a year, who cares what others say!”

“No, Mom.” Shang Zhitao put her arm around her shoulder: “What I mean is, I’m going to return to Ice City to work.”

Da Zhai froze, and then this nearly sixty-year-old woman suddenly started crying by the roadside.

She had been gone for ten years, from Nanjing to Beijing, like a drifting duckweed without roots. Only in Ice City did she feel her feet on the ground. Here, she had her family, friends, her childhood and teenage years, and the heavy snow she loved.

And here, like wild grass that can sprout again next year even after countless frosts.

Just like her.