Ba Te took me to visit each household one by one. Because I couldn’t understand what they were saying, and combined with their instinctive rejection of the construction team, we were chased out after barely exchanging a few words.

But basically, I could determine that the reasons were pretty much the same as what Qinglong had said.

Most of the houses in Wuleji Village were self-built, both dilapidated and not wind-resistant. Meanwhile, some new houses had risen from the ground next door, so of course they had complaints in their hearts.

I compiled all this information and organized it into materials to report to Zhao Yu in the hospital ward.

Zhao Yu was from Beijing, not yet forty years old, and spoke bluntly. Upon hearing the reason, she nearly jumped up.

“This is like an old woman climbing onto the kang—it’s making this old lady laugh! It’s not like I made them live in broken buildings! How did an iron shovel end up smacking me on the head!”

Ba Te said from the side, “Remain calm. The resolution of internal contradictions among the people needs to proceed from reality, step by step…”

“I don’t understand what the hell you’re saying!” Zhao Yu waved her hand dismissively and said to me, “I think the solution to this conflict is damn simple—the county pays, we provide the labor, fix up the old houses too, and when the villagers’ psychology is balanced, they won’t make trouble.”

That was actually a viable approach.

“The county has no money!” Ba Te sighed three times in one breath. “The year before last, we built roads… last year, we promoted new seedling varieties… next year we still have to…”

“Then what do we do!” Zhao Yu’s round eyes glared angrily. “Should we forcibly construct then! Let someone smack me with another shovel?”

Ba Te hung his head down, his six-foot-three frame looking like he was four-foot-nine.

I’d heard at the company that Zhao Yu was a fierce general. She always took the lead in the company’s expansion activities, and therefore acted decisively and vigorously.

But her style was tough, and the villagers here were also tough—the kind of tough where they didn’t understand anything but dared to grab an iron shovel and greet you on the head with it.

I said, “Manager Zhao, you should rest and recover first, don’t worry. As you know, there are several half-grown young men here, not much different from livestock. If we have a safety incident, the loss would outweigh the gain.”

“It’s not like I want to rest but I have no choice!” Zhao Yu shook her head wrapped in bandages, displaying it. “Concussion! Inside it’s like scrambled eggs now!”

Ba Te and I simultaneously rushed to steady her. “Don’t shake it!”

After leaving the ward, Ba Te dutifully wanted to do the work of visiting each household. I said there was no need for now.

They wanted benefits, and we couldn’t provide them. Talking our lips off wouldn’t help.

“Then what do we do? The county attaches great importance to this project. If we can’t push it forward…” Ba Te’s eyes reddened, and he began sighing again. “The county has no money—”

Stop!

I said, “Don’t worry. Without talking about money first, we will definitely think of a solution to the problem. If it’s convenient for you, could you arrange a meeting with the county leadership for next Monday?”

Ba Te said, “I’ll try my best. What are you planning to do these two days?”

I said, “I need to go home.”

I flew back. The company couldn’t possibly reimburse it, so I paid out of pocket.

After getting off the plane, I went straight to the company to report the situation. We held a five-hour meeting in one go, then I rushed home at top speed.

My grandmother was having a dispute with the caregiver. When she saw me return, she showed me her little notebook where she’d even recorded how long the caregiver spent in the bathroom.

“I don’t need a caregiver!” she said. “I’m quite peaceful by myself.”

I said, “This matter is not up for discussion. I don’t feel at ease with you at home alone. I’ll find you another caregiver later, but you must have one.”

I arranged interviews with four or five caregivers online in one go.

By the time it ended, it was already two in the morning.

I took a shower, then revised the project proposal, dozing off at my desk in between.

At six o’clock, I got up to shower and put on makeup.

At seven o’clock, I took a taxi to Cheng Xia’s place.

When I opened the door, the warm light of dawn reflected through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Cheng Xia was curled up sleeping on the carpet.

He’d told me that when his insomnia was severe, he would keep walking around the house, and when he was tired from walking, he would collapse on the floor and fall asleep.

I sat to one side quietly watching him. He was truly beautiful, like the little prince sleeping on flower petals in a fairy tale.

On the night before I left, we sat in the midst of the mess for who knows how long.

He gazed at me, and that kind of manic excitement in his eyes slowly faded. He seemed to finally realize what terrible thing he had done and stammered, “…I’m sorry… I might be crazy… I…”

I said, “Give me my phone.”

He went to the room to get my phone and said in a low voice, “I’m sorry, I… messed everything up. I’m trash.”

I took the phone, then slowly, slowly moved closer to him.

“Listen to me, Cheng Xia.” I gently raised my hand and embraced him. “You’re not trash. You’re just sick.”

Cheng Xia’s whole body trembled. I held him and slowly comforted him.

“I can’t do anything well.” Cheng Xia lay on my lap, speaking as if in a dream. “I thought I was pretty capable, but after entering the design institute, I discovered that the things I wanted to design—I couldn’t do any of them… The clients all thought the things I drew were terrible, terrible.”

“Mm.”

“I didn’t think they were terrible… but what I thought was right, they all said was wrong. I suddenly didn’t know what was good and what was bad anymore… I suddenly just… couldn’t do anything.”

“Just because they all say it’s wrong doesn’t necessarily mean it’s wrong,” I said.

“I wanted to get justice for my mother. I investigated a lot, I wrote many reports. It was clearly right, so why didn’t anyone handle it? Am I too stupid… is it me… I can’t do anything.” Tears slowly flowed down. He said softly, “I missed you so much. If you were here, you would tell me what’s right and what’s wrong… but you weren’t there.”

A dull pain arose in my heart. This kind of pain had nothing to do with sadness. It was like watching a wild buffalo walk into the setting sun on the prairie—without any reason, yet it struck straight at the heart.

Cheng Xia held onto me and said many, many things, incoherently, like a dream.

He said, “I want to be with you. It’s like a dream, so happy and reassuring. I’m very afraid I’ll wake up.”

He said, “No one can separate us, okay? Don’t separate, not even for one minute.”

He finally slowly closed his eyes and fell asleep.

At the same time, something shattered with a crash inside my heart.

It was only then that I suddenly realized—I liked him so much, yet I had never asked how he’d been during all those years we were apart.

I didn’t even care what kind of person he was as a concrete individual. What I liked was that perfect version of him, the one without any flaws.

And now, I knew he wasn’t perfect. He was very fragile, very naive, prone to extremes. He was even sick.

As a living, breathing person, he had shown me his most genuine vulnerability and wounds.

…But I didn’t know what to do either. I was confused.

All I could do was cover him with a blanket, then get up and leave.

I knew he heard the sound of me leaving.

—

Cheng Xia slowly opened his eyes and looked at me in confusion.

“Did you dream about me?” I looked at him with a smile.

He nodded and said softly, “I dreamed you walked so fast, no matter what I did, I couldn’t catch up.”

“Dreams are opposite to reality. I said I’d come back quickly, and I keep my word.”

He suddenly hugged me, with such force that my entire body was pressed onto the carpet.

The crisp citrus scent enveloped me. His eyes were full of nervousness and joy.

“I don’t understand psychology either,” I said. “I only know that when you’re sick, you need to see a doctor. From now on, I’ll come back to accompany you to see doctors.”

“What if it can’t be cured?”

“If it can’t be cured, we’ll keep treating it. With me by your side, what are you afraid of!” I raised my hand to touch his face. “Cheng Xia, you have nothing to fear.”

“I love you.”

Before I could finish speaking, he kissed me almost fiercely. The sun had already risen, and in the room full of clear, transparent sunlight, we kissed with our whole hearts.

This was a kiss unrelated to desire, yet it made me experience for the first time what it meant to be inseparable, as close as lips and teeth.

Only occasionally my mind wandered a bit.

I was thinking—what if he gets better? Would he still say “I love you”?